If That's What You Want
by Banana-viking
Summary: Elsanna (not sisters). Some say the past is in the past. However, when the past somehow manages to come back and slap you in the face, you stop believing in such ludicrous sayings. Elsa and Anna are reunited after many years apart and are suddenly forced to work together. Modern AU. M-rated for language, violence and mature scenes. (Cover image by yaripawn)
1. You Again

**If That's What You Want**

**Chapter 1 – You again**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own neither Disney, DreamWorks nor any of their characters.

**Warning/heads up:** intimate scenes.

* * *

_**2007 – Arendelle**_

"Fuck!" The blonde moaned as she collapsed on top of the girl beneath her. Panting, she rolled onto her side, careful not to bump her head on the car ceiling.

"That was awesome," she breathed, as she buttoned her pants. They both lay for a while, trying to catch their breaths.

Both were wearing a thin layer of sweat. The air was thick with the smell of sex. The crammed space was hot, like, excessively hot. The faint sound of the radio hummed and filled the car with a few soothing tunes. _Snow Patrol's_ "Chasing Cars" was playing, relaxing the two girls. Elsa's body felt heavy as she pulled an arm behind her head and rested on it.

Anna remained quiet for some time, still coming down from her high. The feeling of coming undone in Elsa's hands was still fresh on her mind. She wanted to lay there and forget everything around her. Shut out the world completely, and just stare into those perfect icy blue orbs. And no, she didn't quite know what to say or how to feel. But that was okay.

It wasn't the utmost romantic setting Elsa could think of, and deep down she might have been a little sad that she couldn't have given Anna a more special first time. They'd managed to put down the backseat, making enough room for them to at least lay down. Lucky for them, Elsa's Volvo was spacious enough for such activities.

"How was that for a first time?" Elsa asked, a confident smile spreading across her lips.

She was satisfied with her performance, loving as the girl had screamed out her name near the end.

"Pretty amazing," Anna whispered, still a bit out of breath.

The muffled sound of music echoed from outside. People were yelling and dancing and laughing as the party was at its peak. The bass quivered the car windows, even though Elsa and Anna had retrieved to the outskirts of the forest.

"I can't believe you get to get out of here," the redhead mumbled as she rested her head on the blonde's chest. Elsa stroked the girl's back, while Anna traced patterns into the blonde's shirt. "I still got one more year to go…." Anna's voice was full of admiration, but also sadness. She wished she was the one graduating, but to her despair, she had another year of high school left.

Elsa said nothing; uncertain of how to respond. She didn't want to say anything she might regret later. Such as something along the lines of she every intention to visit Anna all the time. After all, they weren't girlfriends or anything like that. No, the stunning senior had simply showed an interest in the feisty redhead. She couldn't deny herself the attraction she felt towards the younger girl, but Elsa wasn't much for relationships.

Elsa knew how badly Anna wanted to get out of there. All the girl could talk about was how deeply she longed of going into the big city. To make something of herself and not be stuck in the lousy town, known as Arendelle, for the rest of her life.

"Well, Feisty Pants, it's been fun. But I should head back," Elsa said, untangling herself from the redhead's arms. After all, it was her graduation party. She should be out there with the drunk crowd and celebrate her freedom – at least that's what she tried to convince herself. In reality, Elsa knew the longer she stayed in that car with Anna, the harder this all would get. Guilt was already eating her up.

Anna was confused for a moment, disappointed that the blonde didn't want to stay and cuddle. Had it not meant as much to Elsa as it had to her? Of course, Elsa had quite the reputation and had slept with a number of people so far, but wasn't this special to her? Elsa _had_ just taken the younger girl's virginity after all.

Elsa exited the vehicle, adjusting her jeans and pulling on her jacket. Anna slowly followed, awkwardly watching the blonde as she lit a cigarette. That girl sure was a looker, with her platinum blonde hair, and marble white skin. No wonder she wasn't a virgin.

"You promise to call?" Anna asked hopefully.

The redhead took a few steps away from the car, pulling her bra into place. Elsa locked the doors and turned towards the younger girl.

"Of course, Snowflake," Elsa replied with a smile, heaving in another breath of smoke. The smile vanished as soon as Anna looked away, guilt plaguing her mind from the lie she'd just told.

Before she left, she stole a quick kiss from the redhead's lips. She would keep that kiss with her forever. Then she headed towards the deafening music with long confident strides. All Anna could do was watch as Elsa left, wearing a wide grin accompanied by her still blushing cheeks.

* * *

_**2015 (Present day) – New York**_

"No, I need the files on my desk by tomorrow," Anna snapped into her cellphone. "Because that was our agreement, that's why! I need them by tomorrow, Mr. Smith – good day to you!"

The redhead angrily smacked the phone down on her desk, and buried her face in her hands. _How can these people be so incompetent,_ she thought to herself.

"You alright there, Anna?" A gentle voice asked from behind her. The girl turned to face a couple of dark brown eyes.

"Yeah, everything's fine, Sven. I'm just a bit…overwhelmed is all."

Her green eyes rested upon the tall slender man now in front of her. He leaned against her desk, wearing his usual black vest and dress pants. His shoes were so delicately polished that you nearly see your own reflection in them.

"Well, you _are_ working for one of the most fast-growing corporations in New York," Sven laughed. His thick brown hair was brushed back with a subtle amount of gel. "I think it's normal to feel a bit overwhelmed at times." Sven smiled again, revealing a pearly white row of teeth. "And as your private assistant it's my job to ease out the workload for you."

Anna couldn't help but smile at the brown haired man's comforting words. Sven really was a great guy. When Anna was promoted once again her boss, Megara, suggested hiring a private assistant, considering Anna would surely drown in work otherwise.

Even though Anna was dedicated and hardworking, no one should be forced to spend his or her weekends at the office. Especially one as highly ranked as Anna. She had a close companionship with Megara, the intimidating brunette who as of now owned the company.

Speaking of the devil, a slight knock sounded on the doorframe to Anna's office, and both she and Sven turned their attention towards the tall slender brunette peaking her head in.

"Anna, meeting in the conference room in ten. I'm sure Sven has already filled you in on the details," her boss said eyeing her kindly, but professionally.

"Sure thing!" Anna chippered, sending one of her billion-dollar smiles.

"Good, don't be late." And with that Megara was gone.

Anna shot up from her chair. Her face expressed anger, but mostly panic. The freckles dusted across her nose nearly vanished as her face started blooming a deep red color.

"What meeting Sven!?" She exclaimed as soon as she knew her boss was out of reach.

The man smiled while rubbing his chin causing it to make a scratchy sound as his fingers ran over his brown stubbles. Anna started pacing the office, her heels sounding loud against the smooth marble floor. She ran her hands over her pencil skirt and tried tucking in her black dress-shirt further down the skirt as if it was possible.

"Relax, it's just a meeting with some business engineers – they're here to help improve the firm in any way they can. You know, making sure everything's bulletproof. Actually, they're going to help you lead our next project – if Meg likes them that is," Sven explained. "Sorry I didn't mention it earlier; you just seemed to have a lot on your plate. Besides, you don't really have to do anything, Meg makes the final call anyway. She just wants you there, because you'll probably be working pretty close if they get the deal."

"Where're they from?" Anna asked, redoing her messy bun, trying to calm herself down from the scare.

"Oh, they're actually a private business – a pretty small firm. The best of the best, or so I've heard. Hold on, I think I got their card somewhere…" Sven was looking through the folder he was holding. After seconds of searching, he finally pulled a business card out of the pocket of his vest. He handed it to the Anna who carefully read it, while admiring the neat design.

_Christianson &amp; Hofferson_

_Global Business Engineering _

_We fix it, optimize it, or invent it_

"Christianson huh…" the freckled girl mumbled.

"What about it?" The man in front of her asked.

"Oh nothing, I just knew someone with that last name once." She looked up and handed the card back to Sven. He looked at his watch, and nodded towards the door.

"Alright, let's do this," he smiled.

"You owe me lunch for that stunt," Anna growled.

Sven merely laughed, promising he'd purchase the girl a sandwich later on.

* * *

The elbow that dug into Elsa's side had her look up from the magazine neatly placed in her lap.

"They're ready for you now," a brown haired young man announced as he opened the door to the conference room.

His hair was smoothed back with a crazy amount of gel, and Elsa couldn't help but assume the man was clearly as gay as the day was long.

"That's us. Let's go, Bambi," Astrid said and tugged on her partner's blazer before she even had time to get to her feet and place her folder under her arm.

Astrid took a few forceful strides towards the door where the young man was warmly gesturing for them to come in. Astrid swept the bangs away from her face, but they fell back over her eyes again almost immediately after.

"We got this," Astrid said quietly, fist bumping her partner. "Always do," Elsa replied with a grin.

The two women were almost dressed similarly, both wearing special made black blazers and slim fit dress pants. Underneath they were wearing a dress shirt, carefully tucked into their pants. Elsa was wearing a white dress shirt, while Astrid's was blood red.

If you weren't mistaken, the pair could easily go for being models instead of successful business women. Both girls had their hair pulled into a braid. Only difference was that Elsa had her bangs pushed back, whereas Astrid's were hovering over her eyes.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen," Elsa announced as they entered the conference room with such confidence a stand-up comedian would've been jealous. Astrid was already setting up charts, and writing on the tiny white-board provided for the presentation.

"I'm Elsa Christianson, and this is my partner Astrid Hofferson, and we're here to…" Elsa stopped mid-sentence. The room suddenly fell quiet as Elsa stopped speaking so suddenly.

Astrid shot a quick glance towards her partner who'd seemed to have frozen to the spot, eyes fixated on one of the faces in the small crowd.

Elsa had lost the ability to speak, which was rare, since her job practically consisted on speaking. She was educated in the art of bullshitting, and now her mind didn't seem to cooperate as the redhead sat there staring holes in her suit. Those red locks weren't easy to mistake, it was her Anna sitting by the oval table in that conference room.

Elsa was awestruck for a second. She had barely recognized the younger girl sitting in the crowd. For a split second, she remembered back. _Oh shit…_ she thought as she realized that perhaps they hadn't parted on the best terms. Or on any terms at all, that is.

Anna seemed to be startled for a second, her eyes growing wide, and her hand clenching around her pen. _Oh god, please don't make a scene, please don't make a scene,_ Elsa thought frantically, but was relieved when she saw Anna take a sip of water, and lean back into her chair.

Someone cleared their throat painfully obvious, and Elsa looked over her shoulder only see Astrid's confused eyes giving her a look that couldn't be interpreted as anything other than _"Bambi what the fucking fuck are you doing you moron?" _She could practically hear those exact words fall from Astrid's mouth, and they probably would soon if she didn't get her act together.

"Proceed please," the brunette at the end of the table then said, as if Elsa didn't have enough to think about. She was still processing over the shock. It wasn't every day your past came back to haunt you.

Elsa was painfully aware of the death glare Anna was sending her during the presentation, but decided to ignore it, determining their disputes could be settled like grown-ups after the meeting. Or so she hoped at least. _Maybe I can sneak out the back when it's over…_ Elsa thought wishfully.

Clearly, her brain had gone on autopilot, pulling out that professional character of hers. She'd done this so many time, it barely seemed like a challenge anymore.

When the meeting was finally over, and the presenters had shook hands with the board, everyone was about ready to leave.

"We'll contact you, and let you know when we've come to a decision," Megara said to the platinum blonde as she firmly shook her hand. "Great presentation I might add."

People began to disperse, and soon the room was nearly empty, all beside Anna who was standing by the table collecting her load of papers. Her back was straight, and she looked deeply engrossed in the stack of papers in front of her.

Elsa swallowed hard. She could hardly recall how long it'd been since she had laid eyes upon the beautiful redhead. Anna's womanly features had surely caught up with her, Elsa thoughtfully added. The younger girl looked nothing like the redhead she'd known in high school.

Her curves were more dominant, and Elsa's couldn't help but study those stunning hips. Anna's breasts nearly looked a cup size larger than since they last saw each other. The baby-fat was gone, but her cheeks still held that cute roundness.

"You coming?" Astrid asked impatiently.

Elsa eyed the redhead whom was still clearly pretending to be utterly focused on the stack of papers in front of her.

"In a bit. See you downstairs?" The platinum blonde said, hardly able to comprehend her partner's question. She was too captivated by the piece of her past known as Anna Albright in front of her.

Astrid shrugged and walked off.

Suddenly, it was only the two of them left in the room. The furniture were all the latest design, making the room seem ahead of its time somehow.

Elsa slowly approached the redhead who'd finally gathered the massive stack of paper, and was now clutched it tightly to her chest. Anna's eyes now rested on Elsa's lean figure, looking her all the way up until she met those icy blue eyes of hers.

"Hello, Anna," Elsa said, considering if she dared to send the redhead a smile. "Did you miss me?"

It was as if the sound of the slap came after the collision of Anna's hand and Elsa's face. The sound was satisfying to the ears, and Anna smiled internally, even though she remained as cold as ice on the surface. The force from the blow had had Elsa turn her head, and the familiar sting started to spread across her cheek.

The redhead stormed off, her bun bouncing from every step she took.

"Guess I deserved that," the blonde mumbled to herself.

* * *

**A/N: **I know Elsa seem a bit out of character right now, but that's on purpose. As always, I want to warn you guys that this story will contain plenty of angst. However, I'm excited to see what you guys think. If you're interested in my future projects, you can find a short description on my profile. You're welcome to PM me if you have any questions for me.

Thanks to TeamWildeEllie for betaing. And a special thanks to Andy for helping me with the title.

Stay brilliant folks!


	2. Beer Toast

**Chapter 2 – Beer toast**

"What the hell happened to you?" Astrid asked as Elsa walked out of the lobby.

The blonde was rubbing her sore cheek, still red from Anna's unexpected (well, it wasn't completely unexpected) slap.

Astrid was standing by a large black Ducati. Next to it stood a similar model, only this one was deep blue.

"Guess you could say I ran into an ex," Elsa mumbled, fully aware that she probably deserved the blow, but was still not happy about it.

Astrid merely laughed, fighting the urge to poke Elsa's fiery red cheek with a finger. Astrid knew better though, Elsa could become quite the queen of foul language if she was mad or upset.

"Wow, you must've done something pretty terrible to deserve a punch of such quality," Astrid giggled as she grabbed Elsa's chin to inspect her cheek. "So, who is she?" Her friend asked eagerly.

"Anna," Elsa grumbled. "Her name is Anna."

"Wait, _the_ Anna? The one from high school?" Astrid asked, her tone suddenly a tad more serious.

Elsa simply nodded while snatching the keys from her bag.

"Well," Astrid started, swinging a leg over the heavy motorbike, "I probably would've slapped you too."

Elsa motioned towards the deep blue beast, retrieving her helmet from under the seat.

"You really going to ride in those heels?" Elsa asked, trying to change the topic.  
"Since when do you care? Just because_ you_ can't walk in them doesn't mean other people aren't allowed to," her partner argued.

Astrid's phone buzzed the same second she'd finished talking, and Elsa let out a sigh of relief. She really didn't want to discuss the Anna-matter any further.

She was doubtlessly going home to sulk things over all night anyway and hardly felt like spending time during the day discussing it as well. She had eight years' worth of thoughts about to explode in her mind.

"Oh look, we got the job," Astrid said nonchalant.

"Shocker," Elsa mumbled as she pulled her helmet over her head.

"So, should we grab a few beers to celebrate?" Elsa asked, securing the helmet under her chin. Astrid shot her a warning glance, blue eyes boring into Elsa's.

"Kidding. Just kidding," Elsa then said, and plucked her keys in the ignition. The machine gave a roar as she started the engine.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Anna, but it's already settled," Megara said as she eyed the girl over her reading glasses. "They were everything we were looking for. You should be happy. I know you've been under a lot of stress lately, which is why I only wanted the most capable people to help you with this project."

Megara's tone of voice said it all. End of discussion. But the young redhead was never known as a quitter. Quite on the contrary, Anna would often pursue things with such integrity it was almost frightening. Partly how she earned her current job. Surely, her stubbornness could cause a lot of trouble, but Anna never let it restrain her from getting what she wanted.

"But can't we find another firm that is equally capable?" Anna persisted.

"We could… but we already notified them about their new positions. So, unless _you_ would like to call and fire them again, I'd suggest you enjoy the help provided." Those were her boss' final words before she wafted her out of her office.

The redhead sighed wholeheartedly. Anna had to admit defeat. Arguing any further from this point and out would not have a positive outcome. She was stuck with Elsa.

Anna tumbled out, uncertain about how to feel about the entire situation. It had been eight years; the blonde must surely have changed? _I need to see it before I believe it. How dare she?! After all these years. 'You miss me?' To have the audacity-_

"Hey, you alright?" Sven asked as he walked pass the fuming redhead.

Anger was practically radiating from the girl. The color of her face nearly matched the fiery red locks framing her dainty face.

"No, Sven, I'm furious! How dare she just waltz in here and-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, what're we talking about here?" The man said, draping an arm around the girl's shoulder.

When Anna said nothing other than burying her face in her hands for the second time that day, Sven tugged on the girl's shoulder.

"Come on, I owe you lunch don't I? Then you can tell me all about it," Sven cooed soothingly, pulling Anna along towards the lobby.

They sat down at their reserved table at "Jim's" and ordered their usual. Anna took the time between ordering and waiting for the food to arrive to gather herself. Sven remained silent, knowing the girl would definitely feel better when she got something to eat. He had known Anna for quite some time now, and an Anna on an empty stomach was pretty much the recipe for disaster.

Their sandwiches finally arrived, and Anna didn't hesitate in taking a massive bite, purely neglecting the fact that she was wearing her expensive work clothes. Sven leaned over to plant a napkin in her lap as Anna chewed. Slowly, the redhead seemed to relax, her shoulders releasing the tension, and making them drop noticeably.

"So, tell me everything," her friend said, as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Sven was sophisticated, using fork and knife to eat his sandwich. Anna believed using cutlery on something as holy as a sandwich would kill the sandwich's soul. She chewed her food before proceeding.

"You remember when I said that the name 'Christianson' sounded familiar?"

Sven said nothing, merely nodded indicating for the girl to continue.

"Well, let's just say I know Elsa Christianson alright," she said conclusively with a bitter tone of voice. Sven stopped chewing halfway through a bite.

"You mean, _that_ Elsa Christianson?" Sven said with his mouth half full, a rare occurrence on the tidy man's behalf.

Anna just nodded, angrily stuffing her sandwich into her mouth, and took another rather large bite. Sven was the only person Anna had told about Elsa. She figured, with him being gay and all, he would understand.

"The one who took your virginity, and never called you again? That Elsa Christianson?"

"Yup," Anna said, trying to stuff her mouth even further with another bite.

"The Elsa Christianson that disappeared out of nowhere and you never saw or heard from her since?"

"Mhm," Anna couldn't say anything since her mouth was so full.

"Jesus Christ, Anna, would you give that poor sandwich a break," Sven stated as she was about to force another bite down.

Anna just rolled her eyes. She wasn't in the mood for a lecture about her eating habits. It was quiet for a little while. Sven was still processing.

"… The Elsa Christianson who promised she would wait for you, so that you could get out of Arendelle together?"

"Oh my God, Sven! Yes! _That_ Elsa Christianson!" Anna snapped, nearly spraying Sven with chewed sandwich.

Once again, it fell quiet around the little table. Sven had stopped eating, leaning back in his chair.

"… she was … rather beautiful," he then said, as if out of nowhere.

"Jeez, who's side are even you on?! And aren't you supposed to be gay?" The redhead now threw her hands up in defeat.

This clearly wasn't her day today. First she'd gotten a parking ticket for being two minutes late, and the meter had run out, and then later to find that Mr. Smith had completely neglected his responsibilities as assistant manager. _Gosh, and now I have those two idiots on board on the new team…_ The frustration was hard to ignore. She comforted herself with the idea of her home alone with a glass of wine and a nice warm bath.

"Just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I can't appreciate attractive people," he smirked.

Anna sighed. She knew this project was going to be stressful, but now that Elsa had made a sudden reappearance in her life, the stress factor had suddenly tripled. Now she actually had to make an _extra_ effort to look at hot as she could, since Elsa was on her team.

"Oh, Sven, what do I do? I don't want to see her every day! I wouldn't mind if I never had to see her face again – gosh this is going be so awkward!"

"You just got to stick it out, Beautiful. Sooner or later Ms. Christianson's going to realize that she missed out on the most wonderful person on earth. Show her how well you're doing without her."

"Oh, now you're just trying to make me forget about the whole 'not telling me about the meeting' thing," the redhead teased.

"I thought lunch would do that!" He exclaimed, obviously stunned that she wouldn't just let it go already.

"Well, that was before I ran into my ex," she stated.

After lunch, the two parted to finish up for the day. Anna knew she would have a long day tomorrow, and decided to go home early, and finish work there.

She drove her red fiat 500, windows rolled down to let the fresh autumn air in. She finally reached her apartment complex, and drove her car down the ramp to the basement. She pressed five on the elevator, listening to the dull lounge music playing.

The familiar 'ding' sounded, and she exited with a heavy sigh of exhaustion. She couldn't wait to sink into that deep bathtub of hers with a lovely glass of Chardonnay and perhaps some chocolates. As she pushed open the door, she was greeted by the smell of burned bread and beer.

"Anna's home!" The two girls behind the stove announced happily. "How was your day? We're making French toast and beer!" The red haired girl holding the oozing pan exclaimed.

Her curly hair stood in all directions, and sometimes it was hard to tell if there even was a face behind the bouncy red locks.

"I doubt you're making beer," Anna muttered under her breath as she took off her overcoat.

She had really been looking forward for some peace and quiet, and hadn't expected her roommates to be home this early. The Elsa-situation had put a mark on her mood, and she didn't feel like her usual happy self.

Even though she had the money, Anna never liked living alone. She needed people around her; she was the kind of person who was fuelled by the company of others, unlike those who had to charge their batteries alone. Although, today was different. All she wanted to do was to go to her room and be by herself.

What Anna never had understood was how she could have agreed to move in with as crazy and insane people as Merida and Marie. Merida, the short intimidating (but loving) redhead, worked at the adventure-center down the street, while the sassy Marie owned the French diner a couple of blocks from their apartment.

Sure, she could have afforded a penthouse with ten bathrooms and a maid to come clean up after her, but that wasn't her. Anna liked it cozy, and familiar – not the cold setting of a big lonely apartment, no matter how prestigious and glamorous it may have sounded. But in the end, it was only things. Emotionless material, which may or may not have any sentimental value. And things didn't make Anna happy. Anna enjoyed the company of other people, the joy and warmth they could bring. She got attached easily, but she couldn't help it.

Not that Anna was completely dependent of other people. Quite the opposite in fact. She had taken the big leap, left her dull hometown, and confronted the big city head on. She was a tough one, that is. Paying her own way through college, and landing a steady job at Frost &amp; Co. working her way up the latter.

"Yoo-hoo, earth to Anna?" Marie called.

The slim blonde abandoned the stove, leaving Merida to the burning egg-soaked bread. The blonde's hair was neatly tied up in a high ponytail, not one hair amiss, with a pink ribbon. The girl was tall, taller than Elsa, Anna made note of.

"You alright, Darling?" Marie asked, as she walked towards the freckled redhead.

"Yeah I'm fine, just not very hungry," Anna mumbled. A gasp sounded from the two roommates.

"Since when is Anna Albright not hungry?" Merida exclaimed, as she turned off the stove, grabbed her beer and abandoned the food to slump down on the couch. Marie led Anna, who hadn't even managed to get out of her heels yet, to the couch.

"What's the matter, Babe?" Marie asked, holding Anna's hand, resting their hands on her knee.

And Anna told them. She told them everything from the parking ticket, to Elsa and high school, and the slap and her lunch with Sven. Merida couldn't hold back a victory cheer when she heard about how Anna had smacked Elsa across the cheek. Anna herself wasn't totally proud of her action, but couldn't deny how good it had felt.

"Whoa Anna, didn't know you used to batter for the other team, way to go girl," Merida said and gave her a sly wink. Marie swatted at the girl, clearly not finding such comments appropriate in current situation.

"Tell you what," Marie started, her blue eyes packed with sympathy for the redhead beside her, "tomorrow we're going hit the town. Then we're going find the perfect guy, um girl… _person_, for you, and we are going dance all night. How does that sound?" Marie and Merida both sat waiting in anticipation for a response.

"I don't know you guys, I got a lot of wor-"

"You're coming, Bitch, whether I have to drag your sorry ass all the way to the club or not," Merida interrupted, taking a sip of her beer. And just like that, it was settled. End of discussion.

The two girls went back to their cooking, while Anna retrieved to her room. She immediately threw her bag on her queen-sized bed, and headed directly to her own personal bathroom – though not before snatching her laptop from her desk.

As Anna let the hot water unknot her tense muscles, she reached for her laptop, carefully placing it by the edge of the tub.

"So what have you been up to the past eight years…?" she mumbled to herself as she entered Elsa's Facebook page.

Admittedly, Anna hated snooping, but simply couldn't resists when it came to mystery that was Elsa Christianson.

"Hmm, graduated from NYU… born December 16th … speaks Norwegian? ... boring, boring, boring," Anna commented as she scrolled down.

She didn't know why, but she was disappointed when she couldn't find a relationship status. There was nothing about Elsa's personal life, not even a checked box that said "single." The page merely withheld a few pictures of Elsa and Astrid together holding some fancy looking drinks at a beach.

Anna slammed the computer shut, deeply annoyed that she was showing a sudden interest in the blonde's life. Elsa had chosen to cut Anna out of her life completely, so why couldn't Anna do the same? Why could she just not care?

Pulling herself out of the water, Anna headed straight to bed, trying to push all thoughts that contained anything about Elsa aside. It wasn't an easy task, and her mind would keep roaming loudly with memories and thoughts about Elsa Christianson who had suddenly pushed her way into her life once again.


	3. Face Guard

**Chapter 3 – Face Guard**

**Warning/Heads up: **Some angst. Not much :)

* * *

"What's in the backpack?" Astrid asked when she saw Elsa park in front of her building.

The blonde was hunched over her blue motorcycle, wearing a backpack that seemed to be stuffed to the limit. Astrid approached her with determined strides, wearing her black leather boots instead of heels today.

"An investment for the future," Elsa replied.

Astrid just shook her head, giving Elsa one of her 'I don't want to know' stares. Both girls put on their helmets, and drove off to work. Traffic wasn't too bad, and they arrived somewhat early at their destination.

They took the elevator up to the top floor, preparing to meet their whole team for the first time. Both girls were out of their suits.

Elsa was wearing jet-black skinny jeans, hugging her legs all the right places, accompanied by a dark tank and her black leather jacket. She was also wearing her Ray Ban aviator sunglasses, with blue flash lenses. Her hair was pulled into her standard braid, bangs brushed back. She received multiple stares and glances as she walked by, mostly of admiration. Some of envy. Although her outfit didn't deem fit to her current work-place, she wore it with such confidence that no one would even dare question it. Her partner had also dropped the "nice-girl" façade, but had kept the blazer, now accompanied by a red tank.

They entered the crammed space where a few others sat by the oval table, waiting patiently. Anna was among the crowd, Sven sitting by her side. The meeting went by swiftly, as Astrid and Elsa presented their ideas, and received feedback from the team.

After four intense hours at it, Anna called in for a short break. People dispersed, probably heading for a coffee bar or somewhere else where they could get their daily energy boost.

Astrid and Elsa stood, discussing a few pinpoints, when Anna walked up to them and cleared her throat gently.

"May I talk to you? Alone?" She asked, and Elsa looked up from her papers.

Astrid tried to fight the urge to giggle as her mind was singing 'Elsa's in trouble, Elsa's in trouble.' She clearly caught the hint, and Astrid excused herself to go to the bathroom.

"What's up?" Elsa asked, now facing Anna.

Her icy blue eyes stared directly into Anna's teal ones. There was no indication of a smile on Anna's lips as she spoke.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm a professional, and I intend to-"

Elsa raised a finger before Anna could continue. The redhead looked confused for a moment, but stopped speaking.

"Hold on, let me just…" Elsa reached into her backpack, pulling out a massive baseball helmet with attached face guard. She pulled it over her head, and then looked at Anna. The guard protected her face just perfectly. There was only a faint redness left on Elsa's cheek from yesterday's blow.

"Continue."

Anna stood speechless for a second. The silence was long enough for Elsa to quirk an eyebrow.

"You seriously brought that thing with you to work, just to make a lousy point?" Anna said in disbelief. Obviously, the redhead had little patience for Elsa's childish games.

"Well, you never know when those hands of yours are going swat across my face. Thought I'd take precaution." The smile on Elsa's lips didn't reveal the perfect row of teeth of hers.

"You look ridiculous," was all Anna could to say. She definitely did not find this funny.

"That may be," Elsa stated, very sure of herself.

"I can't take you seriously with that thing on."

"Well, I'm not going to risk my flawless face, just because you can't take me seriously."

Anna sighed loudly, dropping her hands to her sides, instead of having them folded across her chest.

"Would you just take that stupid thing off? I'm not going to punch you, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

They stood for a moment while Elsa fought her stubbornness. Then she pulled off the helmet with a smile, and brushed her bangs back over her head.

"Thank you," Anna said, still not amused. "Look. We're stuck on this project together. The sooner we get it done, the faster we can get out of each other's hair, so can we just _try _and act like professionals?"

Silence once again filled the room. Anna hated the smug smile that spread across Elsa's lips. Could she not take her seriously, just this once?

"You look beautiful," Elsa said charmingly, as if Anna's words had completely gone over her head.

"W-what? Really?" The redhead shot an insecure hand up to play with one of her braids. "I-I mean, did you hear anything I just said?"

"I did."

"Well, clearly you didn't. Or else you wouldn't just have said such _unprofessional _things."

"So, what? I can't pay you a compliment now?" Elsa asked, pretending to be offended.

"No. Actually you can't. You resigned yourself from that privilege eight years ago, when you decided to leave without as much as a goodbye! Now, if you'll excuse me," Anna said before she stormed off for the second time.

What was it about Elsa that set her off like that? Usually, she was a people person, got along with almost everybody, but Elsa just managed to keep pushing her buttons.

* * *

The night had fallen upon New York, and Elsa was on her couch watching TV. Work had been productive, a good distraction at least. The TV was running, and the news was on, albeit the news anchor was going on about a car accident downtown.

Elsa sat with her computer in her lap, where she found herself scrolling through Anna's profile on Facebook. She rarely used such platonic social medias as Facebook, but for once, it seemed to be useful.

_Anna S. Albright_

_Born August 14__th__ (25yrs. old)_

_Works at Frost &amp; Co._

_Status: Single_

Facebook sure was effective when the urge to stalk someone hit, and Elsa couldn't deny herself the curiosity that had awoken as soon as she had seen Anna Albright again.

The sudden knock on her front door snapped her out of her thoughts. She closed her laptop, and went to open it.

"Get dressed, we're going out," Astrid announced as she walked into Elsa's apartment.

The place was tidy, and clean. The kitchen practically sparkled, but that was probably because no one ever cooked in it. Elsa still stood by the door, even though Astrid had practically stormed through as soon as she had opened it, inviting herself in. Elsa closed the door, and followed Astrid who had headed for Elsa's bedroom.

As Elsa entered, she was greeted by a white shirt thrown at her face.

"Come on, Bambi, it'll be good for you," Astrid insisted.

"Could you not call me that?" Elsa asked, but knew it was a lost cause.

"Sure thing, Bambi," Astrid replied, obviously not caring, as she ripped more clothes out from Elsa's walk-in closet.

Elsa sat placed herself on the bed, while Astrid laid out an outfit for her.

"You seriously need to get out more. You spend way too much time in this place."

Elsa just nodded, pulling on the pants Astrid had picked out for her. They were high waist, and the zipper was in the back. Then she pulled on the plain white low-cut t-shirt, and her leather jacket.

"Uh uh, way too hot for that. We're going dancing," the other girl said while pulling off Elsa's jacket.

"You got your phone?" Astrid asked.

"Yes, Mom," Elsa teased, which resulted in a playful punch from her partner.

The girls left and hailed a taxi. They then drove off into the night, headed for the newest club in town. They didn't wait in line for too long, after all, they were both very attractive, and the doorman definitely had an eye for Elsa.

The music was near the point of deafening, and the bass could be felt in Elsa's chest.

"Sure is a lot of people here," Elsa said worriedly into Astrid's ear.

"You'll be fine, Elsa. I promise you. Just don't get lost. You can do this."

Astrid shot her a confident look, and patted her once reassuringly on the shoulder. They then walked to the bar, and people made room for them. For a moment, Elsa simply admired all the dancing bodies on the floor.

It was hot, and people were sweating. Astrid tried to get the bartender's attention, while Elsa leaned against the counter, looking out at all the drunk dancing people. She felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned around, only to greet a tall bulky brown-haired man.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked, drowning in self-confidence.

His dress shirt was open, revealing an aligned row of rock-hard abs. The man's overly tan skin and freshly cut hair had Elsa's lunch stir in her stomach. Even if she hadn't played for the other team, there still wouldn't have been enough money on earth to let him buy her a drink. The man in front of her was surely so fed up with himself that even if he _was_ that last guy on earth and they were selected to repopulate the world, Elsa would have to let the human race go extinct rather than to sleep with him.

"No, thank you," Elsa replied, and turned her head back to the dancing people.

"Oh come on, I'll get you a drink. What would you like? Gin &amp; tonic? Martini? A beer?" He snapped his fingers at the bartender.

"I said no thank you, I don't want a drink," Elsa persisted, slowly getting more and more irritated at the man who clearly couldn't take a hint.

"Martini it is then," he laughed, and snapped his fingers once again.

"She's with me," Astrid snapped, and snatched Elsa, dragging her away from the creepy guy.

Elsa sent her a thankful smile. Astrid handed her a glass, and they both stood and sipped their drinks observing the people in the club. The space was packed, and Elsa couldn't help the slight spark of anxiety that rose within her. She leaned closer towards Astrid, who draped a protective arm around her friend's shoulder.

Something suddenly caught Elsa's attention. Something that made her completely forget about the uprising discomfort she had just experienced.

Fiery red locks pulled into a high ponytail, caught her vision. The girl was swirling around in the middle of the dance floor, her moves were smooth and skilled. She danced as if she used no efforts, moving across the dance floor elegantly and sexy. She was wearing a black skirt, and a dark green blouse tucked into it. It was sexy, and nowhere near slutty. It was perfect actually. According to Elsa at least. Just the right amount of cleavage and legs. Anna's legs surely was a sight for the gods.

Astrid followed Elsa's gaze, and smirked knowingly. That is, at least, until Elsa handed Astrid her drink, and disappeared onto the dance floor. Before Astrid could object, Elsa was swallowed by the massive crowd. As she came closer, Anna noticed her right away.

The redhead didn't pay her much attention however, as she just kept moving her body to the beat. Just as Elsa thought she couldn't get any more sexy, she just had to wiggle her rear just the right way.

"We should dance," Elsa yelled to overpower the music.

Anna kept dancing, working her hips, as Elsa watched.

"And why is that?"

The redhead looked at Elsa with lazy eyes, but with a glint of… mischief?

"Because it would look good. We would make everyone in the club jealous," Elsa argued.

Anna couldn't help but smile. Maybe it was the three margaritas she had consumed not too long ago, or just because she was in a better mood than she had been the last two days, but the smile surely tugged on her lips, which also made Elsa smile.

Elsa took it as an invitation, cautiously moving closer to the girl. Soon their bodies were up close, and Elsa rested her hands on Anna's hips. The mass of people only grew thicker, and the surrounding people took up so much space, resulting in Anna and Elsa only being pushed closer and closer together. Elsa could feel Anna's breath on her neck, which only made Elsa want to hold the redhead closer.

A pearl of sweat rolled from Elsa's forehead, and she couldn't tell if it was the heat or if it was Anna who had her heart beating so hard it nearly ripped her ribcage open. The air was thick, and kind of had a claustrophobic effect to the blonde, and so she clutched Anna even tighter. All these people grinding against them was suddenly too much, and the only thing calming her was Anna's teal eyes staring back into hers. She didn't know how long they stood there, hours? Minutes? Seconds? The concept of time had vanished.

It was scary really, that Anna had such an effect on Elsa. Like she was gravity, and Elsa was slowly drifting away, but Anna was the only thing holding her back. This really shouldn't be the case, because it surely had been eight years since she saw Anna last, and no one but Astrid had managed to have such a calming effect on the blonde.

When an arm suddenly snatched Anna out of Elsa's grasp, she felt lost. A tall blonde with a pink ribbon in her hair stood and sent Elsa a glare that could kill. The redhead didn't seem to object, but her eyes quickly grew apologetic. The girl with the pink ribbon draped an arm protectively over Anna, and dragged her away. Elsa was left stranded on the dance floor, people grossly grabbing and touching her.

It was all too much.

She couldn't breathe in the thick air any longer. She stood, rubbing her temples, shutting her eyes, and wishing herself away before the anxiety would swallow her completely. Why had she come here? Why had she left Astrid when she had clearly instructed her not to do so? Elsa had been so certain she could have handled it. But clearly she couldn't. It wasn't the massive crowd that was the problem. It was the people. The people grabbing and touching and feeling her. She couldn't take the hands that kept sweeping over body, as if she wouldn't notice.

Unfamiliar and unwanted touch was simply a thing Elsa couldn't handle. Not anymore.

She felt a cool touch around her wrist, and she was pulled out of the crowd with a striking force. In a matter of seconds, Elsa could breathe in the cool night air. She stood hunched over, hands on her knees, on the sidewalk outside the club.

"I told you not to get lost," Astrid scolded. "And what the hell were you doing with Anna?"

What _had_ she been doing with Anna? Why the sudden interest in the girl she had hurt so many years ago? It hadn't really occurred to her yet that she had just initiated a dance with Anna, and Anna had accepted. It was impossible to recall what had run through her mind as she had crossed the floor to get to the girl.

"Do you want me to follow you home?" Her partner asked, voice now full of concern instead of annoyance. Elsa looked up and took a deep breath.

"No it's alright. Just give me some cab fare, I'll be fine."

Astrid dug into her purse and handed Elsa the exact money that would get her from the club and home.

"Text me when you get home," Astrid ordered.

Elsa entered the cab, and waved a hand over her head as a goodbye.

"Don't forget!" Astrid yelled as the car door shut.


	4. Talk To Me

**Chapter 4 – Talk to me**

**Warning/Heads up: **_Some_ angst.

* * *

Her pale fingers traced over the smooth fabric as she walked around the bed. The walls were so white. Before sitting down, she placed the freshly bought sunflowers in the vase by the nightstand. The others had withered away since her last visit.

The reassuring beeping of the life-supporter was the only thing that broke the silence. Elsa sat down next to the bed. Carefully, she snatched the patient's hand. It was completely limp and lifeless.

"Hey, Mom," she spoke, caressing the unconscious woman's hand with her thumb.

"I've… really missed you this week," she started.

She looked over, just to check that the door was shut firmly. Her voice was shaky, and she would hate for anyone to hear. She would hate for anyone to walk in on her when she was this vulnerable.

"Things have been… difficult lately. Maybe it's because I know he's out now… I don't know… Maybe it's just the thought that it's been four years…"

Elsa was waiting for a response she knew she was never going to get, but still. She waited just in case. Just in case, the woman lying in front of her should suddenly open her eyes, and look at her. In case she would open her mouth, despite the tube stuck down her throat, and say something. Anything.

"I ran into Anna," Elsa began after the slight pause; she felt a tiny tug on her lips. "She's still rather beautiful. She hasn't changed much since high school, same temper and all." Elsa smiled to herself. "She's this hot-shot business woman now. She really made something of herself. Guess she couldn't get out of Arendelle fast enough, huh? Kind of like us…"

She leaned forward and stroked her mother's forehead. The brown bangs were swept away from her face for just a second, for then to fall back into place. Her skin looked even paler than Elsa's at this moment. It wasn't always this way. Elsa remembered when she was younger how her mother would always get tanned in the summer. Something that Elsa never could, no matter how hard she tried. She huffed out a breath of air when she thought about the family vacations where Elsa had returned as red as a tomato.

"Something is different about her though…," Elsa looked at the beeping monitor and then back at her mom, "I can't really put my finger on it. There's just something about her… she's just so…beautiful a-and..."

A tear rolled down her cheek. The words were lost.

"I… I just can't seem to let her in… Even Astrid seems distant to me lately. I mean, _Astrid_. The same Astrid you and I both know and love."

Another tear escaped and landed on the bed.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, Mom… I was doing so well and now…"

Sobs took over now, shaking the younger girls' shoulders.

"I just really need you right now," she cried.

The woman in front of her displayed no sign of life besides her steady breathing. But even that was artificial.

"Mom, say something…. please," Elsa cried.

Silence.

"Say something!" She screamed, and when nothing happened, she cried even harder.

Elsa didn't hear the nurse entering the room as she had buried her face in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. She barely even noticed the comforting hand resting on her back, rubbing up and down, as a voice shushed her soothingly.

"It's okay, Dear. We won't lose hope," the nurse said.

Elsa looked up, recognizing Gerda, her mother's nurse. She had watched over her ever since the accident. It had been years, and Gerda had grown used to Elsa's weekly visits. First, she had visited her mother every day, but Gerda had seen how the life was slowly drained out of the girl. The heavy bags under her eyes, the unhealthy pale, almost grey complexion she had possessed. It wasn't long until Gerda prohibited Elsa in coming so often. She was more like a zombie than a human being in the end.

It was now rare that she broke down like this. But everyone has their ups and downs in life, and Elsa was currently in a downwards spiral. A spiral that didn't seem to end really.

"We won't lose hope," she repeated as Elsa cried even harder.

* * *

"What even happened on that dance floor?!" Merida said, trying her best not to yell out the words.

The three of them were sitting on the couch, all slightly hung-over except for Merida who still seemed to be kind of drunk.

"Could you please stop yelling?" Anna mumbled, rubbing her forehead.

Her head was throbbing, threatening to explode any second. She popped two aspirin, and gulped them down with a glass of water. Marie was half-passed out on the couch, her legs resting over Anna's knees and head in Merida's lap. None of them had bothered to remove their make-up last night, leaving all three looking like raccoons with all that mascara smeared out on the faces.

"Yeah, what happened to you? That girl was all over you, and you just let her. I mean, seriously, Anna. You don't even kiss on the first date, let alone dry-hump someone in the middle of the dance floor," Marie mumbled.

She had slung one arm over her face, resting her forearm on her forehead. Anna leaned back, resting an elbow on the armrest of the couch. She cleared her throat, and stared down her lap for a second.

"I wasn't dry-humping her," Anna said annoyed. "And… Um, that, er, was Elsa," she whispered shyly.

For the first time that morning, Merida actually shut up. Marie opened her eyes wide.

"What!?" They both exclaimed simultaneously, breaking the silence.

Anna's head still hurt, and she dropped her head into her palm.

"I know, I know, you don't have to say it," the freckled girl said, as she received judgmental stares from her friends. "I was drunk, and I don't know what came over me. Suddenly she was just _there_. I don't even know what she was doing there. I mean, what're the chances of us even running into each other!? And then she just stood there with her friggin' charming smile, and those charming blue eyes, and adorable nose, asking me to dance-"

"Whoa! Calm down, Darling," Marie said.

The blonde now sat up, leaning closer to Anna.

"Take a deep breath with me, come on now," and together they inhaled and exhaled a few times until Anna visibly relaxed.

"Alright, now, why did you agree to dance with her again?" Marie asked calmly.

Anna fell silent. She tried opening her mouth, but soon shut it again. Why _had_ she agreed to let Elsa in like that? Being drunk wasn't an excuse, after all, drunk people tend go for the things they want. Often that is when the truth is revealed. Kids and drunk people, those are the kind of people you should believe in.

"I don't know… it's just been so long since I've seen her," Anna mumbled, clearly not able to determine what had her mind screaming Elsa's name every five seconds.

"Do you still have feelings for her?" Marie then asked.

That question caught Anna with her pants down. It was sure to say that she had had no type of closure with the blonde, and that may have left its marks. She wouldn't exactly have said she was 'in love' with Elsa back then. She obviously cared for the girl. The word 'crush' seemed to be the word she was looking for, but at the same time, she knew it had been more than a crush. Perhaps it had been the in-between of 'in love' and having a crush. Yes, that was it.

"I don't know," was her final answer. It wasn't a no, but it definitely wasn't a yes either.

"Did you enjoy it?" Marie asked.

Anna's head was about to explode from all the questions bombarded at her.

"I think so," she said.

She _had_ enjoyed it. Elsa's touch had seemed familiar in a sense. But at the same time she hated herself for opening that door again. Opening the door that she knew the blonde had misused once before.

Elsa didn't deserve Anna. Anna knew that. The blonde had walked all over her one too many times, and she had to put her foot down. Now was different though. Back then, Anna would have agreed to almost anything the senior would have suggested.

"Would you be able to trust her again?" Marie's voice was calm and clear.

"Hell no! How could she trust that bitch after what she did to Anna?!" Merida was sitting on her knees now, fighting the urge to punch something out of anger on Anna's behalf. Marie simply placed her entire palm on Merida's face, and pushed her off the couch.

"I wasn't asking you. I was asking Anna," the blue-eyed girl said in a motherly tone.

All eyes were on Anna again. Merida looked up at her from the floor. She was rubbing her back, muttering something nasty about Marie under her breath.

"I…" Anna was conflicted. She couldn't take a standpoint on Elsa. One thing was clear though. She didn't trust Elsa. Not with a single fiber of her being. "No. I don't think I would be able to trust her again."

Merida went to the kitchen, still rubbing her sore back, while she made it very clear that she wasn't going to make breakfast for Marie until she had apologized. Marie shrugged, still focused on Anna. That's what Anna loved about Marie, she always took her seriously when she needed her to.

They both sat in a comfortable silence while listening to Merida grab pots and pans in the kitchen. If there was one thing that girl was, it was loud.

Anna found herself smiling a little bit when she thought back to the way Elsa had looked at her the night before.

"You know…," Anna said gently, "when we were dancing… Elsa gave me this look. She was kind of looking at me like I was the only person on the planet."

Saying it aloud only made Anna's smile broaden.

"Hey, for all its worth, you got hella' good taste," Marie said with a wink. That made Anna laugh. She had almost let her rage toward Elsa outshine her beauty.

"Did she ever explain why she left? Why she didn't call?" Her friend asked, genuinely curious.

The auburn haired girl merely shook her head.

"No, she didn't," Anna leaned her head back, "I mean, I knew she was eager to get out of Arendelle. I just figured she got up and left, and didn't think twice about looking back. Hell, I'm not even sure if her family is still even there. I know my parents are, but we never talked much to the Christiansons. I remember meeting her mom once or twice, she seemed nice – too nice to have a rebellious kid like Elsa really. Not that she was rebellious per sae. She just had this attitude. Like, she would walk into a room, and pretend like she owned it, you know? But when we were together, on rare occasions, she would just drop that whole façade."

Marie sat and nodded, listening to Anna pour her heart out. She went on about how they had flirted in the hallways, and how Elsa would always wait for her outside of class. How Elsa had given Anna her first kiss, but assured her that they didn't need to rush on the sex part.

But every time Anna had asked what they were, Elsa had always responded with 'I don't do relationships.' Not that Anna hadn't pushed upon the matter, but in the end she was scared she might drive the senior away with her constant nagging.

Finally, at Elsa's graduation party, Anna had agreed to give herself to Elsa. It wasn't particularly because she had wanted to. She mostly felt like she was running out of time with Elsa, and it needed to be now or never. The sex had been amazing however. Elsa was gentle and sweet, but afterwards she had seemed so… distant.

Marie and Anna were interrupted when they heard a knock on the door. Anna got up, dragging her feet across the floor, her head felt heavy. Sven's happy face appeared as Anna opened the door. He held up a bag of donuts and was holding a tray with four coffees.

"Oh, Sven, what would I do without you?" The redhead sang. The man laughed, wiping his shoes before entering.

A loud clang from the kitchen sounded, and out stormed a hyper redhead. She walked straight to Sven, snatched the bag from his hand and grabbed a coffee.

"Oh thank goodness. I can't cook anyway," Merida belted, and flopped onto the couch.

"Always a charmer I see," Sven remarked, and took a seat in one of the chairs around the coffee table.

They all sat for a moment and chatted. Marie updated Sven on the prior night's events, and Sven gasped loudly as he heard about the 'grinding' as Marie put it. Anna's cheeks were as red as a firetruck as the two discussed the Elsa-situation to death.

That's when Anna was thankful for Merida, who had occupied an entire couch. The loud girl never took anything too seriously. Anna got up, as the two kept gossiping, and sat on Merida stomach.

"Gimme," she demanded.

Merida groaned, but handed Anna the bag of donuts. She chose the extra chocolaty treat with colorful sprinkles. Her and Merida managed to finish the whole bag and fall asleep on the couch.


	5. Words as Weapons

**Chapter 5 – Words as weapons**

It was Monday morning and Elsa had been awake for hours already. She poured herself another cup of coffee, soothing her nerves, as she read through a few documents related to the project. Her eyes darted from line to line, absorbing as much information as she possibly could.

A granola bar hung from the corner of her mouth. She really needed to start cooking, or at least hire someone who could cook, because a granola bar could hardly pass for a meal. At least not when you were in your late twenties.

The clock stroke seven thirty when she got up and packed her bag. Elsa had asked if she could make use of her new work place's gym facilities, and was happily accepted as a member of the Frost &amp; Co. Gym free of charge. Not that she didn't have a personal gym in her way too large apartment, but as Astrid had said, she really needed to get out more. At least now, she could kill a couple of hours in the gym after work before retrieving to her personal cave and order take-out.

The day progressed slowly, and was dreadfully long, especially with the looks she received from Anna. For once, she couldn't read the girl. Was she still angry with her from their last encounter?

Elsa knew she was giving the redhead a hard time, but that's what she did. It was like a defense mechanism that just kicked in automatically whenever Anna approached her. She could deflect with sarcasm, and turn the conversation completely around, much to Anna's dislike.

There was a reason for this of course. The reason was that Anna was just like Astrid in that way. She would be able to read Elsa like an open book if she let her guards down. The difference between Astrid and Anna though, was that Astrid had no restrictions of how far she was willing to go to break the walls Elsa had set up. Anna at least had a sense of decency, and understood privacy and personal space.

Astrid had always been highly protective of Elsa, or Bambi, which Astrid preferred. They met freshmen year in college, and followed each other all the way up to senior year, where they decided to go into business together.

And with the right amount of pushing and consistency, Astrid had ripped Elsa's walls down. She stood by her when things had been tough, and didn't hesitate in putting a lot of Elsa's heavy burdens on her shoulders. That's just how Astrid was. A fighter, and a true friend.

So, when Elsa arrived at work with heavy bags under her eyes, no wonder why Astrid's protective instincts kicked in. After their last meeting of the day, Astrid pulled her aside, only slightly out of reach from her other coworkers.

"You alright, Bambi? You seem a bit quiet today… well, more quiet than usual that is," Astrid insisted.

_Please, Astrid, don't use that name in front of Anna…_ Elsa thought, and shot a worried glance towards the redhead. She was looking at them, her eyebrows knitted together. Elsa crossed her arms over her chest, not wanting to meet Astrid's gaze.

"I'm fine, just… didn't get much sleep last night."

"Oh right… yesterday was Sunday," Astrid mumbled.

She knew Elsa always visited her mom on Sundays. On rare occasions, she would join her partner, and wait outside until she was done. Astrid was thankful when she found out that the nurse, Gerda, was keeping an eye on Elsa for her when she wasn't there.

"Did something happen?" She persisted.

Normally Elsa would be drained after said visit, but not this drained. It had been months since she had come to work so sleep deprived.

"Nope, same old, same old," Elsa replied completely nonchalant and was about to walk away. Astrid grabbed her arm, before she got a chance to slip past her.

"Don't do that, Elsa," Astrid said, "don't pretend like you're fine when you're not."

Her grip didn't loosen, and they had started to evoke their co-worker's attention.

"I'm fine Astrid. Really," Elsa said quietly, trying to ignore the glances she received.

"You would tell me if something was up, right? You haven't, you know…?" Astrid lowered her voice, fighting to catch Elsa's gaze.

The question had Elsa look up though; suddenly scared her friend might start making assumptions.

"Of course I would. And no, I haven't. Don't worry, everything's fine," Elsa managed a half smile, surely not convincing Astrid.

Astrid huffed a breath of air upwards, trying to get the bangs out her vision field, but as always, they fell right back in place. Her smile was kind, but eyes still wary as she read Elsa.

"Is everything alright over here?" A voice asked, breaking the tension between the old friends.

They both looked over, and there Anna stood. She had sounded genuinely worried, but when her eyes met Elsa's, her gaze fell, and she focused primarily on Astrid.

"We're fine, just discussing a few things. Anything we can do for you?" Astrid asked in her best business voice.

Always quick with words that one. Her words shifted Anna's attention completely, who was surprised by the offered service. She hadn't expected Elsa's friend to be as friendly, as she was sure Elsa had filled her in on the strained nature of their relationship.

"Actually yes. I would like the report finished and on my desk by tomorrow morning." She saw an opportunity, and she took it. Since she offered, now she didn't have to fill out that stupid report. Oh, how Anna loved her job sometimes.

"I'll get right on it," Astrid announced, and shot Elsa a final look before leaving the two to type up the report.

Anna and Elsa stood in awkward silence for a moment. They hadn't spoken since that night at the club, which in Elsa's opinion, had ended rather abruptly. Honestly, she was confused on where they stood. That is, until Anna broke the gaze, and walked away without a word. Surely, the girl wasn't completely over Elsa's presence yet.

* * *

The earphones were tugged deeply into Elsa's ears as the newest _Avicii_ song was blasting from the tiny speakers. A heavy layer of sweat had settled upon her skin, and her heart was beating fast. There were no one else in the gym, and Elsa wondered why. Perhaps people here didn't want to spend their Friday afternoons after office hours in the gym. They probably wanted to get home to their families, and sit around the dinner table together and have a nice family dinner.

Out of breath, she threw the jumping rope aside, and hunched over trying to make the air reach her lungs. When she looked up again, she was met by her own reflection in the large mirror. She was wearing black shorts, nearly leaving her long pale legs fully exposed. Her running shoes were worn-out, and it was probably time to invest in a new pair. She just hadn't gotten around to it. She was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt, with wide opening at the sides, exposing a vivid layer of pale white skin and part of her sports bra. Honestly, a trash bag could have showed her curves better than that offensive piece of clothing, but this was the gym, and according to Elsa, not the place to pick up girls.

The song was nearly over, and it fell quiet for a couple of second before the next came on. Meanwhile, Elsa heard a door opening behind her, and instead of turning around, she used the mirror in front of her to see who had just entered.

"No," a voice immediately said.

It was a wasn't a question, or an expression of disbelief… it sounded more as a command really. Anna stood in the door opening, wearing tight yoga pants accompanied by a purple tank top. A towel was draped over her shoulder, and she was holding a water bottle.

"Excuse me?" Elsa said, now turning around to meet Anna's gaze directly.

"No, Elsa, you don't get to do this."

Anna words were harsh. The redhead took a few steps forward, her hand clenched tightly around her water bottle.

"Do what?" The blonde asked, utterly baffled by the words that left Anna's mouth.

"_You_ don't get to this!"

"I'm sorry, I'm confused."

The expression on Anna's face could easily be interpreted as 'fed up.' However, fed up with what exactly Elsa didn't know, but she was sure Anna would enlighten her in a few seconds anyway.

"You don't get to bump into me at a club, and then be all over me! You don't get be here, in this gym! It's like…like…," Anna let out a displeased groan. "It's like you are invading my entire life, Elsa! You just waltz in here, and, and, you're just everywhere!"

Elsa didn't know what to say. Honestly, it wasn't her fault that they had run into each other at the club, that was just pure coincidence, and bad luck on Anna's behalf. It may have been poor decision skills to walk up and ask for a dance, but Anna had agreed, hadn't she? Thinking back now, those weren't her exact words, but she hadn't seemed to mind Elsa's company on the dance floor.

"So… you own the gym now?" The blonde challenged.

_Why do you have to be like this, Elsa? The girl is right, you pretty much just waltzed back into her life without warning, she's still processing. Even if you two just did survive a week together._

Anna groaned again, thinking it was typical Elsa to ask such ridiculous questions. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"No, I'm usually just alone here on Fridays," the redhead sighed, clearly all out of hope.

The room was quiet, only the faint muffled sound of Elsa's music blasting from her earphone broke the silence.

"Why are you here, Elsa?" Anna then asked, folding her arms over her chest, and balancing all her weight on one leg, popping out her hip.

"Um… to work out?"

Anna sighed again.

"No, I mean, why are you here? In New York? What happened to you? You just disappeared, left without a word, I never saw or heard from you since! I mean, you owe me an explanation, that's the least you can do."

Elsa had no desire in digging back into her past. The past should remain in the past. She definitely didn't want to relive it by explaining it to Anna. The redhead was tapping her foot by now, and Elsa panicked. And when Elsa panics, she does what she always does. Puts up a barrier, or deflects with humor. But this time was different. See, this time she actually had the audacity to sound offended by Anna's request – a request she fully deserved to have fulfilled.

"Why?" Was the only word uttered from Elsa's bitter lips.

That was her one word to Anna.

And with that, Anna saw red.

"_Why_? Because you fucking took my virginity, and filled me with empty promises! You manipulated me! Elsa, you treated me like shit, and fucked me over, and left me to rot – and now you stand there, and ask me why! You're seriously fucked up."

"Can't argue with that," Elsa said, and gave her a shrug. That just managed to make things worse.

"Do you have any idea what your little stunt did to my self-confidence?! I haven't slept with another woman since!"

Anna's cheeks turned red as she realized what she had just confessed. Elsa was left dumbfounded, really not expecting such matters to be brought up.

"Wait…so you haven't… _you know_….since?"

Anna's eyes widened, goodness, what had she gotten herself into?

"I said _woman_ – but that's none of your business anyway!"

_Way to go Albright, that'll show 'er._

Anna couldn't figure out whether Elsa was trying to suppress a smile, or was just feeling awkward about the whole situation.

"Look," Anna said, "I'm trying really hard not to hate you… too much. All I'm asking is that you back off, you understand that? You had your chance, and I've moved on."

The hurt in Elsa's eyes weren't to mistake. For a second, the Elsa she had fallen for back in school had resurfaced. But soon the hurt was gone, and instead a smirk spread across her face. The blonde quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh is that so?"

The older woman took a step forward, their bodies were mere centimeters apart, but still not touching. Anna was about to take a step back, but a hand on her hip stopped her.

"So, who's the lucky guy?" Elsa asked seductively, trying to make her voice as sexy as possible, as her mouth drew closer to Anna's ear. The redhead shuddered.

"N-no one, I don't have a boyfriend," Anna gulped loudly, and Elsa knew she had her exactly where she wanted.

The blonde slowly, very slowly, rested her lips upon Anna's earlobe, merely grazing the sensitive skin. Her blue eyes grew dark with lust, and she couldn't deny that she wanted Anna. Gods know how long it had been since she'd had such close contact to another person. It was like her primal instincts took over, and she was lusting for the redhead in her arms.

She had long abandoned the feelings that went along with such intimate actions. She didn't allow herself the pleasure of closeness, or that beautiful connection two people could create. No, the closest she'd ever come to that, was with Anna back then, by the edge of the forest in her blue Volvo.

"Great… because I remember we used to do pretty good," she muttered over Anna's skin.

Anna finally came to her senses, and pushed the blonde away with all her force. Elsa nearly went tumbling, but managed to stay upright.

"Don't make me slap you again," Anna warned as she raised a finger at her.

Anna was about to pick up her things and leave when Elsa spoke.

"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it, Snowflake," she grinned.

"No, Elsa, I actually haven't. Because unlike you, I'm a person with feelings!"

Her words didn't even sting. Elsa knew they were true, but they didn't touch her much. She was used to it. So far, Astrid was the only person who'd ever broken those walls. Her, and her mother.

Anna stormed out of the gym, completely neglecting her workout. She was furious, and could barely muster holding back a loud unattractive groan.

Elsa stood, looking after the redhead. Then she plugged her headphones in, and reached for the jumping rope.


	6. Thank God for Pasta

**Chapter 6 – Thank God for Pasta**

"She did _what_?!" Merida exclaimed at an ear-deafening volume.

"Relax, nothing happened," Anna assured her.

Merida was sitting on the back of the couch with her feet up on the cushions. Marie was in the kitchen, cooking supper while she listened to the two redheads argued in the living room.

"How_ dare_ she?! I'm going to come with you to work tomorrow and kick her face in!" Merida practically yelled at the top of her lungs while raising herself to a standing position, carefully balancing herself on the couch cushions.

Anna pulled Merida's arm, unsuccessfully trying to make her friend sit back down.

"You will do no such thing. Elsa was just being Elsa, and besides, she was right."

Anna started undoing her twin braids. She had just arrived back home, after her unpleasant (mildly put) encounter with Elsa at the gym.

"So you _have_ thought about her?" Marie asked from the kitchen, quirking an eyebrow and giving Anna a wink.

"Of course I have! I mean, have you seen her!? She pretty much screams sexy!" Anna fell back on the couch, looking towards the ceiling. "But I won't of course. I'm not going to sleep with her," Anna concluded, though with a hidden dash of uncertainty lingering subtlety in the tone of her voice.

"Why not?" Marie asked as she stirred the pasta.

"What do you mean 'why not'?! Did you not hear anything Anna just said?!" Merida was getting protective now.

"Of course I did. But seriously, Anna, how long has it been?" Marie walked out of the kitchen with a glass of wine in her hand. Then she slumped down on the couch next to the two redheads and looked at Anna with a serious gaze.

Anna cleared her throat, trying not to look Marie in the eye.

"A while…," she mumbled. "But you don't understand! I'm not going to give her the satisfaction! If I give in, she's going to win!" The redhead blurted.

"Alright, alright, I see where you're coming from. As of right now, Elsa's isn't my favorite person either. But, Anna, I really think you need to relax, and get your mind off of Elsa."

Merida swooped in now, a wicked grin on her face.

"What Marie really is trying to say, is that you need to get laid."

It was quiet between the three girls for a second, and then Merida and Marie bursted out laughing. Anna's cheeks were on fire. Maybe it _had_ been a while since she'd been intimate with someone, but that didn't mean that Anna should get intimate with just anyone. There was so much she needed to consider before jumping into bed with someone. Anna had to think all the time, consider everything before taking action, an annoying and limiting trait that held Anna back in many situations. Who knew, maybe it had been a result of Elsa's broken promises.

"Aw, look how she's blushing," Marie said and pinched Anna's cheek.

The redhead swatted her hand away, and went to the kitchen to make herself a plate of food. It smelled delicious. Anna grabbed a fork, and decided to abandon the plate. She muttered quietly to herself, sinking the fork into the dish.

"Stupid work… stupid friends… stupid Elsa – thank God I have you, pasta," she as she dug in right from the bowl.

* * *

It had been three weeks since Astrid and Elsa had joined Frost and Co. The project was well under construction, and everything was going as according to plan. The two partners spent many late nights at the office to get it all to fit together.

"So, how's it going with Anna?" Astrid asked one night as they were going over the budget.

Elsa ruffled with some papers on the table. Her mind was in work-mode, so it took some time for her to comprehend the question.

"Fine, I guess. Why do you ask?" Elsa uttered in a curious voice.

She rubbed her eyes, and leaned back into her seat, eyeing the blonde across from her. Astrid looked good in the dim light shed from the work-lamp on the table, her pale skin adapting a more golden hue.

Not that Elsa was attracted to her friend that way, not at all in fact. Elsa had never viewed Astrid than more than a friend. She knew she was straight, and respected it. It would be a lie to say Elsa hadn't thought about experimenting in college, but she respected Astrid too much, and cared too much for her as a friend to risk anything.

Astrid had gone through her fair share of heartaches, which had given Elsa the opportunity to repay her in a way. But Astrid wasn't the type of girl who would cry on your shoulder, and let you tell her everything was going to be okay. She was the type of person who you went to a bar and played darts with, whereas you'd provide a picture of her recent ex, and place it on the dartboard. And when she had drank her sorrows away, you would carry her home, and put her to bed.

"No reason, she just still seems pretty pissed at you." Astrid made a few notes on her paper while talking.

"Can't blame her," Elsa mumbled, mostly to herself, but Astrid heard.

"Well, are you going do anything about it? _Besides_ making it worse. I mean, that little stunt in the gym wasn't one of your smartest moves. Even I can tell Anna isn't the type of person you just fuck, and then all her sorrows goes away," she finished, and looked Elsa in the eye.

It was a sisterly gaze. The two knew each other well enough to call each other out on their bullshit. And Astrid was the type of person who didn't hold anything back.

"I…," Elsa started, "I don't know what to do. Every time I try to talk to her, I end up being a complete asshole. I mean, it's fun teasing her, I admit it. But I can't seem to get her to stop being pissed at me."

"Well, have you tried apologizing?"

Elsa hadn't thought of that one. It was rather obvious now that Astrid mentioned it. She actually never apologized for being a jackass in high school. Elsa understood the sudden invasion of space Anna felt, but what could she do? They were co-workers now, and surely, there had to be room for both of them.

"No…."

Astrid rolled her eyes.

"See, that would be a start, genius."

Elsa sat for a moment, letting it all sink in. Then she shifted in her chair, and reached for her glass of water. As she drank, Astrid raised her eyes from the papers again.

"You going to the hospital on Sunday?" She asked. Elsa nodded, putting the glass down. "Do you want me to come with you?" Her tone of voice was gentle. Elsa simply shrugged.

"If you want to," the platinum blonde said, which Astrid knew was Elsa for yes.

They both kept working in silence the remainder of the night.

* * *

Anna walked over to Sven's desk and threw a stack of papers in front of him.

"What's this?" She asked, trying to sound overbearing, but didn't succeed too well.

"Those are the files you wanted," Sven said confused. He looked them over just to make sure he hadn't mistaken, but found nothing wrong with the pile.

"Yes, but why does it say we unsubscribed our safety procedures for the first two trials?" Anna didn't miss a beat. She pointed a finger towards the offensive pile of paper in front of the man.

"Because that's what had been decided…?" Sven tried, unsure of how to respond.

"But the insurance won't cover it if we don't follow protocol," the redhead said in disbelief.

She was tempted to run her hands through her hair, but that would ruin her braids, and would mean that she would have to go redo them in the bathroom. Instead, she took a step back, and rested a hand on her hip. Without realizing it, she was biting her thumb.

"Too late, it's already sent off to the administrators," the man announced, now rising from his seat to walk around his desk. The redhead was frustrated, but there wasn't much he could do about it, unfortunately.

"Who made this decision without me?" Anna already knew the answer to her question, but refused to believe it.

"Elsa was the one who gave me the files, so I'm guessing her?"

"Of course it was Elsa," she growled and set off towards the elevator.

She knew where Elsa was at this time a day. Anna was working overtime to meet deadlines, and she knew Elsa had left about an hour ago. The office was nearly empty, apart from her and Sven.

"I seriously can't believe I have to babysit for the two of them," she mumbled angrily to herself as she stood in the elevator, arms folded over her chest, impatiently tapping her foot. She pushed the doors open to the gym, and sure enough, there Elsa stood – or laid that is. Elsa was on her back, a workout mat separating her from the floor.

As soon as she saw the fuming redhead, she sat up and removed her headphones. There she sat, with her legs bend, resting her elbows on each of her pale knees.

"Anna, what a pleasant surprise, how may I be at your servi-"

"Drop the sweet-talk, Elsa. I'm furious."

Elsa's face expressed confusion for a mere second, before putting on her stone-face. Honestly, she did not have the faintest idea of what was upsetting the younger girl. She got to her feet, and took a step closer. Anna instinctively stood her ground, but secretly wished to take a step backwards, just in case the blonde decided to get handsy again.

"Is it you who's been messing with the budget?" Her voice was firm, accusing even.

Anna shoved the files into Elsa's chest, not caring that the blonde was obviously sweaty. While Elsa read, Anna couldn't help but steal a quick glance up and down her sweaty body. Elsa was wearing another sleeveless top, revealing those toned arms of hers. The holes for the arms cut deep, revealing much exposed skin, to Anna's secret pleasure. She could see the tiny curve of Elsa's hips, and parts of her ribcage. Thinking about it, it seemed as if the blonde had lost quite a few pounds over the past three weeks. Or maybe it was just the increase in muscle mass? Whatever it was, Anna couldn't seem to stop staring.

_Jesus Christ, stop eye-fucking her, Anna! Act professional._

Elsa looked up from the papers, and handed them back to Anna.

"Yup, that was me," she stated arrogantly. Anna couldn't believe her own ears.

"What the fuck, Elsa?" _So much for being professional, _the redhead scolded internally. "You can't just go behind my back and make major decisions like this without me!"

The blonde smiled, suppressing the urge to even giggle a little. It was different to see her high school crush in such a leader role. A good different she might add. Anna sure had changed over the years. But deep down, Elsa saw the same old Anna. The caring and gentle person who got giggle fits whenever you touched her toes. The stubborn and overly excited girl who refused to borrow Elsa's coat, even though she was teeth chatteringly cold on a bitter December afternoon behind the dumpsters at school where they had made out for the first time.

Elsa knew Anna. Probably more than the redhead thought she did. Another thing she knew, was herself. She knew how dedicated she was to her job, and wouldn't screw things up for herself. She took pride in her work.

"Look, I'm good at my job. I know what I'm doing, and so does Astrid. You hired us to improve your business, so please just let us do our job."

Elsa nearly sounded offended. Anna, however, didn't buy it.

"I thought we agreed to act professional."

"I _am_ acting professional. This is my job, Anna," for once, she wasn't using her teasing voice.

"Can't you just admit you made it personal?! You're trying to punish me, which is completely ridiculous, because in reality, I should be the one punishing you!"

Elsa didn't know how to respond. She was conflicted, knowing there was probably no way of convincing the girl that she hadn't meant anything personal by her actions. Maybe she should apologize, and hope that would soothe things over. Instead, Elsa did what she always did when it came to Anna.

"You would like that wouldn't you?" Elsa joked, as she quirked and eyebrow, giving a seductive wink.

Anna hands curled into fists, wrinkling the papers in her tight grip. That is, until she launched the bundle of papers at Elsa's head. The blonde ducked just in time, just to hear the stack of papers hit the mirror behind her, and bounce back.

"You're unbelievable!" The redhead sneered. "I can't believe I ever had feelings for you." She almost sounded disgusted.

Elsa couldn't deny she was hurt by her statement.

"I guess we all come to our senses at some point," she muttered in return.

The two stood, exchanging angry gazes, until Anna turned around on her heels, and walked towards the elevator.

"Wait…, Anna," Elsa said, her voice low.

The redhead turned around, and shot a fuming look towards the blonde.

"I …. I …," she stuttered, almost too quiet for Anna to hear.

'_I'm sorry.' Just say it, Elsa! Just tell her you're sorry. Apologize for the way you've treated her. Show her you're genuinely a good person!_

But doing so would be letting Anna in, and God knows how long her walls would stand if Anna suddenly started being nice to the blonde. So, as the elevator doors opened, Anna entered without hesitating. Her eyes didn't falter from Elsa's until the doors shut.


	7. Donations

**Chapter 7 – Donations**

**Warning/Heads up: **Angst and violence.

* * *

Elsa was sitting by her mother's bedside. It was Sunday, nearly four days since the Anna-incident. The redhead had barely bestowed the blonde a look ever since their fight in the gym. Things were awkward, and complicated, and unruly, and confusing. It had nearly been too much for Elsa to handle, and she found herself even more lost than she had been last Sunday - the last time she had been sitting by her mother's side.

Elsa was secretly relieved Astrid had asked to join, even if she only stood outside. Astrid didn't want to invade the private heartfelt moment between mother and daughter, and Elsa was thankful for that.

Today was different though. Elsa didn't have anything to say, but merely sat, holding the unconscious woman's hand. She looked upon the face that once had been so full of life and joy. Her mother had been her anchor, the only consistent thing in Elsa's life. Luckily, she now had Astrid. Because without Astrid, Elsa honestly wouldn't know what would become of her. Astrid had even had the pleasure of knowing Elsa's mom. Even if it only was for brief period of time.

Her mother's doctor walked into the room, Gerda walking by his side. The nurse went through a few regular procedures, while the doctor studied her mother's chart.

"How does it look, Doc?" She asked, never taking her eyes off her mother.

Not that she expected anything but the usual information. She just thought she ought to ask – just in case. The tall man sighed heavily, scratching his bald head with the end of his pen. He then looked to Elsa, and the younger girl met his eyes. They were kind, but tired.

"Her condition isn't improving, but not getting worse either. I'm afraid I have nothing new to share with you Ms. Christianson." And those were the exact words the young blonde had been expecting.

The man edged to her side, placing himself softly leaning against the end of the bed. He clicked his pen once, before planting it in the breast pocket of his white coat.

"I actually wanted to talk to you," the doctor said, clenching the chart to his round belly.

"What about?" Elsa felt a sudden strike of unease.

It was rare the doctor approached her like this. Usually he'd just read the chart and leave, after answering the same question over and over again. She feared what to come.

"Listen, Ms. Christianson, the likelihood of your mother ever waking up is slim. I know it's hard. But even though she's here, she's not really… here. You understand?"

Elsa nodded hesitantly, not liking where this was going.

"I wanted to talk to you about organ donation. Since you're practically the only living family your mother has left, and we haven't been able to get in touch with your father, the decision rests in your hands. We usually ask family in these sorts of situations where the patient can't decide for themselves. You don't have to answer straight away." The doctor smiled, and put a comforting hand on Elsa's shoulder.

"W-wait, what?" The words had stunned Elsa.

She wasn't ready for this. It was suddenly too real.

Her mother was going to wake up.

She had to.

"I know it's difficult. But it's just to ensure we know what to do, in case things doesn't work out. I'm sure you've considered it for yourself already. Most people are very willing and open to the idea. It sure would contribute a lot, and perhaps even save a life."

For some reason Elsa didn't want him touching her shoulder anymore. His touch made her sick to her stomach as the man stood there, practically announcing her mother dead already. As if she was some piece of meat they could just slice open and take from, like a freaking organ-buffet.

"You _are_ aware that you're talking about my mother as if she is practically already dead, aren't you?" Elsa's eyes were full of hurt, and most importantly, anger.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Christianson, but we've seem to run out of options. It doesn't exactly look promising, and I would hate for you to get your hopes up. I can't promise you anything, but it's very unlikely your mother will ever wake up."

The words hit her like a train wreck. She probably knew deep down that this was the truth, but he was the first to ever say such words aloud. She could hardly contain herself as the massive wave of emotion rushed over her.

"How dare you!? It sounds like you morons have already given up! And now you're asking me if you can have her fucking organs?!" She thundered.

The man immediately lifted his hand from her shoulder, astounded by the words that had left her mouth. He took a step back, carefully choosing his words.

"T-that's not what we're asking, Ms. Christianson. We're doing everything we can, but nothing seem to work. It's not her body, it's her head. The head is not so easily fixed."

A streak of tears fell down the blonde's cheeks. Gerda tried to approach her, but in vain. Elsa had taken a step back as the nurse tried to calm her.

"So now you're just giving up!? Leaving her to die in that cold hospital bed? What the hell happened to 'don't lose hope'?!" Elsa was on her feet now, nearly knocking over the chair as she got up. "Can't you see she's going to wake up!? Don't you understand that she _needs_ to wake up!?"

As if on cue, Astrid busted through the door, the screaming having warned her about what was happening on the other side. Elsa was yelling, tears rolling down her cheeks, her arms using wild offensive gestures. Astrid rushed to her and threw her arms around the miserable woman.

At first, she seemed to fight her, angrily punching against Astrid's chest, trying to wiggle herself loose. But Astrid only held her tighter, clutching Elsa closer to her, shushing in her ear. Elsa kept fighting, sobs escaping between words.

"Don't take her away from me! She can't die, she's all I have!" She cried, as she turned around in Astrid's grip.

Astrid grabbed the girl's wrists, hugging her from behind. Elsa's back was pressed against Astrid's chest, both of them hunched over as Elsa sobbed.

"Shh, calm down, Bambi. I got you, I got you. I won't let go, I'm here," Astrid whispered.

But Elsa kept fighting, right until they both fell to their knees, Astrid's arms still around the sobbing girl.

"I'm here, it's all going to be alright, things will be fine," she whispered, even though they were empty promises.

Nothing seemed to soothe the girl though, but after a tough fight with Astrid, she finally gave up. Astrid just pulled her close, their legs tangled together. Elsa was resting her head on Astrid's chest, the tears soaking through her friend's shirt. The doctors looked at the two girls slumped down on the floor in defeat. They decided to leave them, knowing Astrid had everything under control.

Soon it was only the familiar sound of the beeping monitor, and Elsa's heavy breaths that sounded in the room. Astrid caressed the miserable girl's back. Her arms had started shaking from the amount of force she had used to calm Elsa. If Elsa kept up that gym routine of hers, Astrid wouldn't have a worthy chance of holding her back next time.

Because Astrid knew there was going to be a next time.

And next time would happen fairly soon. She had faced reality long ago.

* * *

She sat on the bar stool, shooting a quick glance towards the big screen. There was a rugby game on. The darkness had fallen upon the city of New York. It had been a while since she had last been at _The Blue Reindeer,_ the local pub close to _Central Park_. It wasn't particularly crowded that night, the bar was half full, mostly men watching rugby and downing pints in inhumane amounts. Elsa imagined it was men trying to get away from their wives.

_Can't blame those poor bastards, women are a pain in the-_

"Hey, Els. Long time no see," a voice said and interrupted her thoughts.

A large blonde man appeared behind the bar, carrying a box of god-knows-what. He placed the box on the floor, and pushed it under the bar with his foot.

"Hey, Kristoff," she replied, trying to give him a smile.

Kristoff ruffled his shaggy blonde hair before covering it up with a grey beanie. Grabbing the towel that was slung across his shoulder, and a beer jug, he walked towards her while polishing the glass until it was spotless.

"Haven't seen you here in a while. For… a couple of months really. Everything alright?" His brown eyes grew concerned.

"Just a bit overwhelmed lately, can I have a club soda please?" she answered, adjusting herself in the barstool, and placing her elbows on the bar.

"Sure thing…. Does Astrid know you're here?"

Elsa shot him a look, a look he couldn't quite place. Then she shook her head, and he understood.

"No, and she doesn't need to know. You're here anyway, so it's fine."

The tall man was honored that the girl thought of him as a safety net, but wasn't too comfortable with the situation. Astrid would kill him if anything happened to her Elsa, and Kristoff definitely didn't want the intimidating business woman on his bad side.

"Elsa, I really don't think you should be here. Not that I don't want you here, you know that… it's just…."

"Relax, Kristoff, it's all under control. I'm just having a bad day, and I needed time to think. At a familiar place. I won't fall in I swear."

"Still. You shouldn't push yourself like this. I know it can be tempting."

Kristoff placed a glass in front of her, and Elsa carefully took a sip of her drink.

"It's fine really, I'm…." Elsa stopped talking.

She saw a glint of auburn hair, and for a second, Anna entered her mind. But as the face that followed with the hair was revealed, Anna exited her mind almost as soon as she had entered.

There he stood, in his newly pressed black dress pants and a dark blue _Polo_ shirt. He had a phone pressed to his ear, and one hand buried in the pocket of his pants. The first couple of buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing a tiny thin layer of chest hair. His pointy nose had Elsa's lunch stir in her stomach. The familiar sideburns were freshly trimmed, and he was laughing, a laugh that went directly to Elsa's central nervous center and shut down all logical instincts.

Then he turned around, and looked her straight in the eye, sending her a disgustingly sly smirk.

Elsa slammed her drink down on the bar, making Kristoff jump noticeably. Before he could say anything, Elsa was on her feet.

Blinded by anger, she approached the auburn haired man. As soon as he saw her approaching, he pulled the phone away from his ear, and slipped it into his pocket.

"Well, if it isn't Elsa Christianson. What a pleasant surprise," he said cockily, gritting his teeth with a taunting smile.

"I have a restraining order," Elsa said with a firm voice, her anger barely concealed.

She felt nothing but hatred for the person in front of her. The mere look of his face made her insides bubble in fury. She wanted nothing more than to strangle him, lock her slender long fingers around his throat and squeeze it until he drew his last breath and fell lifeless to the floor.

"Hello to you too," he grinned and raised his glass to take another sip of his whisky on rocks. "You're not even going to ask me how I've been?"

"Shut up, Hans. I hope I know how you've been the last few years. I hope you've been fucking miserable. Or else nothing would be fair in this world."

"Oh, Elsa. I've been out for years already."

The blonde's heart sank to her stomach. How? He was sentenced to at least four years – not even close to the time Elsa thought he truly deserved.

"W-what?" Her voice trembled.

How was this possible? The man should've been sentenced to death for all she cared! Hans shrugged, playing the arrogant character he now was. He loved seeing Elsa squirm.

"My father pulled a few strings, and with good behavior, I was out before I knew it." He took another sip of his drink, giving a sigh of satisfaction when he put it down on the table. "And you can go to hell with your restraining order. You can't touch me now that I'm out, not if my father has a say in it at least. Wouldn't want his only heir to the firm to have a criminal record, would he now? Good thing his assistant is good at covering up tracks."

He took another sip, and sent her another poisonous smile.

"You monster," Elsa spat, "you took my mother away from me. I wish you were dead. I wish it were you in that hospital bed instead of her… it should've been you."

Hans laughed, and slugged down the remainder of his drink in one quick motion. Then he looked at her, his green eyes staring so intensely. His piercing gaze was sucking out all the faith in humanity she had left. Confirming people could be evil, and that evil indeed did exist. That evil was very real.

"Oh, Elsa, do you really think I give a fuck about your stupid mother?"

His words hung in the air. They hurt. The words ripped Elsa apart.

With that, she lost every ounce of self-control she had left, and launched a fist at Hans' face. Quickly, he side stepped, and landed a punch to her stomach that made her hunch over in pain. Before she could even catch her breath, she tackled the man, sending them both tumbling over tables and chairs. Punches were thrown sloppily from both parties, and only a few managed to collide with the other one's face.

People in the bar were cheering, rooting even. Hans seemed to have plenty of admirers amongst the crowd. Blood was flowing now, and Elsa had felt the satisfying crack of Hans' nose beneath her knuckles. He reciprocated with a hard punch to her eye.

It was so loud in the crammed space.

No one was helping.

No one was stopping it.

Kristoff stood, panicked, not capable of penetrating the human wall that deliberately had been constructed around the two. The large blonde grabbed the phone behind the bar. He did what everyone would have done. He did what he found fitting. But when the officers stormed in, he felt guilty. As if, he was a traitor. The only thing that could ease the amount of guilt he felt toward his troubled, now cuffed, friend was to swear he wouldn't tell Astrid.

And he didn't.


	8. I Dig My Hole, You Build a Wall

**Chapter 8 – I Dig My Hole, You Build a Wall**

_Title inspired by "Build That Wall" – Bastion Original Soundtrack (Zia's Theme)_

* * *

Anna had fallen into a deep slumber as soon as she had arrived home from work. Normally, she didn't work on Sundays, but the lack of trust she put in her coworkers increased her workload tremendously because of all the extra paper work she wanted to double check.

She was deep asleep when her phone suddenly started buzzing on her nightstand. Anna stirred slightly, dreading the fact that it was probably her alarm clock telling her it was time to get up and go to work yet again.

Finally, after numerous attempts to ignore the buzzing device, she reached over and grabbed the phone. To her surprise, it was three in the morning and it was an unknown caller ID trying to reach her. Normally, she would ignore such calls but for some odd reason her mind told her to answer it.

"Hello?" she mumbled groggily, yawning into the phone.

"Anna? It's me Elsa," a voice said on the other end.

Elsa sounded serious. Anna groaned loudly, leaning her head back into her pillow. She was not in the mood to play games.

"What do you want? You're aware of the time, aren't you?" Anna closed her eyes, ready to drift off once again. She nearly had, if it wasn't for what Elsa said next.

"Look, I need your help."

The tone of Elsa's voice made Anna sit up. She was suddenly very awake. Her eyes had snapped right open, and worry started to engross her. If Elsa ever asked, Anna would surely deny it, but at that very moment she was scared to death that something might have happened to Elsa.

"Is everything okay? What's going on?" she tried not to sound like she was on the verge of panic.

"I'm in jail. I need you to come and bail me out."

Anna couldn't help but be annoyed at how monotone the blonde's voice sounded. As if, it was no big deal. As if, she wasn't at the very moment locked up in a tiny cell.

"Elsa, what the hell happened?!"

"I'll explain later. Could you just do this for me?" the blonde pleaded.

It was rare Elsa asked anyone for help. She even tried restricting herself from asking Astrid. Truth was, by letting people help her, she felt even more helpless. She felt small and vulnerable. And it was no easy task to ask Anna, of all people, for help. But she couldn't think of anyone else to call. Beside Astrid, her only real other friend was Kristoff and he could barely make rent. She couldn't ask him for this, especially not after what happened in his bar.

"Why can't you just bail yourself out?" the redhead asked, now confused.

"I don't have any money."

"Now, that's a lie, Elsa. You make almost as much as I do, I'm certain."

"Look, you're right. But I don't have access to it right now."

The situation became more and more bizarre in Anna's eyes. There was no logic to anything Elsa was saying. Anna couldn't help but wonder. Jail? What could the girl have possibly done? Anna knew Elsa had a way of getting herself into trouble, especially in high school, but nothing major enough for a night locked away.

"Why didn't you call Astrid?" She asked, genuinely curious of why Elsa chose to call Anna, and not her best and closest friend. Obviously, the situation was even more complicated than Anna had previously assumed.

"Astrid can't know about this," Elsa's voice sounded hoarse and vulnerable. Her tough façade was fading, Anna could tell by the sound of her voice.

"Fine, I'll be there soon," Anna said before the call disconnected.

She grabbed a skirt from the floor and pulled over a cozy blue sweater. As she walked out the door, car keys in hand, she braided her hair into two twin braids. Before she left, however, she wrote a note and put it on the counter in case her roommates should wake up.

The streets were still full of life. People roamed on the sidewalk until she made a left turn. She parked outside the police station and exited the car with hasty strides. The fluorescent light hurt her eyes as she entered the station.

She walked to the counter, placing her hands neatly on there, while clearing her throat.

"Excuse me, I'm here to bail out Elsa Christianson."

The woman on the other side of the counter gave her a harsh stare. Anna felt anxious so suddenly. They exchanged very few words, until Anna was told to take a seat and please wait.

Elsa finally came through the double doors with a guard walking by her side. She was holding an icepack to her left eye. Her knuckles were red, ripped open. Anna couldn't help the slight gasp that escaped her lips as she saw the blonde in front of her. The redhead slapped her hands over her mouth, and stared wide-eyed.

They didn't exchange a word until they were outside of the police station. The street was empty. Their shadows were long as they stood under the streetlight. Elsa couldn't meet Anna's gaze. They stood in front of each other. Finally, Anna raised a hand towards the blonde, carefully sliding her thumb over the bruises on Elsa's face with a feather light touch. Teal eyes rested upon the cracked lip. Pale skin now contained blue spots, and Anna wished she could've unseen the expression on Elsa's face. Never had she seen her so… defeated.

Anna's hand came to rest on the blonde's cheek in an attempt to move her head up and meet Elsa's sapphire eyes. The blonde still refused, as her gaze burned holes in the dull cement under their feet.

"Elsa…," Anna quaked, "Elsa, look at me. Please."

But Elsa couldn't. She just enjoyed Anna's warm touch while it lasted.

"What happened to you?" Anna choked out.

She could hardly believe anyone would want to hurt Elsa in such foul manner. Sure, Elsa was a cocky jerk at times – but this? She definitely didn't deserve this. Elsa clearly didn't want to talk. But Anna did, and she wouldn't let the blonde go without an explanation.

"Answer me," she commanded. "Right now, Elsa."

Regretfully, Elsa tore away from Anna's touch.

"It was a mistake…." Elsa gulped. "Something just came over me….a-and I couldn't stop…I'm a monster, Anna. And you should stay away from me."

With sore muscles and heavy feet, Elsa walked away and into the dark night. Honest to say, that was a bad move on the blonde's behalf.

Anna was fed up.

Fed up by Elsa's secrecy, attitude, and self-pity.

"Don't you _fucking dare_, Elsa! You come back here _right now_ and sit your ass in that car, or so God help me, I will nail your fucking butt to the seat! And I'm going to drive you home, and we're going to fucking talk! Do you hear me?!"

The street echoed with Anna's anger-filled words. They hung in midair. You could practically pick out all the 'fucking' from the air, and put them into a tiny little swear jar next to Anna's bed. And Elsa thought _she_ had a foul mouth when she was upset.

"Why, Anna!? After all I did to you!? I was an asshole, a coward, and- hey!"

Anna had grabbed Elsa's arm and jerked her forward, practically throwing her into her car. Like Elsa had been a child Anna buckled her seat belt and slammed the door. Without a word, she got into the driver's seat and started the car.

"Where do you live?"

Elsa crossed her arms over her chest like a stubborn teenager.

"Don't make me ask twice."

With a sigh, Elsa placed an elbow by the window and uttered tiredly, "make a left here."

Too soon, they stood outside of Elsa's front door. Elsa could nearly feel the redhead's breath on her neck as she was unlocking the door. Anna had presumable predicted Elsa's plan of entering for then to slam the door before Anna had a chance to enter. Sure enough, as soon as the door opened just the tiniest, Anna slammed a hand onto its surface and pushed it open all the way.

Perhaps Elsa had been wrong about Anna according to the 'respecting privacy and having a decency-filter.' Maybe Elsa didn't know Anna that well after all?

The apartment was dark and cold. Anna shuddered as she entered. Immediately, Elsa went to the bathroom to grab a first-aid kit.

"Make yourself at home," Elsa stated without any hint of emotion.

Anna doubted that she could do such a thing. Nothing in the spacious apartment held any color or personality. There wasn't the slightest implication of coziness or anything that could establish a homely feeling. Everything was just so… _clean_.

_Maybe she has a thing about dirt?_ Anna thought to herself. Awkwardly, she placed herself neatly on the couch, careful not to wrinkle the delicate material, while waiting for Elsa's return.

Elsa returned with a red first-aid kit under her arm along with a change of shirt. Without much thought of getting blood everywhere, she sat down placing the kit and shirt on the coffee table.

"Careful, you'll get blood on your couch," Anna stated.

"It's just a couch," Elsa mumbled in return.

None of them said anything while Elsa cleaned the wounds on her knuckles. She flinched from the stinging. Anna flinched as well out of pure instinct, not enjoying seeing Elsa in pain.

Carefully, Elsa lifted up her shirt a tad and tried to reach around to clean some nasty cuts on her back. They were from wrestling around in the broken glass after she had tackled Hans. Her milky white skin had multiple cuts sprinkled across her back.

"Here, let me help you with that," Anna ordered. She grabbed the cloth from Elsa's grasp and pulled her shirt up until she revealed Elsa's bra.

Something caught her attention as she was about to clean the wounds. A large smooth long scar reaching from Elsa's ribcage to her lower back. The cut had been deep, no doubt, but had healed nicely. You could barely make out the scar, its paleness almost perfectly contrasting Elsa's white skin tone.

Without thinking, she traced a finger down the elongated scar, following the line perfectly. Goosebumps spread across the blonde's skin, and Anna looked up meeting her icy blue eyes. They were filled with hurt.

"What happened to you, Elsa?" Anna whispered, her breath nearly taken away from her, and tears threatening to spill. Clearly, a lot of things had happened since she had last seen her high school crush.

"It's a long story…," the older woman said, and got up to pull her shirt over her head.

She slapped a few bandages onto her back, and reached for the clean shirt on the table. Anna admired the gorgeous woman in front of her. The toned body had Anna's knees grow weak. The black lazed bra had warmth spread between her thighs.

"We got all night," Anna insisted, fully aware that it was already four-thirty in the morning.

There was no way of getting around this. Elsa had to tell Anna now. It was her own fault for dragging her into this. For calling her tonight. Elsa shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"I guess we might as well start at the beginning," she mumbled, and cleared her throat. "After high school, my mom and I fled Arendelle."

_Fled Arendelle? What? _Sure Anna had been eager to get away from Arendelle, but she wouldn't call it 'fled.' Anna gave her a look telling her to please continue.

The older woman sighed heavily. This was difficult. But she knew Anna would keep pushing if she stopped now. She couldn't just stop now. There was no way back.

"My dad was a military man," Elsa spoke, staring blankly into space. "He was stationed in Afghanistan for a few years…. When he returned… he… he was never the same. War had changed him. He returned with a bad case of paranoia and PTSD. Shortly after his return, he was emitted from the army." Elsa swallowed once. Her eyes suddenly became less distant as they fell to her lap. "He… he was crazy, Anna."

Elsa's hands were trembling. She tried to hide how her voice shook as she spoke, but there was nothing she could do to hide the hurt she was feeling. The guilt she was carrying.

"And there was nothing we could do about it. We couldn't get him emitted into a mental hospital. It wasn't so bad in the beginning… but slowly, he tore our family apart. My mom lived in constant verbal abuse. He would think she was a secret undercover agent plotting to kill him. There was nothing left of my dad in him. He was just gone. He was still in Afghanistan."

Elsa took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. It hurt thinking about how her dad would never be the same.

"During senior year… things got out of hand. One night he pulled a gun at my mom. He accused her of lying about who she really was… he almost pulled the trigger that night. He threatened to shoot us if we told anyone about it. So we decided to make a break for it after graduation. That's how we ended up here in New York. I haven't been back in Arendelle since. My mom called the police and turned my dad in a few days after we had settled. They are keeping him in a mental facility as far as I know."

Her words sounded strained. However, Anna didn't notice. She was too perplexed. Stunned by her newfound knowledge that Elsa hadn't left because of Anna. Though it still hurt, there was finally an explanation. And a valid one at that.

"Anyway… we came here," Elsa stated conclusively. Like that was the end of it. That this was her happy ending. Oh, if only Anna knew what was to come. "I started college, that's where I met Astrid. My mom and I shared a small apartment since I couldn't afford living at the school dorms. I didn't mind though… it was nice finally just having her. Without him," Elsa said sadly.

Anna had instinctively put a hand on Elsa's knee without being aware of it. Elsa didn't seem to mind however.

"Oh, Elsa… I'm so sorry. I had no idea…." Anna did her best to sound brave, "but I don't understand. What does that have to with tonight?" She asked softly.

This time Elsa leaned back, neglecting the stinging pain that appeared as her back met the sofa cushion.

"Four years ago, my mom and I were in a car crash. A drunk driver hit us…. That's how I got the scar," Elsa reached an arm over her torso, gently rubbing the discolored pigment. As if, she was remembering, stroking out all the memories. "I got away with this," she muttered, gesturing to the scar. "My mom wasn't so lucky. She's been in a coma ever since. The doctors say that the chances of her ever waking up are slim. I went to the hospital yesterday. I was upset when I left, so I went to a bar. Which is where I ran into Hans."

"Hans? Who's this Hans?" Anna was deeply engrossed in the story, feeling all the pain Elsa had felt over the past years.

Elsa got up and started pacing, walking frantically around. Her hands shaky, trembling with anger.

"Hans is the person who crashed into us that night. He was sentenced to four years of prison. That man should have been sentenced to lifetime!" She shouted furiously, which made Anna jump. "And then I find out that the bastard has been out for _years_ already! And he stands there, and fucking laughs me right in the face. Mocking me, as if he hadn't done enough damage already!"

The redhead got up and managed to capture Elsa with a grip on both of her arms, preventing the ongoing pacing. Her touch was soft and lingering on Elsa's biceps.

"Calm down, Elsa. I'm sure there's something we can do."

"No! That's the problem, Anna! The man is_ untouchable_. His father is CEO of The Southern Industries, and Hans is his legal heir. Those people would do anything to avoid public scandals. _They are above the law_. Besides, I threw the first punch… not that it matters, I missed anyways." The last part came out as a growl.

Neither of them realized how close they were to one another. Anna's grip had loosened, just by the slightest. Then she shot a hand up to touch the side of Elsa's face.

"We need to get some ice on that," she mumbled, lost in Elsa's face for a second. She graced a finger over the bruise. As the redhead left for the kitchen to raid Elsa's freezer, the blonde was left to only watch her as she turned the corner.

Anna hadn't yelled at her. She hadn't been running away screaming. It was admirable how well she had absorbed the information. Though things weren't necessarily fine between them, Anna was still here. Taking care of Elsa.

When she returned with a bag of frozen peas, which Elsa wondered how had ended up in the freezer in the first place, she dragged the injured woman towards the couch. Carefully, she pulled her down next to her and held the frozen peas onto Elsa's swollen face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Anna broke the silence. Her voice was full of hurt.

"Hm, what?" The blonde had been lost in Anna's face, and astonished by her gentle touch.

Elsa would never admit it, but Anna holding the icy bag of peas against her eye was the most amazing feeling in the world. And she just couldn't get over how red and soft her lips looked. She wondered what it would be like to kiss them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" the redhead adjusted the bag of peas. "Why didn't you tell me about your father in high school? I mean, I actually thought we had something… kind of special."

"Oh, Anna, I haven't told anyone. Ever. Except for Astrid. And even she had to beat it out of me. Literally, she actually hit me."

Anna stifled a laugh, which almost made the bag of peas fall from Elsa's face. The shy smirk was undeniably adorable as it plastered across Anna's face. The expression made Elsa smile. Not a big toothy grin, but a small discreet smile. A real Elsa smile, if you asked Astrid. The smile soon vanished. The look in Elsa's eyes grew distant.

"About high school…," the blonde started, trying to find the last of her bravery. It was probably hidden somewhere beneath the self-loathing and regret. "I'm sorry that I lead you on. Saying that I was going to call when I knew I wasn't. Cutting all contact was the only way we knew we were safe… But I want you to know that that night meant something to me."

There. She'd said it. The whole speech she had prepared seemed like too much for the current situation. She decided to settle for simple and honest.

There it was. The apology she'd been longed for so many years. Anna never thought she'd ever live to hear it. Never would she truly understand why Elsa had lied to begin with, but Anna knew that fear and distress sometimes made people do strange things. Maybe Elsa had wanted to part on good terms, knowing not making that promise would break the young redhead's heart.

"Thank you for apologizing…," the redhead murmured gratefully.

Elsa looked to the floor, knowing that this apology was years too late. She drew a deep breath, feeling the bandages on her back expand along with her diaphragm.

"Look, Anna, I need you to promise me that you won't tell any of this to Astrid. She would kill me if she found out I was in a fight with Hans. I've already put her through enough…."

"Elsa, there's no shame in asking for help. Astrid doesn't seem like the type that minds," she argued. Anna was right, but there was more to it than that. There were things Elsa didn't want to get into, not tonight. Not ever, if it was up to her.

The begging look Elsa shot the girl was enough to make her silently nod in agreement. She wouldn't tell Astrid.

"I'm going to work from home the next couple of days… if that's alright with you? Just until, this," she gestured toward her face, "settles down."

"Of course. I'll just say you called in sick."

The two women didn't know what to say next. There was nothing more to say really. Anna should probably go. But then Elsa remembered, and thought now was her chance.

"I'm sorry I have been such a jerk to you. I'm sorry about what happened in back then," the hurt in her eyes spoke just as much as her words. "I wish I could undo it. But I can't, and I'm sorry."

Elsa wasn't sure what she'd hoped to gain by apologizing further. She never expected to gain Anna's forgiveness. Perhaps this was to ensure herself that she hadn't left anything out. That now she had apologized for everything, assuring her that she hadn't left anything out. Or maybe she just wanted Anna to know how truly sorry she actually was.

"I'm…," the words didn't seem to want to leave the redhead's mouth. It pained her to say what she was about to. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to forgive you, Elsa."

Honestly, Anna's response had taken her by surprise. But of course she should have known it wasn't that easy. She couldn't just expect one word to make everything right. Elsa's gaze fell from Anna's eyes. She couldn't possibly hate herself more than she already did, and yet she managed to amaze her by the utter repulsion she held towards herself at that moment.

Anna picked up on the shift in the room. The mood was even worse than when Elsa had talked about her abusive father. Swiftly, she placed her other hand on the blonde's chin to pull her head up. Elsa now looked at Anna again.

"I'm willing to try. But we got to start working on your communication skills."

Elsa didn't know it was possible to feel this light. Compared to her usual heavy body, filled with worry, hate, and sadness, she felt like a feather. They both sat and smiled at each other a moment longer.

"Thanks for coming tonight," Elsa then spoke.

"Any time," Anna smiled.


	9. Unexpected Activities

**Chapter 9 – Unexpected activities**

**Heads up/warning: **Adult scenes.

* * *

Elsa woke up with a pounding headache. For once, she had let herself sleep in. Sleep never came easy to Elsa, however, Anna's half-forgiving words were still lingering freshly on her mind making her mind shut up long enough for her to fall asleep.

The woman dragged herself out of bed and went directly to the shower. As much as she wanted to avoid the person in the mirror, she couldn't. Goodness, she could hardly recognize herself. One side of her face was just one big bruise and her lip was still dark and swollen around the crack. Luckily, the swelling on her face had gone down tremendously and she was merely left with purple patterns stretching mockingly over the length of her cheekbone.

The only thing that could remotely cheer her up by the utterly repulsiveness that was her face (to be fair, the woman would never be able to look repulsive no matter how hard she tried), was that the heavy bags under her eyes were gone. A good night's sleep could apparently work wonders, and she decided that perhaps she should try to get more than her regular five hours more often.

The steam settled upon the glass as Elsa stood under the showerhead. She let the warm water untangle the knots settled in her back, even though it caused a fair bit of stinging from the cuts. Her mind couldn't help but slip into the memories of last night. How her knuckles had collided with Hans' nose. How she had shared a cell with six other women as she uncomfortably awaited Anna to arrive and get her out of that whole mess. How they had yelled at each other on the street and how Anna had gone into specific detail on how she would nail her ass to the seat. A slight smirk curled up on Elsa's lips as she thought of it.

Anna surely had grown.

She'd become even more wonderful; even when she swore a thousand words a minute. It was almost sexy in a way. She wasn't that insecure little high school girl Elsa had found so attractive almost a decade ago. Now she was this confident young businesswoman, willing to stand her own ground and not letting herself being trampled which admittedly Elsa had taken advantage of in high school.

Elsa kept remembering last night. Finally, there was the talk and the confessions, and the explanations and the apologizing, which had nearly killed Elsa. But she had lived through it. Mostly because of Anna and how calming she was. Once again, Anna had functioned as her own personal gravity field, pulling her towards earth and prevented her from drifting into nothingness.

And yet, Elsa couldn't help but fight the feeling that Anna had a power over her. And it freaking scared her to bits. She didn't know what it was that made Anna feel like… well, the closest thing to home she had had in a long time. It scared the living crap out of her, which she thought was even more reason to try to keep Anna at a certain distance. Obviously, she couldn't drag Anna into the mess she called her life. Especially since the girl wasn't even sure if she could forgive Elsa for their past.

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. Her breasts made it possible for the towel to hold itself up as she brushed her hair. As she stepped into her sweatpants her phone buzzed. What she wasn't aware of, was that that was probably the hundredth time that the device had buzzed that morning and first now she noticed.

The phone was stuffed with texts, several from Astrid, one from Anna, and a couple from Kristoff. Kristoff was just asking if everything was alright and telling her that he was terribly sorry about what had happened last night. The worrisome Astrid was telling that Anna had told her she was sick and she of course didn't believe Elsa. Therefore, Elsa called and explained that the visit at her mother's yesterday had drained her completely and she had asked to work from home the rest of the week.

"I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. Are you sure you don't want me to come over? I can bring take-out, I know how much you love the food from the Mexican place," Astrid fuzzed.

Elsa felt a hint of guilt for lying to her friend, but managed to convince herself that it was for the best. That it was for Astrid's own good. Because there was truly nothing to worry about. She had run into Hans and she spend half a night in jail, but that was it.

In fact, running into Hans may even have been unenviable. And was she really to retain herself from the satisfaction of seeing him suffer, just a little? No. This had nothing to do with Astrid's normal worries about Elsa and this wasn't something that would be able to repeat itself. Not like last time.

"No thank you, it's fine. I'd really just rather be alone right now…," Elsa said, and it wasn't a lie.

"Of course, Bambi, I understand," Astrid stated, being the supportive and selfless friend that she always was.

It was quiet on the line for a few seconds. Astrid had nearly taken it as if the conversation was over and almost hung up.

"And, Astrid…," Elsa mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you… for coming with me yesterday. I… I…."

Sometimes you really wouldn't believe that Elsa pretty much spoke for a living. She had no trouble speaking business and practical matters – but _emotions_. F_eelings_ and stuff. Might as well just put a gun to her head.

"Always, Bambi. You can count on me, you know that," Astrid said, and Elsa could hear the smile in her voice. They hung up and Elsa just felt a tiny bit better. Almost good enough to managing a smile. She truly had been blessed with the most amazing friends on earth.

She looked through the remaining of the texts only to find one last unread message. Now, this one took Elsa by surprise. It was from Anna and contained two simple sentences.

**Anna** (09:23): _I'm stopping by your place today to check on you. C u after work._

It wasn't much of a question and the redhead wasn't exactly asking for permission either. More accurately, Elsa had surely viewed it as an order, or more like an inevitable occurrence.

So Elsa passed the time by getting work done. She was almost finished when it knocked on the door. She walked over to let in a soaked redhead. Only as she saw the water dripping from Anna's face she noticed the absolutely awful weather outside. It was pouring down, fat heavy drops beating hard against the windows.

"Hey," Anna had said as the blonde opened the door.

A smiled hoisted up on the redhead's lips.

"Hi," Elsa answered, almost too captivated by Anna's face to remember to let her in.

Elsa stepped aside so that Anna could pass. Without hesitation, Elsa grabbed the younger girl's coat and hung it on the rack so it could dry off. But Anna was soaked to the bone.

"How're you feeling?" The redhead asked, and she stood in her fancy designer clothes dripping onto Elsa's marble floor.

"Better," Elsa said, "much better actually."

'And then she smiled, and then Anna smiled, and now they were just both standing there smiling at each other.

"You're looking much better," the younger girl stated, continuing smiling happily.

"Have you spoken to Astrid? She looked worried when I said you weren't coming in today," and there Anna was again, caring. _Really_ caring. Elsa simply couldn't get over it. Anna was so warm; had the warmest heart. Just the fact that she stopped by after work to check on the blonde had Elsa think she truly didn't deserve Anna. It really proved to Elsa that Anna really was trying to forgive her.

For once, the words didn't come rushing into Elsa's head. The sarcastic and snarky comments were repressed, and she could barely find the words anymore. She couldn't believe that this much had changed between them just by letting Anna in on Elsa's past.

But Elsa couldn't help but like it. She felt relaxed.

"A-are you hungry?" Elsa asked, surprised it came out as a stutter, because she couldn't recall the last time she had ever stuttered.

"Starving," Anna smiled.

"You up for Chinese? I know a great place that delivers."

Anna nodded while unzipping her high-heeled boots and placing them by the door.

"I'll pretty much agree to anything as long as its food," Anna grinned.

So Elsa ordered while Anna took off as much of her wet clothes as she could without it being inappropriate.

"I can lend you some dry clothes if you want?" Elsa offered.

"Nah, it's alright. I'll survive," the redhead shrugged.

Elsa stifled a laugh. Well, she pretended to stifle a laugh, but in all honesty Elsa kind of wanted to laugh at Anna. No, not _at _Anna, but with her.

"Stubborn as always I see," and Elsa's smile widened.

Anna playfully swatted the blonde's arm lightly, careful not to cause any more damage to Elsa's already injured body. As Elsa was pressing the issue that it really was no trouble if Anna wanted to borrow some dry clothes, the deliver guy was at the door and they decided to eat by the kitchen counter.

Anna was skillfully eating with chopsticks whereas Elsa had grabbed a fork, surrendering completely to the arts of chopstick-eating.

Anna was looking at her noodles with furrowed brows because they had managed to drown the thing in green peppers, which would almost make the damn meal healthy to the redhead's distaste. They could at least have had the common sense to smother it in red peppers instead, because God knows green peppers were gross and there surely was a difference.

Elsa giggled as she noticed how Anna skillfully avoided the little green monsters on her plate.

"I forgot how much you despise those things," she laughed.

Anna was surprised that Elsa could even remember that she had told her about her pure hatred for the vegetable. In fact, she couldn't remember ever having told Elsa. Elsa must have noticed Anna's confusion, because it was like she was reading her mind.

"I remember how you always had a collection of those things on the side of your plate when I walked past you in the cafeteria…," she mumbled.

For some reason Anna started to blush, just the faintest. Elsa had been more observant that Anna originally thought, because she definitely remembered the two of them never having lunch together. She knew Elsa always had lunch at the senior table, which was by the entry of the cafeteria, which meant Elsa must have taken a detour just to walk past Anna's table.

"Do you still keep in touch with anyone from high school?" The blonde asked, stuffing an eggroll into her mouth.

"No, none but Rapunzel. But I guess I'm kind of obligated to since she's my cousin," Anna replied with a shrug and a grin.

"Do you remember the time where we had that water balloon fight from the roof top, and Marshall dropped that massive one on Principle Weselton's head that made his toupee fall off?"

Anna snickered clearly remembering the face of the elderly man who was too hysterical to even pick up his wig before finding Marshall and suspending him for a week.

"You want to know something though?"

"Sure," Anna answered curiously.

"I was the one who threw it. But Marshall took the fall since Weselton would've probably kicked me out, since I was the one who'd set off the fire alarm that time during the Christmas ceremony."

"That was _you_?!" Anna laughed.

Elsa nodded, not sure if she should be proud or embarrassed. Surely, it was a mixture of both. It hadn't been the most noble thing to let Marshall take the fall, but then again, she was the undefeated trouble-maker at school.

A silence settled between the two as they had just taken a walk down memory-lane.

"It's nice to catch up," Anna said and beamed, still imaging her old principal screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Yeah… it is," Elsa agreed, putting down her fork feeling a smile creep on. For some reason, that's all she felt like she did when she was with Anna at that moment. Smile.

By the time they were done eating Anna was shivering.

"You sure you don't want some dry clothes?" Elsa looked out the window, "you aren't going anywhere soon in this weather anyway," she stated.

The redhead was having an internal battle of whether she should take the blonde up on her offer.

"Fine. I give in," Anna sighed.

"Finally," the blonde smiled, indicating for Anna to follow her into the bedroom.

Annaslumped down on the bed. Immediately her face displayed discomfort, and her brows fell into a frown.

"Seriously, this is the hardest thing I've ever sat on," the redhead uttered.

Elsa had to bite the inside of her cheek not to make a 'that's what she said' joke. She honestly didn't deem it appropriate at the time.

So she just laughed it off as she threw a pair of sweats and a tank top at Anna.

"You can change in here…. I'll be… in the living room," Elsa mumbled, and awkwardly scratched the back of her head.

"It's fine. You can just turn around," Anna said nonchalant. So Elsa did.

She could only hear the faint sound of clothes being removed and dropping to the floor. She could only imagine what was taking place right behind her. How Anna was most likely half-naked or maybe even fully naked.

"Elsa…?" Anna mumbled questionably.

The sound of a bra being unclasped sounded.

"Yeah…?"

Anna dried herself with a towel.

"Do you regret that night...? The night we…?" Anna's voice was so small. It sounded like she had stopped mid-motion only to wait for Elsa's response.

"No…," Elsa said after a little while. "I wish it had ended differently though…."

Elsa fought the urge to turn around and look at Anna. Not because she wanted to see Anna's glorious naked body, well not _only _to see Anna's naked body, but to look her in the eye.

"Differently…," Anna repeated.

"Yeah…," Elsa mumbled.

This conversation was so… intimate. They both felt vulnerable. "I wouldn't have said the things I did. I wouldn't have filled you with empty promises…. I wouldn't have taken your virginity."

"So you do regret it?"

"No… that night was probably one of the best nights of my life."

There it was. Elsa's big confession. It was true she hadn't had such an intimate emotional and physical connection with anyone since Anna. But either way, Elsa was still just a kid and probably didn't even know what the hell was happening.

"Really?" Anna's voice was barely a whisper.

Elsa couldn't fight the urge anymore. She turned around greeting a wide-eyed Anna who hurriedly covered up her naked breasts. Her face flushed red, but Elsa hardly noticed since she was too captivated but the young woman in front of her. There Anna stood wearing Elsa's sweats and nothing else, her hair still damp.

Without much thought Elsa took two steps forward closing the distance between them. She planted a passionate kiss on the redhead's mouth.

She placed her hands on Anna's hips and pulled her closer. Her body was going wild with desire and lust. It took some time for Anna to get over the shock and reciprocate the kiss. There was so much to think about, so many thoughts going through her mind that she didn't have time to consider before Elsa's hands snaked around her.

"Really," Elsa broke the kiss to say.

That's when Anna decided to stop thinking for once. It wasn't that she didn't want to do this. She had dreamed of Elsa's hot body grinding against her in the dance of lovemaking, though she was too proud to admit it to herself. But of course parts of her knew this was all wrong. That she still hadn't forgiven Elsa completely and the blonde was taken advantage of the situation.

But for once she just thought 'to hell with it' and went with her instincts. Anna herself was pretty much a puddle of lust and desire as well and the fire in her abdomen had to be killed this very instant or she wouldn't be able to remain her sanity for much longer.

So Anna let go of herself and her naked chest was pushed against Elsa's as she clasped her hands around Elsa's neck and pulled her closer into a hard kiss.

Not two seconds later, after Elsa was certain that Anna wanted the same, she scooped the redhead up and threw her on the rock-hard bed. Anna gasped, surprised by the streak of wilderness in the blonde's action. She liked it however and made space for Elsa between her legs. Instinctively, the blonde rolled her hips thrusting against Anna's core and the redhead moaned in delight.

Soon clothes were scattered and all that was left on were Elsa's panties. She simply didn't have time to be rid of them before she kissed her way down Anna's body until her mouth was settled between her thighs. Anna was on her back, gasping for air, moaning loudly, and holding onto the headboard. Her body was stretched out so wonderfully. Anna was pretty much gone by then, her eyes closed, cheeks flushed, crying out Elsa's name.

Her breathed hitched when a warm tongue flicked over her womanhood. Her hips bucked, pushing herself closer to Elsa's mouth. Needless to say, Elsa was enjoying herself and she slipped a hand down her own underwear so that she could join Anna in the pure bliss that was to come. Elsa's other arm was tangled around Anna while she used her elbow to hold herself up. As Anna neared her peak she let go of the headboard with one hand only to tangle her fingers in Elsa's hair.

It was rough. It was sweaty. It was hot. And neither of the two could deny the insane connection that sparked between them like a wave of electricity. Anna was careful not to run her hands over Elsa's cuts and bruises, but it could hardly be avoided. Elsa was too far gone to notice and hardly felt anything but Anna's burning touch anymore.

Both woman cried out at the same time. A single tear trailed down Anna's cheek. She couldn't believe what had just happened. The whole thing was just so complicated… but never had she felt more amazing. It just felt so right with Elsa. Anna couldn't recall the last time she had experienced such mind-blowing sex and neither could Elsa.

Elsa was still resting between Anna's legs as she was catching her breath. She climbed up so that she could rest her head on Anna's stomach while Anna was stroking her hair.

None of them were entirely sure on what exactly had just happened. All they knew was that it definitely would be a shame if it didn't happen again.

"I'm ready again," Anna said, lifting her head to look at Elsa.

Elsa shifted, pulled herself up so that she could kiss Anna hard on her lips.

This needed to happen again. Anna knew this definitely wasn't what she had wanted to happen when she had send Elsa that text. Quite on the contrary, she had secretly vowed to herself that she wouldn't fall in. But, they could surely discuss the matters and unravel the complicated mess after one more round. Or maybe two.


	10. Heart of Gold

**Chapter 10 – Heart of Gold**

_I really hope you're reading this, C. Just know my thoughts are going out to you._

* * *

Her mind was still replaying how good the redhead's body had felt against hers. Anna surely had changed over the past eight years. She had become more confident. Anna suddenly possessed a certain poise in the bedroom, Elsa had noticed. Elsa remembered back on how Anna taken control of the kiss at one point, and how she'd thrown the blonde onto her back while kissing her way down Elsa's stomach. The younger girl had been so nervous that time in the Volvo that Elsa had had to take complete control.

Things hadn't been awkward after though – that time in the Volvo all those years ago. They had parted without any fuzz and Elsa had left to rejoin her graduation party. It hadn't been awkward, not at all.

But it was this time.

Maybe it was because Elsa had lost herself completely in Anna? No, that was actually a good thing according to the older woman. It was a rare occurrence – Elsa losing herself like that in someone. It was rare she let anyone else take control. It had led to some of the most wonderful sex she'd ever experienced. So, no that wasn't why things had gotten awkward. Maybe it was when Elsa said she would go sleep on the couch. Yeah, that was definitely it. Because that was also what sparked the heated argument.

They had barely caught their breaths as Elsa had suddenly maneuvered her way off of the bed. She wasn't in a hurry or anything, but her hands were shaky and she had that look in her eyes. The look of sheer panic. Anna was left confused for a second.

"Wait, where're you going?" The redhead had asked as Elsa had gotten up to throw on her sweats.

Eye contract was being avoided at all costs. Elsa was staring at the floor as she threw on a t-shirt. But when the piece of clothing was carefully pulled into place Elsa stopped what she was doing. Her eyes were distant. Finally, she casted her gaze towards the girl on the bed. No. The woman on the bed.

"I… I can't do this."

Anna could only scarcely fathom what Elsa was saying. But she chose not to jump to conclusions. Not yet. She wanted to hear the words fall from Elsa's mouth.

"What do you mean you can't do this? Elsa, I'm not asking you to marry me, we're just cuddling. Christ, we just had sex; this is what normal people do."

"I'm sorry, Anna," Elsa had said.

This was so typical of her. This was typical Elsa Christianson. Fleeing every time someone came too close.

"You can't be serious," Anna had stated in disbelief. "You're actually doing this to me again?!"

Elsa couldn't meet Anna's gaze. She stared at the floor in shame. Anna couldn't believe it. Had she really fallen for it for the second time? Was this _actually _happening for the second time? It didn't feel the same. The hurt was different this time.

"I'm… so sorry," was all Elsa could say, because she couldn't muster any more. There was so much inside of her that was broken and this was just another malfunction.

"Screw you, Elsa," Anna hissed as she moved to the edge of the bed.

For a second she waited. She was waiting for Elsa's snarky and offensive comment that would make it so much easier for her to leave. She was waiting for Elsa to say 'you just did, Sweetheart' and then wink and smile at her or something along those lines. But it didn't come. Elsa just stood there, looking so small, almost closing in on herself.

But with the lack of response the younger girl had just gotten up, utterly furious, and put on her still damp clothes before slamming the door behind her. The tears weren't making their presence yet. They were patiently held back until she made it home safe. But she did conclude one thing in her car ride home.

If Elsa wouldn't let her help her, then she was done trying.

* * *

Anna arrived home awfully late. To be reasonable, she hadn't actually planned on coming home. No, she thought she could have spent the night with Elsa and then just left early in the morning to go to work.

Of course, she would have to listen to the never-ending reprimand her roommates surely would give her for given into Elsa. But Anna was a big girl and could make her own choices. Not that she was certain she had made the right choice with Elsa. Actually, she was certain she had made the wrong choice regarding the blonde. But she couldn't deny that she had wanted it too. She truly had, and it had been amazing.

Nevertheless, she was greeted by Marie sitting all by her lonesome on one of the couches framing the coffee table.

She didn't say anything as Anna walked in and she didn't have to. Anna knew what the woman with the pink ribbon was thinking. Her posture said it all. The way Marie simply closed her book and let it rest in her lap spoke for itself.

Anna was taking off her scarf and hanging it on the rack.

"Oh don't give me that look," Anna almost spat, too frustrated and sad to even consider giving her usual diplomatic tone a fair chance.

"I'm not giving you a look, Anna. I'm just confused."

At the very moment, Anna wasn't particularly interested in staying and listening to what the blonde was confused about exactly. Yet, her inner voice of reason told her not to storm off. Marie was her friend. She was simply trying to understand. So Anna sighed and said, "what exactly are you confused about?"

Marie crossed her legs; her face not giving anything away.

"I'm just confused how my best friend of six years suddenly decides that she can walk all over her roommates."

"I'm not walking all over you," Anna growled.

"You're not? Because I thought friends let each other know where they were, so they wouldn't spend their whole night worrying about all sorts of things that could've happened. At least a text or a phone call. I thought that was what friends did, but apparently I'm wrong?"

Anna hated when Marie got like this. But could she really blame her? After all, this was the second day in a row Anna had been gone without a word. Of course she'd left that note, but Merida and Marie had both agreed that 'Everything's fine, I'll be back soon' didn't exactly reach the standards of acceptable excuses.

"What do you want from me? You want me to call you every time I cross the street so you can come and hold my hand?" Anna snarled, completely fed up with everything and everyone.

"For fuck sakes, Anna, that's not what I'm asking and you know goddamn well what I mean," Marie rarely let her temper slip like this. So Anna figured she must've really been upset.

Marie seemed to sense the sadness that overcame the redhead as the foul words had left her mouth. Anna wasn't trying to hurt Marie or Merida, she knew that. Anna loved her roommates and they were all just trying to look out for each other. After all, they were all more like sisters than friends in a sense.

The tall blonde got up and walked to Anna. Anna's gaze fell to the floor as Marie placed her hands on her shoulders and tried to catch the girl's eyes.

"Anna, what's going on?"

When Anna didn't speak but let a single tear fall down her cheek Marie lead her to the couch. As they sat, Marie wrapped her arms around Anna. The redhead sniffled lightly, trying to catch a break from all these emotions.

"I was with Elsa," she finally whispered. "I slept with Elsa tonight. And she doesn't want me."

None of her words seemed to take Marie by surprise, she had probably seen it coming. Marie was good at this stuff. Seeing through things. She'd had plenty of practice with her two brothers. If there was one thing Marie was good at, it was people.

"Oh, Sweetie," Marie said, and pulled Anna closer as she wept on her shoulder. "That's utter bullshit," the blonde laughed.

Anna raised her head, finally looking at Marie with tear-filled eyes.

"W-what?"

Marie huffed a breath of air, smiling at the devastated girl in her arms.

"She's crazy about you. She would be a fool not to want you," the pale blonde stated. "That night at the club. Goodness, I thought she would never let you go. I've never seen anybody look at anybody like that. She's madly in love with you."

Anna couldn't quite believe it. Could Elsa really be so 'madly in love with her' and then practically throw her out of her apartment? Sure, Anna knew Elsa came with a lot of baggage, but was she really that broken? So lost and insecure? Perhaps she was and Anna just hadn't realized it because of Elsa's extremely convincing and well-practiced façade.

"How do you know?" Anna sniffled.

Marie smiled again, the kind of smile where she smiled with her eyes as well. She was quite beautiful really.

"I just know," she said. "But maybe Elsa doesn't know herself yet. So you got to… _push_ her a little. Pushing is good once in a while," Marie winked.

It actually made kind of sense. Anna could push Elsa, she guessed. She really couldn't see much of an alternative because Elsa would just keep running unless she gave her that push.

So it was settled. Anna would try to push. If not for Elsa's sake, then for her own, because she knew all too well how important it was to put yourself first. But had Anna actually forgiven Elsa? She guess she had. Because at that very moment she realized how helpless Elsa indeed was when it came to emotions, and relationships and everything that didn't involve work or pragmatics. She couldn't believe she was forgiving Elsa after she had just pulled one of the least forgivable of things on her. But here she was. Forgiving Elsa Christianson. What she needed to keep in mind was that forgiveness wasn't the same as trust.

"Why have you always been so supportive of Elsa? I mean, Merida was ready to kick her face in from the first time I told you guys about her. But not you. You're… actually on Elsa's side on this? Aren't you?" Anna asked, still letting her comfort in her friend's arms.

Marie let out a little laugh.

"I wouldn't say I'm on Elsa's side. I'm on your side, Anna. Always. I just never felt that Elsa was a bad person… and from the moment that woman walked into your life again you've seemed… different. A good different. Something I've never seen in you. So despite how much you tried to convince us that you hated the woman's guts, it shines just as clearly from you as it does from Elsa. You guys never got over each other."

For heaven's sake, nothing slipped past this woman. Anna always thought that Marie should have been a psychiatrist, but the blonde had always responded with that she didn't like taking money for helping people. She just did that out of the goodness of her heart.

This night had been nothing but an eye-opener to Anna and she was hoping that maybe she could make Elsa see what she saw as well. Soon hopefully.

"Just promise me you'll let us know where you are, Darling. I really hate worrying about you," Marie kissed the top of her head and Anna nodded.

"Gosh, Merida's going to have a fit when she hears about this…."

Anna laughed, knowing that her other roommate probably wouldn't be as thrilled about her decision as Marie.

Her and Marie laughed and sat for another moment before deciding to go to bed. Already now, Anna didn't know how she would be able to get up in the morning, knowing it was way way past her usual bedtime. But somehow it was okay, because after work she knew she would go see Elsa and she would give her a gentle push in the right direction.

* * *

Anna couldn't sleep. The conversation with Marie was still too fresh on her mind. So she was just laying there on her bed. And she was thinking. Thinking so hard the next-door neighbor could almost hear her.

Anna recalled being forced to read all these dull symbolic novels in high school. They were a pain to get through and literature had never allured to Anna's interests. However, she couldn't deny that the issues these novels, poems, and short-stories she felt were coercively compelled upon her more often than not lined up with similar affairs in her own life. It were books like The Color Purple that came along timing so perfectly as Anna was discovering her sexuality. Or Wuthering Heights when she was hopelessly falling for Elsa who so reluctantly refused to commit. Anna suddenly understood how miserable love could be when the right people can't be together.

She recalled locking herself up in her room imagining _she_ was Kate Bush floating outside of Heathcliff's window (in which case Elsa was the distressed Mr. Heathcliff) begging him to let her in.

Sometimes, the answer to life's questions weren't just right in front of you but hidden in the comfort of a book or a song. Sometimes, nothing understood you as well as a piece of art. It was all about waiting. Because these things would find you, Anna believed. They'd done it in high school, and they were going to do now. Things had a tendency to pop up the moment you aren't looking for them

Therefore, it didn't come as a surprise to her when it was the lyrics of a song that put word on her feelings, and threw upon her its consoling blanket of words that she needed to hear. Anna was curled up on her bed, submerging herself in her own tears of distress. The radio was humming its sweet tunes on her nightstand. She'd found the Sad Lover's Radio Station. Because that was what she was. A sad lover. She'd never imagined giving herself over to Elsa - surrendering herself to her feelings - could back backfire so badly.

Marie's words were still a soothing reminder that nothing was over yet. And so was the song currently filling her ears.

_I can be strong when I want to be,  
You think I'm weak cause you can tear me apart with the words that you speak  
You think you're in control  
But you don't understand how much you're wrong  
You choose to lash out at me, I've done nothing wrong  
All you crave is attention and just to be loved  
You need to be loved_

The words simply went straight to Anna's love-soaked heart. The tears were urgently trailing down her cheeks as she clutched a pillow to her stomach. It was like her feelings were unraveled entirely by the lyrics flowing from the tiny speakers. At the same time, her feelings had never been clearer. She loved Elsa. There was no denying it anymore. She'd never stopped loving her, and only now did she realize. It was almost a revolutionary experience to find out where her heart had been all along. She didn't even know it had been missing until a few days ago.

_And I want to be free  
When my heart is made from gold  
And forgiveness seems too bold  
I still find it in my heart  
To say "I love you"_

_But you don't have to be so mean  
You're such a drama queen  
The way you prey on every weakness that you see in me  
To make you strong, you are alone  
So don't pretend like you can hardly breathe  
Like it's down to me  
'Cause it's so unfair that you can't succeed, but you're so wrong  
We're still so young_

She decided this push was going to happen soon. It _needed _to happen soon. Maybe she _could_ still find it in her heart to say I love you. Because that was what Elsa needed. Love.

* * *

**A/N:** I truly do avoid lyrics in my stories, but I made an exception…

_Song: Heart of Gold by Birdy_


	11. Breathless

**Chapter 11 – Breathless**

Elsa hadn't been outside for days. No one was able to reach her, only if it had been work-related. And even then, she would just wave the person off by sending them a text telling them to email her. She didn't want to talk to anyone.

Anna had stopped by twice over the weekend, hopelessly knocking on the door that Elsa had no intention of answering. Elsa considered whether it was possible to work from home forever. Astrid would probably never let her. But she knew she would have to face the redhead on Monday at work… or maybe she didn't. She could always pull the sick-card, just for a few more days at least.

Astrid surely wouldn't allow it, but Elsa's face had healed well enough for her concerned friend to be able to see her without suspecting anything – if she covered it with enough concealer and foundation that is. So that Sunday after Astrid and Elsa had visited the hospital they drove to Astrid's house. Astrid had insisted on them going to her place since she thought a change of scenery would be good for Elsa.

Elsa was drained. After visiting her lifeless mom, she was ready to just slump down on the couch and clench her lifeless heart until she fell asleep. Astrid could see the pain on Elsa's face. It was all Elsa's face could portray lately.

"Talk to me, Bambi. You're killing yourself with all those thoughts in there," she dropped down next to Elsa and pointed towards her forehead. Elsa sighed, sitting up more straight.

"I don't know what to say…," the lost girl stated coldly.

She wasn't good at this. Talking feelings. Never had been. Even her mother had to drag it out of her. She had been so used to concealing every trail of emotion, trying never to reveal how truly terrified she had been of her own father. She sucked it up, and locked it up, because imagine letting her father know she was scared of him. Imagine him knowing he was causing his own daughter so much hurt without even realizing. He might not have been the person he once was, but he was still a person. A person with feelings. A person who loved his daughter very much once, until he forgot. Until the paranoia took that love away from him and left him with fear and mistrust.

"Well, how're you feeling?" Astrid asked.

"Pathetic." Elsa's voice didn't miss a beat. "How're _you_ feeling?" She asked Astrid, trying to show the same concern her friend was exhibiting. Or deflecting the conversation over on Astrid, either one.

"I'm worried, but other than that just fine," she smiled and patted Elsa's shoulder.

A silence settled between the two. Astrid took a sip of her soda before placing it back on the coffee table and stared expectantly at Elsa. She knew that her friend would give in at one point or another if she kept giving her that look. And Elsa indeed did give in, but said something that came a bit as a surprise.

"I slept with Anna."

Astrid's eyebrows shot up into her hairline. Well, that sure was a surprise. Last she had checked, Anna hated Elsa's guts.

"When?"

"Last week."

"Was is good?"

Elsa hesitated, weighing her options. She considered whether she should tell Astrid about how Anna had invited herself over and how they had had fantastic sex, for then to have Elsa leave her in bed so that she could sleep on the couch like the coward she now was.

"Yeah, the sex was amazing…. I mean, crazy good, but…." Elsa couldn't continue.

"But what? You snuck out on her?" Astrid laughed, clearly meaning for it to be a joke.

Elsa's hands tightened into fists and her graze fell to the floor in shame. Astrid's grin immediately faltered as she put two and two together.

"You did, didn't you?"

Elsa nodded.

"Christ, Elsa, sometimes you're too stupid for your own good," Astrid rolled her eyes, suddenly wishing the soda in front of her was a glass of wine. Of course, she knew she couldn't wish that but at the very moment she could've really used the soothing alcohol to keep from whacking Elsa over the head.

"Can't argue with that…," Elsa mumbled.

"Stop doing that! Stop beating yourself down, Elsa! I'm sick of it. Now, you mean to tell me you missed out on a perfect opportunity to be on good terms with this woman and you blew it? Is it because you're too proud? Explain this to me, because I seriously don't get you."

Elsa leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees, now regretting that she ever brought up Anna. She felt like the whole world was against her, including herself. Now, she knew that was an overstatement because Astrid just wanted Elsa to be happy and stop being miserable.

She sighed loudly, clenching the bridge of her nose between two fingers.

"It has nothing to do with pride, Astrid. I lost the last I had left when Hans whipped my ass-" Elsa hadn't even realized her words had slipped before Astrid shot forward, her mouth hanging open.

"Wait what're you talking about?"

This time Elsa realized her defeat and settled for burying her face in her palms. Astrid slapped Elsa's hands away and grabbed her chin. Then she smeared her thumb across Elsa's cheek taking all the concealer and foundation with it revealing the fading blueness on her face. Elsa flinched, her cheek still being sore.

"You fought Hans?! When did this happen?!"

Elsa tore her face away, rubbing her sore cheek.

"Last week," she said and got up.

She ran her hands through her hair a couple of times.

"And you didn't tell me!?"

"I'm sorry," Elsa mumbled noncommittal.

"That's not going to cut it, Elsa."

Elsa's pale blue eyes were filled with tears by now, ready to spill. She sat down and told Astrid everything. When she mentioned how she'd gone to the Blue Reindeer Astrid nearly smacked Elsa across the face, even though Elsa assured her nothing had happened and she had had everything under control.

"Listen. I don't ask much of you. Hell, I've been a damn good friend to you. But you're making this freaking hard when you don't tell me shit like this," Astrid started, and shifted towards a different tangent, "just because your mom is in the hospital doesn't mean your life is over. You've got to stop living in the past and move forward because life doesn't wait for you! And I apologize for saying this, but you seriously need a reality check. Because to me it sounds like you're purposely trying to ruin your life. With Anna. With Hans. And pretty much with everything."

Elsa nodded. Astrid sure wasn't one to sugarcoat anything. The two friends sat in silence for a little while. Elsa was still processing. Then Astrid turned towards her again and took her hand. Astrid's blue eyes were filled with sympathy.

"I'm sorry about what you went through with your father. And I'm sorry about what he did to you and your mom. I'm sorry about what happened to your mom. I can only imagine the kind of pain you've been going through, and I even understand the methods you sought to make it stop. But this is no way of living. Wake up, Elsa. Look around you and see how much you have. See how many people are ready to help you cushion the fall. You've got an amazing career and people who care about you. Hell, I'm pretty convinced Anna is in love with you or something."

The last part had Elsa's eyes go wide. Anna, in love with her? That couldn't be right.

"How do you know?" Elsa asked, and wiped the last tears away from her face.

Astrid laughed a little, helping Elsa catch a teardrop running down her cheek.

"Elsa, normal people wouldn't go bail people out of jail at three in the morning if they didn't care about them," her friend said, smiling to Elsa as if Elsa was the luckiest woman in the world.

* * *

It was late but Elsa decided not to take Astrid up on her offer of spending the night. No, Elsa had gotten plenty to think about. Her head was on the verge of explosion. She needed to accept things as they were. That her mother might never wake up, that Hans was going to get away with everything, and her father never being the same person again and… Anna. Elsa wasn't sure what to do about Anna. Out of all of the things she had to worry about, this was probably the most complicated of all.

Did Elsa want a relationship? Hell, did Anna even want a relationship? The blonde still wasn't sure where Anna stood, after all, Astrid was only making assumptions.

But Elsa was scared. Scared to death. She'd never been in a relationship before, not a romantic one at least. And all other relationships had seemed to crumble one way or another, except with Astrid. Astrid was pretty much the only thing that filled Elsa with hope.

All these thoughts swirled through her mind like small snowflakes in a blizzard as she stood in the elevator. She finally reached her floor and walked out only to find a tired redhead on her doorstep. There Anna sat leaning against Elsa's door, her legs curled up underneath her. She got up as soon as she saw Elsa though. None of them uttered a word; they just stood there looking at each other.

When Elsa walked over to unlock her door Anna finally spoke.

"Elsa… we really need to talk. You've been avoiding me and I'm done being ignored."

Elsa took a deep breath through her nose and pushed open the door. Anna followed, not waiting to be invited in. Anna took off her coat and placed her purse next to the rack. There she stood, wrapping her arms around herself and looking towards Elsa.

The blonde seemed content on avoiding Anna's eyes. She just walked around, busying herself. First, she turned on the radio, tuning in on a random station. Then she kicked her shoes off and walked to the kitchen, which was bizarre because Elsa only found herself in the kitchen when she was looking for leftovers that were never there.

"Are you thirsty?" She asked, completely neglecting Anna's serious gaze.

Elsa opened the fridge fully aware of its lack of contents other than a couple of sodas and her favorite pop tarts, which she for some reason kept in the fridge. Perhaps to make it seem less empty. She was trying to fill the emptiness with something that wasn't even supposed to be there. Anna sighed at the complete lack of acknowledgement from the blonde.

"Please, can we just sit down and talk?" The redhead pleaded.

Elsa didn't seem to register Anna's request. Or maybe she just didn't want to. It was probably the latter. She simply grabbed a couple of sodas and put them on the counter.

"Do you want something to eat?"

Anna groaned and threw her hands up in defeat. Elsa seemed highly contempt on preparing the pop tarts now and was already unwrapping a pack.

The younger woman walked over to Elsa, fed up with her avoidant questions. She gently took the pack of blueberry pop tarts out of the blonde's hands. Anna took Elsa's hands in hers and held onto them, caressing the top of her hands with her thumbs.

"Look at me…," the younger girl directed gently.

Slowly, Elsa's crystal blue orbs fixated on Anna. Her face was so innocent, so pale and flawless.

"Elsa…this act that you got going… it isn't working anymore," Anna stated. "For a person who refuses to show any true emotions you wear your feelings on your sleeves."

Elsa barely reacted. Maybe Anna should just cut to the chase. Lay all the cards on the table and just take it from there. Surely she wouldn't get anything out of Elsa otherwise.

"I have feelings for you, Elsa."

Nothing. The words didn't seem to touch the blonde one bit. Of course, that was only what Anna saw. If only she knew what was going on inside of Elsa at that moment.

She decided to continue. Anna felt vulnerable after having exposed herself like that. She was completely naked in front of Elsa once again, yet this was a different type of naked. So she decided to throw the ball over to Elsa.

"I know you have feelings for me too," she stated. She was so sure of herself it was almost scary. "Just let me in. I swear I won't hurt you. Ever."

And that was a promise the redhead had all intentions of keeping. Maybe it was naïve and unrealistic, but for all it was worth she would try to the best of her capabilities.

The older girl sighed. It looked like she was trying to laugh it off. Trying to convince herself that this wasn't real. In the distance, Elsa heard the faint sound of a song playing on the radio. Of course, it was _Chasing Cars_ by Snow Patrol. Because of course it had to be that bloody song.

"I don't do relationships," Elsa replied coldly.

But the thing was the moment she had stepped out of that elevator and had seen Anna on her doorstep, she knew she was in love. So in love that it was almost pathetic really.

"Why do you keep doing this?!" Anna said louder than intended dropping the older girl's hands.

Maybe if Elsa just unwrapped this? Unfolded her feelings like a piece of paper, one square at a time. One step at a time, steadily, exposing herself little by little. No one said this had to be all at once. No one said Elsa couldn't take baby-steps. Anna wouldn't mind, she was sure of it. On the contrary, in fact, Anna would most likely encourage such progress. Or just any progress at all.

And then that fucking song was playing and it was all too much. Because, all Elsa really just wanted was to lay there with Anna and forget the world. Forget everything, except how Anna made Elsa feel when she looked at her. She was like a volcano, ready to erupt at any moment, gushing out all the insane and deep-felt emotions she held for the girl.

Enough was enough. Elsa planted a hand on either side of Anna's face, her thumbs caressing each cheek.

Then the guitar broke through and she was told that all that she was and all that she ever was, was there in her perfect eyes. In Anna's perfect eyes. Elsa was suddenly the garden that had burst into life. After many years of slumber, after numerous months, days, minutes, seconds, she was finally blooming. So instead of knowing how to say or how to feel, she just reached over and clasped a hand behind Anna's neck and kissed her senseless. The kiss was rough, and sloppy, and perfect, and passionate, and everything. It was so many things and yet so simple.

"Because you scare the hell out of me," the blonde whispered as they broke apart, answering the redhead's question. Anna was left breathless, caught by surprise, but wanted nothing more than Elsa's lips on hers again.

Elsa was breaking all of her rules.

The blonde felt as if the younger woman had punched a hole in her chest and grabbed her heart holding it tightly in her possession. It was Anna's now anyway. In all honesty, it probably had never belonged to anyone else but Anna. It had just taken Elsa those eight years to realize.

What frightened her the most was that she didn't know what the redhead would do to her pumping pacemaker. She could throw it away. Squeeze until its untimely death. Care for it as if it was her own. So many possibilities.

Now that Elsa had let go of all of her restrictions and confessed her true feelings to Anna, she couldn't seem to stop. It was pouring out of her like a hose that couldn't be turned off.

"Anna… I… I…," well, maybe she wasn't entirely ready yet. She gulped and sighed heavily, "Does the air seem a bit thin to you?"

Anna smiled. She couldn't help but giggle at the struggling blonde in front of her. Elsa trying to put words on her feelings was like watching a lost puppy finding its way back to its owner. But she figured they'd have plenty of time for that. For formalities and discussing their feelings. She knew this was a big step for Elsa, just this tiny bit.

"No, I just take your breath away," the younger girl joked.

And with that, Anna leaned in a gave Elsa lingering kiss that made her head spin.

* * *

**A/N: **Cheesy cheesy cheesy. But you know I love cheesy stuff. Hope you enjoyed it.

I'm really encouraged by all of your reviews. I'm sorry I haven't been good at replying them lately, I've had a lot of work. Lazy excuse, although it's true.

G'night folks. Until next time.


	12. Missing Puzzle Piece

**Chapter 12 – Missing Puzzle Piece**

**A/N: **Sorry for any errors. Haven't really had time to correct it much. Enjoy folks.

* * *

A week passed.

Anna knew this wasn't going to be easy. Elsa just wasn't an easy person. She knew she would be the one to guide her through this relationship, at least in the beginning until the blonde would get the hang of it. They had decided to hold back on the sex until they had figured things out. After all, the last two times hadn't exactly ended to either's benefits.

It was primarily Anna's idea. Honestly, she didn't want to feel used again like the last time. But she also thought it would be healthy for Elsa. It would let Elsa grow emotionally and let her dedicate herself to the relationship before they moved further and onto the physical parts. Anna admitted that it would be hard to keep her hands off of the sexiness that was Elsa Christianson, but she was content on making this work. Because that's what Anna did and sometimes to the extent to where she almost forgot herself. But this time. This time was different. This time she was determined that her happiness was just as important as her partner's.

The redhead understood how isolated and broken Elsa had been over the years. She knew Elsa had special needs - certain dos and don'ts - and some unhealthy routines. Elsa needed an entirely new mental image of herself. One where she didn't beat herself down every other second of the day. But in the end, only Elsa could make that happen. Nevertheless, Anna would be sure to supply the love and comfort Elsa needed to make it happen.

So after work the following Wednesday, Anna invited herself over to Elsa's place. She came through the door once again soaked from the rain pouring outside. Anna was carrying multiple grocery bags. They were filled to the brim with all sorts of daily delicacies.

"You really carried all that in one trip?" Elsa asked impressed as she took Anna's jacket to hang to dry.

"Two trips are for losers," the redhead stated as she carried the groceries to the kitchen.

Anna looked around. She mentally noted that the next time she was out shopping she would buy some colorful candles and pillows for Elsa's apartment. It was simply too depressing with the dull white walls and excessive cleaning. The walls were such an intense shade of white you almost got a headache just from staring at them. Her home smelled more like the cleaning aisle at _Safeway_ than an actual home.

"You really didn't have to do that…," the older woman spoke.

Elsa was standing in the doorway leaning against the doorframe. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she was looking lovingly at the soaked girl who was currently standing in the kitchen unpacking her groceries.

"Well, I'm not going to have you live off of pop-tarts and granola bars for the rest of your life. You need real food, Elsa, starting with these carrots," Anna wafted a bundle of carrots at the blonde.

The older woman put the carrots on the counter and pulled Anna close. Her clothes were so wet but she had given up offering dry ones to the stubborn redhead. She knew Anna would eventually surrender and she would reluctantly come to Elsa when that happened.

Elsa gave her a quick gentle kiss on the lips. She pulled back and looked deeply into Anna's eyes.

"At least let me pay you back," she pleaded.

"No can do. I've got orders," the redhead dismissed and untangled herself from Elsa's loving embrace.

"From whom?" Elsa asked as she quirked an eyebrow.

"Your boss," Anna chuckled.

The younger girl proceeded unpacking. Finally, for the first time in a very long time Elsa's fridge was full. Anna started collected ingredients and turned on the oven.

"Whaaat are you doing?" Elsa asked stupidly.

The freckled girl continued collecting materials, casually searching the kitchen drawers for what she needed. She didn't know where anything was but it didn't matter.

"I'm going to cook for you and you're going to help me," she said, her voice not missing a beat.

"Wait, Anna, you really don't have to do that…," she protested, but Anna showed no intentions of stopping in her search for Elsa's mixer.

"How long has it been since you've had a home-cooked meal?" Anna asked. Elsa became awfully quiet. "Thought so," the redhead concluded knowingly.

Soon all the ingredients were gathered and Anna was tying her hair up into a high ponytail. She carefully measured two and half cups of flour and asked Elsa to get two eggs from the fridge.

"So what're we making?"

Anna gracefully added ingredients here and there. She seemed so elegant in a kitchen, which was very much unlike her usual clumsy self. Elsa took note of that and decided she found it oddly sexy watching the freckled girl work. Not hotter than watching Anna hunched over a bunch of paperwork in her pencil skirt and heels, but pretty damn close.

"Salmon broccoli pie. It's my mom's recipe," she answered. "Do you mind cracking the eggs into the bowl?" She practically ordered as she added a teaspoon of salt to the flour. Elsa went to fetch the eggs. As she was about to crack the first one into the bowl, it slipped from her hand and landed in the dry flour.

The flour flew up, creating a small white cloud staining Anna's black wet sweater. Elsa couldn't help but snort at the unfortunate incident, despite it being an accident. Anna put a hand in her side and glared at the blonde.

"You think that's funny?" She challenged.

"Yeah, actually I do," Elsa laughed, suddenly reaching for more flour to throw at the redhead.

Anna squealed and soon they were having a flour fight. Of course, Elsa won as she could easily pick up the younger girl lifting her off the floor to place a rather large handful of flower right on top of Anna's head. They were both laughing, slightly out of breath as they were acting like oversized children in the very clean kitchen.

In the end they were both on the floor, Elsa awkwardly placed on top of Anna as she was pinning the redhead's hands over her head so she could hardly move.

"Do you surrender?"

Anna raised an eyebrow.

"Is this a way to treat your boss?" She challenged.

Elsa merely laughed, loving how Anna tried to sound like she was in charge. It was as if Anna didn't realize the position she was in, hardly acknowledging her defeat.

"I wouldn't do this to my boss," the blonde laughed and leaned down to kiss Anna.

It was as if Anna simply just washed all Elsa's troubles away. One moment Elsa could hardly be near Anna, fearing she might be a piece of her past that could too easily open the doors she had worked so hard on closing. Now it was like Anna was the only thing keeping her sane. She felt normal for once. It wasn't like _all _her troubles had been washed away though, far from. But she was relaxed and comfortable around Anna. Things had been a little tense between her and Astrid ever since the night Astrid found out Elsa had lied to her. Elsa knew it was just going to take some time. Astrid would come around.

The older girl also knew she had a lot to prove to Anna. Prove that she could be reliable and trustworthy. That she wouldn't just run out on her. Because, truth was, Elsa was clinging onto Anna with her dear life. Now, not in a clingy-girlfriend kind of way. Not like a needy girlfriend who didn't have a life of her own or a life beside Anna. But she did need Anna. Needed her to get back into the real world. And it had never felt more real to her than it did now as she was kissing Anna.

Elsa nibbled at the younger girl's bottom lip, biting it playfully. Anna smiled, kissing Elsa back hard and slipping her tongue past her lips. Elsa happily invited her in eager to taste the younger girl. They laid there for a while until Elsa complained that Anna tasted like flour, which made Anna swat her on the arm. Ungracefully, they both got up noticing the kitchen was an utter mess.

"Don't worry about it. Kai will clean it up tomorrow," the blonde reassured her.

They did a little more kissing before Anna insisted on getting back to cooking arguing that they would both surely starve to death because she was definitely not going to settle for eating blueberry pop-tarts for dinner.

"You. Go take a shower," the redhead ordered. "I'll finish this and shower when I'm done."

Elsa gave the redhead another quick kiss.

"I'll find some clean clothes for you," the blonde said before she disappeared around the corner.

Anna watched her go, admiring Elsa's slender figure as her hips swayed with each step she took. She pushed all thoughts of a naked Elsa out of her head before she continued with her cooking. _So much for teaching Elsa how to cook,_ she thought.

Finally, the pie was in the oven and Anna was ready to get out of her dirty cold clothes and enjoy a steamy hot shower – unfortunately not accompanied by her smoking hot girlfriend.

Elsa had stepped out of the shower and pulled on a pair of sweats and a dark blue sweater. She opened the door as she was drying her damp hair with a towel. On the way out, she nearly bumped into the redhead. Anna was standing out front holding the clothes Elsa had put out for her (a white knitted sweater and some grey sweats). They both looked at each other. There was this feeling of nervousness between them. It was hanging in the air between them, remaining unspoken and ignored because both knew what this feeling was. It was the nervousness of a new romance blossoming. Well, a new old romance to be exact. The hidden fact that both of them were so exquisitely determined to make this work, but secretly scared – no, _terrified_ – to get hurt in the process. And at the same time the sensation of lust occurred in the both of them at that very moment as they were looking at each other. Elsa suddenly felt the urge to pin Anna against the wall and kiss her senseless. She wanted to touch Anna, to feel her again. While Anna on the other hand, though aching for the touch of the keeper of her heart, was petrified she couldn't contain herself. That she couldn't hold herself back when it came to Elsa. That she would surrender to Elsa's charm and end up wiping tears away again while sitting in an empty bed.

Elsa stepped towards Anna. She looked so determined, her eyes focusing on one thing and one thing only. Anna's delicate pink lips. She just couldn't help herself. She reached down and caught Anna's lips with her own. The blonde kept her hands to herself though, knowing this went against their agreement. The towel that once rested in Elsa's gentle grip fell to the floor. A hand shot up and caressed the redhead's cheek, subtly pulling the girl closer and begging for more. Anna placed a hand on Elsa's chest and gently, very gently, pushed the blonde away.

"Elsa…," Anna whispered doubtfully.

"I know…. I'm sorry," she sighed and took a step back.

"It's okay. It's not like I don't want to. You know I want you," _so badly, _Anna's mind added. "But I think we need to take this slow. Get to know each other again."

Elsa actually began to smile because she loved how much Anna cared about this relationship. Even though it was not even two weeks old, Anna seemed as she had everything under control and it comforted Elsa.

"You're right," the older girl simpered.

Anna smiled in relief. A silence settled over them. Elsa was resting her hands on Anna's hips for a little while longer.

"I'm going to go shower."

"Okay."

A slight nod followed Elsa's reply. Anna bit her bottom lip.

"Don't let the pie burn," she cooed, placing a soft kiss on the blonde's cheek.

She watched as Anna passed her to go to the bathroom. Elsa remained standing there for a little while. She was listening to the sound of water running and Anna's gentle humming. She was listening to the rain pouring outside and the radio playing its quiet tunes from the living room. There was suddenly life in her house again. There was suddenly the smell of salmon pie in the air and lit candles on the coffee table. It felt so peculiar. It felt comfortable, but foreign at the same time.

As the rain kept pouring outside Elsa started to set the table. Anna made it out of the shower just before the pie was finished. The two of them ate at the oval oversized dinner table. There was talking and laughing, and enough of it for them to make them both forget about the outside world for a little while. They were both so engrossed in each other's company that nothing else existed. It was as if they'd found a missing piece in each other. A puzzle piece perhaps. Because everything seemed to fit so perfectly as they sat there and ate Anna's lovely salmon broccoli pie.

After dinner, the two curled up on the couch. They hardly felt like doing the dishes. Besides, Kai was coming tomorrow anyway as Elsa had previously mentioned.

The news were on. Anna disliked watching the news rather much since she mostly thought it was merely a daily reminder that the world could be a really depressing and horrible place to live. Unfortunately, Anna's job required a regular overview on the world situation, so it was essential (despite her dislike) that she kept herself informed. However, the news seemed just a tad less depressing and unmanageable while she was lying on Elsa's chest. Elsa was sitting with the remote in one hand while her other was wrapped around Anna.

"Do you think the world will ever be free of war," Elsa wondered out loud, although it seemed more like a rhetorical question.

Elsa's voice hummed in her chest and Anna could do nothing but enjoy listening to it. That, and her heartbeat. There was just something calming about listening to Elsa's heartbeat. Suddenly Elsa just felt so human. No more of that tough cold façade she'd pulled on Anna all those years. Here she was, her heart beating like any others. Proving that Elsa Christianson was just as human as anybody else.

Anna shook her head, automatically nuzzling closer into Elsa's chest.

"No."

There was a brief silence.

"Me neither."

The TV suddenly became background noise. Neither of them wanted to take part in the outside world anymore, not today at least. They were still enjoying the puzzle piece. Elsa placed a tender kiss on top of Anna's head, letting her lips linger for a while. She was enjoying the scent of strawberry and mango – the bottle of shampoo that Elsa never touched, but for some reason didn't find it surprising that Anna had chosen that scent over the other more subtle aromas.

"Hey, Anna…," the blonde mumbled as she took one of Anna's hands and started playing with her fingers. "…Thanks for being so understanding… I love that I can relax around you. But I'm scared I'm going to mess this up. I'm scared I'll mess this relationship up."

Anna didn't raise her head from Elsa's chest. In fact, she pulled herself closer to the blonde, holding onto her tighter than before.

" Don't be scared…," she mumbled sweetly. "We'll figure it out. Rome wasn't built in one day. I understand that this is sort of Bambi on ice for you."

Elsa leaned her head back until it met the back of the couch.

"You heard," she sighed in defeat.

"I have no idea what you're talking about…, Bambi," the redhead teased, trying to keep a straight face.

The tension had evaporated like dew after the morning sun. Elsa snorted lightly, embracing Anna with both arms and sprinkling kisses all over her face. Perhaps this missing puzzle piece had been all that was needed to complete the picture.


	13. Trust Exercises

**Chapter 13 – Trust Exercises **

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" he voiced.

"Sven, please. It's sweet of you that you're watching out for me, but I have things under control. Elsa and I are trying to work things out, and honestly, so far it's been pretty great."

"But seriously, Anna, do you really trust her?"

That was the question Anna had been asking herself for a while now. Did she trust Elsa. Yes. No. Maybe. She didn't know which one to circle. However, in the end, Anna sadly had to conclude that Elsa still had a lot of mistrust to make up for.

"I want to…. I'm trying," she spoke as she glanced to the floor.

"Are you sure you even should be trying?

"You really don't like Elsa, do you?" the redhead accused, folding her arms over her chest defensively.

"No. I don't. I actually don't like her at all, and I think you could do so much better."

"Luckily, it's not up to you."

"You're right. It's not up to me," the man shot in an almost hostile manner.

"What's with the attitude? To be fair, I appreciate the concern, but I don't need anyone's permission to date her. I want to give Elsa and me a chance to make this work. Actually, I think we kind of owe it to each other after all these years."

"Whatever you say, Boss," Sven retaliated, hardly sparing the redhead a glance.

Anna was baffled by her friend's belligerent demeanor. Her mouth hung slightly agape in complete disbelief and she wondered why her dear friend exhibited such degrading behavior. For a moment, it appeared that Sven realized that he had indeed just spoken in such a disrespectful manner to none other than his boss. An incandescent guilt briefly shone in Sven's eyes, but soon the guilt was replaced by sadness. The man looked to the floor, his strong jawline suddenly tightening up as he was biting down on nothing but air. He swallowed once, the sound of an unnecessary ball of spit travelling nervously down his esophagus broke the maddening silence.

"Hey, what's going on with you?" Anna demanded to know in the sweetest way she could muster. Her hand was already resting soothingly on Sven's arm.

"Tommy left," he uttered bitterly, clearly fighting back the tears.

"Oh my God, Sven…," Anna couldn't help but dart a dainty hand to cover her mouth in shock. "I'm so sorry. What happened?"

A feeling of relief washed over Anna. She felt horrible for her friend, and there was definitely a wave of anger running through her at the thought of Tommy leaving poor Sven. However, Anna couldn't help but think that maybe Sven didn't despise Elsa as much as he had previously displayed. Perhaps Sven's hostile behavior towards Elsa had actually been directed at Tommy the whole time. It was devastating for the redhead to feel the slightest bit of relief at the expense of her friend's misery. But she couldn't help it. People kept telling her over and over again how this thing with Elsa sounded like a risky idea. Anna knew that, when reading between the lines, what people actually meant was 'dating an emotional wreck like Elsa sounds like the worst idea since M. Night Shyamalan started filming _The Last Airbender_. Prepare yourself for an emotional roller coaster ride most likely closely resembling the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster. Your odds are worse than playing Russian roulette.' That wasn't what people said, but that was definitely what Anna heard. It was getting tiresome. She knew her friends just expressed their love and concern for her, but the lack of faith didn't exactly help her situation. She still wasn't sure whether this relationship with Elsa would last. All she knew was that if the relationship _didn't _last, it wasn't because of her lack of trying or commitment.

Sven's expression hardened. Anger being the prominent feature conveyed through his face. Anna felt the urge to hold him tightly and rub his back. Something Sven was highly unlikely to appreciate at said moment.

"He cheated on me," Sven sputtered, clearly on the verge of falling apart entirely.

Anna could hardly believe her own ears. Cheating. According to Anna's book, cheating was perhaps the worst possible thing a person could do to another person (of course apart from the obvious inhumane acts such as murder or rape). Cheating was pretty high up on Anna's list of unforgivable things. She'd been cheated on once before and wasn't strong enough to back away from the relationship until it happened a second time. That's when Anna promised herself, never again would she find it in her heart to forgive a person who'd so knowingly abused her love and trust by falling for the temptation of another lover's embrace.

Anna knew how Sven felt. She knew how stupid he felt for not realizing, how hurt he felt that the person who was supposed to love you unconditionally played with your emotions, and how angry he felt for still loving Tommy despite how little he deserved to be loved.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked, carefully placing a hand on the man's shoulder.

Anna didn't want to dig into Sven's open wound by asking how he found out, or what was going to happen next. She was sure Sven wasn't interested in reliving the event by talking about it just yet. He needed time and Anna was sure he would come to her when the time was right.

"No thank you. I'll be fine. Tommy is staying at a hotel until he finds a new place," he mumbled barely audible.

The look in his eyes. The hurt. It was just too much for Anna. Her heart nearly broke. She couldn't help but brush some imaginary wrinkles out of his tailored vest.

"Take the rest of the day off. I'll fix the paperwork myself. Just go home, take a nice long bath, and be good to yourself. You hear me?"

She reached a finger under his chin to raise his head and make him look at her. His spiky stubble poked the sensitive skin on her fingertip. She gave him an understanding smile. One of those smiles that portrays sympathy along with a hint of reassurance. Reassurance of everything being okay. Anna grabbed Sven's briefcase and stuck it in his hand, gently pushing him out the door.

"Call me if you need anything," she expressed, kissing him once on the cheek before sending him off.

As she watched the man dragging his moc-toe dress shoes over the marble floor she let out a sad sigh. She thought she'd handled the situation well. However, Anna didn't actually have time to go through Sven's paperwork. Actually, she barely had time to do everything she was supposed to today, even without Sven's heavy load of work on her plate.

Anna decided she needed a strong cup of coffee if she was going to make it through the day. Not only was her schedule suddenly at its bursting point, but her mind had so unexpectedly been sowed with a thousand seeds of doubt and apprehension. The thoughts were so painfully blooming inside her head. Thoughts about Elsa and their relationship. Thoughts that shouldn't even be thought, but as Sven had so boldly thrown on the table, did Anna truly trust Elsa yet? Her answer frightened her, because she had never been surer on anything than that she wanted to make this between her and Elsa work. But her answer was still _no. _She did not trust Elsa. And what if in two weeks Anna was going through the exact same thing as Sven and Tommy? The thought of it hurt, and what hurt even more was that Anna was even thinking it. That she would even consider the fact that Elsa could cheat. Or could she?

… No.

Elsa couldn't cheat. She couldn't. She just wasn't the type that drowned her sorrows and problems in the arms of another lover. Elsa was many things but a cheater wasn't one of them, Anna was sure of this. Albeit Elsa was without a doubt the type of person who hid from her problems, ran from them even, she would never intentionally hurt her in any that way.

Anna set off towards the common room, desperately needing that coffee now more than ever. It was almost comical how seeing another relationship fail could cause such doubts and thoughts to arise in regards to one's own relationship. She rubbed her temples briefly and exhaled loudly as she kept walking with determined strides - her heels clicking against the floor with each confident step - towards that cup of coffee that couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

Elsa stood in the common room carefully pouring herself a cup of coffee. Mug in hand, she walked to window to admire the view. Skyscrapers stuck up like matchsticks beneath her feet, so majestically dominating the city with its concrete skyline. She couldn't decide whether she was feeling a little small or the view made her feel on top of the world. Both, she guessed. Feeling on top of the world kind of reminds you that the world is a pretty big place still. For a second, she actually found herself smiling as she looked out the window. She was smiling because she'd just realized and acknowledged that she was appreciating some of the good things in her life. Such as her workplace. She felt privileged and blessed by getting to come to work to this every day and this was the first time in a very long time Elsa had actually been proud of herself. Soon she remembered that not only did she currently stand in the penthouse of one of the tallest buildings in the industrial part of New York, but she was also currently in a romantic relationship with another person. If that didn't make her smile, Elsa didn't know what else could.

"Hey, Bambi," a voice sounded from behind her, ripping her away from her thoughts. "Haven't seen one of those on your lips for quite some time. I forgot how pretty you look when you smile," Astrid continued as she took a sip of her coffee while eying Elsa over the cup.

Elsa snorted lightly. With a single shoulder shrug she tangled both hands around her mug. Astrid joined her by the window. They stood in silence, both continuously taking tiny sips of their bitter black coffees.

Astrid looked good, Elsa noted. She looked well rested and as happy as usual.

"You know you're my best friend, right?" Elsa asked all of a sudden.

"Of course I'm your best friend. Who else do you know with such dazzling personality?"

Elsa smiled quietly to herself. Things were back to normal.

Finally.

It'd taken Astrid a few weeks to come around. Not that she hadn't been there for Elsa. Actually, their relationship seemed no different than from before Elsa told Astrid about the incident with Hans. However, deep down, Elsa knew she'd walked all over her friend. She knew Astrid had this whole act going on on the outside, but beneath the surface, Astrid was profoundly hurt by the way Elsa had acted. For the first time in weeks, Elsa finally felt like everything was back to normal.

"You know I'm sorry, right?" the taller woman had to ask.

Astrid to another sip, balancing casually on her heels with one hand buried deep in her pocket.

"I know. And you know you can't apologize forever, right?"

"I know."

"Well, good thing we got that sorted out. Now give me a million dollars and we can call it even."

"How about a piece of gum?"

"A piece of gum will suffice, too," Astrid replied with a nonchalant shrug and accepted the offering.

The two women fell into a comfortable silence. Elsa had missed this. This relationship where she could just relax and not think. Soon the sound of a pair of heels clacking against the floor interrupted them. In walked Anna, her freckled cheeks looking a little more red than usual. For a moment, she looked upset but as soon as her eyes connected with Elsa's the sadness was gone, as if Anna's face was a sun that had just broken through the heavy layer of grey clouds. She approached the blondes, her hips swaying with every step she took.

"Hey, you," the redhead said, grabbing the edge of Elsa's blazer with one hand. Skillfully, she planted a quick kiss on the corner of Elsa's mouth. "Hey, Astrid," Anna turned around and said with a sweet smile. Astrid nodded in response. Elsa and Anna looked at each other with joy in their eyes.

"I'll leave you guys to it," Astrid said with a slight tuck on her lips. She raised her cup towards the couple as she backed out of the room and set off to somewhere. Elsa was thankful that Astrid knew when to leave. She definitely knew how to make an exit.

"Did I interrupt something?" Anna asked worriedly.

"No. No, not at all. I'm happy to see you," the blonde stated reassuringly, kissing Anna gently on the cheek.

The gesture made the redhead smile and she stepped a few inches closer to Elsa. Elsa didn't hesitate in resting a hand on Anna's hip. She couldn't deny she loved this whole scene, her hand on Anna's hip, and Anna's holding tightly onto her blazer pulling her closer. Anna cleared her throat as she corrected the collar of Elsa's jacket.

"Listen, I'm going to be held up at work for a while, so why don't you just take my keys and let yourself in tonight? You're welcome to use the tub in my room; you got the whole castle all to yourself," her girlfriend spoke.

"Are you sure? We can always reschedule. I don't want to stress you out."

"Yes, I'm sure. It would be nice to come home to somebody since Marie and Merida are out. Plus, I kind of like the idea of us being all alone at my place for once."

Anna slid a hand down Elsa's arm, over her elbow, and further down until she finally reached her hand. Their fingers intertwined. Elsa lifted their intertwined fingers to kiss the back of Anna's hand.

"Alright then. I'll leave the door unlocked for you."

Thinking this was the end of their conversation Elsa leaned down for a kiss. Anna reciprocated but refused to release Elsa's hands as the blonde was on her way her office. The taller woman turned her attention back towards Anna and looked at her with a questioning gaze.

"Oh… one more thing. I was thinking…," the redhead began carefully. "Do you want me to come with you to the hospital on Sunday?" she asked uncertainly.

The question caught Elsa by surprise. Her sapphire blue eyes widened at once and the hand that had once rested peacefully in Anna's was now tense and clammy. It seemed that Anna noticed the struggle on Elsa's face, because she quickly added, "You don't have to make up your mind right now. Just think about it."

With that, Anna pulled Elsa down for another quick peck on the lips (a kiss Elsa hardly seemed present during) and walked towards the coffeemaker at the other end of the common room.

Elsa didn't know what to think. What was she supposed to think? The two of them had hardly been dating for a month, was she really ready to let Anna see this side of her? This emotional wreck. This broken side of her that she had showed no one but Astrid. She thought about this all the way home to Anna's apartment. She thought about it as she filled up the tub with steamy hot water. She thought about it as she was getting undressed, and as she lowered herself into the tub. She thought about it until there was nothing left to think about. Until there were but until two simple answers she could choose from: Yes or no. It didn't have to be so complicated. If Elsa wasn't ready then Anna would understand, she was positive of that. Although, if she ever did reach a conclusion, and the conclusion happened to be a yes, then that would be one of the most boundary-breaking, soul-tearingly scary things she'd have to endure. Opening up was hard. Especially for Elsa.

As Elsa was playing with the foamy layer of soap that had settled upon the surface of the water she thought she had heard a knock on the door. It was quite odd, because hadn't she already told Anna that she would leave the door unlocked for her? Another knock sounded and Elsa pulled herself out of the comforting water and wrapped herself in a towel. The knocking was becoming intense now. In just a towel, Elsa opened the door.

"We're here!" A woman with bright red hair exclaimed happily at the top of her lungs.

Startled, Elsa looked at the two strangers in front of her. The woman was wearing a smile so wide it looked like she'd gotten a hanger stuck in her mouth. The man next to her didn't smile nearly as bright, or maybe he was, Elsa's couldn't tell over the magnificent mustache that occupied most of his upper lip. He was wearing one of those ridiculous "I heart NY" caps.

However, after a few short seconds the two people in front of her weren't strangers anymore. No, Elsa had definitely seen these two souls before. It only really hit her that she was standing half-naked in front of Anna's parents when Mrs. Albright asked for Anna.

"Goodness, Marie! You should really put some clothes on, dear, you look freezing!" The older woman laughed.

The pair stepped inside without waiting for an invitation. Elsa took a few steps back. She closed the door behind them as more of a panic response than common courtesy. She made sure to wrap her arms over her chest tightly, assuring her cleavage was well-hidden beneath the towel.

"Where is Anna? In her room?" Mrs. Albright asked eagerly, clearly longing to see her daughter.

"Anna actually isn't here yet," Elsa mumbled embarrassedly.

As soon as the words escaped Elsa's lips the tension in the room seemed to shift. The Albrights suddenly took a closer look at Elsa, their stares closely resembling the fascination of a child watching the lions at the zoo.

"Wait a minute," Mrs. Albright announced. "You're not Marie," she came to realize.

Elsa didn't know what to say or do, she could do nothing but stand frozen to the floor as she desperately clutched the towel tighter around herself.

"Oh my goodness…," the older woman whispered. "Elsa Christianson! Is that you!"

Clearly, it wasn't a question because the woman had already wrapped Elsa in an embrace that, for obvious reasons, Elsa couldn't reciprocate.

"Hello, Mrs. Albright," Elsa mumbled awkwardly.

"How are you, my dear? Look at you! So beautiful! What are you doing here? I didn't know you and Anna still saw each other! Oh how wonderful!" The woman cheered gleefully.

Elsa allowed Mrs. Albright to ramble on for another minute or two before she so politely interrupted her.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go get changed. But make yourselves at home while I get dressed and call Anna for you."

Anna's mother hummed as she announced she would go make coffee in the meantime. Mr. Albright was already dozing off on one of the couches, which Elsa was so utterly grateful for. Before she even considered throwing on her clothes she had already dialed Anna's number. She picked up on the second ring.

"_Hey, Beautiful, I'll just need a another hour at the office then I'll be on my-_"

"Anna, your _parents_ are here!" she hissed, pure and utter panic evident in her voice. Poor Elsa, she never had been good with parents.

"_Wait, what?"_

"Your parents. They're here!"

There was silence on the line for a little while. Then realization struck.

"_Oh no. No no no no! I totally forgot!"_

"What do I do?!" Elsa panicked.

"_Just relax, I'm on my way. I'll bring take-out. Just stall them, please_," Anna said in an attempt to calm down her girlfriend.

"Anna, I'm not sure I can-"

"_Please, Elsa. I need you_," she interrupted_. _"_Besides, you know them. Just talk about old days and I'll be there before you know it._"

"Fine," the older woman relented. "But please hurry."

"_Thank you_," Anna sighed in relief._ "But you should know they don't know about us. I haven't told them yet."_

"Okay, good to know. I really don't want to be the one to break it to them though."

"_I'll handle it later; just make sure my dad doesn't start on the whole football talk. You'll never hear the end of it."_

Elsa sat down on Anna's bed resisting the urge to curl into a ball and just lay there until Anna came home. But no. She had to pull it together. She needed to be there for Anna. This was what a good girlfriend would do. She needed to prove she could be a good girlfriend. A worthy one. A _trust_worthy one.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit," Elsa sighed, rubbing her temple with her free hand. She felt a headache creeping on.

"_See you soon. I love you,_" it sounded on the other end.

It was quiet on the line. Elsa's eyes shot open. Oh goodness. That probably wasn't supposed to have happened.

"What?" Elsa breathed, surely not believing she had heard correctly.

"_I-I mean, um. Nothing! Bad-connection-got-to-go, bye!_"

The line disconnected.

What had just happened? Elsa surely didn't know. All she knew was the she needed to put on some pants, and she needed to do it fast. The Albrights were waiting and she needed to do this for Anna.


	14. I Guess I Love You

**Chapter 14 – I Guess I Love You**

The clock hanging on the wall was ticking. In fact, it wasn't_ just_ ticking. It was counting down the seconds to Anna's arrival home and it was counting them _loudly_. So loud, in fact, that it was the dominating sound filling up the entirety of the living room. Or perhaps it was because the ticking had nothing to overpower it. There were no other sounds to compete with, not unless you counted the low humming coming from the refrigerator all the way from the kitchen. The ticking had to break through the silence all by itself, so of course every tick sounded like a gunshot going off.

Elsa was secretly wishing that said firearm would put her out of her misery and just shoot her in the head already. How could any situation be so excruciatingly awkward? She'd been in jail for no more than three straight hours where a total number of four women had peed in front of her while staring directly at her (hell, some even continued to lead a conversation while they were on the loo), still this was far more anxiety evoking.

The Albrights were slurping their decaf coffees on the couch. Elsa was anxiously sitting across from them, no beverage in hand since she presumed that caffeine would only result in her nerves being set more on edge. The Albrights didn't say much. Mrs. Albright apparently had nothing more to say. Admittedly, Elsa was perhaps at fault since her replies merely consisted of nods and singled word answers.

She was dodging their questions skillfully, but careful not to appear like the stone-hearted and arrogant character Anna had had the displeasure of suffering through the first couple of weeks after Elsa's arrival at Frost &amp; Co. The urge to go hyperventilate in Anna's room had to be deeply suppressed, because wouldn't that just look lovely? Elsa thought not. If Anna had any plans in a nearby future to reveal their relationship to her parents this needed to go well. It was vital that Elsa retained some sort of sanity during this mere hour waiting for Anna. What would it look like if Elsa went having a breakdown next door while her girlfriend's parents were waiting in the next room?

Elsa dried the sweat in her palms off on her pants. She sat so straight you should've thought someone was holding a gun to her spine. The headache she feared sneaking up on her was already well on its way, her jaw so flexed causing said headache.

"So…," Elsa began, but quickly ran out of things to say.

What could she do to make this easier on herself? Why were these people so much more intimidating that any high ranked CEO she had ever had the misfortune to sit across from? Maybe it was because they were a piece of her past. They knew too much. Not nearly enough, but still too much according to Elsa's paranoid mind.

There was an itching silence between the three of them. Despite Anna's rambling waterfall of a mother, Mrs. Albright had run out things to say. A rare occurrence, Elsa noted, if she remembered correctly. Perchance it really were Elsa's flat replies that stifled the conversation. Or perhaps the woman simply had nothing more to share. The world surely had witnessed stranger things than Anna's mother running out of things to talk about. Elsa knew that wasn't true though, and she had to realize her defeat that she simply wasn't capable of carrying through a normal conversation.

But what if she did pretended that she was in a meeting? What if Mr. and Mrs. Albright were suddenly the heads of a massive firm? That could work. All she had to do was turn up the charm and smooth-talk them. She did this daily. Sucking up to people who certainly didn't deserve the ass-kissing, but that was all just a part of the business game. Knowing when and when not to shut up, knowing that being nice wasn't always what got you to the top, but lies and dirty tricks.

"How's everything back in Arendelle? It must've been quite a trip to get here," Elsa uttered with a sudden strike of confidence.

Arendelle. It'd been so long since she'd even spared her birth town a thought. Elsa wasn't sure whether she even wanted to spare it a thought. Did she even have any happy memories left from that place? Of course, she had. Someone just needed to remind her. That someone being Anna. Anna had reminded Elsa of how great she used to have it as a child. Before her dad was sent off to war, before adulthood hit her too soon and the responsibility that followed.

She remembered the family barbeques, the bike rides to the lake during the summer and the town festivals that lasted all night. She remembered the day Anna and her family moved in across the street. Elsa was fifteen when she saw the moving truck pull in on the opposite side of the road. She'd offered to help carry Anna's bed to her new room. That was the first and last time she had been in the Albright's house.

"You know, same old same old. There's a lot of construction in town lately, it's rather noisy. I assume you know they're closing down your old high school fairly soon. They're building a mall instead!"

"No, I wasn't aware of that," Elsa mumbled in return.

It was hard to believe they were tearing down her and Anna's old school. A lot of memories roamed in that building, some good and plenty bad. Arendelle without their old high school seemed weird. Not that she had been to any of the reunions, or visited ever since she left with her mother. But somehow, it still hurt to know a piece of your childhood didn't exist anymore. Why'd she opened the door to her past like this? This was surprisingly painful.

"A lot of people are moving actually. The town is apparently a bit too quiet for most," Mrs. Albright spoke. Elsa hoped she wouldn't continue, but Mrs. Albright did, and if she thought knowing her school was being torn down was surprisingly painful, then what was to come was a million times worse. "Your old house still looks beautiful. A young couple just moved in a few weeks ago, they're painting it yellow! Can you believe it? What a distasteful color. The house looked so much more gorgeous with the rose bushes like your mom used to have them. Anna missed you so dearly when you were gone. It's been so long since I've said hello to your mom. How're your folks, dear?"

The thought of a miserable, angry, betrayed Anna filled Elsa's mind. _Anna missed you so dearly when you were gone._ As if Mrs. Albright wasn't the least bit resentful about the fact that the Christianson's had just picked up and left without as much as a goodbye. Elsa couldn't get the image of a young Anna laying on her bed – the bed she so sweetly had helped carry to her room so many year ago – crying her eyes out over the lies and deceptions Elsa had pulled her through. She wondered if the Albrights knew about their relationship back in high school. She wondered if Mrs. Albright had been the one to scrape up Anna's pieces after Elsa had so mindlessly left without saying goodbye. The thought of it made Elsa's stomach turn. There wasn't enough self-loathing in this world to describe how abject Elsa felt. The words Anna had uttered only an hour earlier felt even more unreal so suddenly. _I love you_. Three words. One lie. Anna surely couldn't have meant it when she had said it. It had to have been a reflex of some sort.

Silence fell over the three people gathered around the coffee table. Elsa could only stare at her hands as the question slowly fell to the ground by the lack of will to respond. What was the point even? Anna surely didn't love Elsa, and Elsa was quite convinced that she never would.

Luckily, like on cue, Anna busted through the door with a bag of Indian food in each hand and her purse tucked under her arm.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" she exclaimed.

They all rose from their seats as she walked through the door, all three of them probably secretly relieved that the fourth, and missing, piece had arrived to eliminate the awkward tension. Never had Elsa been so happy to see a person in her life. Her shoulders visually dropped as she rushed to Anna's aid, grabbing the bags of food so that Anna could go say hello to her parents. Without realizing it, or perhaps realizing it too late, Anna went in for a kiss as Elsa reached over to relieve her from the bags. Quick on her feet, Elsa turned her head just in time so that the passion-filled kiss on the lips swiftly transformed into a platonic peck on the cheek between friends.

Realizing her mistake Anna's eyes widened, her head clearly not where it should be at the moment.

"I'll set the table. Go tell your parents hello," Elsa rushed to say.

Mrs. Albright didn't hesitate in throwing her arms around her daughter as soon as she got the chance. The older woman started to talk the poor girl's ear off while Anna so eagerly tried to untangle herself from her mother's embrace. Obviously, it was a lost cause. Before Elsa left the room, their eyes connected. Anna mouthed a subtle thank you, sending her one of the most grateful smiles she'd ever witnessed.

Before they knew it, all four were gathered around the dinner table. Poor Elsa could hardly muster eating any of the delicious food in front of her. Her stomach was a knot, although having Anna here made it easier. She'd tried escaping, but Mrs. Albright insisted that she stayed for dinner.

"Anna, you didn't mention that you were still in touch with Elsa _Christianson_," Mrs. Albright expressed, making sure to pronounce Elsa's last name with double the emphasis, as if she knew a thousand other Elsas.

"I guess I must've forgotten to mention it," Anna reasoned as she looked towards her girlfriend who was clearly just longing to get through this horrible dinner in one piece.

"Well, tell me! How'd you two get in touch?"

Thankfully, these questions were still focused on the present. However, Elsa knew, and dreaded, that the questions would soon take a 180 degree turn and shed light on some yet unexplained events from the their past.

Anna saw the misery in Elsa's eyes. The fear and shame. Discreetly, Anna lowered a hand under the table and carefully took hold of Elsa's. The blonde didn't hesitate in tangling their fingers together, letting herself be comforted by the warmth and security Anna's touch provided.

"We actually work together. Elsa landed a job at Frost &amp; Co. almost two months ago. We needed a pair of engineers to help us with our upcoming project, and Elsa and her partner turned out to be the firm we hired."

"How wonderful," Mr. Albright beamed as soon as he heard that Elsa was indeed an engineer, and a successful one at that.

A sense of pride shot through the blonde. Somehow, Mr. Albright's approval meant a great deal to her. She took a swig of water trying to calm her nerves.

Mrs. Albright however looked rather perplexed.

"Partner as in _business_ partner or…?" Anna's mother spoke, confusion obvious in her voice.

The sip of water she'd her held in her mouth suddenly decided to travel down the wrong pipe, sending sweet Elsa choking on a few stupid drops of liquid. Mrs. Albright looked slightly amused as she watched Elsa's cheeks grow red.

"_Just_ business partner, Mom," Anna quickly clarified.

"Sorry, just asking, my dear. I was just being curious," Mrs. Albright laughed.

As the blonde kept coughing, grabbing tighter around Anna's hand, she couldn't help but wonder whether Anna's parents even knew about their daughter's preferences when it came to romantic partners.

"Some questions would be appreciated if saved for later," the freckled girl muttered under her breath.

"How are you, Anna? Are you seeing anybody? How is that handsome Jimmy fella' doing?" Mr. Albright engaged, clearly figuring a change of topic seemed fit.

A blush crept upon the redhead's cheeks. Anna's freckles quickly vanished as her face adapted a more rouge complexion. The hand in Elsa's grip tensed. An insecure glance was shot in Elsa's direction, a look she didn't need to see, she decided. They'd both had relationships before, they'd just never had the chance to talk about them. Being Elsa, she very much wished that they avoided talking about such unpleasantries. Jealousy was an ugly feeling, but Elsa was often plagued by this nasty emotion whenever it came to relationships. Talking about past relationships wouldn't bring anything good out in her.

Elsa gently started caressing the top of Anna's hand with her thumb.

"Jimmy and I split up," she stated uncomfortably.

"Oh, that's too bad. Seeing anyone else lately?" her father continued.

This dinner could very easily, and very fast, go from disastrous to catastrophic. It was all up to Anna now. Elsa waited in anticipation.

"No. I'm not seeing anyone at the moment," the redhead affirmed.

"Oh, Honey, I'm sure you'll meet someone lovely real soon," her mother comforted.

Anna had made the decision of not sharing the news about her and Elsa. In her mind, Elsa supported the decision. Yet, something made her not want to hold her hand any longer. The redhead immediately sensed that her touch was suddenly unwanted. It made her heart tremble knowing Elsa had to witness her denying their relationship to her parents as if it didn't even exist. But what did Elsa expect, honestly? That after all the hurt she'd caused Anna, and only a month of dating to make up for it, she'd confess her love to her in front of her parents?

"So where are you guys staying this time?" Anna asked, trying to create a diversion and carry the conversation towards something less complicated.

"Same hotel as always, darling," her father spoke.

The dinner went on for another hour or two. Elsa was awfully quiet the remainder of the evening. It wasn't until the Albrights left she even as much as casted a glance towards her girlfriend.

As soon as Anna had shut the door, she turned her back to it, leaned against it, and slid to the floor.

"That was exhausting," she sighed hopelessly.

The blonde said nothing. No response. But the lack of response spoke for itself. The silence was killing Anna. The redhead got to her feet and walked towards her girlfriend. Elsa had wrapped her arms around herself, appearing to be spacing out. Anna knew that wasn't the case though. She was well aware that Elsa was very much about to close in on herself, and she needed to stop her.

Anna walked to her, failing miserably in catching the blonde's gaze.

So tauntingly ticking on the wall the clock stroke eleven. The gunshots were back. Louder than ever. Shooting Elsa right in the heart for each second that passed. She couldn't do this. How did people deal with all these emotions at the same time? It was just so much easier to shut them out. To simply not feel them at all. How did people survive this?

"Talk to me," Anna whispered, slowly untangling Elsa from her own embrace.

They were leaning against the back of the couch. The blonde had a staring match with the floor.

"Elsa. Talk to me. You need to say something. Tell me what's bothering you. I know this was quite a mouthful for you…. Say something."

As if Elsa suddenly snapped back to reality she shot up and dismissively tore herself from Anna's gasp. Frantically she searched for her coat and other belongings as Anna stood helplessly watching her do so.

"I've got nothing to say. I think I better go," she muttered under her breath.

Anna had just about had it. She wasn't angry, but the night surely hadn't been pleasant for her either. Inhaling a big breath of air helped her collect her thoughts. This was where she had to step up and help Elsa out with this relationship. This was where the hard work began.

"Don't you dare," she spoke. The redhead walked to the door, locked it, and took off her heels.

"But Anna-"

"I don't care," she interrupted. "This is how relationships work. If there's something wrong, we talk it out. Okay?"

Cupping the blonde's cheeks, she placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Come sit with me."

She patted the empty sofa cushion next to her twice before curling her legs up beneath herself. Elsa stared at her for a moment. Every fiber in her being resisted her, never allowing her to let her feel the love she so truly deserved, according to Anna. Finally, she caved in, gracefully moving around the couch and planting herself next to her girlfriend with a safe distance. It hurt Anna to see Elsa purposely placing herself with an arm's length between them. Stubbornly, she grabbed the blonde's hand, deciding that this wouldn't work without a loving touch to emphasize her words.

"I'm sorry tonight ended this way. By the look on your face, I assume my parents tried to dig up some stuff that you've worked hard on burying… but I'm really grateful that you stayed. You were really amazing tonight."

The older woman sighed tiredly, perceptibly disagreeing with every word Anna had just said.

"I blew it. We both know that. Stop pretending like I did a good job on stalling your parents."

"Okay fine, admittedly that part could've gone better. But you _tried_, Elsa. You did your best, and I can't ask anymore of you."

Anna moved closer. Elsa almost flinched, automatically leaning away slightly. She didn't know why Anna's touch felt so alien to her so suddenly. Maybe it was because she felt unworthy of her touch. Their hands still rested intertwined in Anna's lap. The redhead decided she would have to settle for what she could get, although she was heartbroken that her girlfriend couldn't even seem to touch her.

"Is this about what I said earlier? Lying about us to my parents?"

Elsa shook her head.

"No. I understood why you did what you did. It wasn't the right time and place. I'm mean, we're still working things out. Maybe it would be good to keep it a secret for a little while…." Elsa's words sounded cold and rehearsed. She'd thought about this reply during dinner, obviously.

"Then what is, Els?" Anna mumbled sweetly to her as she brushed Elsa's hair behind her ear.

A tear rolled down Elsa's cheek. The redhead wasn't surprised when she noticed the tiny drop of sadness travel down her face. Anna scooted closer, wrapping her arms around Elsa and pulling her down to her chest.

"You did really great today… my dad really loved you. I saw how he lit up when he found out you were an engineer and doing so well for yourself. It's pretty hard to impress my dad. As for my mother…," Anna sighed loudly. "I'm quite sure she knows about us to be honest. She didn't ask about your partner for no reason, I know my mom, she's sneaky like that. Plus, she knew about us in high school, so I guess she thinks we're dating or just fooling around or something. I mean, you answered the door in a towel for Christ sake," she snorted.

A smile vanished almost as soon as it appeared on the blonde's lips.

"You told her…?" the blonde mumbled into her chest, oddly enough finding comfort in Anna's heartbeat.

"Of course I did, Silly. She's my mom. I tell her pretty much everything."

For the first time that night, Elsa finally felt at ease. The sound of Anna's heartbeat so lively beating beneath her ear just did something to her. A smile crept upon her lips. She thought it was sweet she shared stuff like that, stuff like Elsa, with her mother. However, an unsettling feeling slowly grew in the pit of her stomach. A question she couldn't seem to find a logical answer to. Why wasn't Mrs. Albright mad at her? She'd used her daughter, and despite deeply caring for her, hurt her beyond belief. How could she have looked her in the eyes tonight and smiled as if she was a long lost daughter who'd just returned home?

"Tell me what you're thinking," the redhead wanted to know.

Elsa nuzzled in closer to her. Anna's embrace felt too safe, too comforting, to break free from.

"How come your mother doesn't hate me?"

The question hung in the air for a little while. She couldn't believe she'd actually dared ask. This was so unlike her. Usually she would just let such questions gnaw on her until time would make them seem irrelevant.

"She really liked you back then, you know? She thought you were the sweetest kid. I think my mom always saw right through you. She's pretty determined on seeing the good in people. After you left, she kept trying to convince me that she was sure you had your reasons…. Our moms used to talk a lot, did you know that? She probably sensed that things weren't well at your house."

Anna kissed the top of her head. One kiss lead to two. Soon she couldn't resist any longer. She pulled Elsa up for a real kiss. The kiss was filled with pity, Elsa could taste it. But it didn't bother her for some reason. She just kissed her back, sliding a hand over the nape of Anna's neck to pull her closer. A kiss could come with so many things. Heartbreak. Lust. Even sadness. This was a sad kiss. Anna was trying to kiss away Elsa's past. So far it was working. The kiss grew happier for every second their lips rested upon each other's. Their hands didn't wander, this wasn't that type of kiss.

Elsa was the first to pull away. They rested their foreheads against each other. Their eyes were closed. Noses touching. Wanting to kiss again, but knew they probably shouldn't unless they wanted to end up naked between the sheets together. They didn't want that yet.

"Look… about what I said on the phone earlier…," Anna started but wasn't sure how to finish it. For once, she had no way of talking her way around something. "It just… sort of… slipped."

Elsa opened her eyes faintly.

"Did you mean it…?" The blonde dared to ask.

It was now Anna's turn to lean on Elsa. She repositioned herself to lean her head on Elsa's chest, reaching an arm over the blonde's stomach, and pulling herself close. This was a two-way relationship. Comfort worked both ways. Admittedly, Elsa really liked taking the role as the comforter. She wanted to protect the girl in resting in her arms. It gave her a sense of purpose. The older woman slouched her legs up on the coffee table, leaning into Anna's touch. The redhead's hand started drawing circles on Elsa's stomach.

"Yes. I meant it…," she whispered quietly.

The clock started ticking again. Silence fell upon the two. However, the ticking didn't feel like gunshots any longer. Elsa wished she could stop time. She wished she could feel what she was feeling at that moment forever. The feeling of being told you're loved. The feeling of being told you're loved by the person you love back. Never had she experience a greater feeling. This was the outmost of feelings. The Mona Lisa of feelings. If only this feeling could last forever, she thought.

"But it's way too soon," the younger girl continued.

A lump settled in Elsa's throat. She didn't know what she had expected. That Anna would just love her without complications?

"Agreed. Way too soon," the older woman agreed half-heartedly. A hint of doubt hidden in her words. She didn't want to agree, but society's rules and norms told her to agree.

"I shouldn't have said it. I mean we_ just_ starting dating, that'd be crazy!"

Another pause. They both felt it – the pause. There was doubt between them.

"Or… is it?" The blonde raised.

"I… I don't know."

"I mean, it's not like we _just_ met. We've know each other since high school…."

"Right, apart from those eight years in between high school and now. But sure. What's eight years right?"

"You know that's not what I meant. All I'm saying is… maybe it's not too soon."

Anna pulled back to get a better look at her.

"You're not ready to say it back. I can see it in your eyes."

"It's just… there's so much you don't know…," Elsa let out.

"What don't I know? Tell me. These secrets between us… they're what's keeping us apart."

Elsa rubbed Anna's back. Sweetly, she planted a kiss on top of the red locks resting on her chest.

"Another time. I promise. Just not tonight."

The redhead nodded in silent agreement. They sat for a moment, recovering from the day's stressful events.

"Wait… did my parents say anything about you being half naked when you opened the door?" Anna suddenly grinned.

"Well… you know your mom. Always asking questions," she shrugged.

"What'd you tell her?"

"That I enjoy sneaking into people's apartment to take long hot baths and use their expensive lotions," Elsa replied in all her girlish innocence.

"Okay, what did you _really_ tell them?"

"That my shower is broken. And that I'm sleeping with their daughter."

Anna chuckled, gently patting Elsa twice on the stomach.

"Wow, Elsa Christianson can actually joke around. Who knew that could happen; I thought hell would freeze over before this day would come."

"Hey, that faceguard thing was at least a little funny."

"Yeah, you sure know how to make a girl feel special," the younger girl grinned, pecking Elsa lightly on the cheek before settling back into her arms.


	15. Truths

**Chapter 15 – Truths**

"How about these ones, Babe?" she wondered as she held the bright, fluffy pillow up in front of her, carefully examining its fluffiness trying to decide whether this would be acceptable to fall asleep on.

"Pink? Really?"

"Well, what colors _do_ you like, then?" the redhead challenged, clearly finding it difficult to please her girlfriend when it came to décor.

"I told you, colors make too much noise," the blonde sighed again, for the tenth time within an hour Anna noted, "Is this really necessary?"

"You can't keep living a completely colorless life in that dull apartment. It's like walking into a black and white movie whenever you open the front door."

"Maybe I like it that way," Elsa shot with a hint of a grin on her lips.

"Oh come _on_! How can you look at this and _not_ smile?"

Elsa looked at the pillow again. It had butterflies on it. It was absolutely hideous. The pillows made everything around them look beautiful, which said a lot since they were placed on a pastel lime-green colored leather chaise longue standing on a matching carpet. You should've thought they'd gotten lost in the kid's section of IKEA, but Elsa was surprised that it was actually full-grown adults who bought these kinds of distasteful things.

Elsa grabbed the pillow from Anna's embrace. She sighed once, looked it over one final time with eyes that would've puked if they could, before throwing it into the shopping cart.

"If it makes you happy," she smiled and kissed Anna's temple. Anna immediately smiled a wide ear-to-ear smile before grabbing Elsa's hand so they could move along.

Wow. Elsa was really getting the hang of this girlfriend thing. If a simple gesture, such as allowing Anna to buy new pillows for her, would make her happy, then Elsa surely could live with that sacrifice. Yeah, Elsa was catching on. Learning to meet Anna halfway at times when disagreements seemed to be never-ending. It was called a compromise and Elsa actually quite liked how compromises worked. Because, by the end of the day, Elsa truly didn't care whether her pillows were bright pink with butterflies or grey. If they were good pillows, soft and fluffy, they could've been made out of water balloons and duct tape for all she cared. Elsa knew that as soon as they got home she wouldn't even notice the color anymore.

Elsa was growing with the task of this relationship, and surprisingly, so was Anna. Anna was still trying really hard not to let her own happiness be outshone by her partner's. It was something to get used to. However, Elsa made it easy. Behind the closed doors of their confined apartments, Elsa was a real human being. There was no façade, no rock-hard shell Anna needed to break through. She was caring and kind and gentle, and that was the Elsa that Anna fell in love with in high school. The girl who helped her dad carry her bed to her new room.

If there was one thing Anna had learned about Elsa these past two months, it was that Elsa truly cared for her. She cared so much it hurt sometimes, and Anna was thrilled to for once have a relationship with someone who was as much in love with her as she was with them. It was refreshing, because Anna had a tendency to simply throw all her love at this one person who more than often wouldn't reciprocate the feelings. At least not to the same extent as Anna.

"What about these?" Elsa asked, kissing the back of Anna's hand before letting it go.

"You sure you don't want anything with more color?" Anna suggested as she leaned into Elsa from behind, resting her hands on her hips, while her thumbs lovingly drew circles on Elsa's hipbones.

"We're making my place cozier, not shopping for a kindergarten," Elsa pointed out, turned her head quickly to peck a kiss on Anna's cheek.

"I guess you're right," the redhead responded and snaked her arms around her girlfriend. "White candles are more romantic anyway."

"So you agree on these?"

"Well, it's your place, Els. You can pick whatever you want," the younger girl shrugged.

"Yeah, but your opinion matters to me. A lot. You know that."

Elsa turned in Anna's embrace. They both smiled, Elsa never as generous with her smiles as Anna, but when she finally did smile it was from the heart. Carefully, Anna leaned in and graced her lips against Elsa's. Of course, the redhead knew Elsa wasn't much for affection in public. Unless they were at a club where everyone danced, holding hands and sneaking a quick kiss on the cheek once in a while was as far as Elsa's comfort zone stretched. Cupping the redhead's cheek Elsa leaned away, looking at her girlfriend lovingly.

"Do you really want to be caught making out in IKEA right now? I thought we were 'professionals'," the blonde teased using air-quotes.

Boundaries were something Anna held dearly, and she was determined on respecting Elsa's fully. Especially after knowing how sensitive Elsa was to certain things and subjects, an example being her mother. Elsa still hadn't given Anna an answer on whether she would like her to accompany her on Sunday. She'd decided she didn't want to push the matter any further. If time was what Elsa needed, then time was what Elsa would get. Besides, they'd both had enough of parents after the unexpected visit from the Albrights.

The two untangled themselves from each other's embrace, proceeding to the checkout. Elsa was steering the shopping cart with one hand so that she could hold Anna's in the other.

"Listen, I'm having a late lunch with my parents today," the redhead started, suddenly remembering to let Elsa in on her plans for the remainder of the day. "It's their last day before they're leaving and you're welcome to join if you'd like. But I understand if you're not up for it. I just wanted to let you know that I'm planning on telling them about us today. It's up to you whether you feel like you should be there."

Elsa thought about it for a minute. Well, she pretended to think about it at least, despite her mind being made up already.

"I think I'm going to sit this one out, if you don't mind. I have a lot of paperwork to do…."

"You don't have to give me any excuses. It's completely fine if you don't want to go. I understand, paperwork or no paperwork."

Anna's words made her feel a sense of relief. It had just been a lousy excuse to avoid seeming rude. Although, Anna was ensuring her that there was nothing rude about it. They both knew the previous encounter that week hadn't exactly been in Elsa's favor.

It was quiet for a little moment between them.

"So you're really going to tell your parents?"

"Yep. That's the plan."

"What do you think your dad is going to say?"

They both started to walk a bit slower. Anna drew their intertwined hand towards her, holding onto Elsa's hand with both of hers.

"I don't think he's going to say anything really. I know he likes you, and I know my mom hasn't told him about us when we were in high school. I guess all he knew was how upset I was after you left, although, I'm not sure he knew exactly why I was so upset…."

Something turned in Elsa's stomach. It was that overruling feeling of guilt, and it was back again. Listening to Anna telling her how much she'd hurt after she abandoned her sent currents of anxiety through her blood. At the same time, how could Elsa ever regret leaving? Staying in that house, in that life, would've surely had had a more disastrous outcome than leaving. She had to keep telling herself that, because that was what Anna kept telling her. That the only thing she'd wished Elsa had done differently was having said goodbye, and perhaps giving her the truth or stuck her a lie. Anna never blamed Elsa for leaving, not after she knew the whole truth behind the decision. Anna would've been heartbroken either way. However, the goodbye would've perhaps saved Anna just a little bit of heartache.

"You know… I'm never going to tell you enough times how sorry I am. My last intention was to hurt you, Anna. I've been so caught up in all the hurt in my life that I forgot to see what it was doing to the people around me. But please believe me when I say I'm trying my best this time. I really am," she swore.

Immediately, Anna hugged herself closer to her girlfriend, taking Elsa's arm while caressing her thumb over the back of her hand.

"I know you are. I can see that you are. Every day. I'm really proud of you, you know?" Elsa perceived it as a rhetorical question. Even if it wasn't, it wasn't one she'd very much like to comment on. She wasn't sure whether she should be proud of herself. She probably knew that she should, but she just couldn't feel it. "I've forgiven you, Els. You're forgiven. And you know I didn't tell my parents about us earlier because I just thought it wasn't the right time. I'm not ashamed of you, don't you ever think that. Ever."

Anna's words were true. She wanted them to be true with all of her heart, she truly did. And they were. But she still couldn't deny how much pain and hurt she'd been through after Elsa left. How used she'd felt, and how her confidence took years to rebuild. How trust now wasn't something that came naturally to her, and how she'd held herself back from engaging in same-sex relationships. Eight years she'd denied herself the pleasure of taking the chance on women. She wanted to forget those eight years so badly, but reality was that they were very much there. Anna knew it perhaps appeared a tad extreme to exclude all women after what Elsa did to her. It wasn't that she thought all women were the same. It was just that Anna could never look at another woman romantically without it reminding her of Elsa. A painful reminder of the girl she'd been so in love with, but couldn't have. A person who she'd trusted but obviously shouldn't have.

One thing Anna could say with utmost certainty, though: she wasn't ashamed of Elsa. In fact, she was actually quite proud to be able to call her her girlfriend.

The two proceeded to the checkout, Elsa relieved the IKEA-hell would soon be over, but then remembered that she would soon have to endure the unpacking of said IKEA-hell back home. What you didn't do for love.

After paying, Elsa could see the end to this madness, the double-slide doors with the words "Hej då!" written on them calling her. The doors to freedom were suddenly blocked by a man and his packed shopping cart. His brown eyes lit up with recognition, a pearly white row of teeth appearing between his full lips.

"Anna? Anna Albright, is that you?" The man questioned happily, a playful smile on his lips.

Elsa watched as Anna blinked a few times in comprehension, her face showing a mixture of emotions as she realized she indeed knew the handsome man in front of her. She was clearly not expecting running into this person.

"Oh my goodness, hi! How are you? It's been so long," the redhead exclaimed as she threw an arm around the man in a half-hearted hug.

Elsa could sense something between them. A history. One she still did not know about.

"It's good to see you. I'm well, thank you," he replied, smiling widely.

There was something in his smile, Elsa noted. Something she did not like. There was a sense of longing in his smile. Not as in lust, but as in loss. He'd missed Anna. Elsa caught herself in crossing her arms over her chest, but quickly untangled herself. The last thing she wanted to come off as was hostile and reserved. This was obviously a friend of Anna's… probably.

"How rude of me," Anna quickly realized. She gently rested a hand on her girlfriend's arm, "Elsa, this is Jimmy. Jimmy, this my… this is Elsa."

Jimmy. The name rang a bell. A twist of jealous hit Elsa's gut when she remembered the name being mentioned at the dinner with the Albrights. He was the ex-boyfriend.

"Lovely to meet you, Elsa," Jimmy said and stretched out his arm for a handshake.

"Pleasure," the blonde replied stiffly, shaking his hand firmly, squeezing it a bit harder than necessary.

Despite her reply, Jimmy could easily sense that she hardly thought of meeting him as a pleasure. He retrieved his hand before shoving it into the pocket of his jeans, and turned his attention once again to Anna.

"So are you girls just out on a shopping spree? It was clever of you to bring a friend, Anna, I could've totally used a second opinion on the desk I just bought," Jimmy laughed genuinely. You would've thought he was the female version of Anna with all that smiling and bubbly laughter.

"-Girlfriend," Elsa corrected him. She couldn't help herself.

"Excuse me?" Jimmy asked in confusion, although Elsa was sure he had heard her the first time.

"Els, what're you doing?" Anna tried whispering discreetly, tugging lightly on Elsa's arm.

The blonde couldn't bring herself to answer her girlfriend's question. She wasn't actually sure on what she was doing actually. The overwhelming feeling of justice (which in this case could perhaps be translated to jealousy) just took over so suddenly.

"Girlfriend. Anna is my girlfriend. We're a couple," she shot at Jimmy.

The man looked confused for a second. His hand shot up in an attempt to busy himself, his palm cupping the back of his neck as he shrugged apologetically.

"Oh. I see. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, I just assumed you guys were…. Anyway, I better go. It was good running into you, Anna," Jimmy mumbled with a toothless grin, and pushed his trolley along.

Anna quickly managed a small goodbye as they watched him leave. As soon as he was out of sight, Anna turned to Elsa.

"Why'd you have to do that?" she asked, hurt very evident in her voice.

"What do you mean? You're my girlfriend, Anna."

"Didn't you see his face?" the redhead spat before taking off towards the parking lot.

Elsa tried to follow, but the cart was slowing her down. Anna was already sitting in the passenger seat by the time Elsa got there. In silence, Elsa filled up the car with their purchases and returned the cart. Meanwhile, Anna was looking out the window, a face harder to read than a doctor's handwriting. The blonde started the engine and together they drove off in silence.

Elsa was holding onto the wheel tightly. The tension between them put her on edge. Her knuckles turned white. She was angry, she realized. She was angry that Anna had for the second time denied their relationship in front of people. Elsa didn't understand, to be honest. She had understood that Anna didn't want to unfold their relationship prematurely to her parents, but this? This was starting to hurt Elsa more than she'd like to admit.

The blonde cleared her throat once, her eyes fixated on the road.

"Why didn't you want to tell him? I thought you weren't ashamed of me."

Anna sighed, her eyes finally tearing themselves away from the sky outside.

"I'm not ashamed of you. I just didn't find it appropriate, or necessary."

"Why not?" Elsa shot, almost offended.

Anna rubbed her temple.

"He is my ex-boyfriend, Els. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. We didn't exactly part on great terms," she responded mildly annoyed.

For the first time since she'd stepped foot inside the car Elsa looked over towards the freckled girl next to her. There were tears in her eyes, not yet spilling but clearly not far from. The glossiness in Anna's eyes startled her. It was something she hadn't expected and suddenly she felt bad about how she'd handled the entire situation. At the first possible opportunity, Elsa took an exit to get off the highway. It wasn't long until she pulled into the nearest gas station.

As soon as she'd put the car in park, she unbuckled herself and reached over to pull Anna to her.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't fair of me. Please don't cry," the older woman begged.

Elsa's hand quickly found the back of Anna's head and urged her forward. Anna was sniffling into her shoulder, her dainty hands meeting each other on Elsa's back.

"I'm sorry," the blonde kept whispering. She kissed the top of her head, annoyed the gear stick stuck up so awkwardly in between them.

Elsa really wasn't sure whether she was the one who should be apologizing, or maybe she should. She didn't know. Because by the look of Anna there was obviously more to it than that.

Anna was done crying, but Elsa had no idea where to go from there. What should she say? Should she even say anything? She was about to excuse herself to go buy them some water at the gas station when she remembered something Anna had once said. _This is how relationships work. If there's something wrong, we talk it out. Okay? _Those were her exact words.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" The older woman asked, her heart skipping a beat after having realized what she'd just said. She was nervous so suddenly.

Anna nodded into her shoulder before pulling away. Elsa reached into the glove compartment to fetch some Kleenex for the younger girl to wipe her eyes. The redhead looked down into her lap.

Elsa stayed put. She just sat and waited to listen. Anna didn't know where to start, that much was obvious.

"Jimmy and I… um."

The younger girl took a deep breath, calming herself. Clearly, this was painful for her to think about. Elsa was waiting in anticipation. Things had unmistakably ended badly between the two, how badly, Elsa didn't know yet.

"…Jimmy and I were pretty serious. He… actually asked me to marry him."

It was quiet between them while Elsa tried to process the given information. The grief in Jimmy eyes wasn't easy to mistake. He probably still wanted to marry Anna. The thought made Elsa's stomach tie a knot on itself.

"Wait, marriage? How long had you been dating?"

"Only a few months…," the redhead mumbled.

"A few _months_? That's insane. You can't marry someone you just met. Why would he even ask?"

"…Because I was pregnant."

A tear rolled down her cheek. The words made Elsa's blood run cold in her veins. Pregnant. The thought had never even crossed her mind. She still had to remind herself that Anna had a life before she so dramatically decided to reenter it.

"What happened?" she asked gently.

"When I found out I was pregnant I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to keep it. When I told him, he proposed on the spot."

"Then what…?"

"I told him I didn't want to marry him just because I was pregnant. We were still together, but I refused to get engaged just because that's what you do when you accidentally knock someone up. I didn't want it to be like that. I didn't want him to give up his entire life just because that's what he was supposed to do. I wanted him to really _want_ it, you know?" Elsa nodded, squeezing her girlfriend's hand gently. "I miscarried a few weeks later. After that, we slowly just drifted apart. The baby wasn't there to keep us together any longer, and Jimmy didn't take the decline on his marriage proposal too well."

Anna shrugged once as if what she'd told was just nothing. She caught a tear climbing its way down her cheek before it reached her chin. Elsa was in a shock-like state. Not entirely in shock, but pretty damn close. How was she supposed to deal with this information? Was she allowed to ask into it, or would it just upset her girlfriend even further?

Anna's thumb started to caress the back of Elsa's hand. They both looked up and met each other's eyes. The blonde pulled their intertwined hands up to her mouth and kissed Anna's tan fingers. After a little while, she spoke.

"Were you going to keep it?"

Anna smiled faintly, a hurt little smile.

"Yeah. I was."

Elsa kissed the back of the redhead's hand. She reached to cup one of Anna's hot cheeks. Anna leaned into the blonde's cool touch.

"I'm sorry," the older woman whispered.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. Although… I did figure out that I can't get pregnant again. The doctors said that my chances of ever getting pregnant again are slim to none. They noticed some irregular hormone patterns in my blood sample and ran some more tests. They call it unexplained infertility…." Anna's eyes dropped to her feet.

Those news hit Elsa like a brick to the face. She had a hard enough time to deal with the fact that Anna had lost a child, a child that she _wanted_. But this? Now she never got the opportunity again. Of course, adoption was always an option, but that wasn't the point. The point was that Anna had been robbed the opportunity to choose. The ability to make life herself. Anna could feel how Elsa had frozen under her touch. Perhaps this hadn't been the right time to tell Elsa, but then again, when was ever the right time to tell anything? Did the right time even exist?

"Do your parents know?" Elsa gulped, still in disbelief. She ran a hand through her hair. She needed air. The car was getting crammed. With the push of a button, she rolled down the window.

"No. I haven't gotten around to telling them yet. It's probably the only thing I've ever kept hidden from my mom. I can't stand the idea of how heartbroken she'll be when she finds out I can't give her any grandchildren."

"So who knows?"

"No one. Not even Marie or Merida. Just you."

Elsa couldn't help but feel both honored and terrified. Anna had opened up to her. She was grateful for that. It showed that it wasn't entirely impossible for Anna to trust her.

That night Elsa curled up behind Anna in bed. She was holding her tightly, creating a protective cocoon around her. Nothing would ever harm her. Not with Elsa around. Both rested atop of the bedsheets. It wasn't later than seven o'clock, but both were exhausted. The redhead had cried in Elsa's arms part of the evening. Somehow, telling Elsa about the lost baby and everything else made it seem a lot more real to Anna. Maybe that was why she'd kept it hidden for so long. If you didn't talk about it, it didn't really feel real. But having Elsa know made her feel relieved. She wasn't alone with it anymore.

Anna had just returned from the lunch with her parents. She'd told them. About her and Elsa. Her mom knew, of course. Mr. Albright hadn't said much. He just smiled at the fact that Anna was smiling. That was how he was. You didn't need much effort to make him happy.

The pair lay in bed, snuggling up close. Elsa's bed wasn't so hard now that the pink pillows were there. The blonde had to admit that they were ridiculously comfortable. She also had to admit that she liked being the big spoon.

"I could really use a glass of wine…," Anna sighed as she rubbed her forehead.

"I'm sorry, I don't have any," Elsa apologized, calmly resting behind her, kissing her shoulder once.

"Do you want to go out? There's this lovely wine bar a few blocks away."

"I'm sorry, Anna… I can't," the blonde apologized once again.

Anna turned around in her embrace.

"What's the matter?" She asked when she saw Elsa's face. "It's just one drink, we can even take a cab if you're feeling lazy."

"I can't…," she repeated.

"Why not?"

Elsa's eyes wandered. They wouldn't focus on Anna. She drew a deep breath.

…Now that they were being honest, she thought.

"Because… I used to be an alcoholic."

* * *

**A/N:** I know some of the info regarding Anna's infertility may be a bit scientifically off but bear with me. Also, thank you guys so much for reading, you're awesome as usual – and reviews are welcome, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

-BV


	16. Talk Talk Talk

**Chapter 16 – Talk Talk Talk**

**Heads up/warning: **intimate scenes.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Anna fretted, abruptly tearing herself from Elsa's arms and positioning herself upright on the bed.

Elsa slowly followed, her motions not as frantic as Anna's. She'd hoped this didn't have to be a big deal. She'd hoped Anna wouldn't make a big deal out of it, but you can't do much with hope sometimes.

Anxiety turned in Elsa's stomach, mockingly making its presence and forcing the unfortunate blonde to envision everything that could go wrong by having revealed her most reprehensible secret. This was second nature to Elsa. This was simply how her mind worked: suffering through a stream of mental images of every scenario that could go horribly wrong for every decision she made. Every choice she made was like stepping into an elevator, because everyone knows standing in an elevator is when your brain always demands to lay out every possible malfunction the piece of technology could undergo. It's where you can't stop worrying about whether the cables will hold or the elevator will stop mid-level and let you die a claustrophobic and suffocating death because no one found you in time. Many basic interactions were like stepping into an elevator for Elsa. Before Anna had even responded to her confession, she'd within the fraction of a second envisioned Anna leaving her, literally dying from the heart attack she felt like she was having, Anna not taking her seriously, actually fainting, and ruining their relationship to the point where it was unfixable.

"Because. I haven't had a reason to until now," the blonde reasoned, obviously already tired, but apprehensive, of the discussion that was to come.

"You don't _need_ a reason to tell people things like this. Gosh, I can't believe you didn't tell. And I was just rambling on and on about that stupid wine bar!" the younger girl ran her hands through her hair, stopping where her braids began.

Elsa quickly scooted closer to the distressed redhead and grabbed her hands before they could repeat the action, while she skillfully ignored the ongoing overflow of adrenaline coursing through her. Elsa really didn't like seeing Anna like this. With both hands firmly in her warm grip, Elsa pulled Anna's closer to her, her thumbs rubbing over the backside of her freckled fingers.

"Look, maybe I should've told you sooner, but that doesn't change anything now. Now you know, and that's what's important."

The warmth of Elsa's touch was comforting. It seemed as if Anna was still processing the information. She couldn't believe she hadn't known. A lot of things made sense to her so suddenly. Ripping her hands from Elsa's grip to run them through her hair again was tempting, but she wasn't sure how Elsa would take the gesture. She might think that she was mad, which wasn't true at all. Anna wasn't mad. She was just surprised and still trying to realize what this all meant.

"I just…," Anna uttered almost breathlessly. "How could you not tell me? It's such a huge thing to carry around alone."

Anna sat and stared at her with these huge round teal eyes full of confusion and disbelief. She looked lost and bewildered, on the verge of getting to her feet and start pacing the room. Elsa shrugged once and brought Anna's hands to her mouth to kiss them.

"Same reason you didn't tell anyone about the miscarriage, I guess. It's just easier that way."

The words weren't meant as a critique of Anna's decision of not telling anyone. It was merely to shed some light on Elsa's situation and make Anna understand. Which she did. Anna understood perfectly now. She now understood to the extent where a slight rush of guilt washed over her. It wasn't nice to have a person you love keeping things from you. She hadn't even considered what it would appear like to her friends and family – that she'd kept a secret for so long without even considering telling them.

Elsa took a silent moment to brush a strand of hair that had escaped Anna's braid behind her ear. Cupping one of her freckled cheeks, Elsa urged Anna closer to her. Before they knew it, Anna was resting on Elsa's chest, the blonde's arms wrapped around her distraught girlfriend.

"And I'm not alone," Elsa added. "Astrid knows. She was the one who sent me to rehab."

Anna was beginning to like Astrid more and more. Honestly, Anna didn't know much about Astrid. Nothing other than that she was Elsa's friend from college who later became her business partner. Another thing she knew about Astrid was that the quality of work she produced – along with Elsa – was absolutely sublime.

"When did all this start?" Anna wondered, clutching closer to her girlfriend as if she was afraid she'd suddenly slip through her fingers.

Elsa noticed the way Anna was fisting her shirt - the way her knuckles turned white and shaky from the killer-grip she was holding around her poor cashmere sweater - and started rubbing her hand up and down Anna's back. She knew when telling Anna the news (that were barely news to be fair) would most like cause her to get upset. But this? Such shock and worry? This she certainly hadn't expected.

"I think I've always had a tendency to lean towards some unhealthy habits when things got tough. In high school it was cigarettes mostly." Anna had almost forgotten Elsa used to smoke in high school. Thankfully, she'd rid herself of that nasty habit. But to think Elsa was already addicted to that type of stress-relief back then was thought-provoking. "After high school, things were good for a little while. I quit smoking before I started college, I didn't need it anymore. Besides, I could never let my mom find out about it which only gave me another reason to quit."

Elsa took a deep breath, her hand never stopping caressing Anna's back. The redhead's body relaxed noticeably beneath Elsa's touch. Anna nuzzled closer to her, resting her head just by the crook of the blonde's pale neck. It felt as if Anna should've said something in that short period of time where Elsa fell quiet. Perhaps a few comforting words, maybe an apology for the way she'd reacted, or perhaps not even a word but a kiss instead. But she decided not to. Elsa was finally opening up and she would hate to ruin it. She was giving her much more than she could have ever asked for, telling her her story from front to back. This was something Anna needed. She needed to fill in the gaps, fill in parts of those eight years they'd been apart. That way, she could help Elsa move forward.

"Astrid and I met in college when I was 19," the older girl continued. "We studied the same major, as you know. We were practically the only girls in our class. Actually, we didn't become friends before Astrid saved me from this guy who repeatedly asked me out and couldn't take no for an answer," Elsa snorted gently, clearly remembering the good old times. "His name was Jeff, and one day he was particularly persistent. That's when Astrid came to my rescue. She slung an arm around me, kissed me on the cheek, and said 'come on, Babe,' and led me out of the cafeteria. She even turned around and said 'don't you ever hit on my girlfriend again, you creep'. That's kind of when I knew we were going to be best friends."

Anna was listening intently. Somehow, she had no trouble imagining the scene. Astrid slamming the guy to the ground with her sassy remarks, walking nobly out of the cafeteria with Elsa under her arm like a trophy. The stares and mouths hanging agape following them as they left the room with such supremacy that half could've been enough.

Anna simply rested a hand upon Elsa's stomach while she drew circles around her concealed belly button to show she was listening. Elsa felt the slight tickle of Anna's touch, but it was reassuring in a way.

"Astrid lived on campus while my mom and I rented a small apartment a few blocks away from the school. My mom got a cleaning job at one of the local high schools, and I worked nights at the downstairs kiosk to pay tuition. Astrid came over a few nights a week to join us for dinner. She nearly became like a second daughter to my mom, and she'd always spend Thanksgiving with us. Although she always flew home during Christmas, she'd always find some sneaky way to leave us presents under our tree."

Elsa was getting lost in the old days, Anna could tell. But she was loving it, loved hearing about Elsa's past, and knowing it wasn't all bad. Admittedly, Anna hadn't been aware how large a part Astrid played in it. She only now realized that Astrid was more like a sister than a friend to Elsa.

A sudden change in Elsa's posture made Anna very aware that the happy story times soon would be over. Elsa's stomach was no longer relaxed, but flexed as if she was about to go to war. Her hand stopped rubbing Anna's back entirely, and by now, she was merely holding onto her girlfriend as if it was the only way for her to get through what she was about to say.

"Six months after graduation the accident happened. Astrid and I were doing really well for ourselves, both getting hired by the same firm and working as partners…," Elsa voice got smaller and smaller. Her mind was wandering back to that day, and Anna dearly wished she could stop her in doing so, but there was no point. Knowing Elsa, she was too far gone in the memory. "One night my mom and I were driving home. It was late. We'd been out celebrating her new job as a waitress at _Le Petit Chéri_. And then…." Elsa ran a hand over her forehead. A loud gulp traveled down her throat as she dropped her hand on the bed. "He hit us on the side, directly into the driver's side…. All I remember is the headlights behind my mother's silhouette. Then I woke up in the hospital the next day."

The room was quiet. Anna could hear Elsa's heartbeat. It was traveling fast, like the sound of horses on a stampede.

"Astrid sat by my side when I woke up. She was the first person I saw after the accident. She was holding my hand. She was also the one who told me that my mom was in a coma… that's four years ago now."

A silent tear rolled down Anna's cheek. She knew parts of the story already, but never imagined ever getting such a detailed account from Elsa. She couldn't hold the tears back as Elsa kept on going.

"After my recovery my work insisted that I took some time off. It just made it all worse. I couldn't even bury myself in work to numb the pain. And that's when I started drinking. I spent a month alone in an empty apartment, wearing a dirty bathrobe and drinking expensive liquor. The doctors insisted that I saw a therapist, but I never showed up to my scheduled appointments. Astrid tried her best to make me go, but there was only so much she could do. After that, I started work again, and drank myself to sleep for a few months. I used to go to _The Blue Reindeer_ a lot to meet girls and get drunk. When Astrid asked, I'd deny everything. That's what I remember the clearest; how often I tried to convince her, and myself, that I didn't have a problem and that she should just leave it alone. But when I started to show up drunk for work Astrid had had enough. She drove me to a rehabilitation clinic. Hell, she even went with me to all of my AA meetings because she wanted to make sure I was going. The doctors started out giving me the Sinclair treatment, but during AA my sponsor decided it would probably be best to switch to abstinence since my situation is still rather… _unstable_, as he put it."

Anna figured 'unstable' was a reference to her mother's condition. That it still was a rather sensitive matter, and any slight alteration might take things beyond Elsa's control.

"I've been sober for almost 18 months. Astrid and I went into business for ourselves about 18 months ago. She thought I needed a healthy distraction and a new environment." There was no pride in her voice. The words fell monotone from her lips. "And every day just feels…_felt_ so empty for those 18 months. Until about two months ago…." A slight smirk crept upon Elsa's lips, her eyes swiftly dropping down to snatch a glimpse of the girl in her arms. She gave the younger girl a tiny squeeze.

What hit Anna the hardest was that Elsa sounded prouder of being able to call her her girlfriend than accomplishing being sober for 18 months and fight addiction.

"Astrid keeps track on my bank movements, which is why I called you that night. She'd know if I'd made a transaction from jail and get worried. I asked her to do it though. Knowing I'd disappoint her has more often than not been my motivation and what kept me from go buying booze. She also makes sure I don't carry cash on me. It's just less tempting that way."

The last sentence sounded rather conclusive to Anna. That was the end of Elsa's story, and to be fair, Anna wasn't sure if her heart could take any more. Despite how her heart was trembling, a spike of fulfillment overwhelmed her. One of Elsa's long-standing walls had been knocked down, perhaps even the tallest and thickest wall yet.  
"Thank you for telling me," the younger girl whispered in to her shoulder.

Elsa kissed the top of Anna's head in response. The two rested in each other's arms for a while. They both had plenty to think about. None of them spoke for quite some time. Anna's head was filled with all sorts of thoughts she didn't know what to do with. Perhaps she shouldn't really do anything? Perhaps she should just accept things as they were and stop trying to find solutions to everything for once. Because, the truth was that there wasn't really a solution needed at the moment. There was nothing to fix, and nothing that could be fixed. Elsa had already taken care of that. In fact, she'd spent the past 18 months taking care of it.

So that just made Anna rest in Elsa's arms, so utterly relieved and satisfied that her girlfriend had opened up to her. A prodigiously strong feeling invaded her entire stomach. The feeling of unconditional affection that she so undeniably felt for Elsa spread through her. For the first time in more than eight years, she felt nothing but pure admiration for Elsa. Everything was forgiven so suddenly. The feeling took Anna aback. She'd longed to feel this way ever since her and Elsa started dating again. And now truly everything was forgiven, perhaps never forgotten, but surely forgiven. And just as Anna couldn't be more surprised by her own feelings, Elsa went ahead and said something that made the feeling in the pit of her stomach intensify by what seemed like a million.

"Listen… I think you should come with me to the hospital on Sunday. If you still want to."

The words made Anna lift her head from Elsa's shoulder. Looking at Elsa, seeing those genuine eyes, caused the sudden need for Anna to show her affection. To show Elsa how she felt, and what she did to her.

"Of course, Els. Of course I'll still go with you," the redhead was quick to say as she cupped both of Elsa's cheeks in her palms and pulled her in for a sprinkle of kisses.

The younger girl leaned back into the pillows, tugging Elsa with her. The eagerness in Anna's kisses surprised the blonde. The sound of their heavy breaths was all that was left of their conversation. No more words needed to be spoken, which meant that the unsettling and overruling sense of anxiousness towering Elsa grew less and less. As she rested on her one elbow, her other arm brushing over Anna's hipbone, she felt as if she could finally breathe again, despite there being a certain redhead depriving her of oxygen with fervent kisses.

Elsa sensed Anna's arousal as she kissed her way over her burning skin, her cheeks blossoming a faint shade of pink so suddenly. Anna clasped a hand behind Elsa's neck and practically crushed their lips together. Never had Elsa experienced anything like this with Anna.

The pull Elsa felt around her neck, the need, the want, the urgency behind Anna's gestures made Elsa hesitant. The contradiction of their agreement echoing like a gunshot in the night inside her head. Their agreement on taking things slow and holding off on the physical part of their relationship.

"Make love to me, Elsa," Anna breathed with urgency in a husky voice.

Freckled hands smoothly unclasped the blonde's belt finally convincing Elsa that this was consensual, encouraged even. Anna's hand quickly brushed over Elsa's stomach and down her pants. The blonde wasn't expecting such a bold move and gasped as she felt her girlfriend's touch. She closed her eyes, mouth slightly agape, as she slowly let arousal invade her body, substituting the last trace of anxiety with ecstasy.

Elsa wanted this. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted this, but confusion still dazed her mind enough to focus on the moaning girl beneath her.

"I love you," Anna puffed before pressing her lips back on Elsa's.

And then Elsa got it. This was her reward for being truthful. For unknowingly bringing them closer together. This was the fruit of her labor, her hard work finally paying off. It wasn't just about sex, not at all. It was the second chance she was given and the trust that followed. A love confession, a final surrender to a longing they'd both craved since their last night between the sheets together.

"I love you too," the blonde whispered back, never once in doubt whether she loved Anna or not, because truth was she'd never loved anyone more.

As Anna's hand adventurously stroke Elsa's nether regions, the blonde unbuttoned Anna's cardigan before pulling it off entirely. The bare skin exposed beneath the now discarded green item of clothing nearly set Elsa on the edge. Connecting their lips once more, Elsa's hand traced up Anna's thigh until she so skillfully slipped it under her skirt.

A groan escaped the younger girl's throat, her back arching as Elsa's fingers buried themselves in her wetness. The blonde couldn't help but gasp for air as Anna curled her fingers so delightfully, almost causing her to bite the redhead's shoulder in utter pleasure. Her walls clenched around Anna's fingers, muffling her cries with sloppy open-mouthed kisses on the crook of the redhead's neck as she came.

The roles reversed as Elsa's breath-shuddering orgasm subsided, Anna now being the one panting the hardest well on her way to giving into that sweet sweet release. Elsa picked up her pace, pushing herself closer to Anna while adding another digit inside her girlfriend's womanhood. The look on Anna's face as she came could hardly be described as anything but a mixture of love and desire. The redhead threw her head back into the pillows, a hand shooting up to grip onto the headboard as her toes curled, a scream ripping from her throat echoing through the room.

Elsa planted kisses all the way up Anna's jawline as she was catching her breath. Finally, Elsa kissed the corner of Anna's mouth. She pulled back for a few seconds, but only because she couldn't help the huge smile on her lips. Their foreheads rested together as they just lay and smiled at each other.


	17. Maurice

**Chapter 17 – Maurice **

Elsa awoke as the first gleam of sunshine fell upon her sleeping features. Her naked torso felt the warmth from the comforting rays, the blanket having failed to cover her upper body after exhaustion stole her consciousness and pulled her into sleep.

Resting on her stomach she turned her head to admire her lover sleeping next to her. Anna was on her side, her back turned towards Elsa. The defined shoulder blades beneath her freckled tanned skin would have been a crime to not cherish.

Elsa was experiencing something for the first time as she was quietly laying there. Waking up next to somebody. That was something she'd never had the pleasure of trying before. Never in her short, unfair life had she woken up next to someone that was anything other than a friend to her. Never had a lover stayed the night at her place, and never had she resisted the urge to tip-toe out of a one-night stand before the break of dawn.

A dainty hand reached out for the sleeping girl next to her, yearning for the touch of her love and a confirmation that this was real.

The tip of her finger brushed over the concave track of Anna's spine. The dip of her waist made Elsa want to run her hand over her hip and down the valley of her middle.

A smile crept upon her lips. An undeniable happiness spread through her. All sorts of happy chemicals swirled around inside her brain, sending a message to her fingertips reminding them to tingle from the feeling of Anna's skin. They also sent a bubbly joy to her stomach, and made it feel like her heart was just beating a tad faster than it was supposed to.

Leaving a kiss on the younger girl's shoulder, Elsa rose from the bed, planting two feet down on the cold wooden floor. Swiftly she slipped into a pair of jeans and a sweater.

"Where're you going?" a husky voice mumbled from the bed as Elsa was about to leave the bedroom.

The blonde tilted her head while looking over her shoulder, shooting a glance at the redhead who hadn't moved an inch. Smoothly she walked around the bed and kneeled next to Anna. As Elsa took her hand, Anna opened her sleepy eyes.

"Why are you dressed?" she whispered quietly, her fingers clenching around Elsa's hand discreetly begging her to stay.

"I'll be back soon. I promise," Elsa swore and kissed Anna's cheek and nose. "Go back to sleep."

Elsa shot a quick glance at the digital clock on Anna's nightstand. It displayed 06:07 in big green clumsy numbers.

Before Anna could protest, the blonde kissed her forehead, tucked her in, and made an elegant exit. She cautiously inched the door closed behind her, careful not to make any sudden noise that could wake her girlfriend further.

Elsa was surprisingly full of energy, she even surprised herself by choosing the stairs instead of the elevator. As she stepped onto the street she was greeted by a crisp breeze that immediately dried her airways with its cold, feeling as if she'd just consumed an entire tube of toothpaste. The neighbourhood was quiet, but after a ten minute brisk walk Elsa watched as the early-birds of the city were either on their way to work or going for a quick run.

Happily Elsa entered the local supermarket, picking up a basket by the entrance as if she went there every day. Truth was, Elsa hadn't done any grocery shopping for _years_. She simply didn't have a single cooking skill in here. That alone could keep her away from the intimidating foreign world that was the supermarket, but another thing that also contributed to this abstention was the thought that always lurked in the back of her mind. The thought to avoid temptation. It was meant to keep her safe – to keep her on the right track – but avoiding such basic daily things as grocery shopping was holding Elsa back. It was keeping her from living a normal life, a life where she could wake up on a normal day to a normal job and cook her girlfriend a normal breakfast.

Elsa passed the liquor aisle without even glancing at it. In fact, she hardly even noticed it was there. She felt absolutely no pull from the bottles and bottles of mind-numbing substances. Instead she headed for the dairy aisle. Elsa had forgotten how calming walking around in your own thoughts could be. It was almost a therapeutic experience. Finally Elsa had all the ingredients to make two deliciously nutritious omelettes. Elsa couldn't help the goofy smile that didn't seem to want to go away this morning. That was until she remembered one thing.

_How the heck do you make an omelette?_

Elsa had no idea how to cook. To put it mildly, she was a crazy bad cook. As in, lighting the kitchen on fire before she even turned on the stove would save her a lot of time. Sure, she knew what ingredients could make a great omelette – to a limited extent – but actually making an omelette?

After another half hour spent gathering fruits and vegetables, Elsa was finally ready to purchase her neatly picked out groceries. She went with smoothies, because they didn't involve any sort of open flame. It was just stuffing some fruits and stuff into a blender, right?

It turned out it wasn't so easy. Putting stuff in a blender and mixing it didn't exactly make it a smoothie. At least not a good-tasting one.

During attempt number three Elsa was about to give up. Fruit apparently wasn't her friend, nor was the blender (Maurice she'd named him. She thought he deserved a name after second attempt where he simply decided to vomit the blended fruit-goo all over the table.) By now she was so fed up with Maurice's refusal to cooperate that she simply hunched over the kitchen table in defeat.

"Wow, you should think you were playing fruit-ninja in here," a giggling voice sounded by the doorframe.

Elsa shot up, clearly surprised by Anna's intrusion on her… she wouldn't even call it cooking or food-making. There was no 'making' about it, it was much rather 'destroying.'

"How long have you been standing there?" Elsa asked, long past the point of embarrassment. By now, she was trying to embrace her ineptitude when it came to a kitchen. Anna was standing in her silk bathrobe, her arms crossed over her chest in a sassy posture.

"Long enough," Anna laughed as she walked to Elsa and hugged her from behind. "It's sweet of you that you tried to make me breakfast," she continued and kissed her girlfriend's cheek.

Elsa couldn't help but snort at her own incompetence.

She turned in Anna's embrace, quick to catch her lips with her own and lean into a tender kiss. Giggling, Anna pulled away from the kiss.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning," she teased as she grabbed a mug from the cabinet to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"How could I not be?" Elsa smiled.

Anna couldn't help but smile too. Truth was she couldn't be happier herself. Last night had been nothing but perfect for the two of them. Perhaps not the big revealing of Elsa's past and her troubles, but what happened after. Their love-making had lasted well into the night, and just the thought of it brought a shy smile to Anna's lips. Without her even realizing it, a slight blush started to creep upon her cheeks.

"You ok there?" the older girl asked curiously, watching as Anna suddenly spaced out while blushing faintly.

Elsa was looking at her with her big blue eyes, an expression as innocent as a lambs'. Anna quickly snapped out of it, taking an awkward sip of her coffee. Elsa just looked even more confused.

"Go take a shower, you got smoothie all over you," Anna hustled, pinching Elsa's butt in the most loving of ways as she rushed her out of the kitchen.

Elsa obliged as soon as she looked down her shirt and noticed how it appeared like Maurice had practically made her look like she'd just committed murder. Meanwhile, Anna whipped them up some breakfast, and in no time the two of them were on their way to work. They each drove in their own car, and despite how environmentally unfriendly that was, it was part of their agreement. They were still taking things slow. The sex had been an unexpected event for both of them, but there were no regrets. However, it left them with some things to discuss. Whether they were both ready to take the next step in their relationship. Whether they should start spending the nights more often, and whether perhaps leaving a toothbrush and some clean underwear would be a smart thing to do.

They parked their cars in the basement of the building and walked hand in hand to the elevator. Elsa followed Anna to her office and kissed her goodbye by the door.

"I'll see you later," Anna smiled and gave her another kiss.

Elsa watched as Anna disappeared into her office, standing just a moment longer and feeling Anna's absence for the first time in a day. As she stood there, hands buried in the pockets of her slacks, she felt as if someone was watching her. It was an unsettling feeling. It felt intrusive in a way. Unfriendly.

Elsa glanced over her shoulder and her eyes quickly settled upon the man behind her.

"Hi," she said, more like a statement than a greeting.

Sven said nothing. The man looked tired, his hair fallen down over his dark circled eyes. Elsa turned around, fully facing Sven now. They stood a few meters apart.

"You look like shit," she spoke.

Sven's gaze grew darker.

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Well, it's the truth."

The man fell quiet. He obviously didn't like Elsa's comment on his appearance. The blonde took a few steps towards him.

"Look. Anna told me about you and your boyfriend. I'm sorry to hear that."

"No you're not."

"And why do you think that?"

Sven didn't answer. Obviously he hadn't thought his accusation through.

"I'm not a terrible person, Sven. I know I might come off as an asshole sometimes – trust me, I'm very aware of that. And you have every right to hate me…." Elsa thought about her words for a second. "Actually, you don't. I've never done anything to you, and I'm trying to make up for what I did to Anna. So would you cut me some slack? I know that love sucks for you right now, but that's not my fault either. I'd really like it if we could be friends because I know how much you mean to Anna."

The hall fell quiet. Sven's expression had gone from utter fury to a mixture of shame and resentment. Elsa decided that there was nothing more to be said upon the matter. She'd said what she thought fit, and unless Sven had anything to add, she couldn't see a reason to stay. Ergo, she turned around on her heels and set off towards her and Astrid's office.

"Okay," she heard the man utter in a small voice. "I'll try. Can't promise anything though."

The blonde stopped up for a second and looked towards the broken man.

"That's all I'm asking," Elsa replied with faint smile.

With that, she walked with long strides towards her office, confidence radiating from her. Astrid could hardly recognize her as she walked in.

"Wow, that's one heck of a smile. Someone's having a good day," Astrid grinned as she shuffled through some papers on her desk.

Elsa sat down by her desk in front of Astrid.

"I could say the same thing about you. What's with the smile? Got a hanger stuck in your mouth?"

"Very funny," Astrid replied, although the dorky grin never left her face.

Elsa sat and observed her friend for a little while. There was just something about Astrid's posture and smile that seemed different. She was glowing.

"You got laid, didn't you?" Elsa wondered.

"You're an asshat," Astrid tried to say with a straight face without succeeding.

"So I'm right?"

Astrid fell awfully quiet.

"I'm right," Elsa said as she confirmed her own theory.

Astrid rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.

"I'm so right," Elsa grinned. "Who is he?"

"No one you need to worry about just yet," her friend assured her.

Astrid had always been rather private when it came to relationships. She was like a mother in that regard – always waiting to see where the relationship was going before introducing him to her kids.

"Can you at least tell me his name?"

"As of now let's just call him Anonymous."

"Urgh, you're no fun," the blonde sighed and spun around in her chair in a childish manner.

Astrid snorted softly, still focused on the stack of papers in front of her. Elsa was daydreaming in her chair for a little while, her mind being on an entirely different planet at the moment.

Astrid broke the silence.

"Do you want me to come with you on Sunday?" she asked casually.

Elsa spun another round in her chair, shrugging once as she passed Astrid.

"No it's fine. Anna is going with me."

For the first time Astrid looked up from the documents in front of her.

"Really?"

"…Yeah."

"That's great, Bambi. I'm really happy to hear that."

Both women smiled to themselves, going back to what they were doing. Elsa hardly got any work done that afternoon – something that was highly unlike her. She felt like an entirely new person, at least just for a few moments. She'd worked 18 hard months to enjoy this moment. And finally it felt like it was worth it.

* * *

It was Sunday. Elsa had had it up to her neck with nerves and anxiety. What if she broke down in front of Anna by her mother's bedside? What if her mom died right before them while they were visiting? What if she forgot how to breathe and fainted? So many thoughts kept gunning their way through Elsa's mind, and she couldn't stop them. They were just there, and she was scared that if she didn't think them through they would happen because she hadn't thought it through. To this point she was so anxious that she was scared that her anxiety would cause an anxiety attack. The fear of fear rushed through her, as if she didn't feel bad enough already. Cold sweats shook through her, and she desperately tried wiping her clammy hands on her jeans.

Anna was driving. They were on their way to the hospital. Traffic was heavy. A few honks sounded from behind them. Elsa started bouncing her knee. She pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to think straight.

"Hey," Anna said trying to catch the blonde's attention. "We don't have to do this. I can just drop you off and pick you up later."

"No, I want to do this."

"Els, don't do this for me. You're looking really pale, I'm going to pull over."

"No! Don't pull over, I'm fine. I'm always pale."

Anna wasn't convinced, but she didn't pull over. She thought it might make matters worse. Elsa couldn't handle any more stress right now.

"What can I do?" the redhead asked, almost dying with concern.

"I'm fine, nothing to worry about," Elsa tried.

"Obviously you're _not fine_, I've never seen you this nervous before. What's going on?"

That was it. That did it. Elsa unbuckled her seatbelt and bend over to put her head between her legs. The blood was threatening to run from her head, and passing out in the car on the way to the hospital wasn't a part of the plan.

"Just give me a sec," her voice shook.

Anna didn't know what to do. Hesitantly she started to rub a hand over the blonde's back. It seemed to help. As soon as Anna saw fit, she pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Els…," she soothed. "Please look at me."

With a deep breath, Elsa sat up straight. She looked exhausted. To Anna's relief, she noticed how the blood was slowly returning to the older girl's cheeks. With a sigh of relief, Anna cupped Elsa's cheeks with her hand. She pulled their foreheads together.

"You don't have to do this," she repeated.

Anna's empathy and understanding made Elsa relax. She closed her eyes and let her comfort. She was going to be fine. They sat like that for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry," Elsa uttered tiredly.

"Don't apologize," Anna quickly said.

Another brief moment passed.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"No, let's go to the hospital. I'm feeling much better."

Anna looked sceptical.

"Are you sure?" she asked doubtfully.

"Positive," the older girl assured her, even giving her a smile to convince her.

With a frown, Anna pulled back out on the road. They reached the hospital in no time, traffic thinning out as soon as they made it out of the city. Hand in hand they walked through the double doors to the hospital. Gerda greeted them by the front desk. She was smiling widely as Elsa introduced Anna as her girlfriend.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Gerda said, before turning to Elsa. "It's sure is lovely to see you bringing so many new visitors lately."

Elsa was perplexed for a moment. Anna was the first new visitor she'd brought in over three years.

"I'm not sure I'm following," the blonde stated kindly to Gerda.

"Oh, I'm talking about the lovely gentleman who went to see her yesterday. He came by around thirty minutes ago, I'm sure he is still in there," Gerda said gladly.

Confusion became the most dominant feature on Elsa's face. Anna noticed the sudden shift in Elsa's expression. Something was wrong, that much was obvious. Letting go of Anna's hand and without excusing herself she walked with hasty steps towards her mom's room. Gerda and Anna were never more than two steps behind her.

Without knocking, Elsa pushed open the door. When she saw who was on the other side, she soon wish she hadn't. She wished she could just close the door again and never come back.

"Dad?" she breathed in disbelief.

* * *

**A/N:** thanks to Valathe for betaing!


	18. Calm After the Storm

**Chapter 18 – Calm After the Storm**

**Warning/heads up: **Angsty chapter.

**A/N:** Notes at the bottom.

* * *

"Dad?" her voice shook, barely believing the man was standing before her.

It was like seeing a ghost. Elsa was so astounded by his presence she didn't even notice Anna leaving the room for a few seconds.

The man in front of her didn't look like her father – at least not in the way she remembered him. No. The man in front of her was scrawny, the skin looking as if it was the only thing keeping his bones in place. His cheeks were hollow, his eyes tired and sad. His clothes looked too big for him, as if he couldn't fill them out anymore. The hair on his head had turned grey over the years. He looked worn-out, his hands veiny and thin.

Her body was torn. She didn't know how to react. The relief of seeing her father alive and well briefly washed over her. Then it was substituted with fear. A ball of good old terror filled Elsa's stomach. It soon became the most dominant feeling inside of her, ruling her body, and making the blood freeze to ice in her veins.

What did this mean? What was he doing here?

Somehow, all of those questions seemed irrelevant to Elsa. Because she just had a moment, a brief moment of weakness, where she was happy to see him. Instead of asking why or how, her mind was only focused on the bright side of his presence. He was here, wasn't he? That must've meant that he was doing good. That he was out of prison, and was no longer a danger to his surroundings…. Yet, the question of how he had found her returned to her mind. The question lingered on Elsa's mind more than anything now. They'd left Arendelle years ago, and told no one of their departure. How was this possible?

She looked to her mother. It was odd having both of her parents in the same room. It only took her a few seconds to notice how screwed up it was. Her mom was hooked up to machines, still breathing, but remaining as lifeless as ever. Elsa noticed how her dad had followed her gaze. His eyes were now resting on her mother's features, too. There was something in his look. He mouth twitched the slightest.

Elsa turned her head, her dad mimicking her motion. Their eyes locked. There was no doubt about where Elsa had gotten her eyes from. Her dad's eyes were as icy blue as hers, holding the same sapphire color as her own. A tiny simper appeared on the man's lips. It made Elsa's heart twitch.

"Oh, Elsa… look at you. You're so big," the man spoke with a fatherly tone. There was pride in his voice, it wasn't hard to tell.

The words hit an old desire for Elsa to hear such things fall from her father's lips again, and it unmistakably made Elsa's heart swell inside of her chest. Seeing him again tore open a wound Elsa thought she'd sown shut a long time ago. He was the man who split her family apart. For all she knew, her real dad was still somewhere in Afghanistan. But this right here, it seemed so real. Despite his bony features, it was almost like looking at her dad before he flew half way across the world to join a war.

Anna stood behind the blonde, watching the man with caution. Something didn't feel right.

"Come here," her dad said with tears in his eyes. His arms widened, spreading out to make room for his daughter in a long awaited warm embrace.

Elsa's eyes soon became glossy as well. She wanted nothing more than to walk to the man and reciprocate the hug. But her mind forced her to be skeptical. The fear in her gut wasn't easy to ignore. But he was here… how could that mean anything other than he was healthy and sane again? It had been eight years, hadn't it? He looked so happy to see her.

Elsa took a daring step forward. Anna had to fight the urge to grip onto Elsa's collar and pull her back. A tear rolled down Elsa's cheek. She'd missed her dad so dearly, and here he was. He was back. That was for some reason enough to make Elsa approach the man. Gently she leaned up against him and let him wrap his arms around her. The man sighed in relief, stroking his daughter's back soothingly.

"She's trying to kill me, Elsa," he whispered into her ear.

_Oh no._

Elsa's eyes widened. She was holding her breath. She was suddenly scared to breathe. The ball of fear in Elsa's stomach had been right. She should have listened to her intuition. He was crazy. Her dad was crazy, and somehow, he'd escaped prison.

She was careful not to make any sudden moves. If she showed any form of resistance or mistrust… she didn't know what he might do. But she knew what he was capable of. For all she knew, he could've had a knife on him, maybe even a gun. Carefully she backed away.

"W-what are you talking about, Dad? Mom's in a coma. She has been for almost four years," Elsa tried to reason.

Slowly, oh so slowly, she shot a look at Anna who was standing frozen to the spot behind her. Elsa's eyes were screaming for help.

"It's all part of her plan, can't you see? She's just waiting for the right moment to strike" he hissed, his words poisonous with obsession.

Those were the words of a maniac. The paranoia was evident in his voice, the words dripping with fear. He was truly convinced that the unconscious woman resting on the bed was plotting to kill him.

She swallowed hard. The man was too close to her. He was too close to her mom. He was too close to Anna. The man was dangerous. He was ready to tear her life apart for the second time. She couldn't let him.

"You're right." Elsa paused for a brief moment. "We need to get you out of here," she lied.

For more than eight years, her dad had been in the strong belief that her mom was trying to kill him. There was no point in trying to convince him otherwise. So instead, perhaps she could use it to her advantage. And it worked. He believed her and didn't resist when she took him by the shoulder to lead him out of the room. He was willingly following her. They passed Anna, and Elsa connected their eyes as they did.

The plan had worked, but what now?

Luckily, she didn't have to think that far. Four policemen were storming towards them. Elsa immediately let go of her dad's shoulder, as if he had been a piece of searing-hot metal. She sidestepped to make room for the cops. Anna's arm quickly snaked around her girlfriend's waist and pulled her to her protectively. Elsa buried her face in Anna's shoulder while the police pressed her dad up against the wall to cuff him. She didn't need to see this. Anna held her close, a firm hand on the back of Elsa's head to keep her in place. She didn't want Elsa to see this either.

The officers did a snap job. In and out. They didn't want to scare the other patients or the staff more than necessary. Anna held Elsa like a protective mother shielding her child from a scary movie. She felt the blonde shake in her embrace, but Elsa refused to let any tears spill. She was holding her breath until it was all over. Elsa had no idea how long they were standing there. All she knew was that she was hugging Anna close, knowing she'd be lost if she ever let go.

"I love you," Anna kept whispering into her ear in a despairing attempt to distract her girlfriend. "You're safe here with me. No one's going to hurt you…," the redhead lulled.

She covered Elsa's ears when the cuffed man began shouting. This couldn't be happening. Elsa had already been through so much, she didn't need this. This wasn't fair. _Hasn't Elsa been through enough already, _Anna kept asking herself. Anna was determined on getting through this as painlessly as possible. Unfortunately, she couldn't heal emotional wounds, but she would damn sure try.

The hall was clear. Finally. Before letting Elsa go, Anna asked Gerda to close the door to her mother's room. There was no point in reminding Elsa about her mother's condition. Not now. They would visit next Sunday.

Gently, Anna loosened her tight embrace around her girlfriend. Elsa pulled back, reluctant to look anyone in the eye.

"How'd…? W-what…? I don't understand…," Elsa stammered.

The look on her face made Anna's heart tremble. It was the look of betrayal. Hurt. Anger. All mixed together into one big bowl of confusion. Anna placed a hand on the blonde's cheek, her thumb caressing her smooth skin gently.

"I made Gerda call Arendelle's police department the moment I saw him, making her ask them if anyone had been missing. Thank God she did…," the redhead mumbled, pulling Elsa back in for another crushing hug. "I was so scared he might hurt you…," she whispered as a tear rolled over the tip of her nose.

The words hit Elsa with a pang of guilt. She kissed Anna's temple, assuring her that she was fine. Anna wasn't sure whether she should believe her. Elsa wasn't fine, she couldn't be.

They were interrupted by a pair of cops walking towards them. One was a woman, the other male, both with pitch-black hair. The woman had a cold gaze, her brown eyes resting taciturnly on Elsa's face. The man, on the other hand, wore a more gentle expression, his features demonstrating at least a small hint of sympathy.

"Excuse me, Miss. We'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind," the man spoke.

Anna wiped her eyes, pulling away from Elsa slightly. She wasn't much for letting Elsa go.

"Does it have to be right now, Officer? My girlfriend has had a pretty rough morning," Anna excused, affectionately tucking on Elsa's sleeve, underlining that this was the girlfriend she was talking about.

The man frowned. Anna noted that Elsa hadn't protested.

"I'm afraid it can't wait," the woman intervened.

Elsa sighed as she stepped further down the hall with the two officers. Anna stood behind, her arms coming around to hug herself tight. The blonde looked over her shoulder trying to shoot Anna a calming smile. It wasn't convincing.

Elsa was barely present while speaking to the officers. Her body was there, but her mind was somewhere far gone. She answered the few questions that they had. What her relationship was to the man, why she was at the hospital, and how she would describe the situation. Stuff like that. Soon the detectives wrapped up their notepads and told her they would get back to her when they knew more. Apparently, her father had been missing for weeks.

With an emotionless expression, Elsa thanked the officers. She left the hospital in a hurry, but not before thanking Gerda for calling for help. But she couldn't get herself to give the older woman a hug. Elsa felt poisonous, her skin was burning from her father's touch. She wanted to shower.

Anna walked behind Elsa to the car. She could barely keep up with the blonde's rapid pace. The moment the car doors shut everything fell awfully quiet.

"Els…," Anna spoke carefully.

The blonde was staring blankly into nothing. Anna lifted her hand slowly; her palm came to rest against Elsa's cheek.

"Please look at me," she begged.

Elsa couldn't get herself to do it. But the way Anna was slowly starting to tilt her face forced her to do so.

"I don't want you to be alone," the redhead said the moment she saw the absolute defeat on her girlfriend's face.  
"I'll be fine, Anna. Please don't worry about me…."

"But I _am_ worried about you… I think you should move in for a few days."

"I don't think-" the blonde began, but was soon interrupted.

"It wasn't a question. You're moving in for a few days."

The seriousness in Anna's voice made Elsa shut up.

Within an hour, they'd stopped by Elsa's place to fetch a few things, and were now standing in the elevator on their way up to Anna's floor. The redhead insisted on holding Elsa's hand. She didn't dare to let go. Never had she been more terrified than when she had watched Elsa's father hug her like that. Holding Elsa's hand reassured her that Elsa was still here, and she was okay. As okay as Elsa could be at least.

They entered Anna's room without a word. Marie and Merida weren't home. Elsa dropped her duffle bag next to Anna's bed. Both now just stood in the room, looking at each other, standing completely still. When Elsa moved to the bed and curled up on her side, Anna took the opportunity to curl up behind her girlfriend. The moment Anna put her arms around the blonde Elsa began to sob.

Anna knew it was long coming. She was actually surprised Elsa hadn't broken down in the car on their way home.

"Shh… you're okay… everything's okay…," the redhead whispered softly, as she hugged Elsa's back closer to her.

The sobs that tore through the room were both terrifying to Anna, but in a way also comforting. It showed that Elsa was reacting to all of this, instead of locking it up. In the end, it was a good sign. Because if Elsa didn't let it out now, she probably never would, and it would eat her up from the inside instead. So for every shoulder-jerking sob that escaped the blonde's throat, Anna had to remind herself that this was a good thing.

After an hour, Elsa was too exhausted to cry anymore. Her eyes were puffy, her face warm and abs sore. Anna had sat through all of it, whispering sweet comforting things into her ear, along with the occasional shoulder kiss.

Elsa lifted her head, exhaustion evident on her face. Anna kissed her cheek before catching her eyes.

"Do you think…," Elsa paused slightly. "…we could take a shower…?"

Anna smiled. Elsa turned in her embrace. She was greeted with a kiss on the lips. Elsa assumed that meant yes.

The redhead maneuvered off the bed, dragging Elsa with her. She led her to the bathroom, pulling Elsa closer to her while sprinkling her with warm soft kisses. Smoothly she pulled her sweater over her head revealing a red-laced bra beneath. Despite how upset she was, Elsa was still able to admire it.

With a turn of a knob, Anna switched on the water. Hot rays of liquid fell from the showerhead, and as soon as the redhead had helped Elsa out of her clothes, she pushed her towards the comforting stream. The water hit Elsa's back, washing all her worries away. The tense muscles in her back were gradually unknotting themselves.

Anna pressed herself up against her girlfriend, trapping the heat between them and keeping her warm with her naked body. Their arms wrapped around each other. Elsa's lips were on Anna's neck, nipping gently at the sensitive skin. The hugged each other close. Elsa felt the curve of Anna's hips, her hands caressing the smooth tan skin. She felt the swell of Anna's breasts against her own chest.

They stood in each other's arms underneath the burning stream for a long time, simply blocking out the world until they ran out of hot water.

* * *

**A/N: **It's no secret that I've lost pretty much all my inspiration and motivation to write this story. I cranked out this chapter so I wouldn't leave you guys on a cliffhanger. So here's a quick update: I'm just so stuck on it that I wrote an entire new story to keep you guys entertained until I get it up and running again. That's how I roll.

The story is called _Such is Life_ and there's a small description of what you guys can expect from the story on the bottom of the first chapter. So I hope you guys enjoy _Such is Life_ while I get things sorted with _If That's What You Want_. And who knows, I might even have a new chapter ready next week. Let's see.

Thanks to Valathe for betaing this chapter!

Stay amazing,

-BV

Chapter title inspired by _Calm After the Storm _by The Common Linnets


	19. Friends Part I

**Chapter 19 – Friends Part I**

It was odd waking up naked. And it was even odder waking up naked next to Anna. Sleeping next to someone was still something the blonde had to get used to. She found herself waking up with her arms wrapped around her girlfriend, feeling how her calming breaths made her ribcage expand and contract. She woke to the smell of her hair and the touch of her skin. Elsa didn't know this level of comfort even existed. Not until Anna had showed her.

The hot shower had helped Elsa fall fast asleep. They didn't even bother putting on clothes before they both staggered to bed. They were exhausted from everything that had happened the day before. The couple was just in the desperate need of some peace and quiet.

"Hey, Anna! Can I borrow –!"

Elsa and Anna were both torn abruptly from their sleep as Merida had practically kicked the door in. Instinctively, both girls pulled the comforter to their chests to cover themselves. The rude redhead stood by the doorway, eyes wide with the realization that Anna had company.

"Merida, get out!" Anna hissed, frantically pulling the covers to her, nearly stealing it all from Elsa.

"I need to borrow your charger," Merida stated nonchalant, popping her hip out as she waited impatiently.

"Merida!" the redhead on the bed shrieked, her cheeks flaming red from embarrassment.

Merida sighed, making her shoulders drop in a sign of displeasure.

"Fine, I won't look," the girl groaned annoyed. The younger girl slapped a hand over her eyes in a silly attempt to cover them.

"Not now! Get out!" Anna kept urging, but Merida obviously didn't care about Elsa's presence nor the fact they were both naked under the covers. Elsa's cheeks were blooming scarlet as well. She wanted to disappear under the covers entirely, but Anna had hogged most of the comforter making the act impossible.

"But I need your charger!" the unruly girl threw her hands dramatically in the air.

Anna reached towards the floor and found one of her slippers, which she frenziedly slung after the redhead by the door.

"Go ask Marie!" the freckled girl moaned hysterically as the shoe hit Merida on the shoulder.

Suddenly, Marie appeared behind Merida, her head peaking curiously into Anna's room.

"I heard my name?" the blonde girl said curiously.

Marie quickly caught the sight of the two flustered girls on the bed and broke into a slight giggle fit.

"C'mon, M. Let these two sex-monkeys get dressed. You can borrow my charger."

By this time, Anna was sitting with her face in her hands, burying her shame deeply in her palms. Only Elsa registered the wink Marie smoothly delivered upon her exit. She was tugging Merida lightly by the arm, and shutting the door gently behind them. Elsa and Anna heard the two girls laugh loudly on the other side. This was not how Elsa had pictured her morning.

The older girl leaned back into the pillows, her hands running through her hair. Anna cursed under her breath, scolding her roommates angrily despite their lack of presence. Elsa had quickly recovered, and just watched Anna's naked back as the redhead got the anger out of her system.

With a dainty light touch, Elsa slalomed a finger down the track of her girlfriend's spine. Anna's skin was soft to the touch, and Elsa was silently admiring the few freckles dusted across her shoulder blades. Her finger came to a halt at the younger girl's lower back. Anna seemed to visibly relax by the touch. Elsa took it as a sign to continue. One finger became two, and soon Elsa was running her entire palm across Anna's back. She felt goosebumps rise beneath her fingertips. Anna exhaled noisily, her eyes now closed. Elsa swallowed, another blush creeping upon her cheeks when she saw what her touch was doing to Anna. It was like magic. She never knew she had such impact on her girlfriend.

After a few minutes, Elsa sat up and kissed Anna's shoulder softly, her lips barely gracing her. Then she wrapped her arms around Anna's waist and pulled her down with her, back into the comfort of the silky pillows. Elsa's naked chest pressed against Anna's shoulder. The redhead was so warm against her. Elsa noticed she wasn't just warm on the outside. Anna, somehow, also managed to warm her on the inside. Her heart didn't feel like her heart anymore, it felt like the sun. She was glowing and beaming on the inside. She would never let this feeling go. Never again. No one could steal it from her. Not her dad, not her mom, not anyone. Not anymore. She was determined to hold onto this feeling for the rest of her life. And she was hoping that Anna was feeling the same way.

Anna turned her head, teal eyes meeting blue. The redhead offered a crooked, shy smile.

"I'm sorry about them…," Anna apologized, her hand found Elsa's cheek and pulled her face towards her. She gently caressed Elsa's cheekbone with her thumb, happily noting that there was no sign anymore of the bruise Hans had once wreaked.

"It's okay…," Elsa mumbled, lost in Anna's face.

It didn't bother Elsa much the way Merida had barged in on them. Of course, it would be nice if she didn't make a habit of it. But in the end, Elsa was just happy to see that not all of Anna's friends hated her. Sure, Sven was slowly starting to warm up to her, but it would take time.

Elsa couldn't resist any longer. She leaned over and caught Anna's lips, and shared their first kiss of the day. Anna sighed joyfully into the kiss. They pulled apart after a few seconds. Elsa played with a strand of Anna's hair.

"I don't want to go to work today…," Anna mumbled, caressing the arm Elsa had slung around her.

"Then don't. You're the boss."

There was a slight tuck on Elsa's lips. Anna snorted once. It was clear that Elsa was feeling much better today. Just the look in her eyes after they'd kiss made her sure of that.

"Will you stay in bed with me all day then?" Anna tilted her head to look at Elsa with pleading eyes.

"Well…since you ask so nicely, I guess I could make that sacrifice."

Anna turned in Elsa's embrace and pressed herself against her girlfriend. Their chests collided, and so did their lips. Anna giggled as Elsa tickled her with tiny kisses on the bridge her nose. The blonde's lips moved down her jaw and to her neck, nibbling gently at the smooth skin.

"I might just give you the day off then," the redhead snickered. "In exchange for a foot rub."

"Power is wasted on you, Ms. Albright," Elsa smiled against Anna's neck.

Both girls chuckled as Elsa rolled over leaving her on top as the satisfied conqueror of the domain. She held herself up by the elbows, her naked stomach pressed against Anna's. Anna's hands snuck onto Elsa's back, feeling her strong back and running her hands up and down her milky white skin. She felt the scar that trailed up Elsa's ribcage, caressing it gently.

They stayed in bed until four, talking, cuddling and laughing. They talked about old days, shared awkward sex-stories, learned about each other's hopes and ambitions. Elsa's heart crumbled a tiny bit when she listened to Anna describe a future without children. Well, without children of her own. Elsa could hardly bear the fact that she would never get to witness tiny little Annas running around. If there was one thing Elsa was absolutely certain of, it was that Anna would be an amazing mother. Elsa knew that Anna would at one point become a terrific mother to some lucky child out there. And maybe Elsa could be a part of it? The thought scared her. Kids were never something Elsa had spared much thought. But kids with Anna… it didn't sound entirely horrible. In fact, it sounded strangely delightful.

Sadly, Elsa had to get dressed and leave her girlfriend behind. She had a meeting with a police officer at the police station. They'd requested that she came down for further discussions after work. She wasn't happy about it, but at the same time she was curious. She wanted to know how this could have happened.

"Do you want me to go with you?" the redhead on the bed asked with an obvious trace of concern in her voice.

"No thanks. I already texted Astrid. She's meeting me there," Elsa smiled. She leaned down and planted a long soft kiss on Anna's lips.

The redhead was left with butterflies in her stomach and the feeling of things finally falling into place.

* * *

The wooden heels of her shoes clacked against the pavement as she walked down the street. She was now regretting not taking Anna up on her offer to accompany her to the police station. Elsa felt jumpy. Yet, knowing her father was back behind bars did comfort her – as much as a daughter could comfort herself by the thought that her dad was in prison. But the unexpected and intrusive visit by the older man still had her head spinning. Reliving the event during another discussion with a police officer left her palms sweaty and her eyes tired.

If someone had asked her to trade lives with her, she might have said yes. A few months ago, she would have jumped at the opportunity. Two days ago, she would have said no. Amazing how people can turn your life upside down. Someone just had to go tip over Elsa's card house – the one she'd been so patiently building these past few months. Luckily, with Anna by her side, she at least didn't have to start from scratch.

She just had to get this over with.

Then she could move on with her life. Again.

Elsa unbuttoned her blazer as she walked up the few stairs to the police station. Astrid sat on one of the benches by the entrance. Phones were ringing and people dressed in uniforms sat by computers while taking sips of black bitter-looking coffee.

"Hey. Thanks for coming," Elsa greeted and placed herself next to her friend.

"No problem," her friend shrugged and smiled lightly. "How are you feeling?"

Elsa looked at her feet, wrapping her arms loosely around herself.

"I've been better…." She skillfully avoided Astrid's gaze. "I honestly didn't feel like coming down here today… it's all a bit too fast. But the officers yesterday were persistent."

Astrid nodded understandingly and padded Elsa gently on the knee.

"I know this must be hard for you. Hang in there, Bambi. We're all here for you."

Astrid's words might not have sounded like much, but they meant the world to Elsa. It reminded her that there was a life after all of this was over. A life she was eager to get back to. She wanted to keep building on her card house.

"So, how's Anonymous doing? I still don't get his name?" Elsa wanted to talk about something else to distract herself. Astrid's secret boyfriend seemed like the obvious choice. What she didn't expect was that Astrid's gaze averted downwards, her eyes falling to the floor in an almost shameful expression.

"Let's not talk about him," Astrid spoke, her tone of voice almost bitter.

The taller woman was about to say something but was interrupted by a kind-looking man who asked her to follow him. She shot a glance over her shoulder at Astrid as the man led her to an office where she took a seat and waited.

Elsa placed herself in the wooden chair on the other side of the table. The room was small, it made her feel uneasy. She started bouncing her knee out of pure discomfort. In walked an older woman, probably in her late forties. Her hair was pulled back into a bun and the collar of her shirt carried bits of some excess foundation that had rubbed off her chin. She reminded Elsa of a strict schoolteacher.

The woman introduced herself and Elsa quickly forgot her name. The fact that Astrid was waiting in the hall outside comforted Elsa immensely. The officer shuffled some paperwork around on the table, spreading out a few files to get a greater overlook.

Elsa waited patiently in her chair; her legs now neatly crossed and adapting a more confident posture. She was in her clothes from yesterday, a pair of blue slacks, a woolen white sweater, and her black blazer. Her hands rested calmly in her lap. She fought the urge to fiddle with her fingers, a nervous tick she'd worked hard to get rid of.

The officer cleared her throat, folded her hands together on the table, and looked Elsa in the eye.

"Do you know of a Jonas Hamilton?"

Even her voice sounded strict. Elsa prayed that this woman didn't have children, because coming home to that everyday must be exhausting.

"Should I?" the blonde asked, never having heard the name before.

The officer slid a picture across the table and Elsa observed it from a distance. She knew nothing about the man on the picture, never having seen him before in her life.

"Jonas shared a cell with your father in prison until his escape," the officer explained. "He went to your high school. Jonas is related to the Hamilton's who happens to be neighbors to the Albrights. Mrs. Albright mentioned your whereabouts to Mrs. Hamilton, and Mrs. Hamilton told Jonas during her next visit, and I guess you can figure out the rest on your own."

Elsa nodded slightly. She knew of the Hamilton's but had no idea they had a son named Jonas, let alone met him. Elsa used to mow the Hamilton's lawn every weekend during the summer to earn a little extra for cigarettes. She was surprised to hear the Albrights being mentioned. But she knew Arendelle was a small town. People talk, that wasn't new.

"We believe that hearing the news of your whereabouts was his motive for making his escape. We've been trying to catch him for weeks. We've retraced your dad's steps from the moment he escaped. Apparently, he broke into a house to steal some money and clothes before he took off. He was spotted at a library outside of Arendelle, where he used a computer to find your old address in New York. Your mother's name was still registered as the owner, which she'd registered in her maiden name. He arrived to New York a few days ago, and visited your old address where he ran into your upstairs neighbor. She told him that your mother was in the hospital, and he's been asking around at every nearby hospital until he got lucky. Your father admitted to most of these things, but some things are still unclear."

The blonde wasn't sure how to respond. It was quite a mouthful to process. The officer leaned forward in her chair, her shoulders coming up to her ears. The two woman exchanged a few words back and forth, Elsa dutifully answering all of the officer's many questions. The older woman shuffled all files to the side in a small stack on the corner of the table. She looked Elsa in the eye. The woman had brown eyes, Elsa noted.

"What we don't understand is why he hadn't tried harming your mother the first time he visited her at the hospital," the woman said.

Anger welled within the young woman when she finally gathered what the officer was saying. Her eyebrows came together in an irritated expression.

"For Christs Sakes, my dad isn't a cold blooded murderer. He is sick! And despite his condition, snippets of his old self still remain," she explained.

The officer shrugged, the words clearly not having the impact Elsa intended them to have.

"The man is dangerous, Ms. Christianson. Given his record, you of all people should know that."

"He's still a person. A victim," Elsa argued.

"That may be, but it doesn't change the fact that he broke the law."

The blonde leaned back in her seat. This conversation was draining her of all of her energy. The entire day spent with Anna, charging her batteries, were put to use already. Her batteries were worn by now, and she rubbed her forehead. The officer noticed the girl's obvious distress. For the first time, she attempted a softer approach.

"Look. All we are trying to do is understand. Your father is back in prison, and we just want to prevent another escape," the older woman spoke.

Elsa looked up, her arms crossing over her chest, but not in a hostile way.

"Okay… but I don't know how to help you. I already told you everything that I know."

The officer nodded thankfully.

"That's all we're asking for Ms. Christianson. We'll be in touch."

* * *

Anna walked out of her room wearing only her bathrobe.

"Well, someone didn't go to work today," Merida announced as she saw Anna's messy hair.

Anna waved her off, grabbing a glass from one of the cupboards and fetched herself a glass of water. Marie was standing by the stove, cooking pasta for an entire army. Marie never failed to make too much food. The three girls were silent for a little while, all of them doing their own thing. Marie by the stove, Merida playing on her phone and Anna by the sink. The freckled girl took a swig of water, holding it in her mouth for just a tad too long. There was something she had to get off of her chest. She stood by the sink for a while, weighing whether this was the right moment. But then again, it was now or never actually. Elsa would be back within a few hours and then it would be too late.

Anna cleared her throat, but the two girls paid her no mind. Marie was humming along to a tune on the radio and Merida was utterly lost in a game or an email or something like that.

"Hey, guys. Can I talk to you for a sec?" Anna quaked, her voice suddenly sounding more nervous than intended.

Merida and Marie both took note of Anna's nervous tone of voice. Both girls put down what was in front of them and turned their gazes towards Anna.

"What's up, darling?" Marie spoke as she leaned over the counter.

"Everything alright?" Merida supplied, closing the distance between her and her two friends.

Anna bit her bottom lip. The redhead sighed deeply, suddenly feeling a bit stupid for worrying them over something like this.

"I need to ask you guys something. Well, I guess I need to tell you something, because, in a way, it is already too late to ask, since I already did the thing-"

"Anna!" Merida snapped her fingers, interrupting her ramble. "Get to the point please."

"Right. Okay. I asked to Elsa move in for a couple of days. _Just_ a few days! We'll mostly just be in my room, and I know I should've asked you first but it was a spur of the moment decision, and I'm sorry."

Merida and Marie looked at each other, then back at Anna. The freckled girl suddenly felt rather naked in her bathrobe. There was no real indication of their reaction on any of their faces, which made the silence even more painful for Anna.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. Maybe ask us first next time, but whatever," Merida shrugged, barely seeming to be bothered by Anna's words. The apartment was big enough to host a small swim team. They even had a guest bedroom. Elsa staying over wouldn't be a problem.

"Did something happen?" Marie asked.

The question hung in the air for a little while. The silence was enough to convince both Merida and Marie that something did indeed happen. Anna put down her glass of water, jumping onto the counter and crossed her legs. It was a relief to get it off of her chest. She told her roommates about everything that had happened yesterday. Both girls remained silent until Anna finished. The shock was evident on their faces. This of course meant that Anna also had to share a painful lot of Elsa's past. The redhead couldn't help but feel tense when it came to that subject. It had taken the blonde so long to open up to her, and now here she was, spilling all of Elsa's secrets and heartache.

"Wow… I can't believe her dad just showed up like that. Can't that girl ever catch a break?"

Anna was overwhelmed with the amount of sympathy her roommates expressed for Elsa's situation.

"You definitely can't let her go back to that empty apartment. I think it's a good call, Anna. She shouldn't be alone right now."

Relief washed over the redhead, this confrontation had been plaguing her all morning.

"Thank you guys for being so understanding. Please don't tell Elsa that I told you though. She's rather private about this sort of stuff."

"Lips are sealed," Merida made a gesture by the corner of her mouth, as if she was turning a key.

"Actually, I think you should invite Astrid over tonight too. And Sven. Let's have a get together. It would be a great way for us to get to know Elsa better."

"Are you sure?" Anna asked, taken aback by the sudden invite.

"If your girlfriend supplies the booze she can stay as long as she wants," Merida uttered, moving her way to the couch and plopping down on it.

Anna pursed her lips. Gosh, how was she going to talk her way out of this one? She might as well tell them, there was no reason to keep it hidden at this point.

"Actually… about alcohol…"

* * *

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit. Do you need me to pick something up from the store?" Elsa spoke into the phone. She nodded a few times before saying 'I love you too. Bye'.

Astrid stood silently by her side and waited for Elsa to hang up.

"Wow, throwing around the big L like that. I'm proud of you. You guys must be getting serious," her friend assumed.

Elsa smiled vaguely and shrugged once. It was a relief to be outside and the fresh air did her good. The dry air at the crammed police station was finally being forced out of her system. She was glad it was over. She could finally think of something other than her dad. It was hard not to be happy after such a lovely day with Anna, and now hanging out with Astrid.

"I guess you could say that."

"Well, I'm glad that it's working out between you two," Astrid stated genuinely. "So, a get together at Anna's, huh? What about Kristoff?"

Astrid was supposed to meet Kristoff for a cup of coffee to catch up. The blonde wanted to apologize in person for not telling Astrid about the fight between Elsa and Hans. He'd expressed how bad he felt over the phone when Astrid had called him to scold him. But at the same time, Astrid had understood where he came from. He'd promised Elsa not to tell, and Astrid couldn't blame the man for being trustworthy.

"He's invited too, I asked Anna."

Astrid groaned, annoyed that her attempt of getting out of the party was ruined.

"It's great that you're making friends and all, but do I really have to be involved? Are you sure you're even feeling up for it after what happened yesterday?" Astrid questioned, clearly not entirely hooked on the idea of going to Anna's place.

"Yes. You really do. You making more friends wouldn't hurt you. And no, but Anna doesn't want me to be alone right now, and I don't want to worry her. Plus, it might be a good distraction."

"I've got plenty of friends," Astrid huffed sounding offended.

The lousy comeback nearly made Elsa snort. They were walking down the sidewalk, and Elsa could now see the illuminated sign spelling out _The Blue Reindeer_ less than 100 meters ahead.

"You have three," the taller woman replied, holding up three fingers.

"I have more than three."

"Okay, so Kristoff, me and Anonymous – whom I still don't know anything about by the way. Who else?"

Astrid clenched her jaw and took a few seconds to think. The smirk on Elsa's face was unmistakably mocking

"Kenny from retail," Astrid snapped her fingers, her voice sounding as if she'd just won the entire argument.

Elsa shook her head lightly and snorted.

"You're not friends with Kenny from retail. He wants to date you. He's like a sad little puppy running after you whenever he sees you."

"Fine, but what makes you think I'll like these people?"

Astrid was being impossible.

"Would you just give them a chance? It would mean a lot to me. They're Anna's friends, and you're basically my sister, so you'd have to meet them at some point eventually."

They stood outside _The Blue Reindeer_. Elsa waved at Kristoff through the window. The blonde man waved back, tapping his wrist twice, indicating that he'd be out in a few minutes. Elsa nodded in reply.

"You're killing me, Bambi," Astrid groaned.

Elsa playfully swatted Astrid across the shoulder making her friend laugh.

"And could we drop the embarrassing nicknames just for one night?"

"Hey, you just said I was your sister, and as your sister I'm entitled to at least one embarrassing nickname."

"Fine. Then I'm entitled to one too. And I choose Studmuffin."

"That's a horrible nickname. And really inappropriate."

"I know. No Bambi tonight. Or I'll name my firstborn after you. Astrid Studmuffin Christianson."

"Fine. I'll behave."

* * *

**A/N:** Big thanks to valathe, midnight1339 and sedryn for helping me get this story back on track. I'm hoping to update next week if all goes well.

Also, I'm happy to announce that my upcoming story "A World That Doesn't Care" _will_ be published as soon as I have finished Such is Life and If That's What You Want.

Thanks for your support,

BV


	20. Friends Part II

**Chapter 20 – Friends Part II**

Elsa, Kristoff, and Astrid were standing in the elevator on their way to Anna's apartment. The three friends had stopped at the store on their way over. Elsa had skillfully predicted that Anna wouldn't supply alcohol for this get-together. She was too considerate. But Elsa hated spoiling the fun for everyone else. Which was why Astrid carried two bottles of wine under her arm, and Kristoff held a box of beer in his embrace.

Six months of being a party killer and Elsa had finally decided enough was enough. She needed to learn how to be around alcohol. It had taken months, but now it barely affected her. Besides, with Astrid there, and now also Anna, she knew she was in safe hands. There was nothing to worry about. It was nice Anna and her friends were considerate, but Elsa also needed to establish the fact that she wasn't made of glass. She wouldn't break by seeing someone take a sip of wine, or being around a few unattended glasses of beer. Elsa had already hit one of her life's lowest points. She wasn't about to go down that road again. Not when she had so much more to lose this time.

"Hey, does my hair look okay?" Kristoff asked, blowing his bangs out of his face.

"It looks exactly like it always looks," Astrid said without even looking his way.

"That doesn't answer my question," he argued. He let go of the beer with his one hand to smooth down his blonde locks.

"Since when do you care?" the girl shot, obviously not trying to help her friend out by answering his simple question.

"You look fine, Kris," Elsa intervened tiredly, not in the mood to witness her friends start an argument over something as silly as Kristoff's hair. She was trying to settle her nerves as they all stepped out of the elevator. The blonde was nervous. This was the first time she was going to meet Anna's roommates. _Really_ meet them. Not just seeing them at a club or being barged in on in the morning. She was most likely going to have to talk to them, and she wanted to make a good first impression.

The three of them stood outside the door. There was music coming from the other side. Elsa took a moment to collect herself. She ran her hands through her hair. She was about to knock but changed her mind in the last second. Didn't she technically live there? At least for a few days? Did that mean she could just enter without knocking? The thought made her uncomfortable. It wasn't her home, and she didn't want to seem disrespectful.

"Just knock," Kristoff said, wondering why they were just standing there, his arms getting tired from the liters of beer in his grasp.

Elsa finally curled her fingers into a fist and knocked on the door. They heard footsteps approach and Marie appeared on the other side.

"Come on in you guys," she said with a smile.

Elsa entered, followed by Astrid and Kristoff. She immediately started scouting for Anna. In her search, she saw Sven sitting on one of the couches, and as they briefly locked eyes, he gave her a polite nod. Elsa returned the gesture, appreciating the silent peace offering. She faintly heard Marie introduce herself to her friends behind her, but she was much too focused on finding Anna. Luckily, she didn't have to look for long. Anna was getting on her feet, leaving Merida and Sven to talk on the couch. The redhead was smiling as she approached her, and Elsa smiled in return.

"Hey, babe," Anna greeted, putting a hand on Elsa's cheek.

"Hi." Elsa leaned over for a kiss while Astrid and Kristoff stepped around them and entered the living room. Anna was the one to pull back, smiling warmly at her girlfriend. From the corner of her eye, Anna noticed the beer and wine Elsa's friends had brought. It took her by surprise and Elsa noticed the startled look on her face.

"I figured you'd made sure there wasn't any drinks around for tonight," Elsa explained.

Anna's eyes widened, her eyebrows shooting into her hairline.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed-"

"It's fine. It was very considerate of you. I haven't exactly been great when it comes to sharing details about this sort of stuff. I should've just told you."

Instead of pulling Elsa down to her, Anna lifted her heels off the ground and reached up for Elsa's lips. The blonde was surprised to feel her girlfriend's soft mouth on hers, but didn't protest. Everyone was too busy to spare the couple a thought. Merida had greeted Kristoff by jumping onto his back and made him carry her to the kitchen to put the beers in the refrigerator. That was how she introduced herself now-a-days. Merida wasn't much for formal introductions. Astrid seemed impressed by the redhead's boldness, and she couldn't hold back a smirk of approval. Marie grabbed Astrid's hand a moment later, leading her to the couches to join her and Sven.

Anna pulled back a few seconds later, leaving Elsa's head swimming. Their gazes locked for a moment. Then they heard a loud noise coming from the kitchen followed by "we're okay!"

Anna snorted, shaking her head lightly.

"You definitely saved Merida's evening. She's much more fun when there's alcohol."

The women laughed, and Elsa brushed an astray strand of hair behind Anna's ear. The redhead's face suddenly turned serious, her hands finding Elsa's shoulders, leaning into her.

"How did it go at the station?" she asked, genuinely curious.

She immediately regretted asking, after seeing Elsa's face falter. She internally scolded herself, knowing she should've waited to ask. Elsa was in such a good mood tonight, she didn't want to ruin it. To Anna's relief, Elsa simply shrugged, giving her a half-smile.

"I'm just glad it's over."

The shorter girl nodded, knowing she should probably stop with the questions now before ruining Elsa's mood entirely. However, there was just one thing there was left to say. One last thing, and she could enjoy this party in peace.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to. I just thought maybe some company would be good for you," she worried.

"I want to be here, it's a good distraction. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go meet my girlfriend's roommates – wearing clothes this time."

The older woman cupped her girlfriend's cheeks and planted one last kiss on her lips before she headed towards the couches where Marie, Sven and Astrid sat. Anna stared lovingly at Elsa as she sat down next to Sven. Anna found herself so flattered that Elsa was willing to get to know her friends like this. It meant everything to her that the people in her life got along. She knew how apprehensive Elsa could get, the unexpected meeting with her parents was proof enough of that. Seeing how Elsa put herself out there, all because of Anna, made the redhead's heart jump. She was reminded of all the reasons she fell in love with her. How selfless Elsa could be, even at her own expense. How charming and mesmerizing she was when she really put her mind to something. And tonight, Anna could easily sense that Elsa had put to mind to befriend her friends. Elsa might not have been the best girlfriend in the world, but she was trying. She was trying harder than anyone, and that was enough to convince Anna that she was the one.

As Anna admired her girlfriend from a distance, Elsa took the opportunity to introduce herself properly to Marie. It turned out they had a great deal in common. Both had family in Europe. Elsa had relatives in Norway, and Marie's family lived in France. Both were great fans of literary work, so they had plenty to talk about. Of course, until Merida interrupted them. Merida was suddenly hungry, and spent a large amount of time trying to convince Marie to make pizzas.

Sven and Elsa sat side by side, not saying much. Elsa wasn't sure how things were left between them, she remembered their last conversation being rather intense. Although, Sven did agree to at least try to become friends. The man appeared to be in a good mood tonight. Sven was freshly shaved and he seemed to have gotten a good night's sleep. She didn't want to overstep his boundaries by being the first to initiate contact. The music was overriding the awkward silence, and the ongoing pizza argument on the couch across from them was definitely entertaining. Kristoff stepped out of the kitchen, a drink in hand, aiming towards where Anna was standing. The man towered the small redhead as he stopped up next to her, but they seemed to hit if off right away.

Elsa felt Sven shift on the couch.

"Who's that?" he leaned over to whisper. Elsa was surprised by the curiosity in his voice and followed his gaze. Sven's eyes rested on Kristoff, and it took only two seconds for Elsa to put two and two together.

"That's Kristoff," she answered with a slight tug on her lips, "he doesn't play for your team."

"Damn." The disappointment was evident in his voice.

"Trust me. You're not the first to ask," the blonde assured him.

"No wonder, I mean, look at him."

The woman snorted lightly, which seemed to make Sven smile. This wasn't so bad. There was hardly any tension between them.

"I've got a nice former colleague if you're interested. Just say the word," she offered.

"I accept your offer if you accept my apology."

This night was full of surprises, Elsa noted. She locked eyes with Sven for a brief moment before stretching out her palms towards him.

"Apology accepted."

They shook hands on it and continued to watch Merida trying to get Marie to bake pizzas.

* * *

Anna was left alone the moment Kristoff decided to fetch another beer. He politely asked if the redhead wanted one, and she kindly declined. The large blonde disappeared into the kitchen where Marie was in full swing making pizzas. Merida was taking up an entire couch while talking to Sven and Elsa. Anna smiled at the sight. A sensation of pride welled within her as she observed how Elsa covered her mouth as she laughed at one of Sven's jokes. Her posture was perfect, and her legs were crossed. Anna found her gorgeous as she was sitting there, and she felt a faint tingle in her lower abdomen. If she wasn't mistaken, Elsa's confidence tonight was quite a turn on.

Someone cleared their throat and Anna had to tear her eyes from her girlfriend. Next to her stood Astrid, her big blue eyes staring directly at her. She was holding a beer, Anna noted, which was enough to convince her that Elsa was truly okay being around all of this temptation. Anna didn't know Astrid all too well, but if there was one thing she trusted her with, it was Elsa. The redhead debated whether it would be appropriate to thank the blonde then for everything she'd done for her girlfriend. Before she had the chance, Astrid spoke.

"I assume Elsa told you about her AA meetings and everything else?" the blonde to a swig of her beer, one hand buried in the pocket of her slacks. Both girls were facing slightly towards the small crowd on the couches. Kristoff had joined Marie in the kitchen; both of them had their hands covered in flour.

Anna nodded, her arms wrapping loosely around herself to compensate for the lack of a drink in her hand.

"Yeah. I guess we finally reached that point in our relationship where she's starting to open up to me."

There was a brief silence between them before Astrid responded.

"Well, Elsa has her dos and don'ts. Unloading her problems onto someone else has always been a 'don't' for her. She's always been a tough nut to crack. But I guess you of all people know that," the older girl said with a shrug.

It was funny having a conversation in which none of the parties were looking at each other. Both Astrid and Anna's eyes were focused in Elsa's direction, but never resting their eyes on her for too long. It was as if they were suddenly two concerned parents discussing their child. Anna wasn't sure how thrilled Elsa would be if she knew they were talking about her.

"Trust me. I know," the redhead assured her, nodding her head vigorously.

"Thought so," Astrid took a sip of her drink.

Anna wasn't exactly sure where this conversation was going. Astrid didn't give her much to work with. It seemed safest to focus the conversation on Elsa – the one thing she knew they had in common.

"She speaks highly of you, you know. She really looks up to you, you can tell," the younger girl tried.

A faint smile came upon Astrid's lips. Anna couldn't help but notice that Astrid didn't smile too often. The girl always wore this calm collected face. She looked tough. But when she finally did smile, it felt like one of the greatest victories on Anna's behalf.

"You should hear how she talks about you," Astrid snorted. Anna shot her a worried gaze. "All good things."

Another slight pause. Anna felt like Astrid was holding back. As if there was actually a point hidden somewhere in her words. The thought made her a tad uneasy. Astrid's face was serious, definitely not suited for a party.

"So I guess this is the part where I have to remind you that Elsa is fragile. Don't get me wrong, Elsa's also one of the strongest people that I know. She'd do anything for the people she loves. She's just been through so much. I don't want to see her getting hurt. Of course, I know many of her mistakes have been at your expense, but you know she'd never intentionally hurt you."

Astrid spoke in such a monotone way that there was no way Anna could have taken it as an attack. A few seconds ago she was just about to thank Astrid for taking so good care of Elsa, and she realized that this was Astrid doing it again. Taking care of her and looking out for her friend like she always did. It didn't change the fact that the words made Anna feel awkward. Firstly, because Astrid reminded Anna of something she was already painfully aware of. Secondly, because she knew how much Elsa would hate to find out they were talking about her this way. And finally, because Astrid knew how Elsa's mistakes had hurt Anna, and in a way, the redhead felt a little vulnerable realizing that a person, that she barely interacted with, knew so much about her.

Anna didn't let it get to her though. She should be thankful that Astrid was assuring her that Elsa was alright. They were on the same page, the redhead reminded herself.

"I know Elsa is fragile. And I'm being careful," the spoke, trying not to sound defensive.

The older woman took another sip of her beer, as if using the tiny action as a natural pause to what she said next.

"I know you are."

Surprised by the response, Anna dropped her arms to her sides and planted one hand in on her hip.

"Then why are you reminding me?"

Astrid looked her dead in the eye. Her eyes were sad.

"Because I honestly don't think her mom has much time left," she spoke regretfully.

This conversation suddenly didn't belong at a party any longer. The seriousness of it all took Anna aback. She swallowed a lump that was stuck in her throat. Astrid spoke with such certainty. Anna wondered if she had planned this conversation. The timing felt misplaced. But when else was she going to do it? A work in Anna's office? A conversation like this didn't seem to belong anywhere.

"I need you to keep a close eye on her if… _when_ it comes to that. I don't want to see her start drinking again. Last time was a mess. It was hard on both of us," the taller woman continued.

This time she didn't take a swig of her drink. There was no need to use it as a buffer anymore. She'd already dropped the bomb, no need to prolong the conversation further.

"You really don't think her mom is going to wake up?" Anna asked with a tight voice, nearly a whisper.

"Anna, I've been sitting on the side-line for four years holding Elsa's hand. I've spoken to the doctors, and they all say the same. And Elsa isn't listening." There was no hope in Astrid's words. It scared Anna to death. "I love Mrs. Christianson. She's always been good to me. But I think it's her time, and I think it's for the best. Elsa needs to move on soon, and she won't unless her mom wakes up or… doesn't."

"I see…," the redhead croaked.

The music felt deafening so suddenly. The younger girl found herself wrapping her arms around herself again, though this time, it wasn't the casual response to not carrying a drink. She felt the need to protect herself. Anna hadn't realized things were this bad. In a way, Elsa's innocent optimism about her mother's condition had rubbed off on her.

"I know it sounds completely heartless, but I just can't stand watching Elsa suffer any longer. She's been through enough, she deserves some closure."

The blonde lifted the beer to her lips, as if to underline her final words. Both kept their gaze on Elsa. Astrid was right; Elsa did deserve closure. They both knew there was no way of helping her. All they could do was be there for her.

Anna shook her head.

"I don't think you're heartless," she supplied. "I think you're right. But I think all we can really do is be there for her when the time comes," the redhead spoke, sadness covering her features. She looked over at Elsa again. She was still talking to Sven. They were both smiling, and Anna was reminded how much she loved Elsa's smile.

"You should know…," Astrid began, her voice sounding more genuine than ever. "I'm really glad you guys are working things out. It's been a while since I've seen Elsa like this."

Their eyes met for the first time since the conversation started. Anna smiled gently at her, nodding as a silent thank you. Astrid returned the nod.

"And thanks for what you did at the hospital. I think it's a good idea she's moving in with you for a few days. She told me about that. She also told me you didn't give her a choice," Astrid eyed Anna mischievously and Anna couldn't help but snort. "Hey, Elsa isn't good with ultimatums. When it comes to her own well-being she's a master of choosing the wrong thing. The best thing, sometimes is to not to give her a choice."

"Can't argue with that," Anna giggled.

"That's Bambi for you," Astrid smiled, but her smile dropped almost immediately and instead she flinched. "Damn, I promised I wouldn't use that nickname tonight."

The redhead snickered.

"I won't tell, I promise. What's with that nickname anyway?"

"Please, have you _seen _Elsa? She's Bambi on ice. Always has been. I've been calling her that ever since I saved her from this guy in college."

Both girls chuckled. It was a relief the conversation finally lightened up. Anna released a breath, glad it appeared to be over. They both watched as Elsa maneuvered her way over the coffee table and headed their direction. The taller woman snaked an arm around Anna's waist and pecked her on the cheek.

"Hey, what're you guys talking about?" she asked, entirely oblivious to the intense talk the two women had just shared.

Astrid, quick on her feet, shrugged casually before sticking her friend a lie.

"Oh, I was just telling Anna about the time you fell asleep in the sun with a seashell on your chest and when you woke up tomato-red, you had that imprint of a seashell for weeks."

Astrid had this magic ability to keep a straight face whenever she pulled stuff like this. Elsa froze. Anna stifled a laugh by pressing herself against Elsa.

"_You_ were the one who put the sea-shell there!" the taller woman argued.

"Technicalities," Astrid wafted her off.

The redhead in Elsa's arms giggled. Elsa rolled her eyes, squeezing her arms around Anna's waist lovingly. The blonde groaned softly.

"That was the worst holiday ever," she muttered.

"Are you kidding? I was out surfing on awesome waves _all day_! All Elsa did was read books at the beach. She was so boring," Astrid laughed.

Smiling, Anna reached up and kissed Elsa on the cheek. The three of them talked for a little while longer. Thankfully, Astrid kept her promise and did her best to behave. A few noises came from the kitchen and the smell of food filled the apartment. Kristoff came through the drywall arch, his hands full of cold cans of beer.

"Kristoff looks like he could use a hand," Elsa indicated with a finger pointed towards the large blonde trying to carry multiple beers in one go.

"Talk to you guys later," Astrid uttered before she walked off to assist the man.

The atmosphere roamed with laughter and happy people. Merida balanced on the balls of her feet as she waited impatiently for the pizzas to cool down enough so she could eat them.

Elsa looked down at her girlfriend, noting that Anna hadn't had a drink in her hand all night. She held her closer, and Anna leaned her head on her shoulder.

"Is this one of those things where if I can't drink then you won't drink? It's not like I'm pregnant you know," Elsa stated playfully. Anna pulled back just the slightest. She was met by Elsa's crooked smile and her knowing gaze.

Anna smiled gingerly, intertwining their fingers and leaning into Elsa again.

"I know, I just thought…," the redhead wasn't actually sure what she'd just thought. Anna wasn't sure how to go about this exactly. The last thing she wanted to do was tempt Elsa, or mock her by wafting a drink under her nose. She didn't mind making that sacrifice when Elsa was around. There was nothing stopping her from having a glass of wine after a long day at work or at a night out in the town with her friends. But she wanted to show her support when she was with Elsa. It's never fun being the only sober person at the party.

"It's sweet of you," the blonde spoke, kissing her girlfriend's temple lovingly, "but I really don't mind. I don't like knowing I'm holding you back."

"You're not, Els. This is a choice, entirely voluntary."

"But you're doing it for me," she pointed out, but her words held no trace of accusation.

"Of course I am. But wouldn't you do it for me too?"

Elsa saw Anna's point. She couldn't argue with that because the answer was yes. Of course she would do it for Anna, even if she asked her not to.

"I love you," Elsa mumbled, leaning over to kiss her temple once more.

* * *

**A/N:** Big thanks to sedryn for helping me with this chapter :)


	21. Entertain Me

**Chapter 21 – Entertain Me**

Her whimpers tore through the room as if bullets were ripping through her, her hands fisting the sheets and her forehead covered in sweat. Tears ran down her freckled cheeks, leaving a trail moisture and sorrow on her face. Eyes closed, lost in the land of dreams and nightmares, she struggled to catch her breath.

Next to her, Elsa stirred. Anna's ragged breathing woke her and she immediately rolled onto her side to face her girlfriend. She placed a hand on her cheek, instantly feeling the salty tears under her fingertips.

"Anna?" the blonde whispered, her voice soft and calming.

Still, it wasn't enough to rescue Anna from her nightmare. The redhead was still trapped in her restless sleep.

"Anna, please wake up," Elsa tried again, her thumb rubbing over the girl's cheek lovingly.

A sob escaped from Anna's throat, her hands coming up to remove Elsa's hand from her cheek. Everything was dark. Only the light from the digital clock on the nightstand penetrated the darkness with its greenish illuminations. The blonde rolled onto her back so that she could reach the lamp on her bedside table. She flicked on the light and noticed how Anna's skin gleamed with sweat.

"Baby, you're dreaming, you need to wake up."

Finally, Anna's eyes shot open, her chest rising and falling quickly as she gasped for air. With a frown on her face, Elsa moved closer to her. Confusion expelled on the younger girl's face, her eyes fluttering open and shut repeatedly. Finally, she fixated on a spot on the ceiling, trying to get her breath under control. Carefully, Elsa placed her hand on Anna's stomach, gently rubbed her hand over her covered skin.

The older girl was apprehensive. What do you do in these situations? She was careful not to smother Anna, giving her room to breathe instead of hugging her close. But maybe Anna needed her to hug her close right now? Frantically, she tried to remember what her mom used to do whenever she woke up from a bad dream. She remembered her mother's arms wrap protectively around her, lulling her back to sleep.

Without further hesitation, Elsa leaned over and kissed Anna's forehead. The hand on her stomach travelled further down Anna's side, lifting and tilting the girl towards her. Soon Anna's ear was pressed against Elsa's chest, listening to the galloping sound of a frustrated heart. Their legs tangled together, and Elsa pulled the comforter closer to both of them. Tears stained Elsa's night shirt, but she just kept running her hands through copper locks and wished that they would eventually stop falling from her girlfriend's eyes.

The blonde rubbed her back soothingly, kissing the top of her head repeatedly. Anna had calmed down long ago, but Elsa just kept doing what was doing, and Anna didn't seem to protest.

"Am I doing this right?" the older mumbled, her lips ghosting over fiery red locks.

A small smile came upon the redhead's lips as she nuzzled her head into the crook of Elsa's neck.

"You're doing just fine," the girl mumbled happily.

Moments passed as Anna rested in Elsa's protective embrace. Elsa was proud of herself. She'd been wanting to be there for Anna the same way Anna had been there for her countless of times. She wanted to be the strong one for once. A bad dream might not seem like much, but Elsa took what she could get. It made her feel important. Useful. Competent. Knowing she could be there for her girlfriend, comfort her when she needed it, made Elsa feel like she was contributing to the relationship instead of being the one who kept taking.

"Do you want me to get you some water?" Elsa's voice quietly spoke, carried by a wave of worry.

"No thank you… I want you to stay right here," the younger girl assured her.

Happy to know she was doing something right, Elsa nodded lightly, content on staying and providing a protecting frame for as long as her girlfriend needed her.

"Does this happen a lot?" the blonde mumbled into her hair, the smell of mango shampoo filling her nostrils.

It was nice and warm under the covers, their body heat trapped by the cocoon of protection Elsa had created. The older girl snatched one of Anna's hands and placed it over her heart. Elsa's hand remained on top of Anna's, caressing the tan hand that was feeling her heartbeat. The room was quiet and dimly lit. The steady rhythm beneath Anna's palm was comforting. Elsa was so… there. So present and ready to hold her all night if it came to that. The roles were reversed for once.

"No… not since… not since I was at the doctor and she told me…." A sigh escaped her throat and she buried her face in Elsa's hair, fresh tears beginning to sting her eyes.

"Was that what you were dreaming about?" the question escaped her lips before she could stop it. Her voice was dominated by shock and sadness. She knew Anna was devastated about the fact that she lost her baby, and couldn't have children. But Elsa had no idea that this plagued her deeply.

Anna nodded against her neck, a silent confirmation to Elsa's question. It made the older woman tighten her grip around her, resting her lips on top of Anna's head in a long kiss. Because what else could she do? It broke her in half to realize that this feeling, this feeling of being powerless, was a feeling she'd pulled too many people through. This must've been how Astrid had felt when Elsa was mourning over her mother. Or how she had felt watching her drink her life away. Or when Anna had held her when her father was being arrested. This feeling was truly, and utterly awful. And she had no idea how people lived with it. Sure, she could be there for Anna. But… now what? Was this truly all she could do to show her support? She took a moment to reflect. What had Anna and Astrid done? Anna had forced her to move in for a few days. Astrid had accompanied her at her weekly Sunday visits at the hospital. Most important of all, Astrid had sent her to rehab.

Elsa tried to wring her brain to come up with something. Anything. Anything to make this easier for Anna. Anything to prevent a nightmare like this again.

"I think it's time that I tell my parents," the redhead suddenly murmured. It brought Elsa back to reality and her hand started to draw soothing circles on her girlfriend's back again.

"Yeah… I think you're right." A slight nod followed her words.

The room fell quiet again. It was getting hot under the covers, Elsa was about to suffocate from overheating. Swiftly, she pulled the comforter halfway down Anna's torso.

"I just… I don't want to do it over the phone," the redhead croaked.

An ache spread through Elsa's stomach caused by an intrusive idea lighting up in her mind. An idea that she swore would never occur as long as she lived. And now here she was, the forbidden idea pushing its way deeper and deeper into her brain. The worst part of it all was… Elsa might actually start to like the idea. She might even come to think of it as a good idea. The ache build camp in her stomach despite her mind telling her to go for it. The ache was going to put up a tent and built a fireplace, keeping itself snuggly and warm, for the upcoming week. But Elsa knew it was worth it.

"Maybe… maybe we should go to Arendelle over the weekend?" she suggested hesitantly, the ache flashing its sharp teeth, sinking them deeply into the pit of her stomach.

Anna went still in her embrace.

"Are you sure? I don't mind going on my own…." For the first time in a long time, Anna raised her head. They locked gazes as Anna placed an elbow on either side of Elsa to hold herself up. A hand quickly shot up to cup Anna's cheek, Elsa's thumb rubbing over the red puffy cheeks. The redhead's expression suddenly became tentative, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. "But… I actually really want you to come."

Elsa raised herself onto her elbows as well leaving their faces mere centimeters apart. Their noses where nearly touching, their eyes locked in a moment of pure demure.

"Let's go then. We can catch a train on Friday and be back Sunday night. Do you think we could stay with your parents?"

Gosh, what was Elsa getting herself into? She didn't know to be honest, and at the moment, she didn't care either. This was her chance to show to herself how far she had come. That she could be the person she wanted to be, and a good girlfriend to Anna. A worthy girlfriend. She was tired of being scared of life, and tired of letting her past and fears control her. She was just so done with everything and everyone who continuously screwed up her life – including herself. Because let's not forget that sometimes we are our own worst enemies.

This was a lot to take in for Anna. First, Elsa agrees to come with her to Arendelle (something she thought was never even up for discussion) and now Elsa willingly suggested that they stayed at her parents? Anna knew this wasn't to save money – Elsa couldn't care less about money, she had enough to spend it on anything she wanted.

"O-of course… are you sure you really want to do that though? I don't mind staying at a motel," the redhead tried, making sure Elsa knew that there was no pressure from her side to stay at her childhood home.

Elsa merely smiled, kissing Anna lightly on the forehead.

"I have to make up for my last meeting with them somehow."

* * *

It was raining outside. The drops were running horizontally along the window by the sheer speed of the train. Heavy grey clouds covered the afternoon sky, and Elsa and Anna were happy and warm inside the protective walls of the train. Their luggage was neatly placed on the shelf under the ceiling. The rain turned into a heavy drizzle, making fat drops of water stopped drumming on the window. The floor was carpeted, made out of a fuzzy brown material.

Elsa's nose was buried in a book while Anna's head rested in her lap. They had reserved their own private compartments for the ride, Arendelle being a six-hour trip up north. Anna had stolen one of Elsa's hands, playing with her long pale fingers, massaging them one by one on her tummy. She kissed each fingertip, from thumb to pinky. Finally, she began to draw patterns in her palm. Elsa felt the redhead's finger trace a sun over her skin, then a heart. However, Elsa needed her hand to turn the page, and she regretfully pulled out of Anna's gasp. The redhead sighed heavily, turning restlessly onto her side, head still in Elsa's lap.

"I'm bored," she whined, now tracing patterns on Elsa's knee.

The blonde never tore her eyes from her book. She turned another page before answering.

"I know you're bored. You told me that about five minutes ago."

The room was quiet for a little while, only the sound of Anna's heavy sighs sounded through the small space. The younger girl began to watch the drops running along the window. She pretended it was a race, betting on which drop would reach the side of the window first. Yet, it was still not enough to keep the redhead entertained. A loud groan made Elsa lose focus and her eyes kept rereading the same sentence a few times. Elsa felt the tediousness radiate from the girl in her lap.

"Elsa," the girl groaned, tearing the blonde from her book yet again.

"Yes, my dear Anna?" she replied, letting go of her book with one hand to run her fingers through her girlfriend's hair.

"Entertain me," she ordered.

Elsa sighed loudly, brushing her thumb gently over Anna's forehead.

"I'm reading."

"You're being boring."

Another sigh escaped the blonde's throat. She leaned her head back until it hit the cushion. The book in her hand rested on Anna's stomach, her thumb marking which page she'd gotten to.

"I'm relaxing, getting some reading done. What do you want from me?"

"I don't know, at least make out with me or something. Or give me a foot rub. Or read to me," Anna shrugged lightly, hugging herself closer to Elsa's legs. The blonde brought her book back in front of her face and started reading again.

"We're on a train, I'm not making out with you," the older girl reasoned.

"Why? We're here alone. Live a little," the redhead moaned.

That was it. Anna got to her feet. This train ride was too boring and she refused to spend another four hours sleeping in Elsa's lap. She walked to the window and started tracing her finger over the glass. The cold from the outside meeting the warmth from in the inside made the glass foggy and Anna drew two stick figures on the window. One was supposed to represent Elsa, seeing it had a long braid hanging from the back of its head. The other stick figure was Anna, easily known by her two signature braids. The stick figures were kissing and Elsa took a brief seconds to roll her eyes before returning to her book.

"Just let me read my book; I'll give you a foot rub later."

The blonde put her feet up on the seat across from her. She turned another page. Anna innocently took a step forward, her hands behind her back as she balanced on her heels. She watched how Elsa's eyes darted over the page. Rapidly, Anna snatched the book from her grip. Now Elsa's fingers were grasping thin air, and Anna threw the book onto the seat across from the blonde, out of her reach.

"You're being childish," Elsa accused.

"You're being boring! Tell me, Elsa, when was the last time you did something just a little crazy?" her girlfriend sassed.

A moment passed where the older girl pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and pointer finger. Her eyes were closed and she drew a deep breath through her nose. Finally, Elsa surrendered and leaned back in her seat, throwing her hands up in defeat.

"Fine. What do you suggest?"

A devilish smirk spread across Anna's lips. Elsa wasn't easy to persuade, but Anna couldn't help but love making her squirm. The younger girl took a few short strides around the small room. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and when she finally stopped walking, her hip popped out as she leaned all of her weight on her left leg.

"I don't know! Be creative! Like… we could have sex in the bathroom."

"We're not having sex in the bathroom," Elsa quickly said as a fervent blush crept upon her cheeks.

"Why not!" her girlfriend shot, a slight giggle erupting from her throat as she witnessed Elsa's blushing face.

"Because it's dirty and disgusting in there!"

Now Elsa was on her feet, too, her arms hugging her torso tightly. Anna grinned widely while Elsa's lips were pressed into a fine line.

"Elsa, we had sex in the back of your car by the _forest_. There were dirt and bugs _everywhere_."

The redhead wanted to laugh loudly at Elsa's hypocrisy. When they were teenagers, they made out on top of the _dumpsters_ for crying out loud. Germs and dirt didn't seem to bother her back then, what was suddenly so different now? It wasn't like the world had gotten filthier over the years.

"Nature is different. People are gross, a public bathroom should be evidence enough of that."

Obviously, Elsa wasn't easy to convince, Anna now realized that. But had they been in high school and Anna had offered a quickie in one of the bathroom stalls, she was sure Elsa wouldn't have hesitated for one second. The wild and adventurous Elsa was in there. Somewhere. Maybe Elsa had never exactly been the 'wild and adventurous' type, but you didn't have to be Bear Grills to have bathroom sex on a train.

"Fine. Then go order something from the food lady. In your underwear," she dared the blonde.

"No way."

"Gosh you're boring."

"Stop it. I'm not boring."

"Prove it!" the redhead challenged.

"By doing those things?!"

"Choose one."

They were having a staring contest. They were looking each other dead in the eye, Anna's eyes holding a distinctive glint of mischief. There was a slight tug on the redhead's lips. She was enjoying this immensely. She was so sure she'd won. And Anna loved winning. Elsa stood her ground, her eyes never leaving Anna's. If there was something she enjoyed more than anything in this world, it was to prove people wrong.

"Sex it is," Elsa grabbed Anna's hand forcefully, dragging her out of their compartment and down the hall.

The surprise on the redhead's face was genuine as she was being pulled down the hallway in a rush. She didn't protest though, she'd like to see how far Elsa was willing to take this. They passed an elderly couple, but Elsa continued relentlessly. This was enough to convince Anna that this was probably about to happen. They were going to have sex in the bathroom on a train on their way to visit her parents. The thought was exhilarating. Luckily, there was no line to the bathroom. Before anyone saw them, Elsa ripped open the door and towed Anna with her into the tiny restroom.

"Is this crazy enough for you?" the blonde asked as she pushed her girlfriend up against the wall, her lips crushing Anna's in a bruising kiss.

"Definitely," the redhead moaned as Elsa started kissing her way down her neck.

Soon, tan freckled fingers were buried in pale blonde locks. Their breathes were heavy, chests heaving, and eyes closed. The air was thick already, the smell of arousal quickly leaking into the air. Anna leaned her head back against the wall, allowing Elsa easy access to her sensitive flesh. The blonde suckled on her pulse point, making the redhead's breath hitch and her cheeks flaming red. A shivery moan was caught in the younger girl's throat as Elsa kept assaulting her smooth, delicate skin.

"Mmh, Elsa," she purred, feeling a hot tongue flick over her collarbone.

Two hands reached down to cup Anna's rear and pull her closer. Their bodies were flush up against each other. Once again, their lips met in a steamy kiss, the kind of kiss where tongues meet before lips. There wasn't much room to move around, which consequently led to Elsa bumping her head into an overhead storage cabinet. Both girls laughed, nearly tumbling over as the train made a slight turn to the right. It was ungraceful and uncoordinated, but hot either way. Their clothes wrinkled as they pressed their fronts together again, breast meeting and squeezing against each other. Elsa released a moan of her own, surprised by the sudden strike of boldness that had possessed her as she'd hauled Anna down the hall.

They both felt the growing heat between their legs. Finally, Elsa forced Anna up against the wall once again, her knee pushing its way between the younger girl's legs. A gasp sounded as Anna felt the pressure from Elsa's thigh being pushed against her core. The blonde trailed open-mouthed kisses all the way down her jaw, enjoying the tiny mewls and moans spewing from her girlfriend.

A knock sounded on the door, one they both ignored as they were about to lose themselves in each other. Then another louder knock sounded, this one more forceful and demanding than the first. The sound made both girls stop mid-kiss. Elsa's eyes widened the moment a man's voice sounded from the other side.

"You've been occupying the stall for more than twenty minutes now. Please let some of the other passengers use the restroom," the conductor ordered.

Blood rushed to both women's faces. Elsa was sure the conductor knew what they had been doing – they hadn't exactly been quiet. Both girls looked down to witness they were a mess. Elsa's hair was nearly out of its braid and their clothes were messy and wrinkly. Anna's shirt wasn't even high collar enough for cover the massive hicky on her neck. Embarrassment was evident on both of their faces as they exited the stall. Elsa looked the conductor straight in the eye as she cleared her throat.

"Sorry, er, my, um, sister had something stuck in her eye," she mumbled.

The man just placed a hand in his hip and glared at them. Anna had to cover her mouth from laughter.

Blushing profusely, both women hurried back to their compartment. They couldn't stop laughing as they closed the door.

* * *

**A/N:** Running out of chapters motivates me to write more, ergo early update. Thanks to sedryn for betaing!


	22. Past, Present and Future

**Chapter 22 – Past, Present and Future**

"Oh, honey, we're so happy to see you," Anna's mother gushed and pulled her daughter in for a hug.

It always dawned on Elsa whenever a couple had gotten so close they could speak on each other's behalf that she was hoping someday she would have that with Anna. The blonde admired how Mrs. Albright didn't even have to look at her husband to know that he was happy too. The older woman finally let go of her daughter and Anna shuffled towards her dad to give him a hug.

"Hello, Mrs. Albright," Elsa smiled politely.

"Oh, please! Call me Elizabeth! We're so happy to have you, Elsa," the woman beamed and pulled the blonde closer and wrapped her arms around her.

The house hadn't changed much, if Elsa recalled correctly. Yet, the last time she was here, the Albrights had just moved in. The place hadn't even been furnished yet. All Elsa remembered was helping Mr. Albright carry Anna's bed to her room.

As Anna grabbed her by the hand and led her to her old room, it turned out it was the same bed. Elsa could hardly forget how heavy it had been, made out of solid oak and just large enough to hold two people. The walls of Anna's old room were painted a light green, a few posters of boy bands still hung on the walls. A few teddy bears were scattered over the bed. In the corner was an old stereo, and underneath was Anna's CD collection. Elsa immediately recognized an old Kate Bush album.

This place, Arendelle, woke so many memories in the young woman. She'd almost forgotten about all of the good stuff that had happened in this town. The bad stuff was just so protuberant, selfishly pushing aside all the happy memories the older girl tried to dig up. Suddenly, now that she was here, the memories didn't seem so distant any longer. Being in Anna's bedroom, reminded her of their first kiss, their first almost-date, and the time she'd tapped on the redhead's window asking is she wanted to go for a midnight walk. Even the crack in the window from when the redhead had tried to shut it was still there. She told her parents a bird flew into it, and not that she had snuck out at night to be with the high school senior she was so madly in love with it that it almost hurt. The thought made Elsa smile subtly, her head swimming with memories she thought were long forgotten.

Mrs. Albright peaked her head in, watching both girls with a warm motherly gaze.

"Dinner is ready in thirty minutes. I've left some towels out for you, if you want to freshen up," Elizabeth cooed, padding Elsa's cheek once, and kissing Anna's forehead before she walked out of the room.

The girls put down their suitcases, but none of them felt like unpacking. Anna flopped onto the bed, letting the security and familiarity of her childhood home comfort her. Nostalgically, she grabbed the teddy bear next to her and clutched it to her chest. Tonight was the night she was planning on having the talk with her parents. She'd asked Elsa to be there. Anna wasn't sure if she could do it if she wasn't holding Elsa's hand under the table.

The redhead on the bed noticed her girlfriend frozen on the spot near the window. The window faced against the street, and across the street was… a yellow house. A house Elsa could never forget, even if it was painted a different color. Anna got up, she walked across the room, showing no sign of faltering, until she pressed herself up against Elsa's back. She wrapped her arms around her from behind, leaning her head into Elsa's shoulder blade. The teddy bear was still clutched tightly in her hand, now resting just below Elsa's bellybutton.

Elsa didn't move. If you didn't know any better, you would've thought she wasn't even breathing. Or maybe she was just holding her breath. The blonde was fighting the tears stinging her eyes. She never thought she'd see that house again. It looked alien to her. A white minivan was parked in the driveway. Not a blue Volvo.

Mrs. Albright was right. The yellow looked awful. At least the new residents had had the decency to preserve their rose bushes. Elsa could never forget how much her mother loved those rose bushes. She nursed those roses as if they were the last of their kind. Every time they started blooming for the first time that season, Elsa's mom would have this look on her face. The look of utter joy. There was this spark in her eyes, the kind of spark a person only gets when they do something they love.

"_Remember, Elsa. If you want to tell someone you love them, you give them a rose. If you want to tell someone to fuck off, you give them a cactus,"_ her mother used to say whenever she was gardening and Elsa helped her out.

Those were words to live by, Elsa always thought. She knew her mom hadn't come up with the quote herself, but she'd made it her own. Her mom always made her laugh. For some reason, Elsa was always shocked whenever her mom swore. It was a rare occurrence that only happened when she was either in an argument with her husband, or she told that quote. You were lucky if the woman ever called you a rose. That was her way of saying that you meant something to her. Kind of her way of saying she loved you. She used to call Elsa her rose all the time.

Anna arms tightened around her torso. Elsa ran her thumb over her girlfriend's wrist.

"Is it weird being back?" Anna's tiny voice sounded.

The blonde nodded silently. She looked down and saw the teddy bear in Anna's hand. It made her smile. She remembered winning that teddy bear for Anna at a carnival. She couldn't believe she'd kept it all of these years. Even after Elsa had left. She would've thought the bear rested in a junk yard somewhere by now. Elsa didn't know that that teddy bear was the only thing Anna allowed herself to keep of the things that reminded her of Elsa. It was the teddy bear she hugged close at night when she was scared, or threw across the room when she was angry. It was a love-hate relationship between Anna and the bear. Every time she thought of the day she found out Elsa had left her, she'd walk to the dumpster and held the bear over the opening, as if threatening the bear, waiting for it to utter its last words. But every time, something inside of her couldn't do it. Instead she ended up walking back to the house, feeling like an utter failure, and throwing the bear into her closet until she missed Elsa enough to pull it out again.

"Yeah…," Elsa answered. "It's… _bizarre_."

The blonde took the bear in her hand and felt its worn synthetic fur.

"Are you… doing okay?"

Elsa shrugged, finally turning around to face Anna. The redhead rested her hands on her hips, her thumbs feeling Elsa's hipbones press against her skin. Lovingly, she hooked her fingers in her belt loops and drew her girlfriend closer. Elsa looked down between them, the teddy bear stuck amid their stomachs.

"Yeah…. It's just a house…." the older girl shrugged.

The way Elsa dodged Anna's gaze told the redhead Elsa didn't believe a word she'd just said. Sometimes Elsa was a master liar. Sometimes she was just see-through. In this case, Elsa might as well have written the lie on her forehead. It was that obvious.

"We both know it's not just a house," Anna said, cupping one of Elsa's cheeks.

Her eyes distant, Elsa nodded twice. Anna was right. It wasn't just a house. It was so much more. But what once made that house special, didn't exist anymore. The two things that made that house worth living in weren't available any longer. They weren't things. They were people. And one was resting unconsciously in a hospital bed in New York, while the other was locked behind bars a few miles away.

A comfortable silence fell upon the two girls. Elsa still refused to meet Anna's gaze. Instead, the blonde turned her head just enough so that she could kiss Anna's palm. The tickling trail of her girlfriend's lips made the redhead pull Elsa down to her. Their foreheads met, eyes closed, and they both exhaled tiredly.

"You know…," Elsa mumbled, "I used to envy your house. Whenever I was in my room looking across the street and saw your house… I wished I was the one who lived there. There was just this… homey feeling whenever I looked at it. The only thing that felt homey was my mom's rose garden."

A faint smile appeared on the redhead's lips, but disappeared almost as quickly as it came. If there was one thing Anna remembered very clearly, it was Mrs. Christianson's rose garden. She'd woken up to that rose garden every morning ever since she'd moved in, until the day they moved away. The blood-red roses, so big and beautiful they might as well have been mistaken for red apples from a distance, appeared clearly in Anna's mind.

"I loved your mom's rose garden," the younger girl whispered in return. "I used to watch you two work in the garden whenever it wasn't raining. Your mom just had this magical touch when it came to nature."

The slight huff of air escaping the blonde made Anna smile.

"Yeah… she did."

There was this unspoken… _recognition_ between them. The way they were talking about Elsa's mom as if she was already gone. None of them wanted to say it aloud. But they were both thinking it. And in a way, it was okay. Elsa needed to remember the good stuff, especially about her mom. Because, deep down, Anna knew Elsa couldn't be so blind. There was an obvious internal struggle inside of Elsa, where one side of her was being pulled deep down into the artificial hopes of denial. But Elsa wasn't stupid. Denial or not, Elsa knew that her mom probably wasn't going to wake up. Ever. She didn't need to say it out loud. She didn't even have to acknowledge it. But it didn't change the fact that she'd just spoken about her mother in the past tense, and as if she wasn't here anymore.

Kindly, Anna cupped Elsa's cheeks with both of her hands. The two just stood there. It was nice. But confusing at the same time. There was just such a lovely clash of emotions that continuously hit them.

Anna was happy to be back. She'd missed home. But she dreaded the reason she was here. And she was nervous about how Elsa was dealing with all of this. Anna's feelings collided like hot and cold air, creating a storm of emotions inside of her. Gosh, how was she going to get through the evening? Could she really just allow herself to let Elsa be her buffer, let her be the strong one for once? It felt unfair somehow. This trip probably took its toll on Elsa more than it did on the redhead. Yet, Elsa had assured her that she would be there every step of the way. Just for tonight, Anna trusted Elsa to be the one that was in control. The redhead was convinced that the trust wasn't misplaced. Elsa had made a promise. And ever since the two had been reunited, Elsa hadn't broken another promise. For tonight, Anna let Elsa take the steering.

"Dinner's ready!" Elizabeth called from the living room.

The frown on Anna's face made Elsa flinch. The blonde pulled her in for a tight hug before they started towards the dining room. Their hands remained intertwined even as they took their seats across from Mr. Albright. Elizabeth was pouring wine into their glasses. Politely, Elsa put her palm over her glass, gently smiling at the older woman before the red liquid filled the glass. The older woman merely smiled and didn't think much about it.

"This looks great, hun," Mr. Albright announced as he placed his napkin in his lap.

Anna sat very still in her chair. Her face had faltered. Normally, the girl wouldn't have hesitated when it came to complimenting her mother's cooking. Her hand tightened almost painfully around Elsa's.

"Are you alright, dear?" Elizabeth's voice was full of concern.

Elsa glanced towards Anna. Her complexion had nearly adopted a ghostly white color and there were tears in her eyes. They'd decided to wait until after dinner to tell them, but it didn't look like Anna could make it that far.

Mrs. Albright dropped the salad forks, her eyes wide with surprise and worry.

"What's going on, Anna?" Mr. Albright asked, the man almost on his way out of his seat to go comfort his daughter.

Elizabeth's eyes wandered, suddenly coming to rest on Elsa. At first, the blonde was scared she might receive an accusing expression. Instead, there was begging in the older lady's eyes. Elsa clenched her jaw, feeling how suffocating the silence became. They wanted to know what was going on, and the blonde was tempted to blurt it out by the lack of Anna's words. Yet, she waited just a few more seconds before squeezing her girlfriend's hand. The gesture appeared to wake Anna up, the girl stubbornly blinking the tears out of her eyes.

At this point, Mr. and Mrs. Albright were frightened senseless. They had no honest chance to comprehend what was bothering their daughter.

"I…I…," the words refused to leave Anna's mouth. The first tear trailed down her cheek. "I have to tell you guys something," she croaked.

Both Elizabeth and her husband sat very still and listened as Anna told them about her infertility. Tears welled in both of their eyes, Mr. Albright being the only one of them that let a drop escape and trail down his cheek. They weren't tears of anger or desolation. The only reason the two were crying was the sight of their daughter being pulled through such misery. Elizabeth was disappointed that she'd never get a grandchild from Anna, but in reality, it truly didn't matter to her whether her grandchildren were linked genetically to her or not. As long as Anna was happy, Elizabeth was happy. And seeing how Elsa had held her daughter's hand, being there for her every step of the way, made the older woman positive that Anna had found the right person to share her happiness with.

When Anna told them about the baby she'd lost, her parents got out of their seats to enclose her in an embrace. For the first time that evening, Anna let go of Elsa's hand. There was a distinct smile of compassion and pride on the blonde's lips. As Anna sobbed into her dad's shoulder, Elizabeth extended her arm to include Elsa in the hug. She happily accepted the invitation, letting herself be embraced by Anna's family. That was the first time in forever she felt like she'd had a family other than Astrid. Her mother wasn't there to hug her anymore, but this embrace felt almost as nice and familiar. It could never truly replace what she had lost, but this was special enough to fill some of the emptiness inside of her.

Anna hadn't meant to ruin the dinner. She knew how much work her mom had put into the food, but she was just so exhausted. She was all talked out, emotionally exhausted to the extend where she was just about to fall down from her chair.

"Why don't you two curl up on the couch and I'll bring you a plate of food?" Elizabeth suggested, caressing Elsa's cheek motherly.

The blonde nodded, grabbing Anna by the waist and leading her to the living room. As soon as they dropped down on the couch, the redhead didn't hesitate in curling her legs up beneath herself and snuggling closer to Elsa. The blonde found a blanket that she wrapped around her, and Anna just rested her head by the crook of her neck and Elsa rubbed her back. Mr. Albright was clearing out the table as he observed the two. The sight brought a proud smile to his lips. He was ready to cry all over again just by seeing how adorable the girls looked.

"I love you, Elsa," the redhead mumbled into her neck. The blonde nearly felt the words more on her skin than she heard them. "So much," she added.

As they sat there, both beyond exhausted, Elsa made sure of two things. First, she made sure that Anna ate something. The girl needed the energy, and she wouldn't allow her to go to bed on an empty stomach. Second, Elsa made sure she never let her go. Anna stayed in her protective embrace all night.

* * *

Saturday morning. A new day. Yesterday was over and done with, much to Anna's relief. Nothing could cheer a person up like a hot shower, a good night's sleep, and waking up in your girlfriend's arms.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," the blonde mumbled into Anna's neck, kissing the skin lightly.

The redhead groaned, sleepily pushing Elsa and her tickling kisses away.

"Five more minutes," she muttered.

Elsa quirked an eyebrow. Anna could easily sleep the entire day away if she let her. The pathetic attempt to push Elsa away made the blonde smirk. Gently, the older girl started nipping on Anna's earlobe. A shoulder shot up to cover her ticklish ear, but Anna was no match for Elsa. Wet, open-mouthed kisses trailed all the way down to Anna's collarbone. Elsa's hot tongue traced over the sensitive skin, finally tearing Anna completely out of her slumber. Cautiously, the redhead opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Elsa's mischievous smirk.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" the blonde teased, making Anna swat her across the shoulder.

"You're bad," the redhead huffed, turning onto her side, away from Elsa.

"I could be worse."

Elsa gave her a crooked smile.

"How can you look so perfect whenever you wake up?" the redhead sighed. The world wasn't fair. Elsa looked like an angel the moment she awoke. Anna had to spend hours untangling her messy hair.

"Because I don't toss and turn all night," Elsa laughed.

"Well, if I kick you, you deserve it for waking up so beautiful every morning."

"If we're discussing who's beautiful, I should be kicking you all night, Ms. Albright," the blonde charmed, and Anna blushed.

They stayed in bed a spooned for a while. Their hands were intertwined over Anna's stomach. The blonde sighed into her girlfriend's hair.

"What do you want to do today?" she asked, her thumb stroking over the backside of Anna's hand.

"Let's go into town. I've missed the lake," her girlfriend mumbled.

The smell of bacon made their stomachs growl in unison. Not a minute later there was a knock on the door. Mr. Albright eased the door open slowly. The man stood in a pink apron, oven mitts on his hands and a wooden spoon clutched in his grip.

"Great! You're up! Breakfast is almost ready." The smile on his face was so broad he faced could've cracked in half.

Both girls smiled and made their way to the breakfast table. Anna was her normal chattering self today. The younger girl hadn't been herself all week, but since yesterday, she was starting to look more and more like the Anna people knew and loved. The blonde eyed her girlfriend over her cup of coffee, smiling as she was making conversation with her dad. They were talking about a new ice cream parlor in town. The ice cream season was over, but they were still open for business and sold hot glögg and apple cider. Anna decided that that was their mission today – along with perhaps purchasing a sandwich down at the bakery to eat in the park.

They borrowed the Albright's car to drive into town. Anna was driving, and Elsa was navigating. Despite how many years had passed since her last visit, Elsa still clearly remembered where everything was clearly. Not much had changed over the past years, perhaps a few new roads and some renovated shops, but other than that, everything looked the same. Even the old cinema was still there. The façade could use a paint job, and the purple neon sign could use some new light bulbs, but Elsa still found the tiny theatre so charming. She'd taken Anna to watch a movie once. Just once, and it wasn't a success. Anna thought the movie was boring, so they left halfway through. That was when Elsa realized that perhaps their dates (or whatever she convinced herself their meetings were called back then) from now on should involve some sort of activity, since Anna wasn't a big fan of sitting still.

A few hours passed as they rediscovered their hometown. Despite the fact that Anna hadn't moved to Arendelle before she was fourteen, she still considered this place her hometown. She wasn't born here, like Elsa, but this was her home, and no one could make her think otherwise.

Two cups of apple cider and a sandwich later, the girls were strolling their way through down, going nowhere in particular. The sky was looking grey, but that didn't spoil the mood. Elsa had thought that being back in Arendelle would bring up all the bad things, but instead, she was enjoying herself immensely. She was reliving the good part of her youth, the part with Anna. Some of the locals even recognized them. Mr. Oaken, the owner of the bakery, had given them sandwiches free of charge since Elsa's family used to be such loyal customers.

As they reached the outskirts of town, the buildings thinning out, they noticed the massive yellow bulldozers digging up the ground further ahead. Normally, they wouldn't have paid it any mind, but the bricks the large machines were standing on weren't just any bricks. It was the leftovers of their old school.

"Is that…?" Anna breathed, not believing her own eyes.

It wasn't until Elsa saw them tear down another wall, one that used to belong to their old English Lit class, that she remembered that Mrs. Albright had mentioned they were tearing down their old high school. As a wrecking ball hit another wall, Anna's grip tightened around Elsa's hand. They stood in shock, just looking as a couple of strangers were tearing down their past. So many memories vanished for every brick that hit the ground.

Yet, two very different things were going inside of each girl. Anna felt a little heart broken. Her stomach dropped the moment she realized what was happening. A few tears fell down her cheeks in spite of her wishes, in memory of her adolescent life. The building, and everything inside of it, had changed her. Now it was merely a pile of dirt and dust. It was a little sad seeing such an important part of her life being doomed to ruins like that. The courtyard was where she had her first kiss with Elsa, the gym was where she attended her first prom, and in some of those classrooms she'd made some amazing friends. She'd done a lot of growing up in high school. And now, it didn't exist anymore.

Everything was entirely different inside of Elsa, however. It was crazy actually. Something inside of her just felt so… relieved. Your past can't be erased, Elsa knew that. And yet, it almost felt like some of the bad things that build up her past were torn down along with that building. Sure, this was the place she'd first kissed Anna. Where she'd pulled some genius pranks, and made some alright friends. But this was also the place she'd pulled on her mask. Where she'd walked through life, pretending like everything was okay. Elsa hadn't done much growing up those years, not like Anna. But she'd done a hell of a lot of hiding and suffering. This was also the hallways she'd ignored Anna, where she'd skipped class, and smoked and cried in the bathrooms. Finally, she felt like that chapter was completely over. Seeing that building being torn to shreds, Elsa felt some closure. Arendelle felt less and less intimidating the longer she spent time there. She thought she'd be sad to see the building go. Good memories also happened inside the walls of the school.

A few more moment in silence passed. Then Elsa turned towards Anna.

"There's something I need to do," she said, her voice full of sudden realization and her eyes gleaming with a glint of courage.

* * *

**A/N:** Big thanks to sedryn for betaing :)


	23. Tying Up Loose Ends

**Chapter 23 – Tying Up Loose Ends**

"Elsa, what's going on?" the redhead dared to ask, honestly a little scared of how Elsa was behaving.

They were in the car, Anna behind the wheel. The rain was coming down slowly, a light drizzle had begun as they entered the car. The younger girl turned on the wipers to get a clearer view of the road. Elsa was looking out the window, apparently searching through her memories, mapping out the city inside of her head.

"Make a turn here, and then turn right at the intersection," she directed.

Anna did as instructed, but not without question.

"Where're we going? Could you please tell me what's going on?" the redhead begged. "You're acting weird, is this about our old school?"

An overwhelming rush of thoughts occupied Elsa's mind and she barely had enough room in her head to process Anna's questions. In a way, this was about their old school. And in another way, it wasn't at all. Elsa felt this… force. A huge force inside of her that scared her to bits, but at the same time, pulled her towards all of the fears she'd spent so long hiding from. There was a yearning, a suppressed need to provide herself with long a needed closure. It was time to face the demons haunting her, the demons that followed her everywhere she went. Until they were all vanquished, Elsa couldn't see herself move forward. At least not in the way she wanted to. She wanted to be free. Free to think of her childhood home without sending her into a blood-lust for toxic substances to numb her body. Free to look at Anna without feeling guilty of the person she used to be.

She was done dwelling on the past, done forcing herself through suffering, and done letting people ruin the present for her. Elsa was just so done.

"I just… I realized something. And there's something I need to take care of," Elsa answered without much elaboration. She skillfully avoided answering Anna's question in regard to their destination. She feared the redhead might try to talk her out of it if she knew where they were going. It was better to leave that out for now, and let Anna discover for herself Elsa's intentions when they reached the place.

The car was silent apart from the rain drumming on the windshield. The clouds looked angry as they were hovering above the city in all their might and glory. The light drizzle had turned into fat drops of heavy downpour.

Anna was worried, to say the least. Elsa was acting unlike herself. There was this look in the blonde's eyes that Anna couldn't seem to shake. There was a sudden urgency to the way Elsa spoke. The redhead feared Elsa might be about to do something stupid. Yet, there was also something in Elsa's eyes that reassured Anna that something was happening inside of her… something good. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but Elsa had this stern look of courage on her face, her features so determined it was almost scary. For the first time since they arrived in Arendelle, Elsa didn't look as if the world was about to crush her. Instead, it looked as if Elsa was about to crush the world. It looked like Bambi had finally found her footing, and was now skating over the ice with ease.

"Here. Just stop here," the blonde ordered, quickly unbuckling herself.

Anna pulled over, but the moment she put the car in park, she grabbed Elsa's arm. They were parked in front of the Arendelle Prison. Anna knew what Elsa was doing now. And she wasn't sure how she felt about it. Deep within her, she was praying that Elsa wouldn't go in there. It would be hard for her to protect her from whatever outcome that could happen in there.

The blonde met her gaze, seeing how Anna's eyebrows were knitted together with such concern.

"Elsa, you're scaring me. Please just tell me what you're doing."

"I'm going to see my dad," the older girl responded, her hand already resting on the handle on the door.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" the younger girl posed, her fingers instinctively tightening around Elsa's upper arm.

"I need to do this, Anna. I'm done being scared, and I'm done living like this. I need to tie up some loose ends, and I'm starting at Arendelle prison."

It was clear that there was no way Anna could talk her out of this. The redhead had almost forgotten how stubborn Elsa could be. Sure, nothing really came close to how stubborn Anna really was, but Elsa was a close contender. The younger girl realized her defeat, and slowly loosened the grasp she held on Elsa's arm.

"At least let me go with you," she pleaded, looking at her girlfriend with beseeching eyes.

The older girl simply shook her head dismissively.

"No, I need to do this on my own."

There was no point in hiding her disappointment. Anna wasn't sure how this was going to end, and she was terrified the blonde was throwing herself blindly into something she wasn't remotely ready for. Yet, Elsa was a grown woman. She knew what she was doing. She might not always know what was best for her, but Anna was sure that Elsa was very aware of the consequences if things didn't turn out the way she was expecting them to. And how could Anna deny her girlfriend the opportunity to at least _try_? Despite her skepticism, she had to let Elsa go. There was no way their relationship could last if they held each other back. Elsa would blame Anna for missing this opportunity, and blame could easily kill a relationship – even one that was as strong as theirs.

"I'll just wait here. Please, Els. Please let me be here for you when you're done there."

The hesitation on Elsa's face wasn't difficult to mistake. But after a few seconds, the older girl nodded reassuringly.

"Okay. But it might take a while. Or… maybe it won't. I don't know."

"Take as long as you need. I'll stay in the car and wait for you," Anna soothed, grabbing hold of Elsa's neck and pulled her in for a kiss.

They pulled apart a few seconds later, and Elsa stepped outside and into the rain. She closed the door gently, leaving Anna inside the warm vehicle. The blonde tucked the collar of her jacket closer to her as she walked through the rain towards the huge double doors across the parking lot. The rain was coming down hard, leaving her hair wet and heavy on her head. She made it inside the building before the water soaked through her jacket.

The sight in front of her was a depressing one. The floors looked almost clinical and the walls were a dull grey, naked and bare with the exception of a few bulleting boards with some rules and general information plastered up on there in a cliché font. All the chairs were made of plastic, their color fading from excessive use. The lights shining above her was bluer than anything else, making everyone standing beneath it look sickly pale. The people working there didn't look much more alive than the grey walls. The staff barely acknowledged her presence, everyone from the cleaning lady to the guard by the entrance just kept doing what they were doing, obviously lost in their own small worlds that was far far away from the prison.

Elsa appeared to be the only person who didn't belong there, and it struck her that she was the sole visitor on this gloomy day. With a deep breath, Elsa walked towards the man sitting behind the counter. A thick wall of glass separated them. He looked tiredly at her, clicking his pen in a vexatious way, and sighed uncontrollably.

His hair was as white as snow, eyes grey like a foggy morning sky and skin nearly as pale as Elsa's. With his absent eyes, he spared her a glance as she approached the counter. Without even looking at her, he pushed a visitor's sign-up sheet towards her. The man leaned back in his chair, clearly fighting the urge to pop his feet onto his desk.

"Hello, I'm here to see my father, Adgar Christianson" she declared, casually ignoring the visitor's sheet.

After all, this was the first time she stepped foot in Arendelle prison. Elsa was deeply virtuous when it came to prisons. Sure, she'd spent a night in jail, but that was hardly comparable.

"Name?" the man muttered.

"Elsa Christianson."

"I.D.?"

Elsa handed him her driver's license. He barely looked at it before flipping it onto the counter, sliding it under the glass and back to Elsa. He typed something into the computer, his chin resting in the palm of his hand.

"You're not on the list," he disclosed, clicking the mouse a few times.

Elsa leaned forward, her elbows resting on the edge of the counter

"Then can't you put me on the list? I've already proved that I'm his daughter. I just need to see him, just this once."

The man stared at her with his grey eyes, tilting his head just the slightest to the left in a bored way.

"That's not how this works, you need to call in advance," he drawled.

"I know, but can't you make an exception?" Elsa begged, urging him to do something other than sit there and look like he was the most miserable person on this planet.

"Sorry, miss. There's nothing I can do," was all he said before he went back to a game of solitaire on his computer.

Elsa was about to lose all the confidence that she had just build up. This couldn't be it. She wouldn't go down without a fight. She took a step back to collect herself, fidgetingly running her hands through her hair. That's when she noticed the guard's name tag. Her jaw dropped, now hanging slack as she realized who was sitting behind the bulletproof glass.

"Hey, you're Marshall, right? Marshall Snow?"

The man looked befuddled, seeing it was only his first name mentioned on his tag. The frown on his face was unmistakable, he clearly did not recognize Elsa. However, her words were enough to make him curious, and he shifted in his seat to face the woman in front of him.

"Do I know you?"

Luckily, the expression on his face was nothing more than surprise. In fact, Elsa seemed to have just made the man's day a little more interesting. The woman smiled gently at him, using her natural elegance to charm him.

"It's me Elsa. High school. Senior year. You took the blame for me when we threw water balloons off of the roof, remember?"

A look of recognition scrawled upon his face, his eyebrows shooting upwards and mouth shaped distinctively like an 'o'.

"Elsa! Of course! Gosh, I haven't seen you in forever. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you," he apologized, his grey eyes lighting up for the first time.

Elsa smiled charmingly as she leaned onto the counter again. With her big blue eyes and her most innocent girlish expression, she tried to persuade him.

"Listen, Marshall. Do you think you could just do me this small favor? I really need to see my dad. Just this once. I'd be so grateful."

The man thought long and hard for a few seconds. It was easy to see that it wasn't by his good will he was considering breaking the rules. And yet, Marshall suddenly adapted this mischievous expression on his face. Elsa couldn't help but smile too, she remembered that same expression appearing on his face whenever they used to pull off pranks in high school.

"Old habits die hard," he grinned. Marshall turned towards the computer again, typing in a few things. "You're on the list, here's your visitor's pass, just show that to the guard over there. Enjoy your visit, Ms. Christianson," he said and winked at her.

Elsa mouthed a grateful 'thank you' to him as she accepted the pass. Marshall smirked in return, definitely enjoying the rush of adrenaline that kicked in as he bended the rules. The blonde man grabbed the phone to inform whoever was on the other end that Mr. Christianson had a visitor. He leaned back in his chair with his arm behind his head as he watched Elsa go.

The heels of her shoes clacked against the floor as she shuffled towards the guard. Gingerly, she showed him the pass and he opened the door for her. She'd left her purse in the car with Anna, so Elsa only had to go through a quick pat down.

"Down the hall to the left, miss," he instructed.

Elsa nodded as a thank you and entered the dull hall. As she made a left a room unfolded itself before her. It was just like being in a movie, Elsa thought. Along the end wall were windows, dividing the room in two. Along the wall each window was separated by plastic wall, allowing some (but not much) privacy. On both sides of each window hung a phone.

A guard asked her for her name, and showed her over to booth number six. Elsa waited nervously. She was hoping her dad would show, before she had time to convince herself that this was a bad idea. A heavy exhale calmed her down. She looked at the window and vaguely saw her own reflection. With a stern look, Elsa locked eyes with herself.

_You can do this,_ she thought. _It's been a long time coming._

Through the window, Elsa saw a door opening. Out walked a guard, a man in tow. The man was wearing a grey jumpsuit and his wrists were cuffed. A lump got stuck in Elsa's throat, tears already stinging her eyes. The guard put a hand on the inmate's shoulder and led him towards the chair in front of Elsa.

Carefully, the man dropped down into the chair, warily lowering himself. The act made him look fragile – as if he was made of porcelain and ready to break by the slightest imprudent movement. His posture was sloppy, with shoulders slouched forward rounding his back. The bags under his eyes and his hollow cheeks made him look like a skeleton. The thinning grey hair on his head could've been blown right off by a gust of wind. The paleness of his skin didn't look healthy – not in the way Elsa's did. His skin had adapted a more grayish nuance.

He looked awful.

It made Elsa tear up. For a moment, the two of them just looked at each other. None of them picked up the phone. They weren't ready yet. They needed another moment to observe each other. They were trying to find the person inside of the other they used to know. But those people were long gone, and there was nothing to find. Their efforts were wasted, and it didn't take them long to realize. And yet, a smile appeared on the Elsa's lips, and she got a faint smile in return from the man across from her.

Elsa was the first to pick up the phone. Her dad was quick to follow. Both pressed the receiver against their ear, but no one said anything. Just knowing they could hear each other was enough for now. Believe it or not, but Elsa could hear her dad's smile. She heard the slight parting of his lips, and the way his cheek moved against the phone making that muffled sound. But it wasn't the poisonous smile this time. Not like the time at the hospital. At that time, she couldn't recognize him at all. That wasn't her dad being led away by the cops, that person was someone entirely different. And even though the man in front of her looked like a much skinnier, sadder, version of her dad, there was something in his eyes she was able to recognize. It was nice to know he was in there somewhere.

"Hi, Dad," she whispered, the first tear travelling down her cheek.

His smiled widened, and he tilted his head kindly. The winkles by his eyes grew deep, and the dimples on his cheeks appeared.

"Hey, princess. I'm happy to see you," he said gently. He was so calm. Nothing like the rasping, obsessed, venomous voice he used at the hospital. He even called her princess. Something he only did when she was little and he read to her at night.

"I'm happy to see you too," she croaked, but she meant it.

She paused to put the phone down for just a brief moment to wipe her eyes. The blonde sniffled once, took a deep breath, and pressed the phone back to her ear. Her dad waited patiently, his eyes warm and his smile still present.

"I came here to tell you something," the girl said, struggling to find her voice.

She looked at him, digging up the last of her confidence. His eyes were red, not from tears, but probably from lack of sleep.

"I… I can't see you again…. Ever." Elsa's voice was firm. She looked him straight in the eye. But her words weren't harsh. There was no blame or accusation hidden behind them. "This is the last time I'm ever going to see you again. And I know you might not understand… but I needed to tell you. You've always been in the back of my mind ever since Mom and I left. I've felt guilty, scared and cowardly. But I'm done feeling those things because… I know you wouldn't want me to feel that way." She paused for a second. Her dad said nothing, albeit, there was a slight tuck on his lips when she mentioned him like that. "I wish things could be different. But not all people change, and I can't expect you to either. So, since I couldn't save you… or Mom… I'm going to save myself. I have a new life, and I think you'd be really happy for me. So… I can't see you again…," she repeated.

Silence occupied the space between them. She'd said it. Despite how clear his mind seemed today, Elsa wasn't sure how much of an effect her words had on him. In a way, she wasn't saying it for his sake. She was mostly doing it for herself. To overcome this obstacle. To look him in the eye, and tell him that he was now no longer a part of her life. And despite how sad that was, she knew it was for the best. They would only cause each other more harm than good. They both knew that.

Her dad sighed once. Then he nodded.

"If that's what you want," he said.

There was a distinct trace of acceptance in his voice.

"It's what I want," the blonde whispered in return, fresh tears starting to push through.

He nodded again, his hand pulled together and formed a fist. He was hurting, that much was clear. And yet, there was never a trace of malice or blame on his features.

"Then I understand."

There was a short moment of silence between them. None of them put the phone down. They just kept looking at each other, Elsa's bottom lips trembling, and her father wearing his persistent smile of bravery. Elsa raised her shaky hand and pressed it against the glass. The glass felt cold and smooth beneath her skin. Her dad mirrored her action, and his hand was now pressed against the other side of the glass. Even though they couldn't feel each other, it was almost like they could. It might have made it worse if they could actually touch each other, because then it would be harder to let go.

"I love you, Dad," Elsa breathed.

The man nodded once, his smile never faltering. His eyes were glossy, but the tears were kept at bay.

"I'm proud of you, Els. You should know that."

The guard tapped him once on the shoulder as their time was up. Elsa's hand never moved from the glass, even when her dad's wasn't meeting hers on the other side anymore. Before he was led out the same way he came in, he looked over his shoulder, sending Elsa one last crooked smile. The moment the door shut, Elsa's hand dropped to her lap where tears were soaking into the fabric of her jeans.

There was no one in the room beside her and a guard, so she gave herself permission to sob for just a few minutes. It's always hard shutting a door. But the good thing is that you get to open a new one.

Elsa left the room without looking back. Knowing she would never set foot there again made her feel weird inside. She waved at Marshall before she exited and stepped out into the rain. She could see Anna looking out the windshield from across the lot.

The moment she felt the first couple of raindrops soak into her clothes she felt lighter. Elsa had almost forgotten how to breathe. But now? It felt like she had taken her first real breath of air in years. Gosh, the air felt so fresh and it easily made it all the way down to her lungs.

Perhaps this hadn't been a panacea. But this. This had at least functioned as some sort of remedy for Elsa.

As she spread her arms wide, welcoming the rain into her embrace, Elsa felt free. Tears mixed with the droplet landing on her cheeks, and her face was split into a wide grin.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to sedryn for betaing this chapter :)


	24. Home

**Chapter 24 – Home**

The candle was lit. The bacon was frying, sizzling loudly on the pan, erupting small bursts of fat onto the kitchen counter. A single rose was planted neatly in a tiny vase on the tray. Elsa nearly burned the toast, but quickly saved the bread from the toaster. She buttered the crunchy loaf before cutting it in half and loading it onto the plate. The bacon was crispy enough to join the buttered toast on the plate.

The breakfast tray looked beautiful, if Elsa had to say so herself. She was satisfied with her cooking skills. Perhaps the presentation wasn't perfect, the toast being slightly bit burned and the rose had dropped a petal, but Anna would be ecstatic either way. Saturday morning and breakfast in bed, that was one way to win the redhead's heart.

Next to the plate of food was a tiny blue velvet box. The box was about the size of a plum. She took a deep breath before placing the box in her palm. Carefully, she creaked it open and admired the shiny metal inside of it. After few seconds, she snapped it shut, afraid she might start getting cold feet the longer her gaze lingered on it.

Elsa fought to shake off the feeling of insecurity, but still ended up running her hands through her hair in a frantic attempt to calm herself.

_It's not too soon, _she told herself_. It's your six-month anniversary. It's time. I want this._

And yet, the anxiety loomed above her head like an evil cloud raining heavily and drowning her idea in the suffocating downpour.

_What if she says no?_ She asked herself again and again. The heels of her palms rested against the counter, her nails tapping against the surface frigidly. The thought scared her.

_Or what if she says yes?_ That thought was even more daunting. That thought was perhaps even scarier than if Anna let her down.

Elsa was tapping her foot lightly, sighing heavily as she kept imagining every possibly scenario. But the food was getting cold, and the blonde couldn't afford to wait any longer. She pushed back her shoulders, puffed up her chest, and raised her chin up high. Then she grabbed the tray off of the counter and shuffled towards the bedroom.

Elsa pushed open the bedroom door with her shoulder, backing into the dimly lit room carefully balancing the tray in her hands. The sun was desperately trying fight through the blinds, only a few rays managed to shine through some of the cracks. The sunrays lit up a tiny wall of dust particles dancing in the air. The air was thick from sleep and heat, all trapped inside the spacey bedroom.

The room was quiet apart from the slow breathing coming from the bed. Elsa's side of the bed was neatly made and probably cold by now. She had been up for hours already. The women didn't exactly share the same sleep routine. Anna chose to sleep in at every chance she got. Mornings were her enemy, whereas Elsa enjoyed the peace and quiet of being a morning person, appreciating the silence that followed when everyone else was asleep. There was just something harmonious about early mornings, Elsa thought.

A crooked smile appeared on her lips as she witnessed her girlfriend spread across the bed. The rise and fall of her ribcage was mesmerizing, and Elsa had to just stand there and watch Anna sleep peacefully for a brief moment.

Anna was on her stomach, head resting on one of the pink pillows they'd purchased from IKEA a while ago. It was more than a while ago, Elsa began to think. It seemed like a hundred years ago. She remembered Anna crying in the car, telling her about her infertility. Elsa had been the first to know. The weekend spent in Arendelle with Anna's parents was a few months ago (but they'd returned yet again a month later to celebrate Christmas with Anna's family), and Elsa could easily feel a difference between then and now regarding Anna's behaviour. The redhead felt lighter, somehow.

Getting the burden off of her chest had done wonders for her. Only a week after their return, Anna had sat Merida and Marie down and told them, too. There'd been a lot of crying, a lot of comforting and a lot of ice cream, as Elsa recalled it. The girls had agreed to watch sappy romance movies all night – much to Elsa's displeasure. After _Titanic _and _Dirty Dancing_, both Elsa and Merida couldn't take any more. The two of them disappeared into Merida's room to play PlayStation instead. It wasn't Elsa's favourite activity, but she would take shooting a few assassins over romantic movies any day. Romantic movies were just so far from reality, that Elsa couldn't help to feel bothered by the lack of relatable events. Her and Anna's love story wasn't perfect, but that was what made it special. These movies forgot to portray the massive set-backs a relationship goes through, the complete reformation a person can go through to adjust to love. Elsa missed those things in movies nowadays. She felt no connection to Baby and Johnny's romance or Rose and Jack's unconditional love.

But either way, Anna and Elsa's romance had evolved beautifully. They'd scraped up the residues of their high school romance, and tossed it aside. Now they were in a committed, mature, and trust-filled relationship. It had taken months. Months of inordinately hard work. But that was what it took to knit such a tight bond between two people.

So when Elsa woke up on their six-month anniversary, she felt ready for this next step. With butterflies in her stomach, and the vaguely evaporating cloud of anxiety hovering above her head, she approached her sleeping lover. Carefully, she placed the tray onto the bedside table without making a sound. Gently, she crouched down onto her knees and kissed Anna on the nose.

"Wake up, beautiful," she whispered.

Anna responded by turning around, groaning grumpily.

That wasn't the reaction Elsa was hoping for, especially not since the aroma of bacon was starting to fill the room. The blonde quirked an eyebrow. Normally, she wouldn't resort to such childish methods, but she didn't feel like she had a choice. In one smooth step, Elsa swung her leg over Anna's body, straddling the younger woman over the comforter. Elsa was sitting with a leg on each side of Anna's hips, bouncing lightly.

"Wake up, sleepyhead."

The blonde leaned forward and tickled her girlfriend's neck with her lips. Anna couldn't fight the giggles that started bubbling in her chest as Elsa kept placing kisses over the sensitive skin at the nape of her neck.

"Okay, I'm up," the redhead groaned, leaving Elsa hovering over her.

Their eyes connected briefly as Elsa's lips graced Anna's.

"Happy anniversary," the older girl mumbled with a smile.

"You remembered," Anna yawned happily.

"Of course I remembered. Six months. That's… a big deal," she spoke gently, blushing lightly while trapping her bottom lip between her teeth.

Anna lifted her arms over her head to stretch her stiff joins. She noticed Elsa's flustered look and suddenly turned her head towards the breakfast tray on her nightstand. A smile quickly infiltrated her lips, again making Elsa bite her lip sheepishly.

"You're too good to me," Anna grinned, feeling Elsa's weight disappear from her as the blonde jumped off of her to hand her the tray.

It took exactly three seconds for the redhead to notice the blue velvet box. Her heart got stuck in her throat. This was… unexpected.

"Els… what's this?" she asked carefully, trying not to let the shock display too heavily on her features.

"Open it and see for yourself," the blonde dared, trying to regain some of her fleeing confidence.

Tentatively, Anna reached for the box, the bacon and juice in front of her suddenly seeming much less interesting.

With agitation, Anna opened the box, fearing it might be a ring.

It wasn't, to her relief.

It was a key.

A single silver key rested on the pillow inside of the blue velvet box, and Anna's jaw dropped. Before the redhead could say anything, Elsa took one of her hands, looked her straight in the eye, and smiled.

"Anna, would you like to move in with me?"

Baffled, the younger girl sat with a key in her one hand, and Elsa's hands clutched around her other. The question hung in the air, making Elsa's stomach churn for every moment Anna let pass without an answer. The redhead shook her head lightly in disbelief. This certainly was unexpected. Anna had been ready for the next step for a while now, but she honestly thought she would have to drag Elsa screaming by the feet for something like this to happen. Elsa had always been a bit of a commitaphobe, Anna knew that. That was why this came as such a surprise to her. But as soon as she'd gotten over the immediate shock, Anna felt an unrelenting joy burst inside of her chest.

"Of course! Elsa, I would love to!" she exclaimed and threw her arms around her girlfriend in a crushing hug, juice nearly sloshing over the sides of the glass.

Their lips met in a long kiss, sealing the decision. Elsa was overwhelmed with emotions. There was a lingering feeling that had settled in her stomach, a feeling of being trapped. But that feeling was easily overruled by the love she received from her girlfriend. The feeling became easier and easier to ignore, despite the fact that it might always be present. She was willing to fight this feeling, though. Because she knew this was right. She'd given this a lot of thought. _A lot_. Her bin was replete with uncountable crumbled up pros and cons lists Elsa had written over the past month. And the pros always outweighed the cons. Always.

"Oh gosh, what am I going to tell Merida and Marie?" Anna worried as they pulled apart, her palms pressed against her cheeks like Edvard Munch's _The Scream._

The redhead was excited to move in with Elsa, but she couldn't deny she felt a little sad leaving her two best friends.

"I'm sure they'll understand," Elsa smiled, pecking Anna's cheek. "You want to go try it out?" the blonde then asked, grabbing the key from the box and clenching her fingers around it. Anna nodded vigorously, her bangs jumping wildly with her nods.

Anna snatched a strip of bacon as Elsa led her by the hand out of the bedroom and towards the front door. Elsa rarely got this excited over something, so the eagerness in her gestures made Anna quirk and eyebrow. The blonde was acting awfully strange, but at the same time, her excitement was highly appreciated and definitely adored.

Elsa handed her the key the moment they stepped outside the door. Both women were still in their sleeping wear, so Elsa begged that none of the neighbours would walk by. The blonde wasn't exactly the jealous type, but she was quite picky about who got to see Anna in hot pants.

The redhead's face dropped the moment she inserted the key on the keyhole and found that it didn't fit.

"Els, it doesn't fit," Anna said disappointedly.

Anna's disconcerted demeanour made a wicked grin spread on Elsa's face.

"That's because it's not for this apartment,"

"… then which apartment is it for?" the younger girl quirked an eyebrow.

"Our new apartment."

For the second time this morning Anna's jaw dropped.

"You bought an entirely new apartment?" she questioned, not entirely sure how to feel about Elsa spending that kind of money. But Elsa was smart, Anna knew. She wouldn't spend money she didn't have. But at the same time, Anna knew how much Elsa enjoyed spoiling her.

"I wanted us to feel like the place was equally ours. I've been thinking about moving for a while. This place is too… big."

Anna was overwhelmed by the genuineness manifested in Elsa's voice. The glint in her blue eyes told her that Elsa really wanted this. That she wasn't afraid, and that she hadn't regretted asking. That was enough to calm her, and convince her that this… this was actually pretty wonderful. An entirely new place they could call theirs. One where the bed wasn't Elsa's, and the dresser wasn't Anna's, but _theirs._

A home.

A real home.

Something that Elsa hadn't had in such a long time.

The thought made Anna smile. She could feel this was the start of something big. Something so painfully real that it almost scared her. This felt much different than with Jimmy. Sure, Anna had loved him. Loved him a lot. But whenever she looked at him she didn't get that homely feeling, not like when she looked at Elsa. When Anna looked at Elsa, she just thought 'home.' This was where she belonged. With Elsa. She loved Elsa. With flaws and everything.

"I love you," Anna mumbled happily, meeting Elsa's lips in a tender kiss.

For a while, they stood in the hallway in their pyjamas and made out. The faint sound of the elevator echoed through the hall and Elsa quickly pulled away smiling gingerly. The two walked back into the living room, Elsa carefully shutting the door before them.

"So are you going to tell me where this mystery apartment is?" Anna asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Elsa smirked.

"Get dressed, I'll show you. Don't worry, it's close to work. It's got a great view. You'll love it."

Anna snorted, loving to see Elsa radiate with confidence for once. The redhead proceeded to the bedroom to get dressed while she ate her breakfast. Meanwhile Elsa jumped in the shower, feeling greasy from making bacon. The smell of fat and burned bread lingered in her clothes.

Elsa let the water run over her naked body. The cold did her some good – she'd always loved cold showers. Yet, her head was spinning. She was undeniably freaking out. Just a tiny bit. Anna had said yes. She still couldn't believe it. The water helped her calm down.

Moments later both girls were just about dressed. It didn't come as a surprise that despite Elsa being the one showering, she still managed to get ready before Anna.

They rode on Elsa's motorbike to the 'mystery apartment'. Elsa wanted to be the one driving so that the location could remain a surprise. After about fifteen minutes through traffic Elsa pulled over and took off her helmet. Anna did the same and was immediately confused.

"Els, why are we outside my apartment building? Did you forget something in my room?"

"Just wait and see," the blonde smiled furtively.

They took the elevator, Elsa's hand wrapped lovingly around Anna's. Instead of getting off at fifth floor, where Anna normally would get off, they rode the elevator to the twenty-seventh and highest floor instead. They stepped out of the elevator, Elsa pulled Anna along with her. Finally, they stopped outside of a black wooden door with the number '76' screwed onto it just below the spy hole in golden metal letters. The door was sanded; the veins in the wood could easily be traced beneath the thin layer of black paint.

Anna was at the loss of words.

On the door it said "Albright &amp; Christianson" carved into a golden plate of metal in cursive letters. Elsa handed her the key once again, and this time the key fit perfectly. Elsa stood behind as Anna took the first step into their new home. The blonde had been there multiple times already, so this time, she merely stood in the doorway and watched as her girlfriend took it all in.

The apartment was more like a loft. The walls were raw, nearly carrying a vintage look with their aesthetic. A few lamps hung from the ceiling, but other than that, the place was entirely unfurnished. Anna estimated that there had to be at least three meters to the ceiling, allowing a lot more room to breath. The floors were of wood, dark sanded planks cut from the most beautiful tree. The living room and kitchen were connected, a kitchen isle separating the two areas in a smooth transition. The redhead walked around wide-eyed, taking it all in. Her hand ran over the smooth dark granite that made the kitchen worktop.

Suddenly, Elsa appeared behind her.

"Do you like it?" she asked carefully, her arms resting behind her back, standing a few steps behind the redhead to give her enough space to take it all in.

"Elsa… this place is amazing."

The older woman took the awe on Anna's face as a good sign. She gave her the grand tour, showing Anna their bedroom and the bathroom. There were three more rooms, two guest bedrooms (one that could eventually be turned into a nursery if that time came) and another room that would become Anna's study.

The fact that Anna was no more than twenty-two floors from her two best friends just made the entire prospect of moving in with Elsa a dream come true. The two stood in the center of their new living room, arms wrapped around each other, Anna looking up into Elsa's sapphire eyes.

"How were you so sure I was going to say yes?" she giggled.

"I wasn't. But I was hoping," Elsa admitted.

"What would you have done if I'd said no?"

"I would probably have moved anyway. Like I said, my old place is too big. It's easy to feel alone when you got so much space. Plus, all the floors were marble. It gets really cold. And I would get to be closer to you, which is always a plus."

The redhead beamed with joy.

"Look at you being all risky," Anna laughed, caressing Elsa's cheek with her thumb.

"What can I say? I like to get a little crazy once in a while," the older girl replied with a snort.

* * *

Perhaps the limousine was a little too much. At least Elsa thought so. Anna seemed to like it, but Anna had always been the type of person who didn't over think stuff like that and just let her enjoy herself. So Elsa tried to do the same, and just enjoy the anniversary present Sven, Marie and Merida had arranged for them.

They were all in their best attire. Merida and Elsa both decided on the pants-look for tonight's celebration. Merida might even have borrowed one of Elsa's dress shirts. Marie had erroneously attempted to stuff Merida into a dress, like she always did, but in the end decided it wasn't worth the hour-long chase through the living room. Instead, she'd just accepted that not everyone loved dresses (to her utter shock and disapproval) as much as she did. Marie focused on getting herself and Anna ready, while Elsa and Merida did their own thing.

Elsa wore a pair of black cigarette pants, accompanied by a white, long-sleeved, tight shirt with the hem stuffed into the pants. She was wearing a pair of leather brogues to go with it, still feminine and classy and yet practical and comfortable at the same time. Just like Elsa liked it.

Elsa went to knock on Anna's bedroom door. Marie and Anna had been getting ready for the past hour. It took Merida and Elsa exactly thirty minutes to prepare themselves, and they spent the remainder of the time playing PlayStation.

"Anna, the limo is here. Sven is waiting for us downstairs," she informed, knocking an extra time on the wooden door, hoping that would make the girls on the other side hurry up.

"Just give us a minute!" Marie shouted through the door. "You want your girlfriend to look hot tonight, don't you?"

Elsa sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers. Yet, the blonde couldn't help the smile that crept upon her lips.

"My girlfriend is already the most beautiful woman on the planet. I doubt you can make her hotter than she already is."

Elsa heard Anna 'aww' through the door, which made her grin wider.

"Easy points," Marie muttered loud enough for Elsa to hear. "Just go ahead, we'll meet you downstairs!"

Evidently, there was nothing more Elsa could say to convince the girls that they were already late and they needed to hurry. Merida was standing impatiently by the door, rolling her eyes.

"Let's just meet them downstairs so we can keep Sven company," Merida sighed, stomping into the hallway, Elsa following her lead.

The evening air was crisp and the stars were already out. Lights lit up the street, a warm glow from the streetlamps casting long shadows onto the pavement. On the side of the road was a shiny black limousine parked. The rims were gleaming silver, and so were the handles to the car doors. By the car stood Sven. His slick hair was pushed back, beard neatly trimmed and his brown eyes carrying a happy spark. He was looking handsome in his newly pressed dress pants and silk vest. He was certainly going home with someone tonight, the man looked irresistibly dapper.

"Where're the others?" Sven asked confused, after greeting the two girls.

"Upstairs, getting ready," Merida murmured as she impetuously got into the car, too impatient to wait outside in the cold. Sven joined her, and Elsa resolved to lean against the car while she waited. The blonde enjoyed the chill, and wasn't bothered by the few moments alone. Elsa heard the sound of a champagne bottle opening from inside the limo. This night surely was going to be festive.

Fifteen minutes passed, and Elsa was deeply engrossed in her phone. However, the sound of the double doors from Anna's apartment building opening made her look up. Elsa's jaw nearly scratched the pavement as she watched Anna walk out. She was wearing a tight black dress, the hem reaching just above her knees, exposing a pair of smooth, slender, toned legs. The stilettos she was wearing made her calf muscles flex, enthralling Elsa with their perfect anatomy. Anna's hair was down, her red locks falling like a curtain of fire behind her and over her shoulders. Her bangs draped over her forehead, framing her face so wonderfully.

Elsa's heart was beating fast.

"What do you think?" the redhead asked gingerly, doing a little twirl for Elsa so she could get good look.

The back of the dress made a V-shape, leaving most of Anna's back naked. Her freckled skin was bare from shoulder blades to mid-waist. The dark fabric made Anna's teal eyes pop, with help from the subtle eyeliner she'd applied.

"You look…," Elsa wasn't sure what to say. No words seemed grand enough to describe how absolutely enchanting Anna looked. Anna smiled, flattered by Elsa's lack of words. Elsa's silence was the utmost dearest compliment she could have gotten.

"Don't strain yourself, Elsa," Marie teased, padding the blonde gently on the shoulder as she entered the car.

The two were left alone outside, but both knew they were already late and should probably get going soon. Anna closed the distance between them. With her stilettos, Anna was almost the same height as Elsa.

"You look absolutely beautiful tonight," the blonde finally mustered.

Anna snorted.

"You don't look too shabby yourself," the redhead supplied.

Elsa leaned in for a kiss, enjoying that she didn't have to bend down to catch her girlfriend's lips for once.

"I thought we were late?" Anna quirked an eyebrow daringly, gently pushing a hand against Elsa's chest.

"A few more seconds won't hurt," Elsa assured her with a smirk.

Their lips met in a gentle kiss, Elsa being considerate of Anna's make-up. They heard a few guys wolf-whistle from across the street and Merida immediately shit-bashed them with her evil words as she was hanging out of the window. Sven had to pull her away with a mighty force before she let it go. Anna and Elsa got into the car, dropping down on the leather seats. Sven poured both of them a glass of sparkling cider and the five of them clinked their glasses together.

"Where's Astrid?" Marie asked, taking another sip of champagne.

Her dress was made of a million sparkling purple sequins, shining whenever the streetlights hit them just right. The dress was tight like Anna's, but left none of her back bare.

"She's meeting us there, she needed to finish something up at the office," Elsa explained, as she rubbed her thumb over Anna's knee lovingly. Elsa could hardly keep her hands to herself; everything inside Elsa went mental at the sight of Anna. She was turned on in ways she didn't even know were possible. It wasn't just the typical heat that grew between her legs or the spike of lust igniting in her chest. It was the butterflies in her stomach, madly flapping their wings and tickling her insides. It was the blood boiling in her veins and burning under her skin. It was the excessive tingling in her fingertips and her palpitating heart. Her body was so awake. Everything inside of her was working on overdrive, driving Elsa nuts, but the good kind of nuts.

They arrived at the club an hour later. The driver had driven around Central Park a few times making sure the three got their money's worth. Astrid was standing outside the club as they arrived. She was in a heated argument with the doorman.

"Miss, you're not on the list," he insisted. He was tall, much taller than Astrid. The man wore black from head to toe, making his slender figure look even slimmer. His black hair was brushed back with a layer of gel, his chin silky smooth and freshly shaved.

"Bullshit! I've booked a table for seven people tonight. Check again!" Astrid spat. The doorman looked tired, clearly they'd been at it for a while.

"What's the problem?" Elsa asked her distressed friend, her hand never letting go of Anna's, afraid they'd get separated in the massive crowd.

"Apparently I'm not 'on the list'," she growled, using air quotes, before crossing her arms over her chest hostilely.

Before Elsa had time to reply, Sven squeezed his way in between the girls and walked up to the doorman. With a slick smirk, Sven whispered something into the man's ear. The doorman's eyes widened and his cheeks turned scarlet. He cleared his throat once and skimmed the list of names through again.

"Oh! My mistake. Astrid Hofferson, right? This way please," the man spoke and unhooked the velvet rope hindering their entrance.

The six of them shuffled inside, no one uttering a word as they finally was led to their table.

"How the _hell _did you do that?" Astrid grumbled loudly.

A devilish smirk spread across Sven's face as he shrugged nonchalant.

"I slipped him my number. My gaydar is on point tonight."

Merida bubbled with laughter, ungracefully high fiving Sven across the table. Anna found it very amusing as well, but tried to contain herself. Merida and Sven went to the bar to order them all a round of drinks. Anna sat close against Elsa, having a nice conversation with Marie who was sitting on her left.

"Why did you say you booked a table for seven? We're only six," Elsa wondered, looking at Astrid with a questionable gaze.

Astrid smiled secretly, her eyes diverting towards the entrance.

"I guess I thought it was time that you met Anonymous," Astrid mumbled shyly, although a tad of nervousness could easily be detected.

Before Elsa had time to respond, Astrid got up to meet someone at the door. Elsa stared curiously after her, trying to spot the person she was headed towards in the ocean of people. Shortly after, Astrid returned with a tall man tugging by the hand. His hair was dirty blonde and his eyes were brown. Elsa's jaw nearly dropped to the floor for the second time that evening.

The man smiled kindly at her and stretched out his palm.

"Hello, I'm Anonymous," Kristoff laughed.

Elsa took his hand sheepishly, still not entirely sure on how to react to her two best friends dating.

"Alright, I'm confused," Elsa admitted. "Why didn't you tell me you two were dating!?"

Astrid frowned, and Kristoff swiftly snaked an arm around her.

"We weren't sure if things would work out. I thought I'd spare you the weirdness in case we didn't last. But we're actually celebrating our three months anniversary tonight. Sorry for stealing your spotlight."

The embarrassed grin on Astrid's face made the prolonged wait of the reveal of Anonymous worth it. It had been a while since Elsa had seen such a smile, such adoration, on her best friend's face. Of course, she would need to have a little talk with Kristoff at some point, just to deliver the standard protective sister speech.

"Wow, you guys… I'm so happy for you," Elsa beamed, her gaze softening as she saw the look of utter devotion in Kristoff's eyes. "How did this happen?"

Astrid snorted lightly.

"It's a funny story actually. I paid Kristoff an unexpected visit one evening to yell at him for not telling me about you and Hans. Things sort of… just happened."

Astrid rarely blushed. Elsa was reminded of how much of a girl Astrid indeed was – underneath all that tomboy, of course. As the surprise subsided, Elsa truly couldn't be happier for her friends. Only the faint worry of the fear of them breaking up lingered vaguely on her mind, but she forcefully pushed the thought away.

Merida and Sven returned with the drinks (club soda for Elsa and a virgin piña colada for Anna) and the celebration slowly began. The atmosphere exploded with excitement, cheers of celebrations boomed through the club from the night's happy inhabitants. Marie dragged Sven off with her to the dance floor, the woman smirking wickedly at her victim. Kristoff and Astrid were securely stationed at the table while the others followed Sven and Marie towards the mass of people moving to the music. Astrid had never cared much for dancing, and Kristoff hardly felt like making a fool of himself with his post 80's moves his mom had taught him.

Elsa didn't do much dancing. She mostly stood, merely letting Anna dance up against her. Much like Astrid, Elsa purposely avoided dancing. But she couldn't deny Anna the chance now that they were here, and especially not on their anniversary. The music was loud, and the bass could be felt pounding in their chests. Anna pushed her back against Elsa's front and worked her rear. The blonde eagerly snaked her arms around the younger girl's waist. A thin layer of salty sweat settled on their foreheads, the cluster of dancing bodies radiating with warmth and heating up the dance floor.

They were all danced out and needed a refill to charge their batteries. Kristoff went to the bar to fetch the group another round. Elsa settled down next to Astrid once again, Anna this time placing herself across from the two friends to sit and talk to Merida.

Elsa looked out over the masses of people. It all seemed a lot more manageable now. She remembered the night she'd met Anna and her friend unexpectedly on this very dance floor. At that time, the walls felt like they had been closing in on her. But both Anna's and Astrid's presence made it so much easier. Even Kristoff made her feel safe. Knowing Kristoff and Astrid were together now made a tiny smile curl up on the blonde's lips. Thinking about it, the two were actually quite an impeccable match. Astrid deserved to find happiness. And Elsa was just so incredibly delighted that she found it in Kristoff. The boy had always excelled at being a great friend. He was trustworthy, steadfast and most important of all, caring. He would do nicely for Astrid.

Elsa took a sip of her club soda and with a smile she looked upon the massive crowd moving to the beat.

And that's when she saw him.

A flare of red hair caught her vision, and soon a pair of disgusting green eyes settled on her. Their gazes locked. Her breath quickened. The blood in her veins turned to ice and a crippling sensation shot through her. Hans just looked her. He didn't do anything. His face was so monotone, so dreadfully blank it was almost scary.

Astrid noticed Elsa freezing. As she followed Elsa's gaze onto the dance floor, she quickly froze solid as she laid eyes on Hans.

"I need to get out of here," Elsa breathed, pushing her way through the wall of people surrounding her.

"Elsa!" Astrid called, panic so obvious it was nearly palpable. "Elsa, don't!" but it was too late. Elsa was already lost in the sea of people and Astrid had no chance to catch up with her.

With an alarmed expression she looked to Anna for help. The redhead barely had time to comprehend what was going on. Kristoff seemed to have spotted Hans from a distance. The large blonde kept a close eye on the man, ensuring that he didn't move any closer. It wasn't long before everyone picked up their stuff and followed Elsa towards the exit. Astrid and Anna had abandoned all items to stalk after the blonde.

They found Elsa with her hands fiddle in her hair stalking down the sidewalk. The two girls rapidly caught up with the blonde, witnessing her uneven breaths and gaze stocked with terror.

"Els, shh, we're here. No one's going to hurt you, you're safe," Anna shushed soothingly, taking Elsa's face into her hands and tried to lock eyes with her girlfriend.

Astrid wore an expression of anger and disgust as she effectively scouted for any immediate danger. Her eyes desperately searched for any sign of Hans down the street, but there was no sight of him. Instead, Astrid noticed Kristoff and all the others come rushing down the street towards them. The woman quickly walked towards them, holding up her arms warily.

"Just give them some space, Elsa is pretty freaked out," she said a tad too harshly, but she couldn't help it. Her friend was suffering again and Astrid just couldn't stand it. At least she had Kristoff to put a comforting arm around her shoulder this time.

Meanwhile, Anna was still trying to get Elsa to calm down.

"Els, look at me. Please look at me. You're okay," the redhead kept saying.

"Please get me out of here," Elsa mumbled, and Anna nodded immediately. The redhead brushed Elsa's bangs over her head before she walked to Kristoff to get her and Elsa's belongings. Sven urgently hailed them a cab.

Before Anna walked off, Astrid grabbed onto her arm.

"Don't let her out of your sight tonight, okay? Kristoff and I will stop by tomorrow after work to check on her."

The redhead nodded.

Astrid closed the door to the cab and watched as the couple drove off. Then a tear slipped down her cheek.

* * *

**A/N:** Originally Anonymous was supposed to have been an unknown character that you would never actually get the name of. It was originally intended that Anonymous was a real asshole and one night hits Astrid, where after she calls Elsa. This was to build a stronger relationship between Elsa and Astrid, and finally let Elsa be the person coming to the rescue. However, I decided to write Kristoff as Anonymous instead because the drama seemed unnecessary and misplaced, throwing the focus of the story off course. If anyone is interested, when ITWYW is finished I can publish the short scene where Elsa comes to get Astrid that night, because I had actually already written it.

Thanks to sedryn for betaing!


	25. Hurt

**Chapter 25 - Hurt**

Elsa didn't say much that morning. Normally, Sunday mornings was the time to nurse their relationship. Anna and Elsa usually spent the time taking a shower together, go to a nice café for a late brunch and then they would get their paperwork in order so they would both have the evening free to watch whatever was on TV and hang out with Marie and Merida.

This morning was very different.

Elsa was in the shower for more than thirty minutes, but without Anna. Instead of brunch at Kai's Diner, Elsa just grabbed a piece of toast. Then she disappeared for the rest of the morning. She left a note on the counter saying that she was at the gym and would be back later.

Anna was worried. She clutched her coffee cup to her chest as she read the note. She'd just awoken to an empty bed, Elsa's bedside was cold, and the redhead deducted that the blonde probably hadn't slept much.

"Everything ok?" Merida asked as she walked into the kitchen to see Anna looking more lost than ever.

"I don't know…" the freckled girl mumbled, honestly quite frustrated over how last night had turned out.

It was supposed to have been a night of fun and celebrations. Not hurt and misery. The night had clearly ended up tearing open a few wounds Elsa had spent these past months healing. Hans hadn't just roused the angry fire inside of Elsa – the fire that had been nothing but embers these last few months - he'd fuelled it with kerosene and fed the flames with dry logs of wood. Anna wasn't sure how bad the fire had gotten – Elsa wouldn't let her in. She wasn't sure if there even was a fire, though last night might be a good indication of it.

Last night was a blur after they got into the cab. The redhead had tried to keep a close eye on her girlfriend, but Elsa had disappeared into the bathroom for nearly an hour the moment they got home. Anna was sitting outside the door listening to the shower running, holding her breath and asking Elsa every ten minutes if she was okay. The blonde went to sleep after that, not uttering a word. She just curled up onto her side and closed her eyes. But Anna knew she wasn't sleeping. In the end, the younger girl couldn't keep her eyes open any longer and she drifted off into a dreamless sleep. And when she opened her eyes again that morning, Elsa was gone.

Merida picked up the note on the counter and read it in silence.

"She'll be back soon, don't worry," the younger girl assured her.

"But I _am_ worried, M. Elsa is just so good at keeping these things locked up. Whenever things get bad, she runs away. And that makes it impossible for me to help her," Anna voiced, feeling whatever sadness gnawing on her insides amplify.

Sometimes it was challenging for Anna to understand that some people didn't have the same urge to share and open up. She didn't understand how some people could stand keeping all of those feelings and emotions bottled up. Her mom had always taught her the values of communication and honesty. In her house, feelings were encouraged to be shared – not hidden. The redhead was painfully aware of the greatly contrasting upbringings her and Elsa had had. But she still had trouble wrapping her head around it at times. She didn't understand how something that came so naturally to her, could seem so foreign to Elsa. Mrs. Albright had spared no expense whenever it came to embolden her daughter to express herself. There had been times when Anna just wanted to shut the door, shut out the world, and let her problems and feelings consume her, but her mother had always come knocking on her door, reluctantly persistent on making Anna spill whatever was clustering up inside of her. She recalled a specific incident in high school, the day Anna realized Elsa wasn't coming back, where her mother practically knocked down her door just to serve her hot chocolate and hold her until she fell asleep.

"She's not running away, she's at the gym. She just needs some time to clear her head," Merida tried.

Anna didn't look any less lost. Merida took note of the girl's defeated spirit. In a smooth motion, Merida jumped onto the counter and turned towards Anna.

"Look. I know Elsa have had some trouble in the past with running away and keeping things hidden from people. That was her way of protecting herself. But you got to have a little faith in her, Anna. You know Elsa has changed a lot since you two got back together. She wouldn't mess things up now by falling back to alcohol or run off, she's too smart for that. She'll come to you when she's ready. Just give her a little room to breathe. Not everyone can be like you and me and tackle things head on. But you got to admit, even you need some time for yourself once in a while. You need to trust her."

"I do trust her," Anna protested.

"Great. Then show her."

That seemed to silence Anna. Merida was good at being straight to the point. That was one of her many talents, and also a talent that landed her in trouble occasionally. But this time, this time it appeared to have worked. Anna said nothing as Merida jumped off of the counter, grabbing a piece of toast and disappeared into her room. The redhead was just left alone in the kitchen, clutching her coffee mug to her chest, while realizing that Merida was right. Anna needed to show Elsa that she trusted her. Starting by leaving Elsa some room to breathe.

With a frustrated groan, Anna left the kitchen and jumped in the shower. There she stood under the scolding water, thinking until her brain was fried. Finally, she stepped out of the shower, the steam having fogged up the mirror. She wrapped herself in a towel before going to her room.

To her surprise, Elsa was back. The two immediately locked eyes. Elsa was wearing a large hoodie accompanying a pair of tights and sneakers. Her hair was sticking to her face, sweat glistering on her forehead. Anna clutched the towel tighter around her. It felt weird. Elsa had seen Anna naked countless of times, but right then, Anna didn't want to expose herself like that.

"Hi," Anna said.

"Hey."

Both stood, just looking at each other. Elsa's face looked more relaxed, her shoulders dropped and the wrinkle between her eyes barely visible anymore.

"How was the gym?"

Elsa rubbed the back of her sweaty neck with her hand. She looked woolgathering. Perhaps a little guilty.  
"It was alright," she replied with a nod.

"That's good…" the redhead added, her voice small and hurt.

"Yeah…" Elsa wasn't sure what to say next. The way Anna was holding the towel so tightly around her convinced her that this wasn't the right time to say anything. She concluded that perhaps it was best to leave Anna alone while she got dressed.

Elsa grabbed the towel that hung over the chair by the desk and moved towards the bathroom. She was painfully aware of the fact that this was her third shower within twenty-four hours. But the cold water helped her collect her thoughts.

Elsa didn't make it that far. Just as she'd passed Anna and was about to close the door, Anna spoke.

"Would you please talk to me?" she uttered, her voice barely a whisper.

The blonde's eyes widened. The hurt in Anna's voice took her aback. Immediately she turned around, her face expressing worry. Elsa wanted to take Anna in her arms. It wasn't until now that she realized how affected Anna was by her distant behaviour.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked innocently, as if Elsa hadn't grasped the conflict at all.

Teal eyes dropped to the floor. The redhead brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Tears were prickling her eyes, but she refused to give into them. Why was she about to cry anyway? What was this? What was happening? All that happened last night was Hans encroaching on Elsa's life yet again. Normally, Anna would just force Elsa to let her comfort her. Normally she would. But last night, Elsa hadn't allowed it. She'd just shut off. And for the first time, Anna couldn't use brute force to make Elsa share her feelings. This relationship wouldn't work if she kept stringing Elsa to the ground and demanding her to come out of her hiding. Elsa had to want it too. And last night, Elsa definitely didn't want it.

"About you…" Anna whispered, clearing her throat awkwardly. "About how you're feeling. I just want to know that you're okay, and if there's anything I can do. I hate being forced to sit outside the bathroom door and listen with a glass pressed to the door just to know that you're still breathing."

The words hung in the air. Elsa looked… _shocked_. The blonde's heart dropped into her stomach, her body stunned to the point of numbness. Sapphire eyes wide with dismay, her mouth hanging open in astonishment.

"You really think I would ever do something like that? Off myself?" Elsa breathed, her eyes fluttering in disbelief.

Anna shrugged lightly. Her arms were wrapped around her torso. For once, it was Anna who couldn't look Elsa in the eye, and not the other way around.

"No… I mean, I don't know. I don't know because you never want to talk about Hans or your mother or the fact that you used to be an alcoholic. I'm happy that you told me, and I know it was a big step for you, but I feel like we've been dancing around it for months. And now it's catching up with you, and I don't know what to do. What do you expect me to do the next time you see Hans? Are you just going to leave me in the dark like you did this morning? I want to give you your space, and I trust that you will come to me when you're ready. I just need to know that that trust isn't misplaced. Especially if we're going to move in together. I do trust you, Els. I really do. You've proven yourself in every way that you can these past six months. But you can't blame me for being worried about you."

The room felt cold. Elsa was left speechless. She couldn't believe Anna had thought all of that in just one night. Elsa would've said something if she'd known Anna's mind would run off like that. Truth was, Elsa hadn't been devastated or depressed. She'd been scared, yes, but most of all, she'd been angry. She'd spent a lot of time thinking of a solution to the problem, instead of pondering over the problem until her heart broke like she used to do whenever Hans entered her mind back then. But for the first time, Elsa had actually taken a step back after the immediate shock to look at the situation from a different angle. She saw and opportunity instead of a defeat this time. If only Anna had known. If only she'd told her last night. Then they wouldn't be here. Then Anna wouldn't look as if Elsa had just kicked her in the gut and left her to bleed. Elsa wanted to take last night back so badly. So badly it almost hurt.

"I don't blame you…" the blonde mumbled forlorn. Daringly, she took a step closer. Anna raised her gaze from the floor. "And your trust isn't misplaced. Not at all. I was going to come talk to you after my shower. I feel bad for shutting off like I did yesterday, but it was a lot to take in, and I needed time to think."

The situation was tense. Anna's eyes fell upon Elsa's blue hoodie. It was two sizes too big. It was the hoodie Mr. Albright had given Elsa for Christmas. The man had exulted utter excitement towards the sweater, and he was proud he'd picked out the piece of clothing entirely by himself. He'd gotten the colour right – sky blue – but the size was slightly off. Anna knew Elsa didn't have the heart to exchange it at the store. Mr. Albright had lights in his eyes as Elsa unwrapped the gift, and the blonde simply couldn't stand taking that away from him. Now she wore it mostly at the gym. But it never failed to remind Anna of Elsa's gentle soul.

"Oh…." The redhead wasn't sure of what to say. She should have just kept her mouth shut. "I'm… I'm sorry."

Elsa took the final step towards Anna, closing the distance between them entirely. She dropped the towel in her hand, and it fell to the floor as her hands came to rest on Anna's shoulders. The blonde leaned forward, bending down to catch Anna's eyes. She didn't speak until she finally caught them.

"Don't apologize," Elsa told her, her eyebrows coming together in an apologetic expression. "You're right. I should've told you that I just needed some time to myself to think instead of just saying nothing."

The first tear fell down Anna's cheek. Elsa's hand cupped her chin. If she'd only known what she'd been doing to her girlfriend without being aware of it. She wanted to kick herself for being so inconsiderate. How could she not have seen it? Of course Anna would be upset about the way Elsa behaved last night. There should be awards for such stupidity.

"And you should know… I would never do that. No matter how hard things get, I would never do anything to harm myself. I could never do that to you…."

Slowly, very slowly, Elsa leaned in for a hug. Anna didn't hesitate in reciprocating it. Her head rested against Elsa's shoulder, and the moment she wrapped her arms around Elsa's torso, her towel loosened and fell to the ground. None of them bothered to pick it up, and Elsa just hugged Anna closer so that she wouldn't get cold.

"Thank you for always taking so good care of me…" Elsa whispered, and Anna just buried her face in Elsa's sweater, tears staining the fabric.

A knock sounded on the door.

"Just a minute!" Elsa called. The blonde bended down to hand Anna her towel. "Go take a shower, I'll be in the living room when you get back."

Anna wiped her eyes and nodded. Before Elsa went to see who was at the door, she admired Anna's slender figure as she walked to the bathroom. Unable to help herself, she bit her bottom lip, her cheeks blushing lightly.

Another knock sounded.

"Coming!" the blonde said annoyed.

Finally, she opened the door. There Astrid stood, Kristoff awkwardly standing behind her.

"Hey," Astrid spoke.

The girls rarely hugged. But ever since Astrid and Kristoff found each other, Astrid had been more open to the idea. Without warning, Astrid stepped forward and embraced Elsa.

"You stink," the shorter girl commented.

Elsa snorted. They hugged each other tighter. They had a hard time letting go since hugs were a rare occurrence for them. Both wanted it to last longer. But finally they had to pull apart. Kristoff stepped around Astrid and slung his arms around Elsa. She rested her head on one of his broad shoulders. There was something about that moment. Something that reassured Elsa that her two best friends weren't going anywhere. Kristoff hadn't become 'Astrid's boyfriend'. He was still Elsa's friend, who just happened to date her best friend. Nothing had changed other than Astrid and Kristoff now saw each other a little differently, and that was nothing but beautiful.

"I want to talk to you guys about something," Elsa said quietly, raising her head from Kristoff's shoulder. "Anna's in the shower, but I want her to hear this too."

Both nodded, and the three of them sat down in the couches to wait for Elsa's girlfriend to finish up.

"Oh, hey guys," Merida greeted as she joined them around the coffee table.

Elsa didn't mind Merida's presence. What she was about to tell them wasn't a secret. Not a moment later, Marie walked in with a cup of coffee in her grasp and neatly placed herself next to Merida.

"Am I interrupting something?" Marie asked, noticing everyone's serious demeanour.

Elsa shook her head. Together the crew sat and waited for Anna. The moment the redhead stepped out of the bedroom, hair damp from her shower, she felt as if she'd just walked in on an intervention. Everyone looked at her as she walked out of the bedroom.

"What's going on?" she asked, trying to hide the spike of panic rising in her chest.

"Elsa wanted to talk to us about something. We were just waiting for you," explained Merida.

That didn't wipe the frown off of Anna's face. If nothing else, the redhead only grew more worried. Cautiously, she sat down across from Elsa, next to Marie on the three-seater. She pressed her knees together in anticipation, her shoulder pushed back in a stiff posture.

All eyes were on Elsa now, and everyone was waiting for her to break the silence. There was no music filling the air, and a painful tension settled upon the small living room.

"First, I want to apologize for last night. I panicked, and I know I didn't handle the situation as gracefully as I would've liked. Sorry for spoiling your night," Elsa apologized, and soon a wave of protests sounded from the people around the coffee table. Everyone aired their understanding towards Elsa's situation, and convinced her that it was okay – everyone except Astrid and Anna. The two just sat, rigid with apprehension.

"That dude is a criminal and we all understand why you left," Marie soothed, and Merida and Kristoff nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, he's a fucking bastard!" Merida affixed.

This time, it was Elsa's turn to nod.

"I agree. Which is why I want to start working on a way to make sure he stays out of my life. For good this time," said Elsa, her voice thick and cold with vengeance. "There has to be some sort of legal way I can insure that he won't bother me anymore. I'm going to start working on a way to make that happen."

There were mixed feelings among the friends. Elsa strategically paused to let people absorb the information. Anna looked shocked, her face dropped and the frown on her face deepening. Yet, she remained silent.

"I want to help," Astrid was the first to inform. "I want him out of your life. I want to help you," she repeated.

Elsa smiled crookedly, happy to have the support of her best friend. Kristoff was onboard as soon as Astrid had established her opinion.

"Where do we start?" asked Merida, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.

Anna remained quiet, watching as people threw thoughts and ideas out into the room. Everyone decided to get Sven involved as well, since he had a degree in law. Merida swiftly left to call him and the man said he would be on his way within an hour. Kristoff excused himself to go make a batch of coffee. The evening rapidly approached, and they hadn't gotten any closer to figuring out how to get rid of Hans. Marie decided to order some pizzas after Sven arrived.

Everyone was wringing their brains to come up with a plan. Astrid and Sven were doing research on the computer. Sven had unbuttoned his shirt and his tie hung loosely around his neck.

"Hey," Merida suddenly said, as if an epiphany just hit her. "So we need help with law and lawyer stuff, right?"

"Yes, I guess you could say that," Elsa affirmed.

"Hey, Anna, isn't Jimmy a lawyer? Maybe he can help us," Merida spoke, directing the question towards Anna.

For the first time in hours, Anna was pulled into the planning process. A hand shot to the back of her neck and she rubbed it gently.

"Um… yeah. Jimmy studied law at Harvard…" the redhead answered tentatively. No one seemed to notice the hesitation in Anna's voice.

"Great, you should call him and ask him over. We could really use his help," Astrid supplied.

The way people were looking at her convinced her that there was no way of talking them out of it. Anna was forced to call her ex. Something she really didn't want to pull herself through. But she didn't see any way around it. Merida and Marie knew that Jimmy was a great guy. They were also aware of the way Anna and Jimmy had left things between them. That they were still friends, in the most platonic sense of the word.

"Okay," Anna agreed reluctantly.

Elsa was too engrossed in the research Sven and Astrid were conducting to think more about Jimmy. She remembered how happy he had seemed when he'd run into Anna at IKEA. She didn't see a problem with him stopping by, especially not if he was willing to help. She just hoped that Anna was okay with it, and that it wouldn't be too weird for her.

Anna walked off to make the phone call in private. No one noticed her hand fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Soon, she hung up and walked towards the rest of the group. Purposely, Anna placed herself on the couch furthest from everyone else.

"Is he coming?" asked Astrid.

Anna merely nodded.

An hour later there was a knock on the door. Marie was the one to answer. She greeted Jimmy with a quick hug. Jimmy was tall, taller than Elsa remembered him. Admittedly, that made him slightly more intimidating. The man was warmly greeted and offered pizza and beers. Marie pulled out a bottle of wine, whose content disappeared surprisingly fast.

Anna placed herself on the far end of the couch across from Elsa and Jimmy. They were working intensely by the computer. Astrid and Kristoff were in the kitchen with Marie. Merida and Sven were gods know where. Meanwhile, Anna curled her feet up beneath her. Her gaze rested on the two people across from her. Her current lover conversing with her ex lover. It was all so bizarre. Anna noted how the two of them contrasted. Not just in the obvious ways, such as their sex. Elsa was fair skinned, long pale hair and bright blue eyes. Jimmy had brown eyes, his skin dark and his hair buzz cut. He was broad shouldered, and looked massive in comparison to Elsa. The two just clashed together, and couldn't be more opposite.

Jimmy suddenly looked up. They locked eyes for a brief second. There was so much sadness between them. The look on Jimmy's face reminded Anna she didn't love him anymore. She still cared for him, but the love for him was completely gone. For Anna, it had been the sadness that had torn their relationship to shreds at the end. For Jimmy, it had been the broken bond between them moment Anna rejected his marriage proposal. It was hard to comprehend that a love that was once so intense had faded into almost nothing. Then Merida plopped down on the couch beside her.

Elsa noted how the ex-couple exchanged a quick nod and an awkward smile.

"Thank you for coming, Jimmy," the blonde spoke, feeling a tiny but guilty of how she'd acted last time they'd met.

"Just happy to help…" he answered shortly.

His fingers flew over the keyboard. Jimmy was writing emails to some old friends from The Southern Industries. Elsa cleared her throat.

"Listen, I'm sorry about how I acted the first time we met. I shouldn't have acted like I did."

The man shrugged, not looking at the blonde even once.

"No hard feelings," Jimmy said, smiling faintly. "You should know… I'm not doing this for you. But I owe it to Anna. Despite everything we went through, I still care about her a lot."

He shot a longing look towards Anna. She was sitting across from them, talking to Merida. Neither of them looked happy.

"I can tell that you do," Elsa mumbled, eying Jimmy and the look he was giving her girlfriend.

Elsa watched him for a little while. His eyes were filled with sorrow.

"Take care of her," Jimmy breathed, his voice strained. Elsa could tell this was hard on him.

"I promise. She's in safe hands."

They didn't talk more about Anna that night. The clock quickly stroke ten and everyone was exhausted. They hadn't made a lot of progress tonight, but they'd put things in motion. And Elsa was thankful for that. The only people that kept working were Astrid and Jimmy. Everyone else was spread across the couches, everyone apart from Anna. Elsa found the redhead in the kitchen.

"Hey," Elsa said, closing the door behind her.

Anna turned around and leaned against the counter. Her cheeks were blooming a faint red, and her eyes looked tired.

"Hey," the younger girl finally replied, but avoided Elsa's gaze.

Elsa had figured as much that Anna didn't feel like looking her in the eye. The blonde sighed heavily.

"I know you don't think this is a good idea," she informed.

Anna tightened the grip she kept around herself.

"I haven't said anything," she mumbled in return.

The blonde took a step closer. She rubbed her eyes once, knowing that this was probably going to turn into an argument. They heard music from the living room. Everyone had worked hard, they deserved a break. The music was accompanied by loud chatting and happy laughs.

"I know," the older girl stated. "You've been quiet all night. You haven't said one word to me. And I saw the look on your face when I first mentioned trying to get Hans out of my life for good."

Anna rubbed her forehead. She wasn't in the mood for this. There was a reason she'd avoided Elsa all night.

"I'm not going to stand in your way," she simply answered.

Elsa closed the distance between, placing herself next to Anna and leaned up against the counter.

"You're my girlfriend, Anna. If anyone has the right to stand in my way, it's you."

"I'm not going to be that person," the redhead stated finally.

The blonde shook her head. Why was Anna acting like this? She thought she'd be happy for her. She thought Anna would be proud that she'd finally decided to stop living in fear and confront the problem head-on.

"Why are you so opposed to this?" Elsa said, more hostilely than intended.

Anna merely sighed again.

"Because I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish here. Are you trying to get him sent back to prison? Trying to get him to apologize? A restraining order?"

"I don't know either. I just want … _something_. I want him gone. Away from me. But if I may be honest, I wouldn't mind seeing him going back to prison," Elsa responded. Anna just looked down, and shook her head lightly. "I don't see what's wrong with that. I don't understand why you're so against this," the blonde continued as she saw Anna's reaction.

"Because I don't believe in revenge, Elsa. That sort of lust for someone else's suffering is an ugly thing and too many people engulf themselves in these emotions, and they just have a tendency of swallowing you whole."'

The music grew louder on the other side of the door. Elsa was getting angry with the entire situation. She was thankful for the help and support she'd received, but right now she wished all the people in the next room would just go away.

"What about the suffering he has caused me? What about my mom?" the blonde shot.

This time, Anna couldn't contain herself anymore. She groaned loudly, throwing her hands in the air while she walked towards the middle of the kitchen, releasing herself from the touch of Elsa's shoulder. She finally found the courage to look her girlfriend in the eye.

"You know how sorry I am about what happened to you and your mom. You know that, Els. But I'm just scared that this will consume you. What're you going to do when he's released from prison again? Are you really going to waste so much time on such a pitiful person? This will only end up in a lot of hurt and court dates. Is it really worth it? Is _he _really worth it?"

Both felt the anger swelling inside of them.

"He could hurt someone else, Anna. Have you thought about that? If he's willing to do it once, what assures us that he won't do it again?"

"Of course I've thought about that! And I don't think there's anything I can say to talk you out of this, which is why I haven't said anything all evening. I just know, that the person who's longing for revenge, isn't the same person who's wearing that sweatshirt my father gave her right now. She's too gentle to even exchange a present that doesn't fit her to spare someone else's feelings."

Anna turned around on her heels and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Elsa with a gnawing guilt in her stomach.

When Elsa re-entered the living room, Anna was nowhere to be found. It was probably good, because there was nothing the two could say to each other that could resolve anything. Not tonight. They both needed to cool off. So Elsa grabbed her jacket from the hanger. She was still in her sports wear. All she felt like doing was to go home, take a shower, and go to bed.

"I think I'm going to go home. It's been a long day. I'll call you tomorrow," she said to Astrid who was standing by the speakers with a beer in her hand. "And um, could you tell Anna that I left? I'm not so sure she wants to talk to me right now."

"Sure thing, Bambi," Astrid nodded, smiling understandingly. "Are you okay?"

The taller woman nodded once. Astrid didn't want to push it. The look on Elsa's face was enough of an indicator to let Astrid know when to back off.

So Elsa left without saying goodbye to anyone other than Astrid and Jimmy. She thanked them both another time. Then she left, entering the cool night air while trying to collect her thoughts.

* * *

She stirred in her bed. Her hair was still damp from her shower. But she felt better. The guilt was still feasting on her insides, but she had at least found a way to push the feeling aside until the morning. Instead it was Hans who was plaguing her mind. The hatred merely fuelled the guilt, and suddenly she couldn't sleep. She slipped on a pair of socks. As she stood in the kitchen, filling up a glass with water, there was a knock on the door. It was past two am. Elsa wondered who it could be.

"It's Merida and Anna!" Merida called from the other side of the door.

The blonde frowned. What the hell were they doing here? Why hadn't they called? Elsa opened the door and immediately knew something wasn't right. Anna's arm was draped over Merida's shoulder, nearly letting Merida support all of her weight. They were loosing balance, and Merida had a tough time sustaining all of their weight.

"She's really drunk," Merida mumbled as Elsa quickly rushed to Anna's side to scoop her up into her arms. She was crying lightly, and she immediately hid her face in Elsa's shoulder.

"She wouldn't shut up about you. She wanted to see you," Merida explained.

Tears were soaking into her shirt and Anna quietly kept weeping. The redhead wasn't heavy in her arms. She hugged her close, holding onto her tightly.

"Why didn't you just call me?" the blonde asked, confusion evident in her voice. "I would've come over."

"We tried telling her that, but she was already out the door, so I just followed her to make sure she got here safe," the shorter redhead explained.

Anna let out a tiny whimper and Elsa shushed her soothingly, telling her that she was okay. The smell of liquor wasn't easy to mistake. How much had she been drinking?

"Thank you for doing that," Elsa said, glad to know Anna's friends were so loyal and protective of her.

"Sure, no problem. You should probably get her to bed," the shorter girl suggested, and Elsa nodded. They both walked into the living room. Elsa gently lowered Anna onto the couch and pulled off her shoes.

"Why's she crying?" the older girl worried.

"Jimmy," Merida answered shortly.

Elsa's attention diverted away from Anna to look the redhead straight in the eye.

"What about him? Did he do something to her?" she asked, trying to hide the accusation and anger she was feeling well in her chest.

"No, he didn't do anything. But I think seeing him kind of reminded her of the baby she lost. I didn't notice how drunk she was until he left and she started crying."

The moment Merida had mentioned the baby, Elsa felt horrible. How could she not have seen this coming? Elsa knew Anna was doing better, much better, but how could she not have known that seeing Jimmy like that would be painful for Anna? How could she not have spared it a thought? How could she just have assumed that Anna was okay with this? She realized she must've been too caught up in her own drama. Again. She should've known by that look Anna gave Jimmy earlier. She should've known. Why hadn't she known? Elsa wanted to cry. She felt like the worst person in the world.

"Well, thanks for bringing her here," she breathed, clearing her throat to fight the urge to cry. "Do you want to stay over?"

"No thanks, I'm good. I'll just walk. Just take care of 'er"

"I promise."

She'd promised Jimmy to take care of her. And not even five hours later, she'd broken that promise to him. But there was nothing she could do about it now. It was too late. All she could do now was to fix Anna up and get her to bed. She picked Anna up again.

"Shh… you're okay… I'm right here," she soothed, and she felt Anna's grip become tighter around her shoulders.

Elsa walked to the bathroom, her arms getting a little tired from carrying Anna for so long. Very gently, she put Anna down on the floor and turned the knobs to the bathtub. Hot water started to fill the tub, a warm steam surging from the surface.

Then Elsa began to undress her.

"Lift your arms for me, love,"

Anna obliged.

"Tell me if you feel sick."

The redhead nodded silently, her gaze distant and eyes glossy. When Anna was stripped of all of her clothes, Elsa scooped her up in her arms again. Carefully she lowered Anna into the balmy water. Elsa had to step into the tub with one foot to support her weight, leaving her left pyjamas leg and sock soaked. Anna was holding a tight grip around Elsa's shoulder, her forehead pressing against her girlfriend's neck. Goosebumps spread over her skin as she felt the water swallowed her. Instinctively, Anna pulled her knees up, leaning her front onto her thighs.

Elsa tried to remain focused instead of letting the worry that was gnawing on her insides eat her up. One by one, she undid Anna's braids and removed her make-up. Anna said nothing as Elsa brushed her hair. She just stared into nothing, her thoughts swimming inside of her head in an intangible mess.

The blonde grabbed the shower head and turned on the water again. Water had soaked into her shirt and trousers, but Elsa didn't care. All she cared about was Anna right now. She thought the water would do her some good, perhaps even clear her mind a bit. Elsa washed Anna's hair, careful not to get water in her eyes.

She left Anna alone for a minute to throw a towel in the dryer so that it was toasty warm when Anna was done. But no more than a minute. Elsa didn't dare leave her alone for longer. The redhead sat where she'd left her when she returned.

The blonde placed herself on the edge of the bathtub. There was no sound in the room other than the droplets falling from the faucet and into the pool of water.

"I'm sorry," Elsa whispered. "I'm so sorry, Anna."

Anna didn't say anything. Instead, she moved to the side of the tub, and leaned her foggy head onto Elsa's lap. Elsa leaned forward, resting her head atop of Anna's.

They sat like that until the water turned cold.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to sedryn for betaing this chapter :)

And a massive thanks to yaripawn for the amazing fanart! It's truly brilliant. You guys should totally go check it out :)

December is a pretty busy month, so updates might be a bit irregular until New Years.

-BV


	26. Never Much of a Dancer

**Chapter 26 – Never Much of a Dancer**

"Hey, honey. It's been a while seen I've seen you here," the woman behind the counter said kindly.

Her thick black hair was tied back in a bun and she was wearing her usual yellow apron. Elsa was standing by the door.

The restaurant was mostly empty. From the ceiling hung flask-green wine bottles, light bulbs were glowing inside the hollow bottles creating a romantic dim lighting. Candles were lit on the dark wooden dinner tables, the flames dancing in the wind from the gust of air followed by Elsa's entrance. The floor was moss green, and a chandelier hung above the granite bar. Old wine bottles were stocked along the wall, shelves upon shelves of wines from the most prestigious wine districts in the world. You could hear the chef hum gently to himself from the kitchen, along with the sound of sizzling food and the heavy smell of expensive olive oils. A couple in the far right corner was enjoying an early breakfast, but other than that, the place was deserted. The blonde shut the door behind her and walked towards the woman who was standing behind the counter.

"Yeah… I know. It's been… a busy couple of months," Elsa replied as she rested her arms on the counter.

The waitress was polishing a glass with her apron, before she gently placed the glass on the counter and gave Elsa her full divided attention.

"Can I get you anything? Or maybe you didn't come here for food," the waitress suggested knowingly, quirking an eyebrow.

Elsa rubbed the back of her neck. She'd felt rather apprehensive about coming here. She knew it had been a while. She should have visited a long time ago, but somehow, she never got around to it. Maybe it wasn't as much as 'getting around to it' but more about having the guts. This place reminded Elsa of so many things. Most of them good. And that was somewhat the problem. So many good memories had taken place here, it was almost heartbreaking that there wouldn't take any more place here. This place would never be the same without her mom.

The blonde shot a look towards the wall behind the waitress. There hung a picture. It was a framed photograph taken in black and white. Elsa remembered that day very clearly because she had been the one to take the photo. The waitress in front of her was laughing widely on the picture. She was wearing the same apron that she was wearing today. Next to her stood a woman. A woman that looked uncannily like Elsa, only a couple of decades older. The woman was her mother, and she was also wearing one of those yellow aprons. They were standing outside the restaurant, the blue neon sign above them spelling _Le Petit Chéri._ Elsa let her gaze fall from the photograph. She loved looking at the photo, especially because she loved seeing her mother's smile, but right now she felt too forlorn to keep looking at it.

"I actually came here to talk to you…" the blonde spoke gingerly.

Admittedly, Elsa was a little ashamed that she hadn't been here for so long. Tiana was her mother's closest friend here in New York, and it was her who had acquired Elsa's mom a job at _Le Petit Chéri_. She hated herself for not visiting Tiana more often. Because, right now it seemed as if Elsa only came to Tiana whenever she needed something. And that wasn't true. Not at all. Tiana was probably Elsa's best friend, right after Astrid. After her mother was hospitalized, Elsa went to Tiana for advice. Advice she couldn't come to Astrid for, because only Tiana knew how Elsa was feeling. Tiana lost her dad at a young age. He was sick for a long time until the day he just suddenly wasn't here anymore. Tiana truly knew how Elsa was feeling. The prolonged wait of watching someone suffer, where in the end, it's probably yourself who suffers the most just by watching the person you love slowly fade away.

But it still didn't excuse the fact that Elsa hadn't visited Tiana since she started at Frost &amp; Co. More than six months without a word, that wasn't how you treated your friends. Elsa was good at being caught up in her own misery sometimes. Just like yesterday when she had mindlessly invited Jimmy over without sparing Anna and her feelings a thought. Flaws could sometimes be beautiful. This particularly flaw that Elsa possessed held no beauty whatsoever. This was a nasty flaw, and she needed to rid herself of it as fast as possible. So she was starting here. At _Le Petit Chéri_.

"Everything alright?" Tiana asked.

Elsa hesitated. A heavy sigh escaped her throat. A hand ran through her hair and she shot a look towards the wall with the photograph again, the image of her mother's laughter became imprinted in her brain.

"Yes… or… no…. I don't know. I need some advice."

"Oh, I see," the woman laughed, her kind brown eyes held her warm spark. "Normally you go to Astrid for advice."

Astrid and Tiana had met countless times. On the weekends, the four of them often prepared a big meal at Elsa's and her mom's apartment. It felt so long ago. Now it was like there was this gap between them. Elsa felt so far away from everything, isolated from the life she used to live when her mother was around.

"I know… I guess I just needed some…" Elsa was at the lack of words.  
"Motherly advice?" Tiana suggested kindly.

"Yeah…" the blonde nodded.

Tiana leaned onto the counter, resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she stared expectantly at Elsa. There was no trace of bitterness on the woman's face. No trace of blame or hurt. It was as if Elsa had been here just yesterday.

Elsa took a seat on one of the barstools, nervously swallowing the lump in her throat, her heart heavy with guilt. It was a relief sitting in this spot again, Elsa thought.

"It's about my girlfriend," the blonde began, fiddling with her fingers the slightest.

The older woman looked surprised. There was happiness on her face.

"A girlfriend, huh? When did this happen?" Tiana grinned, pinching Elsa's cheek lovingly.

"We celebrated our six-month anniversary yesterday…" the younger woman mumbled shamefully.

The look on Tiana's face was what Elsa had feared. There was that display of suppressed hurt lingering on her features.

"I must admit, Elsa. I'm bit surprised I haven't been introduced yet," Tiana admitted, hiding the tiny bit of hurt that tried to push through.

Elsa nodded guiltily.

"I'm sorry," she spoke, "but after what happened at the hospital with my dad and all… it just hurt involving her in anything that had anything to do with mom."

Just like that, Tiana's chest tightened and Elsa was forgiven. She understood how keeping the good and the bad things in life separated from each other was sometimes the only way to survive. Because there was always the fear of the good becoming infiltrated by the bad, like an evil virus eating all your happiness, so the safest way to play it was just to keep the two things apart.

"Yeah, I heard about what happened, Gerda told me. I'm so sorry, cupcake. I know this whole thing has been rough on you," the waitress soothed, her hand reaching over to blanket Elsa's caringly.

"Yeah…" the blonde mumbled, her gaze dropping to the counter.

Black brows knitted together. She refused to let this reunion become about guilt or sadness. Tiana tapped Elsa's hand gently once. Then she poured them both a cup of hot coffee, smiling gently at the girl.

"Tell me about your girlfriend. She must be pretty special if you've come all the way down here for advice," the waitress quirked an eyebrow.

Elsa smirked shyly.

"Do you remember that I once told you about Anna? Anna Albright?"

"_The_ Anna?! No way! How did that happen?"

Elsa told her about how she'd coincidently stumbled (ungracefully and messily) back into Anna's life at Frost &amp; Co. The two women had a good laugh when Elsa told her about the slap. It was just like the good old days, except that one thing was missing, but Elsa could still glance upon the wall and be reminded of the one person who should've been here.

Elsa was suddenly glad she came. This was just what she needed. She needed a mom, and right now, Tiana was the closest thing she had to one. Sure, she could talk to deaf ears at the hospital, pretending that her mother was listening, but it just wasn't enough anymore.

Elsa sipped the coffee in front of her, wrapping her hands around the cup to keep her fingers warm. Tiana was smiling, laughing along with Elsa as the younger girl told the story of how she was reunited with the love of her life. Elsa wasn't sure if she believed in fate or destiny, but Tiana couldn't help but think the universe had meant to bring them back together again. Some things were just meant to be. Anna and Elsa were apparently just two puzzles pieces that didn't entirely fit together in the beginning, but later turned out to complete each others pictures.

Tiana could easily tell that Elsa had grown. There wasn't this crushing feeling of pain hidden in Elsa's eyes any longer. She didn't look like she was barely just surviving, but Elsa looked as if she was actually living. It warmed her heart, and she spared a loving thought to her dear friend currently resting in a hospital bed a few miles from the restaurant.

Soon the laughs were over, and Tiana had to ask what was burdening Elsa. Surely, there was a reason Elsa had been standing on her doorstep, the worry had been obvious on her features the moment she entered the restaurant.

"So what can I do for you? I'm all ears," the older woman offered, ready to hear what was bothering the girl.

Elsa smiled lightly. Then she told Tiana about everything. She told her about Hans, she told her about Jimmy, and finally she told her about Anna. Elsa spared no detail when it came to their fight yesterday, and what had happened afterwards. She told Tiana about Hans, the fist fight that happened so long ago, and also about two days ago at the club.

It was a lot to take in. Tiana wasn't prepared for the seriousness of it all. There surely was a dilemma here. Elsa was obviously in a great need of ridding Hans from her life, erasing the man as if he had never existed. However, not even Tiana could deny that there was a slight thirst for revenge in Elsa's words. The question was now, what should Elsa do? Should she listen to Anna, give up the chance to free herself completely from her past and just let it go? Or should she do what she thought she rightfully deserved, get the man who'd cost her nearly everything out of her life for good?

Elsa couldn't have both. But at the same time, she knew she wouldn't lose Anna depending on which decision she made. Anna would stick with her no matter what, that she was sure of. At the same time, Anna was her everything. Anna often times knew what was best for her, even when she didn't even know it herself. Sometimes in relationships, you had to make compromises. No two people will ever agree upon everything. But Elsa wanted to show Anna that she was listening, even if she did decide to go against what Anna had said.

"What do you think I should do?" the blonde asked, deeply wishing that Tiana could simply provide her with a solution to this entire mess that could make everyone happy.

"The only person who can answer that question is you, baby," the older woman snorted with a smile.

Elsa was a bit disappointed at that. She'd hoped for at least some sort of hint about which direction she should go.

"But," she heard Tiana say thoughtfully when she saw the look on Elsa's face. "Do you know what I think your mother would have wanted?"

The question crushed everything inside of Elsa's mind. Everything she had decided on, or thought about during the past forty-eight hours was destroyed. The guilt started to envelope her. If her mother could see her right now, if she had been here… Elsa knew what she would have said.

"… She didn't believe in evil…" the blonde mumbled, barely audible.

"That's right," Tiana agreed. "I think your mom would be rather disappointed to hear about this vendetta of yours. I think she would've have wanted better than that for you. And I'm sorry to say this, sweetheart, but I think she would have agreed with Anna."

Elsa knew she was right, but in the end, this wasn't what she wanted to hear. She needed a solution and she needed answers, and no one seemed to want to give them to her.

"But how do I move on from this?" Elsa shot, her hands unwrapping from around her cup. "He's out there! What do I do to get him out of my head? How do I stop letting him into my mind whenever I see him?"

Their eyes met. Elsa was looking at her almost begging. Without hesitation, Tiana leaned further over the counter and grabbed one of Elsa's hands in hers.

"I know you don't want to hear this," the waitress began, "but what was the thing your mom always taught you? Something she said humanity would crumble without?"

Elsa's gaze dropped to their hands. Tiana's thumbs were caressing the back of her wrist. Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could pretend it was her mother tracing her thumbs over her skin.

"… Forgiveness…" Elsa sighed.

"That's right."

"So you expect me to just forgive him?"

Tiana shook her head, smiling vaguely at the bewildered girl.

"I don't expect anything from you, sweet-pea. But I think that's what your mother would have wanted. And eventually… forgiving a person might be the only way to find peace."

The truth hurts, but sometimes, people still need to hear it. Because the truth only hurts for a few moments. But a lie can hurt for a life time. Tiana was determined on being truthful, giving Elsa advice despite knowing that this wasn't what the blonde wanted to hear. But she knew Elsa would thank her in the future. And after all, it was still all up to Elsa to decide what to do. All Tiana could do was provide guidance.

"I know it isn't easy," the older woman continued, "but maybe eventually it will become. It's better than wasting so much time and energy on someone like him. Someone who doesn't deserve it. It's a waste of precious time you could spend with Anna or Astrid or your friends, or just something that you love. Hate only fuels more hate. If you don't stop this lust for revenge before it starts, you'll spend most of your life bitterly fighting to put someone behind bars, and I really think that would be a shame. And I know this isn't just about revenge. You think of it as justice. But sometimes, when you're this hurt by a situation, it's hard to tell the difference."

Elsa had a lot to think about. She'd gotten what she came for. She'd gotten the advice her mother would've given her. And that was all she needed. Now all there was left to do was think about it. The words had struck her harder than she thought possible.

Before she left, Tiana gave Elsa two freshly baked cinnamon buns. Now she could go home and surprise Anna with breakfast in bed. Maybe that could help make up for yesterday. Hopefully the younger girl wasn't too hung-over.

"Don't be a stranger, honey," Tiana said as she handed over the bag with baked goods. Elsa just nodded, smiling lightly with gratitude.

The blonde opened the door and the chill morning wind blew her hair back.

"And Elsa?" the waitress called after her, and Elsa turned around. "I expect to be introduced soon," Tiana teased and smiled sassily.

* * *

It was a new week. Elsa and Anna were busy with moving. Moving was almost a relief for both of them. It provided them with time to look forward to the new life they were about to start together. Anna knew that moving in with Elsa was the right thing to do. Elsa made her happy. She loved Elsa. But she knew a relationship required more than love to last. However, Anna was quite convinced that their bond possessed all the qualities to last. In the end, all it took was hard work, and they'd both shown that they were willing to put in the effort. Every couple had their ups and downs, but what was important was whether the couple was able to stick together even during the roughest times. Anna and Elsa had proven that they could do just that.

The morning after Anna's drunken incident, Elsa had gone to visit Tiana. She'd brought home the cinnamon buns, which they ate in bed where they stayed and talked until they both had to go to work. Elsa had spent all morning apologizing, and Anna had assured all was forgiven (she'd underlined that statement with some cuddling in bed). They'd decided that if this process of getting Hans out of Elsa's life had to involve Jimmy, Anna didn't want to be an active part of it. Elsa had expected as much, and she realized that she would have to do this without her girlfriend. However, what made Elsa's heart swell was that Anna had said that no matter what Elsa decided to do, she would support her in it – even if it meant she would have to sit through court cases and lawsuits.

They didn't talk much about Hans or Jimmy after that. Instead they focused on their new apartment. It functioned as a great distraction, pulling them closer after such a terrible weekend.

Moving days were always fun. You get to go through stuff you thought you'd thrown out and simply clean out your life in the most physical of manners. Out with the old and in with the new, isn't that how it goes? Anna knew how to make moving fun. Elsa tried to ruin the fun by being organized and practical. But that was nothing a little music couldn't handle.

"Come dance with me," the redhead demanded happily, swirling around in the big empty living room of their new apartment.

The night had fallen upon them, only a few candles lit up the room. Anna's old stereo was playing in the corner. She'd carefully picked out an old Dion album, feeling her body itching to move to the catchy beat. Rhythmically she swayed her hips, moving her legs accordingly and letting the music fill her.

"We still need to move these boxes into the bedroom," Elsa mumbled absently, ticking off a few points on her list.

Anna groaned, swiftly snatching the list from Elsa and throwing it over her shoulder.

"No, we need to dance," the redhead insisted, pulling Elsa to her and wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

"But, Anna, we still need to-"

"Shh," Anna hushed and grabbed Elsa's hand to put them on her hips. "Dancing, no talking."

Anna did a twirl, desperately trying to make Elsa feel her forceful urge to dance. Elsa was stiff in her movements. She didn't feel the music the same way Anna did. Elsa kept the music trapped inside of her head, the tunes never moving past her brain. But Anna, Anna felt it in her entire body, her every cell sizzling with the undeniable longing to dance.

"I'm not very good at this," the blonde admitted sheepishly, a faint blush spreading to her cheeks.

Anna could barely contain the snort erupting from her throat.

"You were never much of a dancer," the redhead teased, pecking a soft kiss to the corner of Elsa's mouth.

A wicked smirk spread across her face. Suddenly, she pulled Elsa close, pushing her body flush up against her girlfriend. The stunned expression on Elsa's face made her smirk wider. Their hips collided, and Anna wrapped an arm around Elsa's waist to lead the dance.

"Stop using your mind as your dance floor, and let your feet do the dancing," the younger girl laughed.

Elsa rigidly moved along, her feet never where they were supposed to, but Anna didn't care because Elsa was smiling and they were having fun.

The blonde was hopeless, but Anna had to admit she gave it an honourable try. They nearly didn't get anything done that evening. After another few Dion songs, Elsa was done for. She'd had enough of the jazzy R&amp;B. Frantically digging through an old box, Elsa dug out her favourite album. _Chasing Cars_ echoed through the room, and Elsa reached out her hand for Anna to take. She pulled her girlfriend close, resting her chin on top of copper hair. Together they stood and swayed along to the music. They slow danced to a few Snow Patrol songs. This was what their anniversary should've been like. The bubbly feeling of butterflies flapping inside their stomachs, the heat rushing to their cheeks, the tingling feeling caused by every touch and the steady beat of their hearts pumping just a tad too quick. Elsa closed her eyes, pretending that this was how she had celebrated the six happiest (and hardest) months of her life.

"Hey, Els…?" the redhead mumbled against her shoulder.

The blonde hummed in response, nuzzling closer to Anna. They barely moved any longer, only their hips swayed gently from side to side, but they never once lifted their feet.

"Have you ever thought about… I mean… I was wondering… do you ever want kids?"

It was funny how the topic had never been up for discussion before. You would've thought with Anna's infertility that the two would have at least brushed upon the matter once or twice. She hated to admit it, but Anna had been scared to even as much as mention kids to Elsa. Elsa was delicate about certain things, especially when it came to relationships. Anna didn't want to seem pushy by asking, but she just needed to know so badly. And it didn't mean that she wanted kids right now, or even in a near future. She just needed to know whether it was an option at all. If it was something they both wanted. Somehow, the redhead had just assumed that the older girl simply didn't have an interest in having children whatsoever. However, how could she truly know if she would never ask?

To her surprise, Elsa snorted. This wasn't the reaction she'd expected. She'd expected Elsa to freeze up, stutter out a nervous response about how she wasn't sure if she would ever be ready for the commitment of having kids.

"Yeah, I guess someday," the blonde smiled gently, her hands running over Anna's auburn locks. "I wouldn't mind a little studmuffin running around causing all kinds of troubles," Elsa snorted again. The image of a tiny Astrid running around their apartment played inside of Elsa's mind.

"A what?"

"Never mind," the blonde smiled. "Why the sudden curiosity?"

Anna shrugged lightly, pressing her forehead closer against Elsa's neck.

"I don't know…" the younger girl mumbled gingerly.

"You're not getting any crazy ideas are you?" her girlfriend teased.

"No! No, no, no, no, I was just wondering if, you know, you and I would ever, like, maybe have a family someday, I totally didn't mean to put any pressure on you or-"

"I was kidding, love. It's a fair question."

Anna couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed at her outburst. She hugged Elsa tighter, and Elsa returned the embrace. The faint scent of mint and vanilla invaded Anna's senses, she loved the way Elsa smelled.

"So…" Anna began before truly knowing what to say.

"So…?"

"How would you… how would _we_…?" again she was at the loss of words.

However, Elsa understood what Anna was trying to say. She knew why this was so difficult for her to talk about. It was a sore subject. Although, Elsa was grateful that the redhead had taken the initiative to talk about it. Walking on eggshells around the topic wouldn't help anyone.

"I've always liked the idea of adoption. I like that both parents are more equally connected in a way. I would hate it if you felt like I had more right to our child just because I was biologically related to it, and you weren't," Elsa explained. "And also, there're already enough kids in this world that doesn't get the love they deserve," she added, making Anna melt.

"I think you're completely right," the redhead smiled, reaching up to kiss Elsa's lips.

* * *

**A/N:** thanks to sedryn for betaing :)


	27. A Life After Death

**Chapter 27 – ****A Life After Death**

She got the call an early Thursday morning. Elsa was still sleeping.

It was barely five in the morning, and Elsa was a light sleeper, so Anna hurried out of the bedroom. It was Astrid calling.

The moment she saw Astrid's name flash across the screen, Anna was suddenly very awake. Elsa stirred lightly in the bed as the redhead shut the door. She walked all the way to the kitchen before she picked up. For some reason, Anna knew exactly what Astrid was going to say before she picked up the phone with groggy eyes.

"Hey," the redhead greeted, fighting a yawn.

"Are you alone?" Astrid spoke immediately, no time for saying hello.

"Yes, I'm in the kitchen," Anna whispered, paranoid that Elsa might hear.

A heavy sigh sounded from the other end of the line. Astrid sniffled once, but that was it, her voice was tough and determined as always.

"She passed away last night. I got the call a few minutes ago."

Anna's heart sank. Astrid had said what Anna feared she might say.

Elsa's mom was dead.

She felt her throat tighten. She thought she had been prepared for this, but in reality, how can you ever really prepare for something like this? Anna didn't know Mrs. Christianson that well. They'd crossed paths occasionally in Arendelle, and she knew her mom had been across the street with some baked goods during Christmas time. The sadness in Anna's heart wasn't entirely a result of the death of a great woman, but mostly the hurt that it would bring the daughter that was left behind. She was worried about how Elsa would react and deal with this grief. A raging fear of Elsa shutting her out again swelled in the redhead's gut.

"Why didn't they call Elsa?" Anna croaked, feeling the first hot tear stain her cheek.

"Because I told them not to. I made a deal with Gerda a long time ago," Astrid explained.

"Maybe that's for the best," the redhead sighed, wiping away a tear.

Nervously, Anna peaked over her shoulder to ensure Elsa wasn't suddenly standing right behind her.

"Trust me, it's for the best," Astrid concluded. "Elsa has a tendency to go through stuff like this alone. If she was the only one who got the call, she might not even have told us until she did something stupid."

Maybe that wasn't entirely true. Maybe that was just the old Elsa. The blonde had come a long way, surely, but Astrid didn't dare take any chances. Anna understood that. And she supported it. She didn't want to take any chances either. She loved Elsa too much for that. Elsa needed her friends and girlfriend during this rough time. The suffering was finally over, now Elsa was finally allowed to go through the closure of the life she had with her mother. Elsa was finally granted with the relief of grief, because by now, it almost seemed like a luxury that the constant anguish was final over. Now both Elsa and her mom could be released from the numbing suffering they'd been through the past four years, and long before that.

"So what do we do now?" the freckled girl asked, sniffling quietly.

"I was hoping you could help me answer that question," Astrid mumbled tiredly.

Anna couldn't help but think how hard this must've been on Astrid. Astrid had known Elsa's mom much better than Anna. She'd lost a mother figure, that much was sure. However, Astrid had been much quicker to come to terms with the inevitable death of Mrs. Christianson than Elsa. Astrid had most likely already done her grieving. The sorrow surely still lingered, but it was clear that it hadn't hit her as hard as it might hit Elsa.

"Well, we definitely have to tell her. Soon."

There was bravery in Anna's voice. She'd dug it out from its hiding. She'd saved it for this very moment. Now she had to be brave for Elsa.

"I'll come over before she wakes up. I think I should be the one to tell her," Astrid stated.

"I think so too," Anna agreed, because somehow, she felt as if Astrid had the right to be the one delivering such news more than she had. She'd been a part of this for longer.

But how was this going to affect their lives? Mrs. Christianson was the last living family member Elsa had, apart from her father. Elsa simply didn't have anyone else. That was it. She was the end of the Christianson bloodline. In a way, Elsa was all alone in the world. And yet, she wasn't. Not at all. She had a family, a family in Anna. A family in Astrid. Nothing could replace what Elsa had lost, but this was the closest she was ever going to get.

"Alright, it's settled then," Astrid said as if they were closing a business deal. She cleared her throat once. Anna could sense the pain in her voice. But she didn't mention it. "By the way, I'm planning on talking to Elsa about starting AA meetings again, or maybe even therapy."

"Do you really think that's necessary? I mean, I don't think we should just presume that she's going to fall back into her old habits," Anna worried.

In reality, Anna was quite relieved that Astrid was planning on having that conversation with Elsa. She didn't want to admit it, but she was actually worried that Elsa might fall back on the wrong track. However, she wanted to see the best in Elsa, she wanted to believe in her, despite what her worried mind tried to tell her.

"Anna…" the other woman said in a sad voice, "I'm sorry to say this, but Elsa isn't always as strong as we like to think. Sure, she's much stronger than she ever was, but this is a heavy blow even for people who haven't had it nearly as rough as her. I won't take any risks. She's too important. I think it's a good safety-measure."

Astrid had a point. There was no harm done by talking to Elsa about therapy or AA meetings. Perhaps Elsa might feel a slight jab of mistrust, but in the end, it was for her own good.

"Okay then. Talk to her about it," the redhead caved.

"Thank you," she whispered, "I'll see you soon."

They hung up.

Anna was left with a crushing feeling of sorrow. She wondered how life could be so cruel. She wondered if this dolour and suffering would ever stop. When could they let their guards down and just enjoy having found each other again? Would Elsa ever be the same after this? Anna hoped this would be the end of the many years of misery Elsa had been pulled through. And with every end, was a new beginning.

She clenched her hand over her heart. The loud tumult inside of her head wasn't helping. The thoughts of the newly cut wounds in her girlfriend's poor soul were too loud to endure. Therefore, she left her phone on the kitchen counter, wrapped her bathrobe tighter around herself, and walked barefoot back into the bedroom.

Elsa was still sound asleep. There was a distinct sensation of peace on the blonde's features. Her lips were slightly parted as she was resting on her side. Soundlessly, Anna curled up behind her girlfriend. Her dainty fingers caressed Elsa's naked shoulder, yet she was careful not to wake the woman.

"I love you, Els," she whispered soothingly, "you'll get through this too."

Gently she leaned over and kissed the woman's cheek.

At seven am, they heard a knock at the door.

Anna nearly cried when Elsa went to open up for Astrid, unaware of what awaited her on the other side.

* * *

The sky was clear, only a few puffy white clouds stained the heavens, ruining the impeccable image. The grass was wet from the night's rain and the brown leafs were scattered across the ground like a blanket of melting snow. The wind was rattling the branches of the naked trees that were soon ready to sprout again.

A looming sadness hovered over the tiny assemble of people gathered around the coffin. All were dressed in black, most wearing a light jacket to keep the chill from stealing their heat. Most people were looking to the ground to pay their respects. Most people. Not everyone. Not Elsa.

Elsa was looking at the sky.

She didn't exactly believe in the whole 'from ashes to ashes, dust to dust' mantra.

She was looking at the sky and wondering where her mother was now. Where had she gone? Would they ever meet again? Those were questions Elsa only dared asking this once. She allowed herself to think about those questions, _only_ this once. And then she had to leave them be, or else she could spend the rest of her life wondering.

She looked beautiful as she stood there, Anna's arm hooked through hers. Her pale marble skin contrasted so delightfully against her black overcoat. Her eyes looked as deep as the ocean, and were as clear as the sky that day. She wore her hair in a bun. Just like her mother used to. It was her way of honouring her. Although, she would never forget how her mom once told her how beautiful she looked with her hair braided over her shoulder.

Everyone was standing with a blood red rose in their grasp. Everyone was waiting to place it on the coffin as it was lowered into the ground. Everyone was waiting for discovering what life would be like now, because life went on, even if you weren't ready to go with it. Elsa surely wasn't ready yet. It amazed her how the world could just keep spinning, while her own world had stopped. It wasn't fair, she thought. It wasn't fair that a person could have such impact on your life and then suddenly just… not be here anymore.

Anna kept telling her that she _was_ still here. She kept telling Elsa that her mother would never truly leave her, and Elsa thought that that much was true. Elsa could feel her, she could feel the ache that her mother left in her heart, along with the love that people were now trying to fill.

The ceremony was beautiful. Elsa said a few words, but only a few. She wasn't truly present while she spoke, her mind was elsewhere. It was somewhere in the clouds, because she wished she could find her mother up there somewhere and just tell her she loved her one last time. But her mother knew how much Elsa loved her. There was no doubt in the blonde's mind that she knew.

Astrid was next. She uttered a few loving things about her second mother, and squeezed Elsa's shoulder the moment she was done. A silent indicator that they were in this together.

Anna squeezed her girlfriend's hand as they lowered the coffin. The redhead wasn't afraid to let the tears silently roll down her cheeks. Not like Elsa. Elsa didn't cry once during the ceremony. She didn't like to do that in front of others. Besides, Elsa had cried enough in solitude to make up for the lack of tears during the funeral.

Astrid leaned against Kristoff, and he wrapped a protective arm around her. Tiana was crying subtly, holding her husband's hand to numb the pain as she said goodbye to her friend. Mr. and Mrs. Albright stood in the back, both having tear-stained eyes. Sven was holding hands with Marie and Merida. There were a few other faces that Elsa recognized. There was the cashier from the local grocery store her mom always used to shop at. Elsa couldn't believe he remembered her mom, but he'd come to pay his respects. Then there was her mother's old boss. She didn't say much and left as soon as the ceremony was over, but it still moved Elsa to see how her mother had touched so many lives.

The ceremony was over and Tiana had offered that they'd all go back to _Le Petit Chéri_ for a few drinks. More and more left, and soon, only Anna and Elsa remained. The blonde was losing a staring match with the gravestone that had her mother's name engraved on it.

"I miss her," Elsa quietly said.

It was odd how missing her felt different now. All Elsa had been left with for years was a Sunday meeting with a hospital bed. Yet, somehow that numbed some of the pain. Just knowing her mother was still breathing was enough to kill the heartbreaking feeling of missing someone too much. Perhaps it had been the minuscule spark of hope that her mom could wake up.

She felt Anna pull herself closer to her, leaning up against her carefully.

"I know you do, love. I miss her too," her girlfriend spoke gently. "She would've been so proud of you, Els."

Anna knew her words wouldn't take away the pain. But Elsa needed to hear them anyway. "I'm proud of you too," she said.

Elsa turned her head to look at her girlfriend. There was a sad smile lingering on her lips. Anna caressed her cheek, pulling her down for a soft tender kiss. The wind caught their coats, the leafs were dancing around in circles with the breeze. Birds were singing to the dancing leafs, chanting a sweet lullaby to the dead.

There was more to life than death. Anna had shown Elsa that. And with Anna by her side, Elsa would keep believing it.

* * *

**A/N:** Big thanks to sedryn for betaing! Happy holidays everyone!


	28. Sundays

**Chapter 28 – Sundays**

"Hey, Bambi," Astrid called from across the conference room.

Elsa was sitting by the oval table in solitude. Her nose buried deep in a stack of files, a pen balancing between her two fingers. Occasionally, she would scribble down a few notes in a beautiful cursive.

When there was no response, Astrid snapped her fingers.

"Earth to Bambi," she hummed, finally making those sapphire blue orbs look up from the never-ending pile of work. "Are you alright?" her friend worried.

Elsa blinked a few times while shaking her head quickly from side to side. Her eyes were distant.

"Yeah, I was just… I guess I was just lost in work. Did you need something?" the taller woman asked, her voice adapting a professional streak.

"I was just wondering what you were doing here," Astrid uttered honestly.

There was something in the way Astrid said it that made Elsa look at her friend again with more attention this time. They stared at each other for a moment. Elsa wondered what was really going on. Why was Astrid even here? It was a Sunday afternoon, normally the building was deserted.

"There was something wrong with the insurance papers; I came here to fix it," Elsa explained, never breaking her gaze with Astrid. "What're you doing here?"

"I came here looking for you," the other woman said.

"I don't need a babysitter, Astrid."

Angrily, Elsa returned her gaze to the paperwork in front of her. Ever since her mother passed, people had been treating her as if she was a fragile glass sculpture. She was sick of it. Elsa had always dealt with grief and sorrow in a more unorthodox way. She shut down the feelings and saved them for later, when she was alone. She loaded an inhumane amount of work on herself to keep herself distracted. When she was ready, she would come out of her hiding and open up for everything that hurt her to the most trusted people in her life. At least, that was how she did things now. The last part was something Anna had taught her. Before she met Anna, Elsa simply let the hurt remain locked up until it threatened to destroy her. Now, all she needed was a little time to deal with things by herself before she dragged people into it.

Obviously, Astrid couldn't see that. She was used to having to tackle Elsa to the ground and force her to open up, crack her open like a nutshell.

Elsa knew that Astrid normally respected her wishes. Elsa also knew that Astrid had been pulled through a lot of scary and unfortunate events because of her. But Elsa needed to show her friend that she had changed. Because she truly had. All she needed was a chance to show it. Astrid didn't seem to get that. You could tell she didn't believe that Elsa would come around by herself. You could tell that Astrid still thought that Elsa needed that push off the cliff where she landed in an ocean of comfort and love. Sometimes, Astrid had pushed before Elsa was ready, making the landing rough.

"You can't blame me for being worried. You're here, _on a Sunday_, you should be at home chilling with Anna or something," her friend kept pushing.

"It's not your job to tell me where I should and shouldn't be. I appreciate the concern, but _I'm fine_," Elsa emphasized, the annoyance weighing heavily in her voice.

Astrid didn't seem convinced. Christ, what more did Elsa have to do to drill into Astrid's head that she didn't want to be interrogated right now? How could Elsa show her how far she'd come if Astrid didn't back off and let her handle things?

The frustrated woman sighed loudly and leaned back in her chair. Gently, she ran her hands through her hair.

"Is this about your mom?" she suddenly heard her friend ask.

Elsa just about had it.

"Christ, why does everything have to be about my mom?" she snapped. "I'm just behind with work, okay? I just needed to get out of the apartment, so I thought I'd come here. I'm hanging out with Anna later tonight, I even promised I'd pick up a few things on the way home."

It was clear that Astrid hadn't meant it as an accusation or an insult. She wasn't trying to rub salt into the wound, she was just a worried friend, and how could she stop worrying when she knew her best friend was hurting?

"I'm sorry," the woman uttered, "I didn't mean to offend you. It's just… it's been two weeks and you've barely said a word about her."

"I'm fine," Elsa repeated, returning to her papers.

"You don't look fine, Bambi. You've been burying yourself in work and Anna says you barely sleep."

Elsa stopped moving, her hands caught mid-motion as she was fixing the pile of files. Blonde brows came together in confusion.

"When did you and Anna start talking?" Elsa sounded displeased.

Astrid shrugged casually, finally taking a seat next to her friend by the oval table.

"We talk occasionally. We're worried about you," she explained.

It came as a surprise to Astrid how intensely Elsa reacted. Her jaw flexed, her hands curled together and her stare was fixated onto nothing.

"You know," the blonde woman started, "I thought we were friends. I didn't think you would ever go behind my back like that."

Astrid's blue eyes became wide with shock. Her mouth hung slightly open in disbelief. It had never been her intention to go behind Elsa's back.

"Don't ever say that. I would never go behind your back. It's not going behind your back talking to your girlfriend about how you are. I'm being a friend here," Astrid pressed.

How did they get here? The two normally had nothing but love for each other, but recently, their tempers had been grinding against each other. The truth was that Elsa would die without Astrid. The same went for Astrid. Yet, they seemed so distant. Further away from each other than ever.

They were both struggling with what to say to each other. There was a maddening silence stuck in-between them.

"I know," Elsa mumbled quietly. "I know, I'm sorry," she apologized. "But I need space, Astrid. I'm tired of having you two hovering over me just waiting for me to slip up."

There was a heavy truth to her words. Astrid knew Elsa hadn't had it easy since her mother's death. She wanted to give her friend space. But she'd done that one time before, and that resulted in finding Elsa drunk beyond compare on the floor of her apartment. She'd given Elsa the space she'd asked for, but finding her best friend unconscious on the floor, intoxicated to the point of near poisoning, made her wary of giving Elsa space in the future. She couldn't relive that again. It had been too scary, too hurtful. She'd promised herself that that would never happen again after she'd sent Elsa to rehab.

"We're not waiting for anything," Astrid persisted.

The sound of Elsa's fists slamming against the table made Astrid jump. The taller woman stood up now, teeth gritted in an enraged expression.

"But it feels like it!" she hissed. "With the AA meetings and the babysitting! Please, Astrid! Just give some room to breathe, you have to trust me!" she begged.

There was pleading in her eyes. She couldn't take it anymore. Elsa was almost at her breaking point. She'd tried ignoring it, knowing that her girlfriend and friend just wanted the best for her. But no. No more.

Elsa had even said she would think about starting AA meetings again. In reality, it would only be for Astrid and Anna's sake. They were so worried, and Elsa thought that by agreeing to starting AA meetings again, it would calm them down for a bit. She'd immediately shot the therapy suggestion down. She couldn't imagine anything worse than a one-on-one session with someone who was trying to pry into her life and link all her childhood history to how she'd turned out today. That was something she'd rather spare herself from.

"Okay, okay, please calm down," Astrid tried, slowly getting up from her seat. "I'm sorry, Els. I just don't know what to do anymore…" the girl explained. Her voice was laced with sadness, and her eyes dropped to the floor. "I'm just so scared something will happen to you. I couldn't live with myself if you had to go through everything again."

Her fists unclenched, her jaw relaxed and she took a deep breath. They both sat down again.

"I won't have to. I'm _fine_, Astrid. I just need a little time. I appreciate that you're looking out for me, but this is suffocating."

"Okay. I'll give you your space. Just promise-"

"I promise," Elsa said sternly, already knowing what Astrid wanted her to promise.

The two friends had nothing more to talk about. They both needed to cool off, so Astrid left, hugging Elsa tightly before she went.

The war inside Elsa had started again. The feeling she thought she'd escaped was back. She thought that that feeling would never return after she'd said goodbye to her father. But now it had, and it was a horrible feeling, and she wanted to be rid of it, but she _just didn't know how_! She needed to talk with someone about this feeling. She needed to talk about it to get rid of it. But with whom? Whom could she discuss this with? Not Astrid. Not Anna. Not Kristoff. Not Tiana. Not anyone. This was too much, this was too hard, this wasn't fair at all. Everything was going so well, why did it all have to crash now?

Elsa packed her things and stalked out of the building. It felt like she was suddenly too small for her body, something inside of her was too large to fit. She wanted to scream, run, hide, punch something, and yet, in the end, what would probably only truly help would be Anna's comforting embrace. Her girlfriend's arms couldn't fix everything though. Elsa needed a permanent solution, because this was only a temporary problem, she knew that. She needed something to fight off her demons with and she needed it now.

The streets were roaming with people. It was awful how lonely you could feel with so many people around you. It was awful how the lack of merely one person on this planet could have such devastating impact.

She had a mission. Anna's grocery list. She was determined to focus on that. Milk. Juice. Apples. Coffee. She focused on those four items. They repeated in her mind. She tore the words apart and reassembled them again. Coffee. Apples. Juice. Milk. They helped her target her thoughts on what was real. Anna was real. Astrid was real. Apples were real. Milk was real. With deep breathes, she walked towards the grocery store. She passed the library. The church. Then the travel agency. Finally, the grocery store.

But she couldn't walk in.

Elsa stood outside the store for a long time.

Then she walked back and tried again.

* * *

Anna was pacing the living room floor. The food was on the stove – it had been for more than an hour. She'd given up on a warm meal. She checked the time again. She sighed once, took a few steps forward, and then checked it one more time.

Her braids were undone, her hands had run through her hair so many times by now that there was no point in trying to save them.

The front door creaked open, and Elsa quietly walked in, heading straight for the bedroom. Anna's jaw nearly hit the floor as Elsa entered without acknowledging her. The redhead could hardly believe her own eyes. Elsa had actually just gone into the bedroom to take her coat and shirt off and change out of her work clothes.

That wouldn't do it for Anna. The younger woman had been waiting too long for Elsa's sorry ass to be ignored like that. Without hesitation, and with murder in her eyes, she followed Elsa to the bedroom.

"Where have you been?! I've been calling you for hours!" she barked angrily.

Anna was fuming. How could Elsa just stand there, looking as innocent as a lamb, as if she had no idea what Anna was talking about?

"Nowhere," the blonde said quietly, her voice light and confused.

The redhead's fists were clenched, trembling lightly by her sides. However, Anna's anger didn't seem to make any impact. It was as if her anger hit a wall, just like a radio wave that was blocked or didn't reach far enough. Her anger only reached halfway across the room, and then fell flat onto the floor, squirming in agony on the carpet for the lack of a recipient.

"You scared the shit out of me! I thought something had happened to you!" Anna hissed, her arms flaring furiously in the air.

"I'm sorry," the older girl mumbled, pulling a sweater over her head.

That didn't cut it. Not even remotely. Anna needed to know what was going on. Why hadn't Elsa called to say she was running late? Why'd her phone gone straight to voicemail? Elsa acted confused. She seemed overwhelmed, somehow. Maybe if Anna tried a different approach, she could get the answers she needed. She wasn't going to be that girlfriend. The girlfriend that was quick to be suspicious just because her partner was late one night. Anna wasn't the jealous type. She'd already established that Elsa would never cheat on her. This, however, this seemed different. There was more to it than just Elsa being late. Something was off. It didn't make sense.

Carefully, she took a few steps forward. Then she took Elsa's hands in hers and looked her deep in the eye.

"Elsa, where have you been?" she asked worriedly, feeling, for some reason, that tears were starting to well in her eyes. "You were supposed to be here hours ago. Did you even get the milk?"

Elsa's gaze dropped to the floor and she shook her head lightly.

"No, I'm sorry," the blonde apologized.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Anna pressed, trying to catch Elsa's eyes once again.

"Nothing, I'm fine. I just got caught up at work," she said innocently.

"But why didn't you answer your phone? I've been waiting for you for hours," the anger was suppressed, yet Anna could feel it rest dangerously close to the surface, ready to jump out at Elsa like an angry tigress waiting for its prey.

"I'm sorry, I must've lost track of time," the older woman stated.

Elsa was lying, Anna could tell. Because Elsa never lost track of time. She was too organized, too orderly, and too systematic to make such rookie mistakes. Ever since they met in high school, Elsa had been punctual. Never once was she late to one of their dates.

"Why are you lying to me?" the redhead asked, hurt evident in her voice. Elsa's eyes widened in shock.

"Anna, I'm not-"

"Please, just tell me the truth!" Anna yelled and dropped Elsa's hands as if they were scolding hot.

The blonde took a step back, annoyed that her excuses hadn't worked and Anna saw through her, like always. For once, she just wished that Anna couldn't tell every damn time something was bothering Elsa. For once, she just wished that she wasn't as see-through as Anna made her seem. She'd never been much of a liar, not when it came to Anna. Lying only worked in high school, when Anna was naïve enough to believe whatever Elsa was promising.

It was Elsa's turn to curl her hands into fists, clutching close to her sides.

"I can't, Anna!" the other woman suddenly shouted, her eyes wide and manic with hurt and anger. "It's Sunday and I can't deal with it, okay?! It's Sunday, and I miss her, and I don't know what to do, and I just wish that this didn't have to be so damn hard…" with that, she sank to the floor, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks in heavy streams.

After Anna had recovered from the shock of Elsa's outburst, she didn't hesitate in sinking down onto the floor with Elsa and wrap her in her arms.

For the first time since before the funeral, Elsa cried. Believe it or not, but Anna took it as good sign. Elsa's shoulders shook, her hands trembled and the tears wouldn't stop coming. The redhead tried her best to heave Elsa off the floor and drag her to the bed. If Elsa was going to have a good long cry, she might as well be comfortable.

She'd feared it would be like this. That Elsa's Sundays would now feel different, emptier than they already were before. Anna knew it wasn't a gap she would be able to fill – there were six more days in a week, she had her hands full already. Anna quickly shook the thought out of her head. It made it sound like it was a burden being with Elsa – that she had to be her anchor every damn day of the week. That wasn't true. There were nights where Elsa had to hold her in her arms all night after a particularly bad nightmare. There were days where she was frustrated beyond belief about work and Elsa gave her foot rubs or prepared a hot bath for her. They were getting good at the giving and receiving parts of being in a relationship.

Finally, Elsa had calmed down. Anna stroked her hair. She kissed the top of her head once.

"Elsa, I love you, but don't ever do this to me again," the redhead whispered gently to her girlfriend, "I thought something terrible had happened to you. You don't have to tell me where you go, but I just need to know that you're safe."

Elsa nearly sat up. She raised herself on her elbow to look Anna in the eye.

"You don't need to know?" she breathed, stunned by what her girlfriend had just said.

"No, I trust you," the younger girl spoke earnestly. "You'll tell me when you're ready. But just let me know that you're okay."

Elsa's eyes dropped in shame. She hated that she'd scared Anna. If the roles had been reversed, Elsa would surely have reacted the same way. Perhaps even worse. Perhaps Elsa would even had sent out a search-party for her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"I know you didn't," Anna said with a gentle smile, "but you don't know how lost I would be without you. If I ever lost you…" the words ran out.

"That won't happen. I'm here, and I'm yours," the blonde assured her.

Elsa settled back into Anna's arms. They fell asleep like that, forgetting everything about dinner.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to sedryn for betaing :)


	29. Talking to the Moon

**Chapter 29 – Talking to the Moon**

Time passed, and life moved on.

Elsa kept disappearing on Sundays. For a few hours, she was just gone. As if she had just evaporated, like the morning dew on the flowers slowly killed by the suns warmth. On Sundays, Elsa was in another world, and no one knew where she went. Not even Anna. She'd kept her promise. She didn't need to know where Elsa went, she just needed to know that she was safe. Anna didn't ask her where she went. She didn't want to pry. Elsa had just said that she could trust her, and Anna did just that. She had never given the redhead reason not to trust her since they started dating. Why would she start doubting her girlfriend now? All Anna requested was that Elsa at least would answer her phone, or call her back just so she knew she shouldn't worry.

Elsa fought bravely to keep the grief at bay. Her Sunday disappearances helped her. Anna always noticed how relieved Elsa felt whenever she returned Sunday evening. It was easier to make the blonde smile so suddenly, Elsa was more talkative and much more present. Whatever she was doing, it was working, Anna thought. So why question it? It wasn't that she wasn't curious. Anna had considered following her girlfriend, but she knew that would be a violation of the trust the two had spent so long on building. Her hungry curiosity wasn't worth satisfying if it meant that she would lose Elsa's trust in the process.

For a long time, Anna merely thought Elsa went to the graveyard to visit her mother's stone. After a while, she knew that wasn't where Elsa went. Because Elsa would have told her if that was all. Visiting someone's tombstone was normal. Anna knew that this was much more special, and she didn't mind letting Elsa have it to herself for now. Sometimes, it was nice to have things that were just yours. Things that no one else knew about, so it could just stay with you and not risk being ruined. It could be a special place you didn't want to share, a specific book you didn't want anyone to read, or even just a song you wanted to yourself. And that was okay. Because some things only remain special to you if they're your own. And Anna understood that. She respected that.

However, Anna feared that Elsa kept this secret because she was scared of being judged. She was frightened that Elsa thought that Anna wouldn't understand, and that was why she didn't want to share this with her. But if that was the case, that was okay too. Elsa would come to her when she was ready. She just needed a little time in her hiding. She'd always been the type to test the waters before diving in.

Things had been good between them lately. There was a certain feeling of tenderness and endearment swirling between them. It was a joy for them to wake up next to each other. For Elsa, it was nice not being so alone all the time. She'd gotten used to coming home to a big, cold, empty apartment for four years. Now Anna's bright face was there every time she got home. She was greeted with excitement and love, and Anna beamed every evening Elsa walked through the front door. The blonde had almost forgotten what that felt like. To come home to someone that you loved. Someone that you could take care of, and someone who could take care of you. It finally seemed like the months and months of hard work had paid off. They were in a healthy, functioning relationship.

If someone had asked Anna in high school if she thought she would ever see Elsa Christianson again, her answer would be a definite no and perhaps accompanied by a slap to the person who dared ask her about Elsa Christianson. But here they were. Almost nine years later, and Anna was looking at Elsa with more love and adoration than she'd ever had for anyone. She was looking at the woman she was certain she was one day going to marry. They were going to have children, raise them in their home, far away from the hurt and suffering they'd both been through. Anna was positive Elsa would become a great mother. Elsa would go through fire to keep her children safe. To protect them from any harm. To keep them from ever going through what she had been through.

In other words, the couple had never been better.

Anna was there to support Elsa through the hard times, and Elsa accepted the help – she'd become much more accustomed to accepting help.

Some say people never really change. Some say that. They're wrong, at least according to Anna. Because Anna had been an astounded witness to Elsa's transition. She'd watched as Elsa, the most closed up, stubborn, fake-smiled, cold, and humour-deflecting person she knew turn into the love of her life. Suddenly, this bright-eyed woman with the gentlest, most real smile was standing before her, the same person who wrapped her in her arms at night whenever she couldn't sleep.

People did change. And sometimes for the better.

Between long walks in Central Park and late Sunday morning brunches, Anna and Elsa were moving the last of their things into their new accommodation. The place was starting to look like a real home, and both were putting their final touches on the apartment. It was finally time to show off their new place, and Anna and Elsa were preparing for their housewarming.

For once, Elsa was excited. Tiana and her husband were going to meet Anna for the first time, Sven was bringing his new boyfriend and she was going to tell Anna that she had decided to start AA meetings again for a little while.

It had been a long struggle to come to terms with. But Elsa couldn't see the harm in going to a few meetings, especially if it would make Astrid and Anna stop worrying. She didn't need it. She was in full control, she knew that. But there was no harm done by going to a place where she knew she had support.

The guests were arriving at seven, and Anna was still putting on make-up in the bathroom. Elsa had been done getting ready hours ago, and was instead setting up the snacks and champagne on the kitchen island.

Astrid and Kristoff were the first to arrive. Anna still wasn't finished yet, so Kristoff helped Elsa out by helping her carry the extra chairs from Marie and Merida's apartment.

Meanwhile, Astrid went to check on Anna. The two hadn't exactly grown close, but surely they had a common interest that had brought them closer. Elsa.

The blonde walked up to the open bathroom door, her shoulder rested against the doorframe. Her arms were crossed over chest, and she patiently waited for Anna to notice her. Anna was too busy applying mascara to pay the person by the door any mind.

"Looking good," Astrid commented, and Anna quickly shot her gaze towards the woman leaning against the doorframe.

"Thanks," the redhead responded, smiling shyly, "you look good too."

Astrid merely nodded. She'd never been good at taking a compliment.

For a few moments, Astrid just stood there. Anna wasn't sure of what to do, it looked like Astrid wanted something. But when the blonde didn't say anything, she simply went back to applying mascara.

"You want to know where Elsa goes on Sundays, don't you?" Anna asked knowingly.

"Yes," the blonde answered.

The redhead had to fight a sigh. This conversation shouldn't be taking place. Mostly, because Elsa had expressed her discomfort with her girlfriend and her best friend talking about her when she wasn't around. But also because they were talking about Elsa as if she were a kid.

"I trust her, Astrid. You should too," Anna spoke, running the lipstick over her bottom lip.

It was ironic in a sense. Just a few weeks ago, Anna felt like she had had the exact same conversation with Merida. A conversation which ended with Merida begging Anna to trust her girlfriend. To show her that she had faith in her, and that she believed in her, because that was what trust required. Now it was Astrid's turn.

"I do trust her," the blonde argued.

"Obviously you don't, or else you wouldn't be asking me this," the redhead shot back, never tearing her eyes off of the lipstick running over her lips. Finally, she smacked her lips together and admired her work in the mirror.

"I'm just worried about her," Astrid continued.

Anna couldn't fight the sigh any longer. Her shoulders dropped as she exhaled a loud breath of air. Then she turned towards the blonde, leaned her hip against the edge of the sink and put a hand in her side.

"Look, I'm worried too. I'll always worry about Elsa. I love her, and I'm scared to death of losing her. But this needs to stop. Elsa is sober. She's doing _well_. She's grieving, yes, but that's normal. You need to back off."

Anna could hardly believe what she'd just said. She'd sounded so strong and confident. She hadn't even stuttered or stumbled over the words. The arms resting over Astrid's chest tightened their grip. She smiled arrogantly, and her jaw flexed.

"Listen, I know you want the best for her. I'm happy you two have found each other," Astrid began, her eyes growing sad and angry, "but you didn't find her. You didn't find her on the floor unconscious in a pool of vomit. You didn't have your best friend hate you for three weeks for sending her to rehab. You didn't drop her off and pick her up at every AA meeting for five months. You didn't spend every other Sunday by the hospital bed with your best friend breaking into pieces next to you."

There were tears in Astrid's eyes. She didn't let them spill. She was too proud to allow that to happen in front of Anna. So instead she let her arms drop to her sides and curled her hands into fists.

The words had left Anna stunned and taken aback. The pain in Astrid's eyes were too genuine, too real, to be ignored. Elsa hadn't been the only one suffering. Astrid had been suffering just by watching. And yet, she'd never left Elsa's side. She'd been by her side, steadfast, every step of the way. It was true what they said. Some heroes didn't wear capes. But Astrid surely deserved one.

Very gently, Anna put a hand on Astrid's shoulder. With eyebrows knitted together and her big teal eyes looking at her, Anna tried to give the blonde a grateful smile.

"You're a really good friend, Astrid," she whispered. "I can't thank you enough for what you've done. But you need to understand that things have changed now. Elsa has me too now. She's… different. A good different."

They both fell quiet for a few seconds. Anna's hand never left Astrid's shoulder. Blue eyes dropped to the floor. Astrid wasn't sure of what to say. She felt like she was doing the right thing. There was this instinct inside of her that she couldn't turn off. She cared too much about her friend. How could caring too much be a bad thing?

"I know she's different…" the blonde mumbled. "But I'm scared it won't last."

"Of course it'll last. Have you met Elsa? She's a fighter. And she's doing well. Really, really well."

"I know."

"Then why are you obsessing over this?" the redhead asked gently.

The older girl shrugged. Perhaps Astrid was merely afraid that Elsa didn't need her anymore. Apparently, Elsa could take care of herself now. She had Anna now as well. So where did Astrid even fit in anymore? Maybe this wasn't just Elsa going through a transition. Maybe she was going through one too, Astrid realized. For the first time, Astrid had found someone to settle down with. She and Kristoff were going steady, and perhaps that scared her a little. Elsa didn't need her the same way anymore, and perhaps that contributed to the fear that was already spiking by being with Kristoff. Things had changed. Changed a lot. And Elsa wasn't the only one who had to get used to it.

Anna tried to catch the blonde's eyes.

"Look, things will be okay. Let's just have a fun night, enjoy ourselves and appreciate how far we've come," the redhead said with a smile. "And you really do look great tonight."

Astrid nodded silently, trying to return the smile.

"Thanks," the older girl replied.

Together the two left the bathroom to go help Kristoff and Elsa set up. Shortly after, the remainder of the guests arrived. Merida quickly found her way to the snack table with Kristoff. Marie, Sven and his new boyfriend were all standing with a glass of champagne in their hands, laughing at some naughty joke Marie had told. Anna was finally introduced to Tiana and her husband, Naveen.

Elsa noticed the grateful spark in Tiana's eye as she shook hands with Anna. It had been a long time coming. Tiana was proud of her, Elsa could tell.

As the evening progressed, the feeling of love and closeness filled Elsa to the brim. She wasn't sure whether it was the kisses she occasionally received from Anna every time she passed her, or the hug Tiana wrapped her in later upon the night, or the way Sven gently squeezed her shoulder as they were standing talking by the couches. For moment, she looked upon the room, a room full of people who cared for her. A room full of people she knew would come to her aid if she was ever in need. The sight nearly made her tear up. She never thought she would get there. So when she saw her window, Elsa raised her glass in the air and proposed a toast. A toast to her mom.

Everyone raised their glasses in honor of Mrs. Christianson. They all drank to the woman who couldn't be here tonight.

But she was there.

She was there in the tiny pocket of Elsa's heart. There she was, right next to Anna. And there should would stay. Forever.

* * *

It was Sunday morning. Elsa woke up early to make breakfast for both of them. She made omelettes. And they tasted delicious. They'd discussed the AA meetings over breakfast. Elsa had been too caught up in the festivities last night that she'd entirely forgotten to mention it to Anna. The redhead had smiled the moment Elsa brought it up. She said that she thought it was a wonderful idea, but at the same time she didn't want Elsa to do something she didn't want to. The blonde simply squeezed her girlfriend's hand and smiled in response.

Elsa cleared the table after breakfast, as Anna frantically ran around the living room looking for her keys. She was braiding her hair while she was searching, and she was only wearing one shoe. Elsa watched her with amusement, leaning against the back of the couch. She was holding Anna's other shoe, having it ready for when she finally realized one was missing.

Anna had a board meeting at the office today, which was why their Sunday brunch turned into Elsa making omelettes. The keys turned up at last, and Anna only then realized she was missing a shoe. Elsa waved it teasingly at her, and would only give it up if she got a kiss in return. Their lips quickly locked in a sweet, gentle kiss. Carefully, Elsa held Anna's hand to keep her balance as she was putting on her shoe.

"Have a good day. I love you," the blonde said and kissed her lover on the cheek.

"Love you too," Anna smiled and headed for the door.

But Elsa didn't let Anna's hand go, and with a smooth jerk of her arm, she pulled Anna to her and dipped her while placing a long soft kiss to her lips.

Anna chuckled, her braids hung only inches above the floor.

"Els, I don't have time for this, I have to go to work," she giggled.

Elsa didn't let Anna's protests bother her. Her lips merely travelled all the way down her girlfriend's neck until she reached her collarbone. Anna hopelessly tried to push Elsa off, but could do nothing from the position Elsa held her in.

"But Ms. Albright, I can't let you go without another kiss," the blonde teased.

"I'll make up for it when I get home," the redhead said with a seductive wink.

A light blush spread across Elsa's features, and finally she let Anna go. The redhead waved over her shoulder as she walked out the door. The moment the door closed, Elsa slumped down on the couch. She was still in her sweats. She wore one of Anna's tank tops, but it was a tad too small for her.

The Frost &amp; Co. project was done. _Christianson &amp; Hofferson_'s assistance was no longer required, and it was their time to move on. Astrid had already booked their next job and they were starting next week.

It was sunny outside, the light shone through the large windows in the living room. The breeze blowing in through the window was crisp. Elsa spent some time looking through a few cook books. In there, she found a few recipes she thought would be nice to surprise Anna with.

The day progresses slowly, and Elsa found it calming that there wasn't a massive stack of paperwork waiting for her at her desk. For once, she had a day to do absolutely nothing.

And yet, it was Sunday.

She felt the slight ache in her stomach, she felt her mother's spirit stir slightly in the pocket of her heart. So as the clock stroke five, Elsa got dressed. She left a note for Anna on the kitchen counter. It said, "_I'll be back for dinner. I love you._"

With that, Elsa walked out the front door. She wrapped her coat tightly around herself. The streets were full of life. Soon she was passing by the grocery store. Then the travel agency. And finally the church.

Carefully, Elsa pushed open the old wooden door to the cathedral. She was always hesitant about going in. She knew she didn't belong there. However, there was something pulling her inside. Something she couldn't explain.

The walls were made of solid stone bricks. The floor was carpeted, the navy blue colour making it look like a massive ocean beneath her feet. Only a few other people quietly sat on the rows and rows of benches.

Delicately, Elsa walked down the altar until she found her seat. The moment she sat down, she looked towards the ceiling. Everything inside of the church was so beautiful. Large golden chandeliers hung from the ceiling, the benches were hand carved out of the finest wood, and if she looked far enough, she could see the bronze bells above her head.

There Elsa had sat every Sunday since her mother passed away. Elsa wasn't religious. But somehow, this just felt like the place to be. The place where she thought her mother would hear her if she was listening. She came here to talk to her mom. Tell her the things she never got a chance to tell her. Someday, Elsa maybe didn't need to come here anymore to talk to her. Because one day, Elsa would run out of things to say. But there was so much Elsa needed to tell her mom that had happened over the last four years. The times she'd talked to her by her bedside didn't count. They didn't count because Elsa wasn't sure whether she could hear her. For some reason, she was surer now that her mom was listening.

Elsa wasn't sure whom she was talking to. Perhaps she was talking to a God, perhaps she was talking to the moon. All she knew was that no matter whom she was talking to, they would deliver her message to her mom.

"So this is where you go whenever you disappear," she heard someone whisper behind her.

Elsa turned around, her eyes wide as she noticed Astrid sitting on the bench behind her.

"Astrid? What're you doing here?" she asked quietly.

"I followed you…" Astrid admitted. "I'm sorry, Bambi. I know I shouldn't have done that. I should've believed you when you said you were fine. I should've listened to Anna and just left you alone."

Elsa wasn't angry. She wasn't angry because perhaps this had been the chance to show Astrid how far she'd come. Perhaps, from now on, Astrid would believe her.

"It's alright… I guess I should've just told you. I just wasn't sure of what to say," Elsa had to admit. "I mean, I know that you're an atheist. The closest thing you'll ever come to believing in God would be Odin or Thor or something."

Astrid snickered lightly, careful not to make too much noise. No one seemed to notice them. Everyone else was too caught up in their own prayers.

"I'd never judge you, you dummy. I wouldn't care if you would suddenly go to church," her friend chuckled and flicked Elsa across the forehead with her finger.

Elsa couldn't help but smile faintly as she rubbed her forehead.

Astrid moved up to sit next to Elsa. In silence they sat and enjoyed the sensation of feeling so small. The feeling over a higher power roaming somewhere within these walls.

Elsa had known that one day Astrid would follow her. It was just a matter of time. She was surprised it hadn't happened sooner. Astrid was a curious creature. Never did she let anything go unexplored, not if she could help it. That was just how she was. Astrid was the type of person who would follow a dragon into its cave instead of running away from it.

With a pair of apologetic eyes, Astrid looked at Elsa. Gently, she cleared her throat.

"I promise to trust you from now on. It's just… old habits die hard. You've come a long way. I see that now," Astrid had never been the type to admit to her faults. "I'm proud of you, Bambi. More than you know."

* * *

**A/N:** One last chapter to go guys :) Big thanks to sedryn and valathe for helping me with this chapter :)


	30. Peace & Forgiveness

**Chapter 30 – Peace &amp; Forgiveness**

Elsa was late. She was never late. But today she was. She was late because someone had dropped their wallet and she'd had to run all the way down the block to return it to its rightful owner. The woman was thankful, and Elsa merely smiled in return.

With quick long strides, Elsa hurried down the street. Finally, she made it to the building where she hastily walked inside. The meeting had already started, so she just kept her head down and took her seat in silence.

"Alright, so today we're welcoming a new member," the discussion leader spoke, "would you like to introduce yourself to the group, Daniel?" she asked.

Elsa was busy trying to smooth out her pants. She'd been running so fast her braid was starting to become undone, and she was quietly fixing it. She heard a man clear his throat, while she remained transfixed on the loose ends of her braid.

"Hi. My name is Daniel and I'm an alcoholic," the man spoke.

Elsa's hands stopped what they were doing. That voice. She'd heard that voice before. She looked up. Her eyes widened by the sight.

There he sat. His auburn red hair and emerald green eyes. The pointy nose and the defined jawline were unmistakable.

It was Hans.

He looked so small. The moment Hans saw Elsa, he froze. There was genuine sadness and guilt displaying on his features. He turned pale. The fear on his face was evident. He was afraid she'd tell the group his real name. He was afraid that it would get out that the heir to the Southern Industries was an alcoholic. He feared that the truth would seep out, and not just like a slow fog invading a forest, but like a massive explosion burning down every tree in that forest. The media would eat him alive if they got their filthy hands on the truth. Something Elsa had to admit she wouldn't mind. She wouldn't mind seeing Hans suffer, she wouldn't mind that if the world would know what kind of a person Hans truly was.

And yet, something inside of Elsa convinced her not to utter a word. The begging in his green eyes made Elsa bite her tongue. The bloodlust inside of her was gone. She wasn't lusting for his pain any longer. Not when he was sitting there, like a scared, guilt-plagued kid whose chair was too big for him.

So Elsa kept her mouth shut. She listened intently as Hans told his story. Only she knew the truth, and she could tell whenever he was twisting his tale so that he wasn't Hans of the Southern Industries, but Daniel, the neglected son who had been forced to walk in his father's footsteps. Daniel, the boy who was hated by all of his brothers, and whose mother wanted nothing to do with him since he was born. Daniel, who started drinking when he was fourteen, because one day after school, everything had been too much.

Elsa merely listened. And by the end, she found herself feeling a little sorry for Hans.

The moment the meeting was over, people slowly left the room. Hans stayed behind. He didn't leave his seat. Neither did Elsa. The two looked at each other for a long time. He was frowning. He looked lost. Uncomfortable.

Then he got up. He wiped his sweaty palms in his jeans. He didn't stop until he was standing right before Elsa.

"Hans," she greeted, still a tad perplexed by his presence.

"Elsa. I, um. Hi," he mumbled, suddenly finding it difficult to speak. He swallowed the lump stuck in his throat and rubbed the back of his neck with his palm. "Look, I didn't know you came here. If I'd known, I wouldn't have come. I'm sorry, I didn't come here to stir things up."

That was the first time she'd heard an apology leave his mouth. She didn't even know that 'sorry' was part of his vocabulary until now. Hans was looking more human that she'd ever seen him. It just came to show that there actually was a real person behind the horrible façade.

"I'm not looking for trouble," the blonde assured.

Hans looked around nervously. He couldn't decide which foot to stand on, so he was swaying a little from side to side.

"Good. I, erm, I'm thankful that you didn't tell them my real name. I can't have anyone know that the heir of the Southern Industries is an alcoholic. But… it was time to get help. I've been sober for three months now."

She never knew he could be this humble. This honest. It was like talking to a completely different person.

"Good for you," the blonde responded with a nod.

Hans finally couldn't take it anymore. With a heavy sigh, he sat down next to Elsa.

"Look, Elsa…" he began, his knee bouncing nervously. "I know nothing that I can ever say can make up for what I've done. But you need to know that I'm sorry. I regret what I've done. How I've acted. I was in a very bad place for a long, long time. But now… now I'm here. I'm starting over. Sober."

There was the apology she'd been longing to hear. The humanity she'd been longing to see.

"I'm so sorry, Elsa. For everything," he said, and his eyes were glistering.

Elsa would never like Hans. He could never make up for what he had done. She wanted nothing to do with him, ever. She still hated him. She would hate him forever. But Hans was another living proof that people did change. That they could try again, and try harder. That they could try to make up for what they'd done. And that's why she heard herself say something she never thought she'd say.

"I forgive you," she said, because that was what her mother would have wanted. And that was what she wanted.

She had to let go. That was the only way she could find peace. Tiana and Anna had been right. This vendetta would consume the rest of her life. It would steal precious time away from Anna. From her friends. From the kids they were going to have some day.

And that wasn't worth it.

That would never be worth it.

It would result in a life of bitterness. Of hate. Going down the slope of revenge could consume you.

So she had to forgive Hans. Just like she had had to forgive her dad.

The look on his face was a look of pure shock. Those weren't the word he'd been expecting to hear. A tear rolled down his cheek. He said thank you. He said that he would try his best this time. With that, Hans left, and Elsa would never see him again.

She walked out on the street and began her walk home. The sun peaked out through the layer of clouds. The warm beams hit her face as she walked down the street, hands in her pockets, smile on her lips and a feeling of lightness inside of her.

* * *

The bathroom smelled like lavender. The bubbles on the water made a foggy cover on the surface, hiding their naked bodies beneath its clouds of soap. In the corner, the bathroom radio was playing sweet tunes. _Chasing Cars_ came on occasionally and Anna hummed along. Elsa merely listened, holding Anna in her protective embrace. The redhead had a nice voice. She found herself getting lost in Anna's soothing hum. Her lips occasionally came to rest on her girlfriend's shoulder, placing tiny silent kisses along her neck and back.

The water was lukewarm, just like Elsa liked it. Anna thought it was a little cold, but that only gave Elsa more reason to press her body closer against her.

"What about Amsterdam?" the blonde suggested, her chin resting upon Anna's shoulder.

The younger girl was situated between her girlfriend's legs. The tub was large enough to hold them both. The space might have been a bit crammed, but neither of them minded. Anna's back was pressed against Elsa's naked front, and Elsa's pale strong arms wrapped around her freckled torso. The back of Anna's head rested against Elsa's collarbone. The dancing flames from the candles around them casted their shadows against the wall.

"Isn't it cold there?" the redhead wondered.

"Not during the summer," Elsa snickered, planting another kiss by Anna's earlobe.

The redhead was drawing circles with her fingertip on Elsa's knee. She was admiring her long pale legs, so perfect and toned. Her touch made goosebumps rise on the blonde's body. The reaction made her smile.

"Is it romantic?" Anna wanted to know, as she continued to draw small patterns onto Elsa's skin.

"It's extremely romantic, Ms. Albright. And you know why?" the older girl snorted and nuzzled her face closer to Anna's burning hot skin.

"Why?" the redhead shuttered, suddenly very aware of Elsa's breasts pressing against her back.

"Because I'll be there," her girlfriend teased, kissing her way all the way up Anna's jawline.

The muscles in the younger girl's body relaxed with every kiss Elsa left on her skin. She was turning into mush in Elsa's arms. Her heart started to beat harder against her ribcage, her cheeks were flushed and her senses were tingling.

"F-fine. Amsterdam it is then," the redhead smirked, turning her head to kiss Elsa on the lips. "I bet the city is beautiful," she added as she pulled away again.

"It is," the blonde smiled.

Anna settled back in her comfortable spot resting her head on Elsa's collarbone. The blonde was thankful that Anna couldn't see her face at that moment, because the smile on her lips was so bright, so excited, that she might get suspicious. The two had been planning a trip to Europe for some time. Anna had some holiday saved up from last year, and Elsa had invited her on a romantic vacation for just the two of them.

Elsa had been to Amsterdam once or twice. _Christianson &amp; Hofferson_ once had business to attend there, but only for a few days. This time, Elsa would get to explore the city. She'd secretly hoped she could convince Anna to go to Amsterdam with her. But in the end, Anna was the one who got to decide, since she'd never been to Europe. Elsa had feared Anna might pick Paris. Not that there was anything wrong with Paris, but the blonde couldn't help but think it was a bit cliché.

Cliché because Elsa was planning on proposing to Anna.

It had been done so many times before. Leading the girl towards the Eiffel Tower on a warm summer night, the lights blooming beautifully in the dark around them, and then getting down on one knee in front of the monument. No. It was too public for Elsa's taste. Too romantic-comedy movie like. Like Elsa had already established, their story was nothing like one of those romantic comedies. Far from. Their romance had been filled with flaws and hurt. Their story was too real, too imperfect for something as fairytale like as proposing in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Instead, Elsa thought she could make her own romantic setting. Instead, she wanted to propose to Anna between the tulips or next to one of the beautiful canals running through the city. She wanted to make it special, but at the same time, she didn't want to make too big a deal out of it. Anna wasn't the type of girl who needed a big fancy ring and an expensive trip to Paris. Anna was a simple girl. Materialistic things didn't mean much to her. What mattered to Anna, were the people in her life. The love she received and returned. That was what mattered.

For some reason, Elsa knew Anna was going to say yes. For some reason, Elsa wasn't even scared that the redhead would turn her down. There was this unbreakable certainty inside of Elsa. She knew Anna would never waver from her side.

There was a reason the two had met each other again after all of these years.

The reason was that they were meant for each other.

The reason was that they were given a second chance to make it work.

And this time it was working, and it was lasting.

They were the love of each other's lives, that much was sure.

Elsa wasn't sure what had brought them together, and she didn't care. Whether it was fate, destiny, God, karma, or simply pure coincidence, she was just thankful.

She was thankful for being torn apart, and reassembled again with the piece that she had been missing all along. And that piece was Anna.

* * *

THE END

* * *

**A/N:** I would like to give a big thanks to sedryn, valathe, TeamWildeEllie and midnight1339 for helping me out with this story. You guys rock.

I'd also like to thank you awesome readers out there. It's a pleasure writing for you guys.

Check out for my new story "A World That Doesn't Care."

Until next time,

\- Banana-viking


End file.
